If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. |
|
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
#1
|
|||
|
|||
can someone give me some advice?
hi...my name is krystle i'm 15..and i think i might be pregnant. I don't
want to be, but i have to be resposible for my actions..my period is late and i don't know what i should do..i can't go to the doctor cuz i have no way of getting up there..and i don't want to tell my mom cuz she'll prolly call the cops on the dude that probably got me pregnant. she knows we've done it already cuz she went through my backpack without my consaultence and looked at my journal, and read everything.. it makes me mad because she doesn't respect the fact that i'm a teenager and i need privacy too..but she's my mom and understand why she did that, but if she finds out that me and this dude did it again lol...then she's goin to get very upset...and i don't want that to happen..if i am pregnant ...i don't know what i'm going to do..i feel so out of place right now..i feel like dropping in a whole and living there for the rest of my life...but can someone just help me through this ..i really need someone to talk to about this.. Krystle |
#2
|
|||
|
|||
can someone give me some advice?
"Krystle N" wrote in message ... hi...my name is krystle i'm 15..and i think i might be pregnant. I don't want to be, but i have to be resposible for my actions..my period is late and i don't know what i should do..i can't go to the doctor cuz i have no way of getting up there..and i don't want to tell my mom cuz she'll prolly call the cops on the dude that probably got me pregnant. she knows we've done it already cuz she went through my backpack without my consaultence and looked at my journal, and read everything.. it makes me mad because she doesn't respect the fact that i'm a teenager and i need privacy too..but she's my mom and understand why she did that, but if she finds out that me and this dude did it again lol...then she's goin to get very upset...and i don't want that to happen..if i am pregnant ...i don't know what i'm going to do..i feel so out of place right now..i feel like dropping in a whole and living there for the rest of my life...but can someone just help me through this ..i really need someone to talk to about this.. Krystle Hey Krystle. Well if your period is late the drug store pregnancy tests (you pee on a stick, usually) will be accurate. My advice is to live a healthy lifestyle so you have no regrets, and take the test. If it's negative (and sometimes stress or fear of pregnancy can delay a period) -- insist on using condoms all the time if you are going to continue having sex. I think you also need to give your mom some credit, that it was appropriate in this instance to invade your privacy. She is trying to protect you from the very thing you currently fear (being pregnant so young). If you are pregnant, find a midwife and call her. She'll spend time with you on the phone so you can decide what kind of prenatal care you want before the baby is born and maybe advise you on anything you're doing right now that might not be good for the baby. An obstetrician might call you back too, but a midwife is more likely to have more time. If you don't know how to do this, and you don't want to involve your mom or an older friend or relative or family doctor, post your location on this board and we'll find you a number. You should really tell your mom. She loves you in a very essential way. -- Dagny |
#3
|
|||
|
|||
can someone give me some advice?
"Krystle N" wrote in message ... hi...my name is krystle i'm 15..and i think i might be pregnant. Oh dear. I don't want to be, but i have to be resposible for my actions This is a wonderful attitude, Krystle. Taking responsibility for what you do is very adult. ..my period is late and i don't know what i should do..i can't go to the doctor cuz i have no way of getting up there Ok, first things first. How late are you? if you are more than a couple of days late, go to the drug store/chemist (I don't know what country you live in) and get a pregnancy test. That's the first thing to do. Etiher way, though, pregnant or not, if your periods have stopped, you are going to have to see a doctor about it. ...and i don't want to tell my mom cuz she'll prolly call the cops on the dude that probably got me pregnant. Not to be unsympathetic, here, but in the states, in a lot of areas, sex with a fifteen year old *is* a crime. she knows we've done it already cuz she went through my backpack without my consaultence and looked at my journal, and read everything.. it makes me mad because she doesn't respect the fact that i'm a teenager and i need privacy too.. As my mom told me growing up, "If you want privacy, get a job and get your own apartment. While you're under our roof, you don't get privacy" I didn't like that much, either, but, like you, I kind of understood where she was coming from. You sound very adult. but she's my mom and understand why she did that, but if she finds out that me and this dude did it again lol...then she's goin to get very upset...and i don't want that to happen. Well, here's a reality check for you. If you're indeed pregnant, you're in a bind, and you are going to have to make some very adult, very serious decisions about where your life is going to go. Yes, your decisions are going to upset people, but that is what it is. Evidently you decided to have sex. And you decided to have sex