Fight with a friend

angela wrote:

This doesn't sound like a matter of 'always being a perfectionist about
manners'. This sounds like this lady has Issues with a capital Ish.

What a *great* expression. I must steal it.

I mean,
*who* turns *pale* at the very thought of breastfeeding a child at a wedding
(or anywhere else, for that matter)?

Well, to be fair, it sounded to me a little as though she thought the OP meant
to nurse *during the ceremony*, which might indeed be cause for a little
concern at a very formal wedding like this. Or that she meant to nurse with the
whole bodice half pulled down at the reception, which I also rather doubt.

Personally, if it were me and I wanted to carry the baby around and nurse her
whenever during the reception, I'd change out of the bridesmaid dress anyway,
but it doesn't sound like that kind of party. It sounds like "leaving the dance
floor for a while to go nurse the baby in Room X somewhere". In which case, I
don't see that it matters AT ALL whether you're feeding the baby breastmilk
from the tap, or strained bananas. It doesn't matter a damn to anyone else.

--Helen

AlenasMom writes:
: Yesterday I was at the dress fitting for my friend's wedding. One of her
: bride's maids is really uptight and "socially correct" about everything.
: All the dresses are being custom made, and when we were talking about how
: my bodice will lace up the front, she asked why. I told her it was because
: I'll have to have access to nurse Alena.

: She turned really pale and asked if I was serious. I told her yes (in a
: voice that meant no nonsense to everyone else) and tried to change the
: subject. She must have done the math in her head and said: "Don't you think
: that nursing at 10 months is a little excessive?"

: I said no and told her that I plan to nurse until Alena's ready to wean
: herself. She looked ill. She got up, excused herself and went into another
: room. The bride went and asked her what was wrong. They were still in
: hearing distance, but not sight. She said that she wasn't going to be in
: the wedding party if I was seriously going to be nursing my toddler (since
: when is a ten month old a toddler????) during the wedding!
: I was so ****ed! I'm not planning on whipping it out during their vows, but
: I will nurse her after the ceremony and during the reception which is 6
: hours long! She's mad at this!

: The worst was at dinner when she told, not asked!, me to go nurse in the
: bathroom. I told her that we were nursing at the table and she could mind
: her own business. I wasn't about to let my baby starve nor eat in the
: bathroom by a disgusting garbage can no matter what she said.

: I think I've royally ticked her off now, but luckily the bride is pro
: breastfeeding and is really supportive of me. She even insisted that my
: bodice do up in the front to accommodate the baby's nursing.

: But I'm worried. I have to plan the bridal shower with this woman and I
: just don't know what to say to her. She thinks nursing is disgusting and
: shouldn't be done, ever. She told me to my face that she'll never nurse
: because she was formula fed and she's just fine, and so was most of our
: generation and we're smarter, healthier and stronger than previous
: generations. (Not all true at all.)

: Any advice???

Yes. Stand right in front of the witch every time you have to nurse.

Sigh,
Larry

: --
: Lina
: Alena born July 1st, 2003
: www.maternalinstinctscanada.com
: validate the email address before sending.

OK. This is terrible bitchy advice. Read Richard's post instead
and do what he says.

:-)
Larry

Larry McMahan writes:
: AlenasMom writes:
: : Yesterday I was at the dress fitting for my friend's wedding. One of her
: : bride's maids is really uptight and "socially correct" about everything.
: : All the dresses are being custom made, and when we were talking about how
: : my bodice will lace up the front, she asked why. I told her it was because
: : I'll have to have access to nurse Alena.

: : She turned really pale and asked if I was serious. I told her yes (in a
: : voice that meant no nonsense to everyone else) and tried to change the
: : subject. She must have done the math in her head and said: "Don't you think
: : that nursing at 10 months is a little excessive?"

: : I said no and told her that I plan to nurse until Alena's ready to wean
: : herself. She looked ill. She got up, excused herself and went into another
: : room. The bride went and asked her what was wrong. They were still in
: : hearing distance, but not sight. She said that she wasn't going to be in
: : the wedding party if I was seriously going to be nursing my toddler (since
: : when is a ten month old a toddler????) during the wedding!
: : I was so ****ed! I'm not planning on whipping it out during their vows, but
: : I will nurse her after the ceremony and during the reception which is 6
: : hours long! She's mad at this!

: : The worst was at dinner when she told, not asked!, me to go nurse in the
: : bathroom. I told her that we were nursing at the table and she could mind
: : her own business. I wasn't about to let my baby starve nor eat in the
: : bathroom by a disgusting garbage can no matter what she said.

: : I think I've royally ticked her off now, but luckily the bride is pro
: : breastfeeding and is really supportive of me. She even insisted that my
: : bodice do up in the front to accommodate the baby's nursing.

: : But I'm worried. I have to plan the bridal shower with this woman and I
: : just don't know what to say to her. She thinks nursing is disgusting and
: : shouldn't be done, ever. She told me to my face that she'll never nurse
: : because she was formula fed and she's just fine, and so was most of our
: : generation and we're smarter, healthier and stronger than previous
: : generations. (Not all true at all.)

: : Any advice???

: Yes. Stand right in front of the witch every time you have to nurse.

: Sigh,
: Larry

: : --
: : Lina
: : Alena born July 1st, 2003
: : www.maternalinstinctscanada.com
: : validate the email address before sending.

