A rant, and Merry Christmas/Kwanza/Ramadan/Hanukkah/whatever... Happy holidays & New Year??

Whatever. Hope everyone's having a good time, regardless of what it is.
(I'm just sick of seeing, everywhere I turn, someone bitching and moaning
about whatever the season is to them or the next person, so a late season's
greetings to all)
Anyways... It's New Year's Day/night here now. Almost over, yay.
I guess we had a fairly busy Christmas, as usual, with the norm being my
grandma's for Christmas Eve, my aunt's Christmas day and parents' for Boxing
day, since that's my mom's birthday. Then on the 29th, it was Zack's bday,
and on the 31 of Jan, it's Bran's bday. He was so excited for Xmas, then my
mom's bday, and he can't wait for his birthday, which is next in line for
the family.
Surprisingly, Xmas was fairly uneventful. We got a new phone with an
answering machine, from my parents, since everyone was sick of me not
answering the phone since our phones are quite wonky, sometimes not ringing,
sometimes unheard when it did ring, volume of the receiver being so quiet
and under-water sounding, an answering machine that didn't work properly and
disconnected the phone on it's own when plugged in, a half an hour beep
before messages could be left since I never checked and deleted messages...
The problems go on, so my mom finally got angry and we got a phone/answering
machine. Did that make any sense?
So yes... This year, we got a real tree. Of course, as I've always had
growing up, it had to be a Douglas Fir (Charlie Brown tree) and
surprisingly, we only once came close to knocking it down, and that was when
B got up Xmas day and found out he got one of those Power Wheels Jeep from
Santa. He was so excited, somehow managed to switch the thing on and had it
in reverse, and when it went in reverse, it nearly knocked the tree out the
livingroom window.

I had found so many days around family to be so stressful for me... Normally
I tend to enjoy all the food and action, but this year I didn't. I actually
couldn't wait to get home from wherever we happened to be, and for me,
things were kind of awkward, although I know it was only me feeling that
way.
We have yet to tell anyone in my family that we're pregnant, and that,
actually, we had planned it since everything feels right, aside from a few
things... My hours at work have been cut down to like nothing, and I've been
looking for a new job. I'm calling a lady back on Tuesday when she's
supposed to be back from her holidays to show real interest in the job after
an interview I had the day before Xmas eve, and I'll still look until I can
find a job with normal hours. Norm's been working the same job since
October, and it seems to be going well. We're still well on our way to
getting all bills caught up, and by the end of this month, with his hours
and my lack-of, everything should be on track, and we should be able to
start saving. (I was in the many hundreds of dollars behind on all bills
until last month, when everything was caught up to the minimum payment)
But anyways, I always seem to be a nervous wreck around family and friends.
No one knows yet except for Norm's mom/brother/sister/nieces, the couple
nextdoor who are currently trying for a baby and started around the same
time we did and my closest girl friend/her family. I feel so guilty about
not telling my family, and well, everyone, I guess. We've only got almost
10 weeks under our belt, but really, I feel much bigger than I did the first
and second time, but I hear that's normal. At home and away from family, I
let it all hang out, and I'm sure it's kind of obvious, but around family, I
still suck in. I got a couple pairs of pants from parents for Xmas, and
they'd normally be perfect fit for me, but when I was told to try them on,
they were too tight, and it was too hard to suck in enough to pass them off
as a snug fit. I had to tell my mom I needed a bigger size, and when she
wanted to see how they fit, I sucked in enough for her to just say that the
next size would be perfect.
Arg... It's so frustrating, and I know I'm just carrying on and ranting
about it all, but I have no idea what I should or shouldn't do. We both
want to make a formal announcement soon, just to be able to share it all
with the whole family, on both sides, but I just don't think I can yet, but
I also don't know how much longer I can hide it all. I keep telling myself
the faster we get on track, financially and get all 'debts' paid off with
the bills, the faster I can tell my parents. I have no idea how they'd
react to it at that point, when money isn't a huge issue, but I definitely
fear their wrath right now when money's tight and hardly around when all the
over due bills and expenses are paid.
I've been stressing myself out way too much, I'm sure, yet I also think I
have good reason to be. I know this is all pretty much off topic and has
little to do with anything, but does anyone have any kind of suggestions or
feedback? Good or bad, positive or negative. I'm willing to take
everything into consideration on how I could drive myself less insane for
the next while.

