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#31
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"'Kate" wrote in message ... On Fri, 03 Sep 2004 01:18:28 GMT, "CME" wrote: "Joelle" wrote in message ... there is no bigger shame for a man, than to know that his some other man had sex with his wife. Well that's just stupid. That shame belongs to his wife, not him. There should be no greater shame for a man than that he abandon his children. Joelle The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St Augustine Joelle I happen to agree with him. It's a horrible feeling to find out you've been cheated on and you tend to internalize that experience... therefore it becomes your shame, does it not? Regardless, I happened to like his post. Christine Only if you think your spouse cheating is about your deficits and not your spouses' lack of self-control and maturity. 'Kate No my ex cheating on me really had nothing to do with me and my flaws, but I still thought so anyways. Took a long time to get over that. Christine |
#32
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I happen to agree with him. It's a horrible feeling to find out you've
been cheated Not all horrible feelings are shame. and you tend to internalize that experience... therefore it becomes your shame, does it not? Not shame. Hurt, betrayal, anger, embarrasment, not shame. Shame is about your bad acts and character. The shame of infidelity belongs to the one who betrays alone. And to characterize being cheated on as one's greatest shame? That's a wrong use of the word shame. Shame is who you are and what you do wrong. Sometimes you should be ashamed. Sometimes shame is wrongly placed. If you abandon your children, you should be ashamed, and society should shame you. If you are cheated on, well I would be ashamed I picked such a loser but it wouldn't be my greatest shame. No my ex cheating on me really had nothing to do with me and my flaws, but I still thought so anyways. Took a long time to get over that Which proves my point the shame was wrongly placed. Joelle The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St Augustine Joelle |
#33
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"Joelle" wrote in message ... I happen to agree with him. It's a horrible feeling to find out you've been cheated Not all horrible feelings are shame. and you tend to internalize that experience... therefore it becomes your shame, does it not? Not shame. Hurt, betrayal, anger, embarrasment, not shame. Shame is about your bad acts and character. The shame of infidelity belongs to the one who betrays alone. And to characterize being cheated on as one's greatest shame? That's a wrong use of the word shame. Shame is who you are and what you do wrong. Sometimes you should be ashamed. Sometimes shame is wrongly placed. If you abandon your children, you should be ashamed, and society should shame you. If you are cheated on, well I would be ashamed I picked such a loser but it wouldn't be my greatest shame. No my ex cheating on me really had nothing to do with me and my flaws, but I still thought so anyways. Took a long time to get over that Which proves my point the shame was wrongly placed. Joelle The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St Augustine Joelle Ok when you put it that way. lol Christine |
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