Keeping Toddler in bed

I don't come here with too many problems since they usually manage to
resolve themselves but this one is pushing me to the brink.

Matthew (2y9m) is still in a crib at home in CT, but I'm up here in NH in
our lake house for the summer. It's just he and I during the week, dh comes
on the weekends. He has outgrown/can climb out of the pack 'n play so he's
in a "big" bed with a bedrail.

The problem is that bedtime is getting very difficult. He will get out of
bed up to 15 times before he will stay in. I find myself making threats and
revoking privileges (favorite video, etc.) but obviously these are not
working and it's not what I really want to be doing. I'm just having a block
on what to do.

I've kept our routine the same up here since he is very sensitive to changes
in routine. Bedtime varies somewhat, but not much more than an hour. The
layout of the house is a little tricky too. It's a typical lake cottage with
a family room/kitchen with the bedrooms right off the living area. He can
hear everything that is going on and he knows I'm right there. I try to keep
my activity to a minimum until I know he's asleep, I don't want him to think
anything interesting happens after he goes to bed. TV is off, radio is off.
Usually I just sit and read until he finally falls asleep.

I really need suggestions since I'm finding myself starting to lose my cool
and I don't typically parent that way.

Thanks.

JennP.
mom to matthew 10/11/00

In article , newfy.1
@juno.com says...
I don't come here with too many problems since they usually manage to
resolve themselves but this one is pushing me to the brink.

snip
I really need suggestions since I'm finding myself starting to lose my cool
and I don't typically parent that way.

Well he is just testing the his new found freedom.. as anyone naturally
does. What I did with both kids was to put them in bed and have a tea
or fav beverage and a good book and sit down near the bedroom door.
Everytime one of the kids came out of the door. I would just tell them
to go to bed. No other conversation and only I would relent to let them
out for one and I mean one glass of water or if they had to go to the
bathroom. Do not get angry do not laugh just keep your voice even and
tell him it is bedtime and goodnight.
This process took around 2 weeks and I went through at least 2 cups of
tea the first night and I read around 3 books by the end of the 2nd
week.

Good luck.
Jennifer

whatcom wrote in message m...
In article , newfy.1
@juno.com says...
I don't come here with too many problems since they usually manage to
resolve themselves but this one is pushing me to the brink.

snip
I really need suggestions since I'm finding myself starting to lose my cool
and I don't typically parent that way.

Well he is just testing the his new found freedom.. as anyone naturally
does. What I did with both kids was to put them in bed and have a tea
or fav beverage and a good book and sit down near the bedroom door.
Everytime one of the kids came out of the door. I would just tell them
to go to bed. No other conversation and only I would relent to let them
out for one and I mean one glass of water or if they had to go to the
bathroom. Do not get angry do not laugh just keep your voice even and
tell him it is bedtime and goodnight.
This process took around 2 weeks and I went through at least 2 cups of
tea the first night and I read around 3 books by the end of the 2nd
week.

Good luck.
Jennifer

Hi, I am a mother of a 6 year old and I had the same problem. A
friend suggested the star reward method. Each night they go to bed
with no fuss they get a star on the calender. After they save up a
set number of stars they get to buy something, Or ask him what toy he
would like to try and earn. Good luck, Tracey.

"TWilson" wrote in message
om...
Hi, I am a mother of a 6 year old and I had the same problem. A
friend suggested the star reward method. Each night they go to bed
with no fuss they get a star on the calender. After they save up a
set number of stars they get to buy something, Or ask him what toy he
would like to try and earn. Good luck, Tracey.

You know, I thought about a reward system like that, but I really don't
think he's old enough to understand an extended concept like that yet.
Thanks. How old were your kids when you did it with them?

JennP.

"whatcom" wrote in message
...

Well he is just testing the his new found freedom.. as anyone naturally
does.

Oh, I don't doubt that for a moment. It is definitly getting out of control
because up until today he was staying in bed for nap, but just now it took
45 min to keep him in his room (fingers crossed still).

What I did with both kids was to put them in bed and have a tea
or fav beverage and a good book and sit down near the bedroom door.
Everytime one of the kids came out of the door. I would just tell them
to go to bed. No other conversation and only I would relent to let them
out for one and I mean one glass of water or if they had to go to the
bathroom. Do not get angry do not laugh just keep your voice even and
tell him it is bedtime and goodnight.
This process took around 2 weeks and I went through at least 2 cups of
tea the first night and I read around 3 books by the end of the 2nd
week.

Thanks. Anyone want to send me Tim Tams to go with that tea? I will
definitly try that. I know I need to work on keeping my cool. I took the
firm-but-calm voice approach just now for nap. It took a while, but I think
there is a little un-doing to be done before I can expect results.

Honestly, thinking about it all morning, I think that being up here on
perma-vacation you tend to get a little lax with rules and consequences.
Life is a little more relaxed, but a two year old can't handle the sudden
change. I think that is what is happening and I think I need to tighten up a
bit all around. Thanks.

JennP.