--
A: Because it messes up the order in which people normally read text.
Q: Why is top-posting such a bad thing?
A: Top-posting.
Q: What is the most annoying thing on usenet?

"'Kate" wrote in message
...
On Sat, 1 Jan 2005 23:12:42 -0700, "xkatx"
wrote:

Whatever. Hope everyone's having a good time, regardless of what it is.
(I'm just sick of seeing, everywhere I turn, someone bitching and moaning
about whatever the season is to them or the next person, so a late
season's
greetings to all)

I totally agree. I think "Happy Holiday" should cover it.

Anyways... It's New Year's Day/night here now. Almost over, yay.
I guess we had a fairly busy Christmas, as usual, with the norm being my
grandma's for Christmas Eve, my aunt's Christmas day and parents' for
Boxing
day, since that's my mom's birthday. Then on the 29th, it was Zack's
bday,
and on the 31 of Jan, it's Bran's bday. He was so excited for Xmas, then
my
mom's bday, and he can't wait for his birthday, which is next in line for
the family.
Surprisingly, Xmas was fairly uneventful. We got a new phone with an
answering machine, from my parents, since everyone was sick of me not
answering the phone since our phones are quite wonky, sometimes not
ringing,
sometimes unheard when it did ring, volume of the receiver being so quiet
and under-water sounding, an answering machine that didn't work properly
and
disconnected the phone on it's own when plugged in, a half an hour beep
before messages could be left since I never checked and deleted
messages...
The problems go on, so my mom finally got angry and we got a
phone/answering
machine. Did that make any sense?

The phone's unreliable? hehehe

So yes... This year, we got a real tree. Of course, as I've always had
growing up, it had to be a Douglas Fir (Charlie Brown tree) and
surprisingly, we only once came close to knocking it down, and that was
when
B got up Xmas day and found out he got one of those Power Wheels Jeep from
Santa. He was so excited, somehow managed to switch the thing on and had
it
in reverse, and when it went in reverse, it nearly knocked the tree out
the
livingroom window.

Wow...the "Big S" was *real* nice to him. He must've been an extra
good boy.


snip

I've been stressing myself out way too much, I'm sure, yet I also think I
have good reason to be. I know this is all pretty much off topic and has
little to do with anything, but does anyone have any kind of suggestions
or
feedback? Good or bad, positive or negative. I'm willing to take
everything into consideration on how I could drive myself less insane for
the next while.

Kat, my first concern's always for the baby & children. They have no
control over us (the "supposed" adults). I think you're worrying too
much about your family reacting negatively... did they do that when
you became pregnant with B? You are so *very* entitled to be
thrilled about the baby, worried about everything being ok, and
hopeful about the future all at one time. That's pregnancy for ya.
:-) Sure, some may be shocked but some will also surprise you and
offer the support that you want and help to make this the happy
occasion that it is.

Thank you, I know. My family always seems to react negatively... I feel
I've given them enough reason, more in the past, to do so. I was booted out
of the house when I got myself pregnant with Bran, but they did offer
support in ways they could, and now everything is fine. I just really would
hate to just let them know, mainly my parents, and have them shut me, and B,
totally out of their lives. I would hate for them to look negatively, and
react negatively, and say that they want nothing to do with B getting hurt,
somehow or something, and shut the door. As sad as I know it is, I still
turn to my parents when I need to, and often only when I absolutely have
to...
In the summer, my dad gave me a car. He pays the insurance and all that for
it, and is even willing to cover any *major* maintenance or fixing... I'm
just responsible for fuel and small maintenance (oil, fluids, whatever) and
this has been such a help to me, and I appreciate it almost more than
anything. They're also my main babysitter, for the odd night once a month
or so that I want a night out for a movie or something, and my mom does
little things that I appreciate like take B on Saturdays. I work Saturdays,
but he's in Ukrainian dancing, which is Saturday mornings.
I'm also scared of them acting positively and being all excited and all
that... I honestly don't think I'd know how to react, since I do think it's
the opposite of what I'm expecting...

So.. back to how this ties in with the baby & your son... if you're
worried and upset, the stress reaction in your body will affect your
unborn child. Your behavior will affect the child you have. Tell
your parents & family. Whatever happens, it's better than maintaining
the stress you're putting yourself through. Besides that... sooner or
later.. they're gonna know. It's likely your mother already does.
Or... maybe you should just let'em read the group? LOL. Nah. Pop a
bottle of wine and toast to the new baby. I can see it now... "Oh...
I forgot.. .I'm not drinking... " Tell them. That's my advice.

