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How old should children be before being left alone?



 
 
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  #21  
Old October 25th 03, 10:39 PM
Jenn
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Default How old should children be before being left alone?

In article ,
(H Schinske) wrote:


"dragonlady" wrote in message
...
I think you misread that. If the daughter had NOT been left at home at
all, there would have been much more damage. The hose would have broken
when no one was there. So, while she might have acted faster, the fact
that she was there to act at all saved the house from even worse damage


In theory, I have been told, you should not leave the house while any
appliance
is running (dishwasher, washer, etc.). Something could always go bust or go
on
fire or whatever.

In hindsight, what the kid (was it Banty? I have already forgotten!) should
obviously have done is turn the washer off. But I know washers that are going
BANGBANGBANG are pretty scary.

Come to think of it, *I* don't know where the water shut-off valve is in my
house. I have known, but I can't remember at the moment. Must ask.

--Helen


many houses oddly enough don't even have them

we were stunned to discover that our home which is only about 15 years
old doesn't have one - you have to get down on your belly in the front
yard and shut it off at the meter [which is located in a hole many feet
deep] -- not something I am sure I could even do -- when we had a
crisis, my then 20 year old son did it for me

parents should never be upset or get mad at a kid who doesn't act
correctly in such an emergency IF they haven't been taught how to act in
those emergencies --

a kid who has not been taught to get everyone out of the house at the
first sign of a fire, or to turn off the water, etc etc should not be
left alone
  #22  
Old October 25th 03, 10:42 PM
Banty
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Default How old should children be before being left alone?

In article , Jenn says...

In article ,
"Donna Metler" wrote:



looking back, I think 12 is probably a better rule of thumb. our son
was reliable at 10 but sometimes his judgment was a bit flawed. we did
have very strict rules e.g. he liked to cook, but was not allowed to use
blenders or similar devices at that age alone -- he could mix brownies
by hand or whatever but not use any power tools, or blenders or boil
things on top of the stove.

what is heartbreaking is the situation like the recent mother whose
sitter didn't come, and who left kids alone while she went to work -- a
fire in the apartment building killed them [I think it was a 9 year old
watching a 4 year old] Sure it was negligent -- but she faced losing
her job if she failed to get to work and welfare reform means that there
isn't welfare to fall back on if she did lose her job -- and then she
might lose her kids to foster care for losing her apartment/job --- it
is a choice that is a loser for her any way you look. of course most
mothers pushed into this choice don't have a tragedy --- but now
apparently the plan is to lock this hapless women up for a few years for
a situation with no way out


I think such situations would be judged differently in decades past. It'd be
viewed as a tragedy, but not negligence.

We had a thread here some time back about a family in a low-income neighborhood
where the police, mistakenly at the wrong address, raided starting with bringing
in a K-9 dog. There were no adults; the oldest responsible individual in the
house at the time was 12, there was also an a autistic older teen. The OP
screamed "where was the mother!". Well, leaving her kids with a
babysitting-aged daughter.

As if families are to be prepared for mistaken police raids involving dogs.

Banty

  #23  
Old October 25th 03, 11:45 PM
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Default How old should children be before being left alone?

Banty wrote:

I think such situations would be judged differently in decades past. It'd be
viewed as a tragedy, but not negligence.


This is more of the feeling that I had about such situations when I made the
original post. Many, if not most, kids in past generations learned that they
had to become responsible at an early age. Dickens's workhouse England,
American farm families, and the general tenor of living closer to the land
prior to the 1960s made kids more aware of consequences, and minimized the
number of different ways they could get into life and death situations. More
often than not, a child was intimately exposed to the death of a friend or
family member, or at least a farm animal, early on in life.

Ray Bradbury's "Dandelion Wine" explores the nature of being a child just
before the 1929 depression. I stumbled across excerpts after writing the
original post and found them a useful comparison to the responses here.
  #24  
Old October 25th 03, 11:53 PM
Albert Wagner
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Default How old should children be before being left alone?

On Sat, 25 Oct 2003 17:12:55 -0400
127.0.0.1 wrote:

snip
who elected you god? who the hell made you the arbiter of who deserves
life and who doesn't?

stick to riding your broom


Somewhat of an overreaction, 127. I heard something else in Chloe's
post: a profound sense of tragedy over children in a no win situation.

--
Life is an offensive, directed against the repetitious mechanism of the
Universe.
--Alfred North Whitehead (1861-1947)
  #25  
Old October 26th 03, 04:29 AM
toypup
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Default How old should children be before being left alone?


"Banty" wrote in message
...
In article , Penny Gaines says...

Banty wrote in :
Like someone said, what is "being left alone". Is it alright for me to
leave the 9yo in the house, while I hang out the washing in the garden?
I don't think that would be a problem. Is it alright for me and dh to
take our cups of coffee to the end of the garden, and leave the kids

inside,
or do we insist that they come outside too? And if both of those are OK,
why shouldn't I post a letter at the post office: it takes less time then
hanging out the washing, and is closer then the end of the garden?


It's not just a matter of how long they're left alone, but also how

available
you are in case they need you. So if you're in the far side of the garden

for
30 minutes, they can find you, but leaving them to get milk at the store

for 20
minutes may be more of a risk. They can't get your help if they need it.


Yeah. One lady near here left her two children at home. The 1 yo was
watching tv and the 3 yo was napping. She walked her older child to the bus
stop around the corner and got home not 10 minutes later. The house was on
fire and her children were dead. It was an electrical fire. If she were in
the garden, she would have noticed the fire sooner and probably been able to
save her kids. Fires spread quickly. 10 minutes is a long time.


  #26  
Old October 26th 03, 04:24 PM
toto
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Default How old should children be before being left alone?

On Sun, 26 Oct 2003 03:29:51 GMT, "toypup"
wrote:

Yeah. One lady near here left her two children at home. The 1 yo was
watching tv and the 3 yo was napping. She walked her older child to the bus
stop around the corner and got home not 10 minutes later. The house was on
fire and her children were dead. It was an electrical fire. If she were in
the garden, she would have noticed the fire sooner and probably been able to
save her kids. Fires spread quickly. 10 minutes is a long time.


Leaving a one year old and a three year old alone in a house is
irresponsible in any case. It may be inconvenient to take them with
you, but at this age things can happen in a few seconds so ten minutes
is a very long time to leave them alone.


--
Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..

The Outer Limits
  #27  
Old October 26th 03, 05:31 PM
Mary Ann
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Default How old should children be before being left alone?


"toypup" wrote in message
news:uNBmb.14425$9E1.67911@attbi_s52...

"dragonlady" wrote in message
...
I think you misread that. If the daughter had NOT been left at home at
all, there would have been much more damage. The hose would have broken
when no one was there. So, while she might have acted faster, the fact
that she was there to act at all saved the house from even worse damage.


What I think is, she was lucky it was just a broken hose. If it had been
some other emergency, quicker action might have made a more profound
difference.

When my daughters were 10 and 11 they were home alone for a bit. One made a
waffle in the toaster ove. The oven malfunctioned (no her fault) and did not
turn off. The toast burned the toaster ove flamed. They ran to a neightbors.
No real damager was done but I praised them for doing the right
thing...leaving the house imediately


  #29  
Old October 27th 03, 01:55 AM
Naomi Pardue
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Default How old should children be before being left alone?

I looked her "main water what???"
:-)


Well gosh... I guess I'd better not be left alone. I haven't the faintest idea
of how to turn off the main water line in our house!


Naomi
CAPPA Certified Lactation Educator

(either remove spamblock or change address to to e-mail
reply.)
 




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