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  #21  
Old May 3rd 04, 12:16 AM
CME
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"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...


Things here have been ok. My daughter got pictures together (we only had a
few of the 2 of them) and we copied them and she made a poster of the pics
of her, her and him, his family, his dog, ect. It turned out pretty nice.
She is going to put it in the coffin.

She tells me she didn't want to go up there today because she knows when

she
gets there, everyone is going to 'freak out'. I said, yes, they will be

very
emotional and then you will become just as emotional and that is fine. But
she said, everyone thinks she should be so devastated but she isn't

because
she didn't know him that well. I said that is true and a legitament

feeling.
She said that I didn't seem upset, that I hadn't cried. I said, I am
different, I am not a big crier. But that is me, and she can cry all she
wants. She can scream and do anything and feel anything. It is hard for me
to tell her that I really don't feel much one way or the other. Anyone
losing their life is sad though. I feel for her and his family. When we
called up there to say we wouldn't be there until tomorrow, I think they
were upset. Oh well. I can't be concerned with everyone else, she comes
first.

So we are off early in the morning, the wake is at 3 then the funeral is
Monday morning.

Thanks again all for all the support.

Tiffany


My thoughts are with you and your daughter Tiff. Have a safe trip.

Christine


  #22  
Old May 3rd 04, 03:10 AM
quietguy
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Hi Kate

Well, I will try to contribute more, but only when I have something worthwhile
to contribute.


Seeing you have bet your 26 years of motherhood against my 20 years of social
work, I guess I will have to raise the pot with 40+ years of fatherhood. Can
you raise the betting? :-)

David - who is happy to see that Kate has so many defenders of her wisdom

'Kate wrote:



I wish this guy would contribute more than to critique my posts. I
doubt my nearly 26 years of motherhood have anything on his 20 years in
social work.

'Kate


  #23  
Old May 3rd 04, 03:16 AM
quietguy
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I do have trouble understanding what you mean by that sentence Kate

David

'Kate wrote:

On Sun, 02 May 2004 09:48:59 +1000, quietguy

Christine, it seems that while you are happy to attack me, (and that is OK) it
would be much more meaningfull if you showed somehow that you had at least read
my post in full.

As you will note in a post where I have responded to Kate, I believe the advice
she gave about sending a very young, confused, and distressed child to attend a
funeral by herself to be irresponsible and inapproriate.

And despite what you say, I didn't chuck her whole post, just the bit about
sending Sage off to funeral by herself


You have trouble with the word IF don't you?


  #24  
Old May 3rd 04, 03:19 AM
quietguy
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Paul, while I generally try not to be nasty, and never mind relevent criticism,
to I say get nicked. Go back and read some of the posts about this situation
before shooting of your silly little mouth/keyboard.

David

Paul Fritz wrote:

'Kate wrote in message
...
On Sun, 02 May 2004 09:48:59 +1000, quietguy

Christine, it seems that while you are happy to attack me, (and that is

OK) it
would be much more meaningfull if you showed somehow that you had at

least read
my post in full.

As you will note in a post where I have responded to Kate, I believe

the advice
she gave about sending a very young, confused, and distressed child to

attend a
funeral by herself to be irresponsible and inapproriate.

And despite what you say, I didn't chuck her whole post, just the bit

about
sending Sage off to funeral by herself


You have trouble with the word IF don't you?


You'd think that after 20+ years of 'social work' the guy wuold have
better reading comprehension than what he shows here. '13-14' yo is not
"very young', nor likely confused, and nowhere did anyone say attedninf by
herself. The only irresponsiblity is the self proclaimed social worker and
his ASSuming........



  #25  
Old May 3rd 04, 03:33 AM
quietguy
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Actually Kate, I think you do me a wrong here - as I said in a previous post I
thought the advice you gave was sound, except for the bit about sending the girl
to funeral alone.

The reason I did not write more was simply that I thought you covered the
situation quite well, and I really didn't have anything worthwhile to add.