I know. I can definitely tell, as well. Lately I've been so damn tired I'm
ready to pass out at 5pm and sleep until the morning. I find I can't sleep,
for what is probably obvious reasons, but I also, every time I go visit
parents or sometimes even talk to them over the phone, feel that they are
suspicious of everything. Maybe my mom does know... I don't know, but if
she did suspect anything, I have the feeling I'd never hear the end of it.
I was thinking of talking to one of my aunts... Either my dad's littlest sis
who lives long distance, or my mom's older sis who lives on the other side
of the city... The thought crossed my mind to talk to both, but when I've
tried to send IM's to my dad's sis, I get no response, even though the
messenger is on all day here, and now my mom's sis is in Cuba for 2 weeks,
which makes anything to do with her hard to do. This sucks. lol

I remember at Xmas, I'm often the one drinking my brains out... The baby
goes upstairs to sleep usually with my uncle who passes out after supper as
well, and then the fun begins, and after it's all done, we'd both hitch a
ride with parents to their place for Xmas day... This year, I drove, so when
offered a drink or even a glass of wine, I told them I couldn't drink...
Norm snapped his head over and looked at me wondering why I would have said
that, and then I looked at him as if he was both from Mars and stupid, and I
reminded him I was driving. No one really suspected a thing, I think.


I know I'll tell them... and soon, I hope, I just have no idea how I could
even start to go about the topic.

'Kate

--
A: Because it messes up the order in which people normally read text.
Q: Why is top-posting such a bad thing?
A: Top-posting.
Q: What is the most annoying thing on usenet?

"'Kate" wrote in message
...

Get advice from your aunts. It is scary but you're focusing on the
worst reactions that you could possibly get and not on the long term.
Practice saying it so that you don't have to think about it 'cause
you've said it so many times & can focus on your parent's reactions.
If you can't say it, send them a "we're expecting" card and wait for
the phone call. Nah, that'd be cold. I guess you could call from the
hospital when you have the baby...

:-)

Let us know how it goes xkatx.

'Kate


You think that was cold? My first reaction is, how bout breaking it to them
the same way that you did the first time you were pregnant. Or, if you
refined your approach the second time you were pregnant, try that one.
Three times lucky dolly.

My real opinion is that you should pull your socks up and let your parents
know as soon as possible. I think going to your aunt is inappropriate, she
is not your parent. You say that you and your current boyfriend are solid,
and that you planned this baby, then be forthright show your parents that
this is what you planned and are happy with your choice to become pregnant.

Lisa

"xkatx" wrote in message
...

"'Kate" wrote in message
...
On Sat, 1 Jan 2005 23:12:42 -0700, "xkatx"
wrote:

Whatever. Hope everyone's having a good time, regardless of what it is.
(I'm just sick of seeing, everywhere I turn, someone bitching and moaning
about whatever the season is to them or the next person, so a late
season's
greetings to all)

I totally agree. I think "Happy Holiday" should cover it.

Anyways... It's New Year's Day/night here now. Almost over, yay.
I guess we had a fairly busy Christmas, as usual, with the norm being my
grandma's for Christmas Eve, my aunt's Christmas day and parents' for
Boxing
day, since that's my mom's birthday. Then on the 29th, it was Zack's
bday,
and on the 31 of Jan, it's Bran's bday. He was so excited for Xmas, then
my
mom's bday, and he can't wait for his birthday, which is next in line for
the family.
Surprisingly, Xmas was fairly uneventful. We got a new phone with an
answering machine, from my parents, since everyone was sick of me not
answering the phone since our phones are quite wonky, sometimes not
ringing,
sometimes unheard when it did ring, volume of the receiver being so quiet
and under-water sounding, an answering machine that didn't work properly
and
disconnected the phone on it's own when plugged in, a half an hour beep
before messages could be left since I never checked and deleted
messages...
The problems go on, so my mom finally got angry and we got a
phone/answering
machine. Did that make any sense?

