Father issues

'Kate wrote in message ...
On Wed, 7 Apr 2004 14:31:03 -0400, "Tiffany"

I don't want her behavior to appear as self-hurting. The knuckle thing
she
didn't even realize came about from this clicking thing. Well, that is
what
she said. You are right though about the anxiety causing it. I have seen
folks that from stress and anxiety will itch and itch themselves until
they
are all scratched up. So, yes, I suppose it is self-harming.

To a much lesser degree than cutting or anorexia/bulimia, for sure.

I will work on just nurturing her until we get into the therapist. I am
just
trying like hell not to put my anger energies out there for her to feel.
She
hasn't gotten an email from him this week yet.

I think she might have to make a decision to stop contact for now until
she's able to deal with what is going on.


It looks as though he might have already stopped. Of course he may be busy
not working and all. She hasn't heard from him this past week and honestly
her arms look better. She did stop the finger thing but I think that was
more or less because she didn't realize what it was doing to her knuckles. I
will keep you updated. I am still going to seek a professional.

Tiff

"Joelle" wrote in message
...
Good for him...

Again I want to caution about getting to excited about this. An email
with a
sob story is not making amends. Alcholics and addicts often have a lot of
false starts. Don't let your daughter get her hopes up. Don' t you get
your
hopes up. Make him prove himself. If he's really working the program he
will
accept the distrust and skepticism of those he has hurt in the past and
work to
provie himself. Go ahead and encourage him, but dont' let him manipulate
and
guilt trip and I'd want to see a year of sobriety before I believed it.

Joelle
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St


I totally agree with you. I wish he would wait until he did have some time
under his belt before making empty promises. It is hard for me to say to her
don't get your hopes up without looking so negative about him but I have
told her that. She pretty much figured it out herself though. Kids sure
aren't dumb. He hasn't contact her this past week actually. He must be busy.
lol

Tiff