without using adequate protection. Now you have to decide whether to have a baby and raise it, have a baby and give it up for adoption, or abort the pregnancy. These are really serious outcomes that arose from your original decisions about sex and protection. Worrying about your mom being mad at you is understandable, but not really the most important thing you're handling right now, you know? (BTW I'm assuming that you are not in any physical danger from your mom, just that she will be furious and disappointed in you. If I'm making a mistaken assumption and you feel that you ARE in some kind of physical danger, then obviously disregard what I'm about to advise.) Your mother loves you. If you are pregnant, you need to tell her, and ask for help. If you aren't pregnant, you still need to tell her that your periods have stopped. Yes, she may be disappointed in you. Yes, she may be angry. Yes, she may have your boyfriend arrested, if indeed he committed the crime of statutory rape. But she's your mother, and ultimately, she is going to help you. She loves you. If you can't do that, there must be a public health office that can help you, confidentially. Where are you located (country)? .if i am pregnant ...i don't know what i'm going to do..i feel so out of place right now..i feel like dropping in a whole and living there for the rest of my life...but can someone just help me through this ..i really need someone to talk to about this.. It's ok to feel what you are feeling. Fear, anger, fright.... but you need to take action, too. You made some adult decisions awhile ago. Now you have to be adult enough deal with the consequences, and figure out what *you* want to do, and how best to manage this. One of your options, termination, has a time limit. So you need to make sure that you have taken some steps to decide what you want to do before your options start disappearing. The first step is to find out if, indeed, you are pregnant. Hang in there. And keep in mind that this doesn't make you a bad person. An unlucky one, maybe. A careless one, definitely. But not a bad person. This is scary, but this isn't the end of the world. You can get through this. Donna |
#4
|
|||
|
|||
can someone give me some advice?
look donna i know ur trying to help me but calling me careless and that
other word you used..thats not helping me..i know i made the mistake of having sex..and we did use protection...i told him to take it off because it was burning...i come to find out i'm alergic to it..it may sound stupid but i am..and i'm only human...yall may say tell ur mom that u might be pregnant..but if yall were here..yall'd understand...every day she comes home from work she yells at me..i don't ever do anything wrong..as soon as she walks through the door she yells at me for no reason..my mom has an anger disorder...she gets mad at the littlest things..i have a pregnancy test already i'm just affraid to take it because i'm affraid that i might be pregnant..i know what i need to do...thanks for yalls help it's been really nice for yall to help me..it's just that i don't know why yall are putting me down..the guy i had sex with is 17 ...he's my ex-boyfriend..and i don't really want to be with him..and yall are probably goin to ask me why did i have sex with him...the reason is..if i didn't...he wouldn't have left me alone..i tell him to quit doing things...for an example..we were standing in the lunchline yesturday at school...he kept pokin me and i told him to quit ...and he wouldn't stop ..i kept telling to quit and kept telling him to quit...and he just wouldn't quit... i know i should go to the police station and have a restraining order put on him...but if i'm pregnant..who would be the father of my child?...see yall need to ask me these questions b4 you know what to say to me...i'm not saying that yall shouldn't have said anything..it's just that when i talk to people..all they do is put me down..no matter what situation it is..they always put me down..and i'm tired of it so i'm sorry for what i just said but i can't see how people can put other people down for mistakes they did..we're all human and we're all from the house of God, and we all make mistakes..so if i seem like a bad person to yall...let me just say this..i'm not a bad person i would die for anybody..i would help people through things no matter what the circumstances are..i would walk through fire so no one can feel the pain...i would do a lot for my friends and family...just so they wouldn't feel any sadness..or pain...like i'm goin through now..so if you don't appreciate that i'm comming out and telling people that i might be pregnant and if u have some rude comment to say to me..then just don't tell me anything ..don't say anything to me cuz all i want is help..i just need a woman or whoever to talk to...i can't talk to my mom cuz like i said i can't even breathe and she's jumpin down my throat...sorry this is so long but i'm tired of the way people treat me..it's awful i've been goin through it my whole life..one of my brothers used to abuse me..and i hated the fact that my dad didn't do anything about it..so thats why i moved in with my mom..just so i could get away from the pain that they caused me..i'm sorry that some of yall disapprove of this but all i wanted was some advice on how to get through this...not about what i did to get this way... i'm sorry if u feel that way... Krystle |
#5
|
|||
|
|||
can someone give me some advice?