The phone's unreliable? hehehe

So yes... This year, we got a real tree. Of course, as I've always had
growing up, it had to be a Douglas Fir (Charlie Brown tree) and
surprisingly, we only once came close to knocking it down, and that was
when
B got up Xmas day and found out he got one of those Power Wheels Jeep
from
Santa. He was so excited, somehow managed to switch the thing on and had
it
in reverse, and when it went in reverse, it nearly knocked the tree out
the
livingroom window.

Wow...the "Big S" was *real* nice to him. He must've been an extra
good boy.


snip

I've been stressing myself out way too much, I'm sure, yet I also think I
have good reason to be. I know this is all pretty much off topic and has
little to do with anything, but does anyone have any kind of suggestions
or
feedback? Good or bad, positive or negative. I'm willing to take
everything into consideration on how I could drive myself less insane for
the next while.

Kat, my first concern's always for the baby & children. They have no
control over us (the "supposed" adults). I think you're worrying too
much about your family reacting negatively... did they do that when
you became pregnant with B? You are so *very* entitled to be
thrilled about the baby, worried about everything being ok, and
hopeful about the future all at one time. That's pregnancy for ya.
:-) Sure, some may be shocked but some will also surprise you and
offer the support that you want and help to make this the happy
occasion that it is.

Thank you, I know. My family always seems to react negatively... I feel
I've given them enough reason, more in the past, to do so. I was booted
out of the house when I got myself pregnant with Bran, but they did offer
support in ways they could, and now everything is fine. I just really
would hate to just let them know, mainly my parents, and have them shut
me, and B, totally out of their lives. I would hate for them to look
negatively, and react negatively, and say that they want nothing to do
with B getting hurt, somehow or something, and shut the door. As sad as I
know it is, I still turn to my parents when I need to, and often only when
I absolutely have to...
In the summer, my dad gave me a car. He pays the insurance and all that
for it, and is even willing to cover any *major* maintenance or fixing...
I'm just responsible for fuel and small maintenance (oil, fluids,
whatever) and this has been such a help to me, and I appreciate it almost
more than anything. They're also my main babysitter, for the odd night
once a month or so that I want a night out for a movie or something, and
my mom does little things that I appreciate like take B on Saturdays. I
work Saturdays, but he's in Ukrainian dancing, which is Saturday mornings.
I'm also scared of them acting positively and being all excited and all
that... I honestly don't think I'd know how to react, since I do think
it's the opposite of what I'm expecting...

So.. back to how this ties in with the baby & your son... if you're
worried and upset, the stress reaction in your body will affect your
unborn child. Your behavior will affect the child you have. Tell
your parents & family. Whatever happens, it's better than maintaining
the stress you're putting yourself through. Besides that... sooner or
later.. they're gonna know. It's likely your mother already does.
Or... maybe you should just let'em read the group? LOL. Nah. Pop a
bottle of wine and toast to the new baby. I can see it now... "Oh...
I forgot.. .I'm not drinking... " Tell them. That's my advice.

I know. I can definitely tell, as well. Lately I've been so damn tired
I'm ready to pass out at 5pm and sleep until the morning. I find I can't
sleep, for what is probably obvious reasons, but I also, every time I go
visit parents or sometimes even talk to them over the phone, feel that
they are suspicious of everything. Maybe my mom does know... I don't
know, but if she did suspect anything, I have the feeling I'd never hear
the end of it. I was thinking of talking to one of my aunts... Either my
dad's littlest sis who lives long distance, or my mom's older sis who
lives on the other side of the city... The thought crossed my mind to talk
to both, but when I've tried to send IM's to my dad's sis, I get no
response, even though the messenger is on all day here, and now my mom's
sis is in Cuba for 2 weeks, which makes anything to do with her hard to
do. This sucks. lol

I remember at Xmas, I'm often the one drinking my brains out... The baby
goes upstairs to sleep usually with my uncle who passes out after supper
as well, and then the fun begins, and after it's all done, we'd both hitch
a ride with parents to their place for Xmas day... This year, I drove, so
when offered a drink or even a glass of wine, I told them I couldn't
drink... Norm snapped his head over and looked at me wondering why I would
have said that, and then I looked at him as if he was both from Mars and
stupid, and I reminded him I was driving. No one really suspected a
thing, I think.

I know I'll tell them... and soon, I hope, I just have no idea how I could
even start to go about the topic.

