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help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)



 
 
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  #41  
Old July 21st 03, 12:31 AM
dolores
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)


"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

wrote in message

news:[email protected]
Lisa aka Surfer wrote:

Well done, Tom. You have a bigger heart than I, it was clear from
the very first reply from Betsy that she wasn't going to get the
point. Yet you still took the time. Man oh man you're doing well
these days!!!!

Lisa


Actually, Lisa, you and Tom are as emotionally abusive to me on here as
always and I won't put up with it from you either. And I was able to
resolve things with Betsy as I apologized for my sarcasm and she did get
through to me in email. Because she did truly care for me and my son's

best
interests. You never have. You have always been catty and superior and
very hurtful to me and I will not allow you to continue to do that to me
here.





L, you need to let go of this 'being abused online' stuff. No one can hurt
you unless you let them, online. Don't read their posts for god sake.


Ditto, I agree here Lorian. Killfile him, you've enough on yer plate
without making yourself read stuff that you know is going to get you down.

Dolores


  #42  
Old July 21st 03, 03:52 AM
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)

dolores wrote:

No I didn't mean *real* murder (getting away with murder must be an
Irish phrase). I meant that he knew he could push the boundaries
with you cos he could tell you had difficulty saying no....


"getting away with murder" is a phrase here too, it just struck a little too
close to my heart as I am so afraid of the police at this point since they
so consistently blame me and punish me whenever I ask them for help in a
crisis. And now my son has called my mother and lied to her too and she
didn't even call me to check the story out at all, she just assumed that I
was violent and told him to call his father to see if he could go live with
him. Is SHE insane? For one thing, she doesn't know me very well since she
isn't around me on a daily basis at all so she is no judge of my character
and for another thing, sending my so to call his father is sending him to
certain and painful rejection, his father doesn't WANT him. This is the man
who left me when I was pregnant and who complains about paying child
support, saying it is free money that I don't earn and that he has his
"own" family to support so he can't afford my son. I hope to God my mother
is never called upon as my next of kin to determine whether I should be
committed long term to a psychiatric unit because she told me to my face
that she assumed my son's story of me being violent was true. What a bitch.
The people in my life who do know me who know I wouldn't and couldn't hurt
him since I am physically unable are not related to me though. And she has a
history of abusing me herself but that was long ago. ****. I am so scared
now. what am I going to do? I need to find out the laws for my state and
how to get myself a guardian or something. For once I wish I was married.

Oh I didnt mean *you* threatened it, I meant a few others that
replied to your post suggested it, and (personally) I dont this would
be good in your particular situation, after all who else has this lad
got....and it would probably cause more problems than it would solve,
I think.



This is what I think would have been ideal for you when you first
became pregnant. I think social services should try and help, not
just you, but all first time mothers that have come from an abusive
family by placing them in a family that could be considered
relatively normal (cos there's no such thing as an ideal family).
Long term it would save the Gov. a whole lot of money and there'd be
a lot less children in this world suffering, simply cos the parents
had no idea how to be parents.


I searched for it in church after church but I never found it. If I am ever
rich I will start a chain of these.


Oh yeah!!.. I never thought of this group. Did you ever consider
going to them before, when your lad was little?


We did go to parents anonymous when he was little but I was always living
with an abuser at the time so it only went so far I'm afraid.

I dont know if I would call this *being there* for you, but I hope
things do get better for you.


It is people like you who have reached out to me in these times of crisis
throughout my life that have sustained me and kept me going. I appreciate
your practical advice and words of kindness so much.


  #43  
Old July 21st 03, 03:56 AM
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)

Tiffany wrote:
wrote in message
news:[email protected]
Lisa aka Surfer wrote:

Well done, Tom. You have a bigger heart than I, it was clear from
the very first reply from Betsy that she wasn't going to get the
point. Yet you still took the time. Man oh man you're doing well
these days!!!!

Lisa


Actually, Lisa, you and Tom are as emotionally abusive to me on here
as always and I won't put up with it from you either. And I was
able to resolve things with Betsy as I apologized for my sarcasm and
she did get through to me in email. Because she did truly care for
me and my son's best interests. You never have. You have always
been catty and superior and very hurtful to me and I will not allow
you to continue to do that to me here.





L, you need to let go of this 'being abused online' stuff. No one can
hurt you unless you let them, online. Don't read their posts for god
sake.


Hey, don't take the responsibility off of Lisa and put it on me Tiffany.
Lisa has a very long history of being cruel to me in her posts to me. She
doesn't need to waste bandwidth targeting me when I am at my most vulnerable
with hurtful remarks but she does it all the time. There is no difference
between if she said it to me online or in the mail or on the telephone or to
my face, words hurt. Get in her face, not mine.


  #44  
Old July 21st 03, 04:00 AM
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)

Rolly The Pervert wrote:
wrote in message
news:[email protected]
Lisa aka Surfer wrote:

Well done, Tom. You have a bigger heart than I, it was clear from
the very first reply from Betsy that she wasn't going to get the
point. Yet you still took the time. Man oh man you're doing well
these days!!!!

Lisa


Actually, Lisa, you and Tom are as emotionally abusiveslap


And what you gonna do about it?



**** off bitch


So, calling me a bitch is ok with the group? It's my fault for failing to
ignore him? Tell me why it isn't his fault.


  #45  
Old July 21st 03, 04:02 AM
Tiffany
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)


wrote in message
et...
Tiffany wrote:
wrote in message
news:[email protected]
Lisa aka Surfer wrote:

Well done, Tom. You have a bigger heart than I, it was clear from
the very first reply from Betsy that she wasn't going to get the
point. Yet you still took the time. Man oh man you're doing well
these days!!!!