I have no intention of being your personal cop - just wanted to point out that I
had grave concerns about ONE piece of advice you offered. I wasn't intending to
start WWIII, tho it seems that you and others in the group are intent on
developing a flame war.

Re your comment about risking "an anonymous post". I again think you do me an
unfair wrong - I do not post anonymously - apart from the spam avoider, which is
very clear to most people, my "from" address is real - test it if you wish.

David

'Kate wrote:


What gets me is he has knowledge and is so afraid of using it even in an
anonymous news group. If he *could* help, if he had the information and
the way to say it, he wouldn't. He'd rather be my personal cop. How can
one work in the field and not care enough to risk an anonymous post? I
may be opinionated or prideful or whatever else, but at least I've
always been willing to share my thoughts and feelings as a single
parent... I might even be of some service. shrug In any event, I'm
here and I'm trying to be helpful.

'Kate


  #26  
Old May 3rd 04, 04:39 AM
Joelle
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as I said in a previous post I
thought the advice you gave was sound, except for the bit about sending the
girl
to funeral alone.


If you have a different opinion why not just say "Well here's another POV, I
don't think she should go by herself" - why do you need to criticize Kate
because she has different advice than you do?

The whole idea of this ng is to get different opinions, and then people make up
their own minds. It does seem kind of weird that you seemed more interested in
going off on Kate for giving advice that you didn't agree with than giving the
OP your own advice.

Joelle
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle
  #27  
Old May 3rd 04, 05:21 AM
quietguy
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Joelle wrote:

as I said in a previous post I
thought the advice you gave was sound, except for the bit about sending the
girl
to funeral alone.


If you have a different opinion why not just say "Well here's another POV, I
don't think she should go by herself" - why do you need to criticize Kate
because she has different advice than you do?


Hi Joelle

Having read some of Kate's previous posts I (apparently incorrectly) assumed she
was professionally qualified - here in Oz you wouldn't be accepted into a
(legitimate) family therapy program without professional qualifications in
psychology or social work, or perhaps as an MD doing a psychiatry placement.
Hence being accepted into such a program indicated two things - first that it was
a University Based program or one run by a professional body (other programs take
anyone who is willing to pay) and second that she has had extensive experience as
a qualified therapist.

And while I never intimated that she was giving that advice as a professional
service, the nature of her advice was so contrary to good practice, and so out of
charactor to other advice of hers that I was rather dumbfounded. It just didn't
fit.


The whole idea of this ng is to get different opinions, and then people make up
their own minds.


It seems that this only applies to Kate though - when I expressed my opinion about
Kate's post I was attacked and criticised. And rather than dispute my views with
legitimate debate and discussion, the attacks were personal.

Now, I am old enough and ugly enough to deal with those sorts of attacks -
especially by boys like Paul who don't even bother to check their facts - but I
would much prefer to engage in rational debate.

I just trust all this garbage hasn't caused distress to Tiffany, who I believe has
made very wise decisions about handling the whole issue.

It does seem kind of weird that you seemed more interested in
going off on Kate for giving advice that you didn't agree with than giving the
OP your own advice.


As I have said in another post, I had nothing more to add to the discussion - as I
thought Kate had covered most of the issues very well.

regards
David





  #28  
Old May 3rd 04, 05:27 AM
Paul Fritz
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"quietguy" wrote in message
...
Paul, while I generally try not to be nasty, and never mind relevent

criticism,
to I say get nicked. Go back and read some of the posts about this

situation
before shooting of your silly little mouth/keyboard.


snicker ASSuming once again......let me guess...you worked for the
guvmint.......your attitude is sooooooooooooooooo typical.

BTW you are the one that totally missed the gist of the previous posts.

For "20+ years of self proclaimed social work......you are FOS.

