An Update! (Oops... Kinda long)

Alright, so my mom came down the other day to sit down and try to work some
things out with me.
We went through bills - old and current - as well as incoming income.
I know the major problem was the bills that were backed up from here to
China, and I'll tell you, China is quite the distance from here in Canada!


With all my current income, she helped me sort out the bills. We figured
out what the bills would be if they were not all backed up and what they
would be each and every month, assuming I didn't let them slide and have
over-due charges and all that. The one exception is the power, which
obviously won't be the exact same every month...

Rent, insurance, cable, phone, cell phone, Internet - they're all the same
every month. Since my income is split up on when it comes in, we have set
dates on which day to pay which bill.
My income is basically peanuts without working, but with what I have, it's
enough to pay the rent and bills, watch what I spend on groceries and extra,
and not waste so much money. I can more than likely make the money stretch
now that I've had my eyes opened, I guess.

I do, though, owe my mom big time. She took my bills and paid off the over
due amount. Now, basically, I am caught up for all bills, just the current
charges stand. It really wasn't all that much for a total, but all at once,
for me, it seemed like a mountain, but my mom offered (even offered to take
my laundry this weekend and do it and have it ready and back on Monday so it
would be ready for B to go to school on Tuesday, but, unfortunately
(fortunately?) I had the laundry basically caught up lol I could definitely
manage the 2-3 loads that were left to do, and most of them were fairly
unimportant for the time being (blankets and sheets, towels, stuff like
that - which I had already done a load of towels so wasn't in dire need of
all them being washed right then and there)

Now, I am thinking, my plan is to just ride everything out for the time
being. Keep to the little schedule we came up with for paying bills when
and I am going to be calling the daycare down the road from home to see if I
can be put on a waiting list for 3 spots - 2 babies full time, 1 school aged
child part time) for September '07. By then, B will be 6.5 and in grade 1,
A will be just over 2 and this baby (yes, I think I've found the name I've
decided on!!) will be just about a year old. I'm going to spend this next
year or so staying at home, toughing it out and looking into school. I know
I can more than likely finish any courses I want/need for school next
September - I plan to find out what I need (after I figure out exactly what
I want) and just challenge all those needed classes/courses with the exams
only. I did that for my English 30 class a couple years ago, and did just
fine. The cost to write the tests only is a lot cheaper than school, I can
study for them at home at my convenience (as working or going to class even
part time for the next year is basically out of the question) and can
prepare myself for next September. At this point, I'm really looking
forward to that - getting what I need done, getting any loans or anything
like that in place and just getting ready to take that dive into it all.
Maybe then at that point, when I'm done school, I WILL go to work full time
with a job that pays the bills and then some. I do think that I will then
pay my parents back for all they've given me (for just random $$ they've
given me lately, the bills my mom has just paid off, finish paying for the
car what I still owe them)
I think now that I have a better idea of what I want and need, my family
will definitely be my best support.

