Introducing your newborn baby to your dog

Introducing your dog to your newborn

If your dog has a pulse, then he or she has a very wide spectrum of
emotions. So it stands to reason there are plenty of reasons to be
nervous about an introduction of your newborn and your dog. After all,
this is the ultimate mix of jealousy, post partum exhaustion,
liftestyle change, nervousness (on your part), and so on.


While I'm no authority on this subject, I can say that I've gone
through it with pretty good success across the board --- the 'board'
being our trinity of Rhodesian Ridgebacks, all of whom have very
different personalities. For what it's worth, here's how we made for a
happy and smooth transition from being without kids to bringing our
first
child into the family.


********


The process starts *months* before the baby's birth. Here are some
pre-birth measures to consider :


* Rather than bombard your dog with new baby stuff (furniture,
contraptions, lotions, clothes, swings, seats, strollers, etc.) when
the baby comes home, it's best to introduce the baby-related things to
your dog before the baby's birth. "Trick" your dog into thinking that
the stuff has nothing to do with the baby. After all, how can you dog
make the connection between the baby and its stuff when the baby isn't
in the picture yet? Take all the baby stuff and just place it around
the house. Especially in the high traffic areas like living rooms,
family rooms, kitchens, and so on. Let it just sit there for a couple
weeks.


* Invite friends with infants to visit your house. Reward your dog with

praise (and treats) when he shows *gentle* concern for the baby.
Encourage him to become "light-footed" and to hold back his exuberance
if he's inclined to throw himself around when he gets excited.


* Buy a doll and talk to it so that dog understands that this universe
allows for the possibility that you might talk to and care for another
being, other than just him.


* Use baby lotion on yourself to accustom the dog to the baby's smell.


* If your dog is allowed up on the bed, you'll want to give some
thought to how this will work when baby comes home. If you have a large

breed dog and he's allowed on your bed, the baby (who presumably will
be on the bed with mom for nursing, etc.) is at some risk. Is now the
time to wean the dog off the bed (or, better yet, to learn the limited
conditions under which being on the bed is okay)? I'm not a big
proponent of taking dogs' "rights" away from them, but this is one
circumstance that may merit an exception. The key is to do it weeks
before the baby comes home so that the dog doesn't resent the baby.


* Test the waters with other infants *in public* (and under controlled
conditions); reward gentle behavior with treats and praise. Do yourself

and your dog the favor of being selective, though. If you introduce
your dogs to toddlers whose coordination isn't keen yet, it could
quickly tun into a slap-and-pull fest in which the dog learns to
dislike little people.


* The day before the baby comes home, have the dog smell a hat / towel
that was on the baby (bring it home in a plastic ziploc bag). This will

prepare the dog for the baby's actual presence. Repeat the name of the
baby over and over in a soothing way as the dog takes in deep scents.


***********


The big day :


* On the big day, have mom walk in without baby (the dog will miss her
and possibly be too excited for her to hold the baby safely). Dad comes
in a couple
minutes later with the new family member.


* The most crucial part : how you react to the mingling. If you behave
in a panicked way and push the dog away from the baby, there's the
potential for the dog making an immediate association that something is

very much alive, very much real, and too good for the dog to be
involved with. Instead, stroke the dog and coo gently with praise as
the dog "checks in with" the baby. Let the dog know that it has a job
(i.e. to take care of the baby by checking in frequently, showing
concern and love). Doing otherwise could be the beginning of big
problems. No licking on the face, but the top of the head and the rest
of the body is fine.


* The first few days of the newborn's life might seem like the least
likely time for you to take the dog down the street for a walk, but it
is super-important that you erase all possibility that the dog make the

association of the baby's arrival with a degree of compromised
attention. It might not be a long walk, but it *needs* to happen and it

needs to be genuine and intimate (as does your other interaction during

the day). These walks need to be consistent for the first several days.

I realize that this is the least convenient time in the world, but
think of it this way : if you don't pay now, you just might pay later.
Trust me, it's worth it. It goes without saying that this is a daddy
job, not a mommy job.


* In the long run, what you're looking for isn't unbridled love,
exuberance, and loads of unabated enthusiasm from the dog. This would
be an unrealistic expectation --- not to mention dangerous for the
baby. Instead, you are looking for anything within the spectrum of
indifference and concern for the baby's welfare. (The dog should be
given the option of showing no particular attachment. That can be
developed later).


************


One last word on "quality time". It wasn't until 8 or 9 days after my
first baby's birth that I realized an odd thing. Whereas before the
birth, I would never go by one of my dogs without making an intentional

step in their direction and being lovey-dovey with them (even if just
for a few seconds), I caught myself passing them as if they were
invisible after the birth. I would step over them to get where I was
going, or just walk around them. As insignificant as that may seem, I
think it triggered a concern on their part that I was still willing to
walk them, be with them, etc., but that my attention was no longer of a

very high quality. Don't let this happen to you and your dogs! Your dog

needs your time, but he's smart enough to know where your heart really
lies. Think back on all the times when your dog has made you feel more
complete, more assured about life, etc. The least you can do at this
stage is to let the dog know that his quality of life will remain high
and constant. And if that isn't enough motivation to do the right
thing, get out a box of tissues and read this :
http://www.crean.com/jimwillis/how-could-you.pdf


It's all a lot of work, but the harmony and love that your baby and
dogs will share makes the whole process pay for itself quickly.


Hany Hosny
August 2006


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