Preparing a toddler for a wedding?

My brother is getting married this summer, and my SIL to be has decided she
wants my 2 yr old DD to be the flower girl. DD's enjoyed shopping for her
"princess dress" and looking at the dresses at the bridal store, so I'm at
least somewhat positive, but I'm not sure what I should be doing to prepare
a fairly young 2 yr old to be in a wedding. The only wedding she's seen on
video is one on a Care Bear DVD-and since Professor Cold Heart tried to use
it to take over Care-a-lot, I'm not sure it's a good example.

Does anyone have any ideas or any books or DVDs we can go through with her
to help get her ready? And does anyone have any suggestions for toddler
wrangling during a wedding? We expect that DH will probably need to escort
her down the aisle, and that we may need to exit stage left if she gets
ancy, because we don't want her spoiling the event, but anything beyond
that? And, no, telling SILTB that she can't have what she wants probably
isn't a good idea-she's a bit of a bridezilla at this point.

Thanks in advance

Donna Metler wrote:
My brother is getting married this summer, and my SIL to be has decided she
wants my 2 yr old DD to be the flower girl. DD's enjoyed shopping for her
"princess dress" and looking at the dresses at the bridal store, so I'm at
least somewhat positive, but I'm not sure what I should be doing to prepare
a fairly young 2 yr old to be in a wedding. The only wedding she's seen on
video is one on a Care Bear DVD-and since Professor Cold Heart tried to use
it to take over Care-a-lot, I'm not sure it's a good example.

Does anyone have any ideas or any books or DVDs we can go through with her
to help get her ready? And does anyone have any suggestions for toddler
wrangling during a wedding? We expect that DH will probably need to escort
her down the aisle, and that we may need to exit stage left if she gets
ancy, because we don't want her spoiling the event, but anything beyond
that? And, no, telling SILTB that she can't have what she wants probably
isn't a good idea-she's a bit of a bridezilla at this point.

You must explain to your SIL that you will do your
best, but 2yos are always a gamble in a wedding. She may or
may not go down the aisle, and your SIL has to live with that.
Explain to her exactly what plans A, B, C, etc. are. For
example, if she's doing well, she'll go down the aisle herself.
You'll do everything you can to make sure she's doing well
(well fed, well rested, potty break beforehand, practice
ahead of time, etc.). If she balks, Daddy will walk with
her. If she's throwing a hissy fit, she won't go down the
aisle at all and your SIL will have to be glad you spared
her that spectacle at her wedding.

Other tips:
- Don't have her stand up with the attendants throughout
the wedding. Have her sit with Daddy. Or, if SIL really
wants her up there, make sure that SIL understands she
may well fidget the entire time.
- Carry plenty of food and water with you. There's nothing
worse to work with than a hungry, cranky toddler.
- Carry some small toys for her. There's often a lot of
hurry-up-and-wait at weddings.
- Prepare for the usual emergencies (accidents, food spills,
ripped tights, etc.)

It might help to show videos of your or friends' weddings,
if you have access to any. The biggest help will be the
rehearsal, though. I think there are some books on being
a flower girl out there somewhere.

Best wishes,
Ericka

"Donna Metler" wrote in message
...
My brother is getting married this summer, and my SIL to be has decided
she
wants my 2 yr old DD to be the flower girl. DD's enjoyed shopping for her
"princess dress" and looking at the dresses at the bridal store, so I'm at
least somewhat positive, but I'm not sure what I should be doing to
prepare
a fairly young 2 yr old to be in a wedding.

Cute

My niece was my flower girl when she was two. My recommendation based on
what I wish my SIL would have done

Bring food and water!!! I really can't say this enough.

Things that worked: She walked down with the ring bearer (her brother).
Does she know the ring bearer? She sat with her mom/dad during the
ceremony...and slept.

The pictures alone were worth the risk that she'd miss the whole thing. So
sweet.


--
Nikki, mama to
Hunter 4/99
Luke 4/01
Brock 4/06
Ben 4/06

"Donna Metler" wrote in message
...
My brother is getting married this summer, and my SIL to be has decided
she
wants my 2 yr old DD to be the flower girl.