Lisa

Actually, Lisa, you and Tom are as emotionally abusive to me on here
as always and I won't put up with it from you either. And I was
able to resolve things with Betsy as I apologized for my sarcasm and
she did get through to me in email. Because she did truly care for
me and my son's best interests. You never have. You have always
been catty and superior and very hurtful to me and I will not allow
you to continue to do that to me here.





L, you need to let go of this 'being abused online' stuff. No one can
hurt you unless you let them, online. Don't read their posts for god
sake.


Hey, don't take the responsibility off of Lisa and put it on me Tiffany.
Lisa has a very long history of being cruel to me in her posts to me. She
doesn't need to waste bandwidth targeting me when I am at my most

vulnerable
with hurtful remarks but she does it all the time. There is no difference
between if she said it to me online or in the mail or on the telephone or

to
my face, words hurt. Get in her face, not mine.



My point is don't read them. This is the internet and anyone can say what
they want. All we can do is not read it. OR if you do read it, take it with
a grain of salt. I really don't understand why you let the written words of
people you don't know and will never know hurt you. Take the useful posts
with you, let the unuseful ones go.


  #46  
Old July 21st 03, 04:09 AM
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)

Rolly The Pervert wrote:
wrote in message news:[email protected]
Actually, Lisa, you and Tom are as emotionally abusiveslap


And what you gonna do about it?



**** off bitch




Tom,

you are simply proving my point as what you just did is emotional abuse!

I thought you were in recovery?

And every techie knows that databasix is the last resort of the coward
usenet poster who needs to hide behind a terms of service agreement that
allows for anything goes. Better watch it though, there are still laws to
follow...



  #47  
Old July 21st 03, 04:10 AM
Tiffany
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)


wrote in message news:[email protected]
Rolly The Pervert wrote:
wrote in message
news:[email protected]
Lisa aka Surfer wrote:

Well done, Tom. You have a bigger heart than I, it was clear from
the very first reply from Betsy that she wasn't going to get the
point. Yet you still took the time. Man oh man you're doing well
these days!!!!

Lisa

Actually, Lisa, you and Tom are as emotionally abusiveslap


And what you gonna do about it?



**** off bitch


So, calling me a bitch is ok with the group? It's my fault for failing to
ignore him? Tell me why it isn't his fault.



Err... here we go again. To me, no name calling is ok but I can't control
what Roy types or what Paul types nor would I want to. There is no one to be
at fault here. You have name called also though, maybe not using b---- but
you called Paul a women abuser which is pretty harsh. More so then being a
bitch as most women confess to being a bitch. You are dealing with alot
right now.... why make it worse by dealing with negative posts?


  #48  
Old July 21st 03, 04:18 AM
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)

Tiffany wrote:
wrote in message


My point is don't read them. This is the internet and anyone can say
what they want. All we can do is not read it. OR if you do read it,
take it with a grain of salt. I really don't understand why you let
the written words of people you don't know and will never know hurt
you. Take the useful posts with you, let the unuseful ones go.


to tell you the truth, the sane part of me thought of that right after I hit
send, lol.

I sometimes have to speak out for my own mental health but after that I was
going back through and seeing how Dennis and Lisa ignored Tom's vicious
reply to my original message and how he even started a whole new thread that
was even more vicious but they replied to his one positive post and either
they are deeply in denial, co-conspirators with him in some unconscious way,
or they were just trying to accentuate the positive. I have more faith in
Dennis than in Lisa based on history but the bottom line is:

take the good, leave the bad.



  #49  
Old July 21st 03, 05:26 AM
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)

Tiffany wrote:

Err... here we go again. To me, no name calling is ok but I can't
control what Roy types or what Paul types nor would I want to. There
is no one to be at fault here. You have name called also though,
maybe not using b---- but you called Paul a women abuser which is
pretty harsh.


um, he IS a woman abuser, Paul Fritz abuses me here regularly, duh Tiffany.
More so then being a bitch as most women confess to
being a bitch.


So, I abuse Paul Fritz worse than he abuses me? ok, you can just stop
"helping" me now, thank you. I've had enough mind games for awhile.

You are dealing with alot right now.... why make it
worse by dealing with negative posts?


good point.



  #50  
Old July 21st 03, 01:02 PM
Paul Fritz
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)


"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

wrote in message

news:[email protected]
Rolly The Pervert wrote:
wrote in message
news:[email protected]
Lisa aka Surfer wrote:

Well done, Tom. You have a bigger heart than I, it was clear from
the very first reply from Betsy that she wasn't going to get the
point. Yet you still took the time. Man oh man you're doing well
these days!!!!

Lisa

Actually, Lisa, you and Tom are as emotionally abusiveslap

And what you gonna do about it?



**** off bitch


So, calling me a bitch is ok with the group? It's my fault for failing

to
ignore him? Tell me why it isn't his fault.



poor looney lorain, still can't grasp the concept of a unmoderated NG



Err... here we go again. To me, no name calling is ok but I can't control
what Roy types or what Paul types nor would I want to. There is no one to

be
at fault here. You have name called also though, maybe not using b---- but
you called Paul a women abuser which is pretty harsh.


Actually, that would just be a lie snicker

More so then being a
bitch as most women confess to being a bitch. You are dealing with alot
right now.... why make it worse by dealing with negative posts?


Maybe because she thrives on it.





 




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