'Kate



REfresh my memory as I haven't had time to read and read long posts
lately....... how long have you been with this man you are now pregnant too?
If I recall it isn't a long time. That could be why you worry to tell your
parents because yes, they might be upset. Besides the fact they help you out
tremendously, now they are going to have another child to baby-sit and help
with?????? Your concern is totally on if that is the case then. Tell them
and get it over with.... no matter how long you wait, there will be
reaction.

T

"Tiffany" wrote in message ...

"xkatx" wrote in message ...

snip because it was long

I know I'll tell them... and soon, I hope, I just have no idea how I
could even start to go about the topic.

'Kate



REfresh my memory as I haven't had time to read and read long posts
lately....... how long have you been with this man you are now pregnant
too? If I recall it isn't a long time. That could be why you worry to tell
your parents because yes, they might be upset. Besides the fact they help
you out tremendously, now they are going to have another child to baby-sit
and help with?????? Your concern is totally on if that is the case then.
Tell them and get it over with.... no matter how long you wait, there will
be reaction.

T

Well, it really isn't that long. Since the beginning of the summer.
As usual, I spent a good part of the night tossing and turning and drifting
in and out of restless sleep. That's the trend it's been for a while now,
but last night I layed in bed thinking. I thought I have been somewhat
foolish the last little while. My parents love this guy. My dad actually
gets along with him so well, which, really, is a damn good thing. Most of
my guy friends love my dad because he acts like a kid when it comes to
things that the general population of my friends like. (My dad and his
music, the arcade he has set up upstairs at his shop, movies and so on.) He
tends to find a lot in common with my friends, but when it's come to
boyfriends, in the past, my dad has seemed to be somewhat hesitant, I guess,
if he feels he has reason to be. My boyfriend and dad seem to have a lot in
common.

Also, for the record, the only things my parents have really helped out with
is daycare, which my mom writes 6 post-dated cheques for since that's what
the dayhome agency requires and I don't write cheques, and I do pay my mom
in full before the first of the month, when normally childcare payments are
to be made. Also, the car, which is really my dad's car, and to put me
under their insurance with a car they have had insured for about 5 years now
was not anything I had asked for, expected, demanded, was not much more
money or skin off their backs. I also kind of think that this is just a
small way they can still have a bit of pull when it comes down to it, since
the reason I was given this car was mainly for work and all that, since
buses tend to hate the location of my dayhome as well as job hours and
location. Getting to work every day would take around 2 hours (with daycare
stop) and buses around here are pretty shotty on Sundays, and I work Sat and
Sun every week.

And... I have never ever relied on my parents to babysit. Just so you know,
if I have had something planned and it's somewhat important, as maybe a
friend's birthday or something that is important enough to know about it a
couple weeks in advance, if I ask my parents, they're usually able to
babysit for a few hours in an evening. If I call and make last second
plans, or day before plans to go out to a movie or something, and they're
not available, that's too bad for me. It's always been like that, and I
really don't mind. Like all parents, I do feel that I should have a free
evening off every now and then, since I really do think it's good to just
get away. I'm sure some will agree that it's nice to just go and not have
to worry about the kids for the evening. I have never once stranded my
parents and not picked up when I say I would, and the only time he's ever
spent the night over is when my mom asks if they can keep him over night.
Never once have I ever expected my parents to make themselves free, cancel
their plans or shift their days or evenings around to accommodate me.
Saturdays, I might have mentioned before, are days that my mom wants. She
enjoys taking him to his dance class and then in the afternoon often goes
out to visit her friend who has a son half a year older. I work anyways.
Saves my child care provider her weekends and gives my son time to be alone
with his grandma and do something I hope he can one day appreciate as his
time with grandma. It's honestly a rare occasion that I actually get to go
out, and just as rare that I actually want to go out. I kind of prefer to
stay in the weekends (especially since I work Saturday morning) and take it
easy, rather then go out all night long.

It's (Ukrainian) Christmas tomorrow, so we are going to have a small dinner,
and I'm thinking I might bring it up then when it's just a small part of the
family (parents, brothers, grandma) and just go from there. I feel in the
long run they'll be happy, and even if they start out somewhat upset, I know
Norm will stand by me no matter what, as I will for him, in the end, I know
they'll be as excited as we are. I've just been putting it off for silly
reasons.

But, thank you, Tiffany, you kind of angered me enough to think about it and
make a decision. Thank you!