Also, earlier today we did stop and see Norm. We were there bright and
early in the morning - I think we left the house right at 9:30am, so were
there no later than 9:45, woke him up from his oh-so-precious sleepover with
the guy that floats around the complex from unit to unit, staying wherever a
person is that will let him stay there for a while, and then him and I
walked to the park across the field from his mom's place. B played in the
park, A had fun watching him, and N and I talked a bit. I just simply asked
him what he thought or wanted with the situation at hand. He began to tell
me what *we* wanted, and I (yes, it was politely) asked him again what *he*
wanted and he then told me what *he* wanted. Not getting into all that, we
had talked, as human beings, as well as parents, and figured if that's what
is wanted, then it's something to work towards, and I had told him straight
up that it's not going to be today or tomorrow that he comes back and we're
a happy family again. It's not going to work like that. I had told him
that the kids do need him around, and he had told me he was going to do his
best for that. I offered him any help and support that I could (like if he
wants me to help him find a job, I will help him and support whatever
decision he makes) and we'd see how we can both be good parents to the kids
and work together on that, establish that and then see what's next. For
some reason, the way it was discussed and talked about, it did make sense.
I had told him that the kids cost money, they take time, I *could* do it
myself, or he could do what he can as well. It went, basically, more or
less like that, and it did seem like we got somewhere. Not very far, but we
did make small steps forward. I did tell him that actions speak volumes,
and I did tell him to not promise but to just do what he thinks is right.
I did invite him over for supper - he did say that it's not me that he
doesn't show up, but did admit that when he messes up (says he'll call or
show up but gets sidetracked and does something he knows will upset or
disappoint me, whatever) he's ashamed to come to me because he thinks I'll
be upset or disappointed. I think in a way, it is me, but I then told him
that if he's willing to try and change things that *HE* wants to change -
not what I want him to change - then I will offer support, and if he messes
up on his own accord and falls on his face, I can be the one who is there to
pick him up, kick him in the face and then set him back in the right
direction if he wants me to. When I had said that, I really did think he'd
tell me to go fly a kite (in more or less words) but to my surprise, he did
say that he would want me to be that kind of support, and since he hasn't
had that kind of support, he does see that I've been the *only* one - his
past relationships, friends, family included - to be that kind of support.
Now, about inviting him over for supper, he said he'd have to see what was
going on. He did make a prior commitment to his sister to help her out with
this (horribly shaped) trailer home she bought the other night, and I
swallowed everything that wanted to fly out of my mouth and then just told
him the offer was there, let me know if I need to make more food, and if I
didn't hear from him by shortly after 3, I would make supper for the kids
and I only. Didn't hear from him, so assumed he went with his sister (this
morning he wasn't sure if she was going to drag him out there or not) and I
talked to him about 20ish minutes ago this evening. He said he was still
out there and would be leaving and home around 1030ish, said he would call.
Not holding my breath, but I told him he's welcome to call any time and I
would more than likely still be up at that time.
I'll go on with my night. I plan to go up and take a nice, long, hot bath
and just relax a bit, then I think I'll crawl into bed, watch a bit of TV,
then turn that noise off and do a bit more of the blanket I am making for
Bran's Christmas present - finished Amie's a while back and started on the
next one, so it's a nice way to unwind.
Might even try out a slice (or 9) of the bread I'm trying to make right now
I picked up an older breadmaker - for free - and picked up the few
ingredients I was missing to make some bread. It's looking still like a big
ball of dough, and there was about 35 mins left on the timer when I checked
it last - so probably under 20 minutes left until there's hot, fresh bread
to snack on Hoping it turns out and I can manage to toss random bread
ingredients into a bin and press the Start button to make bread so I can
move on to some sort of dinner buns then.... *drum roll* CINNAMON BUNS!!!!!!

But anyways, today was a fairly good day... Aside from my son, who seems to
be quite the clumsy knob lately, wiping out on his friend's bike in the
parking lot and scraping his knee and arm up a little. Oh, and he has this
mysterious puffy eye problem where it looks fairly swollen. No idea how it
happened... An old friend of mine stopped by this afternoon with his
girlfriend to visit and see the kids and SHE was the one that, out of
nowhere, asked why his eye all of a sudden looked swollen. It did appear
out of nowhere, and now, about 7 hours later, it still looks swollen and is
kinda half open, maybe a bit more than half open. It doesn't seem to bother
him anymore, and it's not all red like it was, but it's just strange. Hope
it goes away by morning, otherwise I might bend and take him in to see a
doctor and see what's up.

Anyways, bread has about 4 mins left on the timer, and it still looks like a
ball of raw dough in the machine, but it's grown a bit, so I'll call my aunt
(that I got the recipe from) and see if I messed up big time or what to do
next! I want some fresh bread!!!!!

'Kate wrote:
MMMMMmm fresh bread!
Breakfast at xkatx's!

I'm glad you got so many things straightened out.

No Way ! Im goin for the cinnamin buns!

Kat you did a good job by asking for help from mom and I am glad you
figured out you can keep everything on and not lose any accounts !
Bravo!

"Bev" wrote in message
ups.com...

'Kate wrote:
MMMMMmm fresh bread!
Breakfast at xkatx's!

I'm glad you got so many things straightened out.

For now...

No Way ! Im goin for the cinnamin buns!

Kat you did a good job by asking for help from mom and I am glad you
figured out you can keep everything on and not lose any accounts !
Bravo!

It's manageable for now, so that's a good thing. Won't be living the high
life, by any means, but will be able to get by.


Oh, you might want to wait a little while, and cinnamon buns won't be any
time soon... Bread turned out to taste... Uh... Well, not fantastic...
Tasted too much like flour, I think. I did follow the directions exactly
how they were given to me, and I did measure it all properly, I think, but
the bread tasted a bit too much like flour for my liking, for some reason!
I'll keep trying LOL