Lina,

She told me to my face that she'll never nurse
because she was formula fed and she's just fine,

Maybe it was the formula that made her stupid? Tell
her to take up her complaints with God, because He is
the one who gave you the ability to feed a baby as a
baby is made to be fed!

marvin

Marvin L. Zinn
Reply to:
Using Virtual Access
Windows 2000 build 2600

"Karlee in Kansas" wrote in message
...
In the mean time, realize that
as angry as you are (ok we all are) you can't change anyone unless they
are
in diapers.
LOL
Oh man that just craked me up ... I've never heard it before (mind if
I use it?)
Amanda
--
DD 15th August 2002
1 tiny angel Nov 2003

"AlenasMom" wrote in message e.rogers.com...

But I'm worried. I have to plan the bridal shower with this woman and I
just don't know what to say to her. She thinks nursing is disgusting and
shouldn't be done, ever. She told me to my face that she'll never nurse
because she was formula fed and she's just fine, and so was most of our
generation and we're smarter, healthier and stronger than previous
generations. (Not all true at all.)

Any advice???

Yeah -- nurse in front of her as often as you have the opportunity and
then take the verbal high road. :-) She's trying to change your
behavior by shaming you into stopping just because *she* isn't
comfortable with it, and that's just too obnoxious to be dignified
with any response. Imagine her complaining about an adult's medical
needs, like a heart attack patient on a non-fat diet, and getting
anywhere at all...

If she insists on bringing it up, say something about how you're going
to follow the AAP and WHO guidelines, of course, and hey, what about
the centerpieces or whatever? It is recommended medical practice,
after all, and you can always act surprised that she would seriously
suggest subverting it.

I *love* the matching sling idea.

--
C, mama to one year old nursling

"New York Jen" wrote in message
...
Just a thought...if you end up having it out with her...take our your boob
and give her a good squirt!

Ok, feeling aggravated, getting out some venom here...

back to your regularly scheduled programming...

- Jen
who just had an AWFUL hour in BJ's Wholesale with Laszlo who is a master
at
the Terrible Two Dance...

LOL *snort!* I have to admit that thought has crossed my mind before when
having an argument about my bf DD with a friend of a friend ... I refrained
though, but its nice to see somebody else has these evil thoughts
Amanda

"AlenasMom" wrote in message
.rogers.com...
Yesterday I was at the dress fitting for my friend's wedding. One of her
bride's maids is really uptight and "socially correct" about everything.
All the dresses are being custom made, and when we were talking about how
my bodice will lace up the front, she asked why. I told her it was because
I'll have to have access to nurse Alena.

She turned really pale and asked if I was serious. I told her yes (in a
voice that meant no nonsense to everyone else) and tried to change the
subject. She must have done the math in her head and said: "Don't you
think
that nursing at 10 months is a little excessive?"

I said no and told her that I plan to nurse until Alena's ready to wean
herself. She looked ill. She got up, excused herself and went into another
room. The bride went and asked her what was wrong. They were still in
hearing distance, but not sight. She said that she wasn't going to be in
the wedding party if I was seriously going to be nursing my toddler (since
when is a ten month old a toddler????) during the wedding!
I was so ****ed! I'm not planning on whipping it out during their vows,
but
I will nurse her after the ceremony and during the reception which is 6
hours long! She's mad at this!

The worst was at dinner when she told, not asked!, me to go nurse in the
bathroom. I told her that we were nursing at the table and she could mind
her own business. I wasn't about to let my baby starve nor eat in the
bathroom by a disgusting garbage can no matter what she said.

I think I've royally ticked her off now, but luckily the bride is pro
breastfeeding and is really supportive of me. She even insisted that my
bodice do up in the front to accommodate the baby's nursing.

But I'm worried. I have to plan the bridal shower with this woman and I
just don't know what to say to her. She thinks nursing is disgusting and
shouldn't be done, ever. She told me to my face that she'll never nurse
because she was formula fed and she's just fine, and so was most of our
generation and we're smarter, healthier and stronger than previous
generations. (Not all true at all.)

Any advice???


--
Lina
Alena born July 1st, 2003
www.maternalinstinctscanada.com
validate the email address before sending.



Oh Lina - this is really a hard situation, but please don't feel threatened
by this silly girl. Next time she demands you go bf in the *toilet* then
feel free to demand she join you there with her dinner. This is easier said
than done.
I can be a right cheeky cow when I want to be though so I'd probably settle
for bf in front of her at every chance I get. Also - I'd try to be
proactive by calling her, and saying that you will not change your mind
about bf and if she has a problem that is sad, but couldn't you put your
differences aside for your friend the bride (pointing out that the bride
seems fine with this). being the bigger person makes it hard for her to
look justified at all in her responses.
There will be no convincing her that bf is great, but I'd just rebut any of
her comments (that smarter / healthier stronger one is such a load of BS)
with a few carefully chosen facts about bf humans being definitely
healthier, smarter and stronger as a population .....
Hang in there and vent to us if you need to.
Amanda

"New York Jen" wrote in message
...
Jen, I think you and I would hit it off in real life...


I tend to be an obnoxious bitch when the opportunity calls for it
I can't stand to see people get walked all over and I refuse to be walked
over myself so I have always stood up for what I believe in....even if it's
out of line unfortunately ;(

Jen

"A&G&K" wrote in message
...
|
| "Karlee in Kansas" wrote in message
| ...
| In the mean time, realize that
| as angry as you are (ok we all are) you can't change anyone unless they
| are
| in diapers.
| LOL
| Oh man that just craked me up ... I've never heard it before (mind
if
| I use it?)
| Amanda
| --
| DD 15th August 2002
| 1 tiny angel Nov 2003

Be my guest!!! I have tons of them....

Hugs
Karlee in Kansas

~~
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't
matter and those who matter don't mind."
-Dr. Seuss