IMO you should do you utmost best to talk you SIL out of it. The attention
should be firmly on the bride, if you need pleasant words to convince her of
it. IMO little 2 yos should not be put through that nonsense.



DD's enjoyed shopping for her
"princess dress" and looking at the dresses at the bridal store, so I'm at
least somewhat positive, but I'm not sure what I should be doing to
prepare
a fairly young 2 yr old to be in a wedding. The only wedding she's seen on
video is one on a Care Bear DVD-and since Professor Cold Heart tried to
use
it to take over Care-a-lot, I'm not sure it's a good example.

Does anyone have any ideas or any books or DVDs we can go through with her
to help get her ready? And does anyone have any suggestions for toddler
wrangling during a wedding? We expect that DH will probably need to escort
her down the aisle, and that we may need to exit stage left if she gets
ancy, because we don't want her spoiling the event, but anything beyond
that? And, no, telling SILTB that she can't have what she wants probably
isn't a good idea-she's a bit of a bridezilla at this point.

Thanks in advance




If you cannot convince her that this is not a good idea, follow Erika's
advice to the letter!

In article ,
"Donna Metler" wrote:

Does anyone have any ideas or any books or DVDs we can go through with her
to help get her ready? And does anyone have any suggestions for toddler
wrangling during a wedding? We expect that DH will probably need to escort
her down the aisle, and that we may need to exit stage left if she gets
ancy, because we don't want her spoiling the event, but anything beyond
that? And, no, telling SILTB that she can't have what she wants probably
isn't a good idea-she's a bit of a bridezilla at this point.

I think you'd have more luck talking sense to a Bridezilla than a
two-year-old! At least warn her that 2yos are notoriously unreliable at
weddings, and that tantrums are a possibility.

I went to a wedding once with two tiny children in the bridal procession.
They were shy when they saw all the people staring at them, so the bride
herself held hands with them and they went down the aisle together. It was
unscripted but very, very sweet!

--
Chookie -- Sydney, Australia
(Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply)

"Parenthood is like the modern stone washing process for denim jeans. You may
start out crisp, neat and tough, but you end up pale, limp and wrinkled."
Kerry Cue

"Donna Metler" wrote in message
...
My brother is getting married this summer, and my SIL to be has decided
she
wants my 2 yr old DD to be the flower girl. DD's enjoyed shopping for her
"princess dress" and looking at the dresses at the bridal store, so I'm at
least somewhat positive, but I'm not sure what I should be doing to
prepare
a fairly young 2 yr old to be in a wedding. The only wedding she's seen on
video is one on a Care Bear DVD-and since Professor Cold Heart tried to
use
it to take over Care-a-lot, I'm not sure it's a good example.

Does anyone have any ideas or any books or DVDs we can go through with her
to help get her ready? And does anyone have any suggestions for toddler
wrangling during a wedding? We expect that DH will probably need to escort
her down the aisle, and that we may need to exit stage left if she gets
ancy, because we don't want her spoiling the event, but anything beyond
that? And, no, telling SILTB that she can't have what she wants probably
isn't a good idea-she's a bit of a bridezilla at this point.

Thanks in advance
I'd be careful about books/DVDs because they can give the child an idea
which won't happen. For example one bok I read about a wedding to #1 had the
child bridesmaid choosing the dress (including colour) then the one she
wanted wasn't in her size, so mummy made the dress she wanted. It can be
something as simple as stating "the bridemaids sit in a little chair" with a
picture of a red chair and the chair's blue... Or you don't want her stating
"I want that dress from the book".
I'd prepare your dd for walking down the isle holding daddy or older
bridesmaid's (if she knows/will go to) hand. See if she can go to the
rehearsal so she can see where she will be.
Depending on your dd I'd either take something for her to do during the
service (for #1 we had a book with lots of flaps and it kept her happy
throught 3 weddings when she was a nearly 2yo) or, if she's not going to sit
still, suggest to your sil that you'll take her out after the exchange of
rings (I'd have done that with #2 otherwise she'd have been trying to scale
the bride's dress or something)
As your siltb is in a bit of a wedding fever I'd explain quietly to your
brother that if your dd gets into a fuss, then you'll pick her up and exit
quickly. Explain that then she'll be happier to pose for the photos if she
hasn't had a paddy first! I suspect if that happens on the day your sil
won't mind, but thinking of it beforehand might cause problems.
I'd take a packet of something quiet, non-messy, and a treat to eat that
will give you a few minutes extra peace at a needed moment.
I'm sure she'll look very sweet. I've seen that age at a wedding and they
can look lovely as long as too much isn't expected of them. And the photos
are worth it anyway!
Debbie