Krystal,
No one said anything rude or anything that you be construed as putting you down. Every post I read spoke to you in an adult manner -- straight forward and to the point. No one called you any names, or said you were immature. No one called into question your sexual behavior or maturity, except to compliment you on your post on your mature attitude about this possible pregnancy. That all being said, I think you are obviously immature if you can't handle an open and honest discussion. You can't come to a newsgroup and give little or no information, and then get mad that people don't know your whole story. How would we know that your mother has an anger issue, or that your ex-boyfriend is 17 and apparently an ass? If he is harassing you, then sleeping with him is a great way to let him know that it isn't acceptable behavior (please note the utter sarcasm). We only know what you tell us. And the one posted who suggested you tell your mom, did say that advice did not hold true if you feared for your safety. In a way, all of your other life issues are irrelevant -- first of all, you either are pregnant or your not. So first you need to test and find out. Secondly, if pregnant, you have three choices -- abort, raise this child, or place this child for adoption. Now your life issues may well help you decide which of these choices would be the best one for you and your child. Your mother will be angry with you if you are pregnant, but that's understandable, isn't it? But this is a major issue that you'll need adult help with, so you really should come clean with your mother, if you are pregnant, and let her help you figure out what the best plan of action is. -- Jamie & Taylor Earth Angel, 1/3/03 Check out Taylor Marlys -- www.MyFamily.com, User ID: Clark_guest, Password: Guest Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up your own User ID and Password Handmade Baby Blankets -- www.geocities.com/digit_the_cat/Blankets.html |
#6
|
|||
|
|||
can someone give me some advice?
Hey everyone, just wanted to let you'll know, I was pretty surprised
with all the positive remarks can also remember when i was 15, i would take great offense to someone saying that i was careless. I just want us to remember that even though she seems mature she still is a 15 year old girl....She's not going to take everything the same way we would... Just putting my 2 cents in.....don't mean to offended *anyone* AnneMarie Krystle N wrote: hi...my name is krystle i'm 15..and i think i might be pregnant. I don't want to be, but i have to be resposible for my actions..my period is late and i don't know what i should do..i can't go to the doctor cuz i have no way of getting up there..and i don't want to tell my mom cuz she'll prolly call the cops on the dude that probably got me pregnant. she knows we've done it already cuz she went through my backpack without my consaultence and looked at my journal, and read everything.. it makes me mad because she doesn't respect the fact that i'm a teenager and i need privacy too..but she's my mom and understand why she did that, but if she finds out that me and this dude did it again lol...then she's goin to get very upset...and i don't want that to happen..if i am pregnant ...i don't know what i'm going to do..i feel so out of place right now..i feel like dropping in a whole and living there for the rest of my life...but can someone just help me through this ..i really need someone to talk to about this.. Krystle |
#7
|
|||
|
|||
can someone give me some advice?
thank you ann...i just wanted to let donna know that i'm not careless
and what everyone else said about me was pretty rude...i wasn't trying to be rude when i wrote that post thing...i'm just letting donna know that i'm just a teenager and all i wanted was some help..she didn't have to call me the things she did..and i'm sorry that yall thought different..so if it's all gravy with yall ...i'll leave..i just don't like being called names ...it's been that way my whole life...but who cares about my life right?...so whatever yall think about me ..thats fine..i just wanted someone to be nice to me and at least give me some support ... |
#8
|
|||
|
|||
can someone give me some advice?
Krystle N wrote:
thank you ann...i just wanted to let donna know that i'm not careless and what everyone else said about me was pretty rude...i wasn't trying to be rude when i wrote that post thing...i'm just letting donna know that i'm just a teenager and all i wanted was some help..she didn't have to call me the things she did..and i'm sorry that yall thought different..so if it's all gravy with yall ...i'll leave..i just don't like being called names ...it's been that way my whole life...but who cares about my life right?...so whatever yall think about me ..thats fine..i just wanted someone to be nice to me and at least give me some support ... Well, you were careless, right? So was your BF, but you will have to live with the consequences at this point, and if you cannot acknowledge that you're partially to blame, that is not going to be a big help. I am sure you'll encounter much harsher comments from the outside world than you have heard here, and you'd better prepare. You did receive some wonderful support here, but turned it right back down again, just because one person used a word you didn't like. People even offered to help you find proper prenatal care. Either you should have been more clear in stating what you want, or accept that other people do not always see things your way. From your post and replies I get the impression that if I'm not your friend, I'm automatically your enemy. Noone here has judged you as a person, just your behaviour. I've made mistakes in my life, I know that's sometimes hard to admit, but using that as an excuse to turn down help is just outright stupid. By coming here you have shown you are not stupid and want to take responsibility, so you'd better start doing that soon. -- --I. |
#9
|
|||
|
|||
can someone give me some advice?
