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wanting to have a baby
I have been wanting another baby and having dreams about having babies and
holding and nursing them. My youngest of 3 is almost 6 and we are "done" having children. For 5 years I definately did NOT want to have anymore and the feelings I'm having are making me sad. Ugh how do you stop those feelings! I thought about getting a dog from the shelter but how many dogs would I end up with before the urges went away? lol Marie |
#2
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wanting to have a baby
"MarieD" wrote in message ... I have been wanting another baby and having dreams about having babies and holding and nursing them. My youngest of 3 is almost 6 and we are "done" having children. For 5 years I definately did NOT want to have anymore and the feelings I'm having are making me sad. Ugh how do you stop those feelings! I thought about getting a dog from the shelter but how many dogs would I end up with before the urges went away? lol Marie Hi Marie I don't have an awful lot of advice, but I know my mum said that the dreams and feelings never left her. She wakes up and spends the day missing the baby that she'd had. So you're not alone in that, but I don't know what would make it better. It's not a time that I look forward to. I'd like another baby after this, but I can't imagine then never having another baby. All my life I've looked forward to being pregnant and having babies, it worries me that one day I'll not be doing it anymore *hugs* Lucy x |
#3
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wanting to have a baby
I agree with Pologirl. Talk it out. Talk to your dh, but also go talk to a
counselor, and try to work through it. Write in a journal. If the talk with dh ends with the same decision, that he's doesn't want another child, then you are basically going to have to find a way to accept that decision. One way that I've found to accept hard decisions that I've made is to write up a list of all the reasons why we made that decision, all the pros of the decision. Focus on those. Some simple ones are that with 3 kids 6 years old and up, you have a lot of freedom. Freedom from diapers, and middle of the night wakings. Freedom to take certain kinds of trips and vacations that just aren't doable with a newborn. Think of what those are, then start planning some. You may have family members nearby who would be willing to take the kids for a weekend, allowing you and your dh to have a quiet romantic weekend alone, either at your own home, or out at a B&B. Those same family members may not be willing to take a newborn along with the other 3, so it could be YEARS before you could plan a weekend away like that. Do you see what I mean? None of this take away from how great babies are/can be, and may not take away your urges for another child, but if you focus on the benefits of older children, and start really planning and enjoying those benefits, you may realize that instead of longing for what you don't have, you are enjoying more fully, what you do have. You have to retrain your brain. When you feel those sad feelings come up, you have to stop yourself, and put something positive in it's place. Eventually you will not feel those sad feelings any more. It's not going to happen all by itself, though. You have to work through it. It's easy to wallow in those feelings, but in the long run, it doesn't benefit you, your dh, or your kids. I don't know if you know my history, but dh and I suffered through 5 years of infertility and pregnancy losses (at least 9). We finally ended up building our family through open adoption, and have two little girls, age 5.5 and almost 4. We are so blessed. But, I had to process and work through the idea that I would never carry a pregnancy to term, give birth, or breastfeed. For me, I looked at the long term goal -- which was to have a family. Pregnancy and birth are just one path to get there, but for me, I had to take another path. But the end result was the same, that I got my family. Maybe for you, you need to remind youself that babies don't stay babies forever, and it's rather common for women to have the urge to have another baby when their youngest reach a certain age. For some people, that's about 3, for others, like you, it may be 6. Either which way, having another child is no guarantee that you won't get "broody" again when that child was 4, 5 or 6 years old. I tell you my story, not to say that you should be happy with what you have, because some of us are "worse off", but to say, you can get past these feelings. I think many women have to work through feelings like this, for lots of reasons. Good luck. -- Jamie Clark www.ClarkDigitalArts.com "MarieD" wrote in message ... I have been wanting another baby and having dreams about having babies and holding and nursing them. My youngest of 3 is almost 6 and we are "done" having children. For 5 years I definately did NOT want to have anymore and the feelings I'm having are making me sad. Ugh how do you stop those feelings! I thought about getting a dog from the shelter but how many dogs would I end up with before the urges went away? lol Marie |
#4
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wanting to have a baby
"MarieD" wrote in message ... I have been wanting another baby and having dreams about having babies and holding and nursing them. My youngest of 3 is almost 6 and we are "done" having children. For 5 years I definately did NOT want to have anymore and the feelings I'm having are making me sad. Ugh how do you stop those feelings! I thought about getting a dog from the shelter but how many dogs would I end up with before the urges went away? lol Lots of sympathy. I suspect I'll be feeling like you in a few years. Even now with #3 just turned a year a feel twinges of jealousy for those having that lovely newborn stage again. At present I don't want to be pregnant again, but I'm not sure how I'll manage when he's getting bigger. Debbie |
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