On Mar 15, 6:32 am, Chookie wrote:


I went to a wedding once with two tiny children in the bridal procession.
They were shy when they saw all the people staring at them, so the bride
herself held hands with them and they went down the aisle together. It was
unscripted but very, very sweet!


Wait! You mean the attention wasn't *firmly* on the bride?! How did
they ever manage? Is it a real wedding if the BRIDE is not the sole
focus of attenion?

;-)

I don't have much to add, except follow Ericka's suggestions. We had
only 2 adult attendants in our wedding and the rest were kids of all
ages. All went great, however I wasn't really too concerned with
appearances, they did what they wanted to do.

"cjra" wrote in message
ups.com...

...

Wait! You mean the attention wasn't *firmly* on the bride?! How did
they ever manage? Is it a real wedding if the BRIDE is not the sole
focus of attenion?

I remember a movie or TV show (I think it was called Providence, and starred
Mike Farrell (Capt. BJ Hunnicut from M*A*S*H)) where the mother of the
bride said, "This is my wedding. You'll (the bride to be) have your wedding
when your daughter gets married."

And aren't there some men usually involved, like the father of the bride and
often the minister, rabbi or preist, i.e., the person who does the actual
marriage. Oh, and then there is the person to whom the bride is getting
married.

On Mar 15, 7:32 am, Chookie wrote:
In article ,
"Donna Metler" wrote:

Does anyone have any ideas or any books or DVDs we can go through with her
to help get her ready? And does anyone have any suggestions for toddler
wrangling during a wedding? We expect that DH will probably need to escort
her down the aisle, and that we may need to exit stage left if she gets
ancy, because we don't want her spoiling the event, but anything beyond
that? And, no, telling SILTB that she can't have what she wants probably
isn't a good idea-she's a bit of a bridezilla at this point.

I think you'd have more luck talking sense to a Bridezilla than a
two-year-old! At least warn her that 2yos are notoriously unreliable at
weddings, and that tantrums are a possibility.

I went to a wedding once with two tiny children in the bridal procession.
They were shy when they saw all the people staring at them, so the bride
herself held hands with them and they went down the aisle together. It was
unscripted but very, very sweet!

--
Chookie -- Sydney, Australia
(Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply)

"Parenthood is like the modern stone washing process for denim jeans. You may
start out crisp, neat and tough, but you end up pale, limp and wrinkled."
Kerry Cue

My flower girl was around 3 at the time I was married. She got the
jitters as soon as she saw the crowd also, but I just had her walk
down the isle with my dad and myself. As long as the bride is
flexible, then there should not be a problem.

Sue

On Mar 14, 9:24 pm, "Donna Metler" wrote:
My brother is getting married this summer,

Congratulations!

and my SIL to be has decided she
wants my 2 yr old DD to be the flower girl. DD's enjoyed shopping for her
"princess dress" and looking at the dresses at the bridal store, so I'm at
least somewhat positive, but I'm not sure what I should be doing to prepare
a fairly young 2 yr old to be in a wedding.

Buying plane tickets in the opposite direction?

One way to broach the subject with your future SIL is to mention that
a lot of officiants don't allow children that young to participate,
and ask if she's made sure that her's is OK with it, since you don't
want to disappoint your daughter. You might also want to browse the
net or youtube for some video of kids that young in weddings. Here's
one that I foudn fast with a kid who was actaully relatively well
behaved.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Nhu7bDaENyE

Barbara