"Krystle N" wrote in message ... look donna i know ur trying to help me but calling me careless and that other word you used. What other word did I use that is upsetting you so much? I have re-read my post a bunch of times trying to figure out why you think I am insulting you. I still don't see it. I know that tone is hard to judge in written context, but no where, that I can see, did I insult you. How have I hurt your feelings so badly? ..thats not helping me..i know i made the mistake of having sex..and we did use protection...i told him to take it off because it was burning...i come to find out i'm alergic to it..it may sound stupid but i am..and i'm only human.. Right, but then why did you not try another method of contraception? I haven't totally forgotten what it is like to be a teenager, but I do recall that having sex without protection is kind of a careless attitude. That's not insulting, Krystle, that's a description. We're all careless at times - everyone who has been ticketed for accidentally driving over the speed limit is guilty of being careless. It's not a character flaw for heaven's sake. .yall may say tell ur mom that u might be pregnant..but if yall were here..yall'd understand...every day she comes home from work she yells at me..i don't ever do anything wrong..as soon as she walks through the door she yells at me for no reason..my mom has an anger disorder...she gets mad at the littlest things. I believe that I, and others, mentioned that the advice to speak to your mother would not be useful to you if you fear for your safety. Krystle, people, myself included, have put a lot of effort into responding to your post thoughtfully, non-judgementally, and with an adult-to adult tone, because you are in a difficult, adult situation. If all you wanted to hear was "Poor poor kid, How awful for you" the code is to ask for support, not advice. It's kind of like when someone posts that something is a rant - that kind of means that they're reacting emotionally to a situation, rather than looking for discourse and information. .i have a pregnancy test already i'm just affraid to take it because i'm affraid that i might be pregnant..i know what i need to do...thanks for yalls help it's been really nice for yall to help me..it's just that i don't know why yall are putting me down. Who has put you down? Every post that has propagated on my system has been very neutral in tone. And every post has given you excellent advice. I really don't understand your perspective here. .the guy i had sex with is 17 ...he's my ex-boyfriend..and i don't really want to be with him..and yall are probably goin to ask me why did i have sex with him...the reason is..if i didn't...he wouldn't have left me alone..i tell him to quit doing things...for an example..we were standing in the lunchline yesturday at school...he kept pokin me and i told him to quit ...and he wouldn't stop ..i kept telling to quit and kept telling him to quit...and he just wouldn't quit... i know i should go to the police station and have a restraining order put on him. .... so the alternative is to have sex with him? I totally don't understand your thought processes here. What I am picking up loud and clear is that you are having a little trouble acknowledging that you have any responsibility for the mess you find yourself in. ..but if i'm pregnant..who would be the father of my child?...see yall need to ask me these questions b4 you know what to say to me. Wrong. You need to provide the information you wish to have evaluated when you post. This is an newsgroup, not an encounter session. Had you mentioned these things in your post, you may have gotten different responses. Donna |
#10
|
|||
|
|||
can someone give me some advice?
Jamie Clark wrote:
Krystal, No one said anything rude or anything that you be construed as putting you down. Every post I read spoke to you in an adult manner -- straight forward Krystal is being very sensitive, and I can completely understand why. I know where she's coming from, not because of the pregnancy thing, but because of the dysfunctional family thing. The way to talk to someone who is sensitive like this is to *not* try to tell them anything about their behaviour. They already know, and don't need to be told. They would not be asking for help if they didn't already know that they had made a mistake somewhere. My 2 cents. |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
Nedd Advice PLEASE!!!!!!! | anna | General (moderated) | 3 | March 22nd 04 01:49 PM |
Advice Please (x-posted) | toto | General | 26 | March 20th 04 04:47 PM |
Advice Please (x-posted) | toto | General | 2 | March 8th 04 05:49 PM |
Advice Please (x-posted) | toto | General (moderated) | 2 | March 8th 04 05:49 PM |
Review: Something's Gotta Give (***) | Steve Rhodes | General | 0 | December 12th 03 10:56 PM |