Your 'ad hom' attack is duly noted as a lack of any real
rebuttal.........is that how you practiced your 'social work' as well

snicker



David

Paul Fritz wrote:

'Kate wrote in message
...
On Sun, 02 May 2004 09:48:59 +1000, quietguy

Christine, it seems that while you are happy to attack me, (and

that is
OK) it
would be much more meaningfull if you showed somehow that you had

at
least read
my post in full.

As you will note in a post where I have responded to Kate, I

believe
the advice
she gave about sending a very young, confused, and distressed

child to
attend a
funeral by herself to be irresponsible and inapproriate.

And despite what you say, I didn't chuck her whole post, just the

bit
about
sending Sage off to funeral by herself

You have trouble with the word IF don't you?


You'd think that after 20+ years of 'social work' the guy wuold

have
better reading comprehension than what he shows here. '13-14' yo is

not
"very young', nor likely confused, and nowhere did anyone say

attedninf by
herself. The only irresponsiblity is the self proclaimed social

worker and
his ASSuming........






  #29  
Old May 3rd 04, 05:47 AM
Paul Fritz
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Update of all updates


"quietguy" wrote in message
...


Joelle wrote:

as I said in a previous post I
thought the advice you gave was sound, except for the bit about

sending the
girl
to funeral alone.


If you have a different opinion why not just say "Well here's another

POV, I
don't think she should go by herself" - why do you need to criticize

Kate
because she has different advice than you do?


Hi Joelle

Having read some of Kate's previous posts I (apparently incorrectly)

assumed she
was professionally qualified - here in Oz you wouldn't be accepted into

a
(legitimate) family therapy program without professional qualifications

in
psychology or social work, or perhaps as an MD doing a psychiatry

placement.
Hence being accepted into such a program indicated two things - first

that it was
a University Based program or one run by a professional body (other

programs take
anyone who is willing to pay) and second that she has had extensive

experience as
a qualified therapist.

And while I never intimated that she was giving that advice as a

professional
service, the nature of her advice was so contrary to good practice, and

so out of
charactor to other advice of hers that I was rather dumbfounded. It

just didn't
fit.


The whole idea of this ng is to get different opinions, and then

people make up
their own minds.


It seems that this only applies to Kate though - when I expressed my

opinion about
Kate's post I was attacked and criticised. And rather than dispute my

views with
legitimate debate and discussion, the attacks were personal.


snicker better look in the mirror as to who is doing the personal
attacking.


Now, I am old enough and ugly enough to deal with those sorts of

attacks -
especially by boys like Paul who don't even bother to check their

facts - but I
would much prefer to engage in rational debate.


Nothing like wearing your hypocrisy on your sleeve.....what a mar00n


I just trust all this garbage hasn't caused distress to Tiffany, who I

believe has
made very wise decisions about handling the whole issue.


Garbage like you have strewn????


It does seem kind of weird that you seemed more interested in
going off on Kate for giving advice that you didn't agree with than

giving the
OP your own advice.


As I have said in another post, I had nothing more to add to the

discussion - as I
thought Kate had covered most of the issues very well.


Yet you keep posting.......hypocrite.


regards
David








  #30  
Old May 3rd 04, 01:51 PM
Joelle
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Posts: n/a
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Having read some of Kate's previous posts I (apparently incorrectly) assumed
she
was professionally qualified - here in Oz you wouldn't be accepted into a
(legitimate) family therapy program without professional qualifications in


Okay, this isn't Oz, and you don't have to be professionally qualified to give
advice, you say you understand that, but you don't seem to.

and then people make up
their own minds.



It seems that this only applies to Kate though - when I expressed my opinion
about
Kate's post I was attacked and criticised. And rather than dispute my views

with
legitimate debate and discussion, the attacks were personal.


Because YOU made it personal. Instead of simply disagreeing with her advice
you made it abotu Kate. Now you are unhappy because it turned personal? You
thought you could turn this to be about Kate and it wouldn't come back to bite
you on the butt?

You may be some great therapist and father, but just from how you handled
yourself here, you seem kind of clueless to me.

Joelle
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle
 




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