so, WHY am i doing this again?

my daughter is three weeks old today and we still haven't gotten this
natural art of breastfeeding right yet. I'm sore and leaking like
crazy and tired and cranky and nothing has ever made me feel so
inadequate and guilty for failing... My husband is sleeping on the
couch, my two year old is jealous and needy... where's the love?
where's the bonding at two in the morning when the baby is screaming
and arching her back away from the breast? I've seen three lactation
consultants and one LaLeched League leader... nothing seems to be
changing, except my mood which is gloomier....

so WHY am i doing this?

what kept you going?

shelley wrote:

what kept you going?


Sheer stubbornness. It does get better, though. Maybe
daddy could wake up and attend to DD's neediness?

Phoebe

"shelley" wrote in message
om...
what kept you going?

I wanted the very best for my son. I approached it from the opinion that
feeding formula was no option at all. It doesn't confer immunity, it tastes
terrible, it lacks many of the right nutrients and it costs a great deal.
Formula spit-up reeks and stains, and formula poop stinks. And so on, and
so on and so on.

I would have felt derelict if I had given up. I wanted our son to be as
bright, resilient and physically perfect as he can be.

I think that I had an easy time of it, though I did have sore nipples and my
son got a bit colicky if I ate dairy. One works through those things. It
got a lot easier after 6 weeks. Hope it does for you, too. Good luck!

Beth

THE THOUGHT OF THE (damn caps lock) amount of money involved in formula
feeding, the awareness of the allergies my cousin had as a kid and the fact
that DH's mother and sister both have bad ashma. It's what got me through until
it got better. Sue


my daughter is three weeks old today and we still haven't gotten this
natural art of breastfeeding right yet. I'm sore and leaking like
crazy and tired and cranky and nothing has ever made me feel so
inadequate and guilty for failing... My husband is sleeping on the
couch, my two year old is jealous and needy... where's the love?
where's the bonding at two in the morning when the baby is screaming
and arching her back away from the breast? I've seen three lactation
consultants and one LaLeched League leader... nothing seems to be
changing, except my mood which is gloomier....

so WHY am i doing this?

what kept you going?


Tupperware without the party???
Shop online at my website.
http://my.tupperware.com/SueBurton

** remove "spamnot" to reply**

(shelley) wrote in message . com...
what kept you going?

Wanting the best for my baby did it. I was worried that formula
doesn't have enough fatty acids for the baby's brain to develop as
well. That and I actually already had alot of money invested in it on
devices that made my nipples not flat and galactagogues. Plus, I
really wanted the whole experience. I wanted to be able to say I
breastfed my dd and know what it is like.

Don't give up. Since you have pain but plenty of supply perhaps try a
nipple shield a few times while working on the latch, so you can get a
bit of a break from the pain.

It really does get better, and I've been whining for weeks until just
lately. I felt totally guilty about my 3 year old too, but we are
finding our way again. Make sure you set up snacks and drinks for
your 2 year old when you nurse and perhaps put a kid video on. That
might help. It really does get better.

Good luck,

KC

shelley wrote in message
om...
what kept you going?

Stubbornness, frugality and wanting to do the best for my baby. I hated the
idea of having to pay for formula. My mother was told that her milk dried
up at 13 weeks (with me), and I was determined to get beyond that - you
should have seen the reaction DH got when he suggested formula at about 3
weeks!! Also, babies have thrived on breast milk for so long that it is
obviously the best thing for them. I was determined to give it my best
shot. And once the mastitis and sore cracked nipples of the first month
eased, things became very pleasant. Also, the tingly feeling I get when I
get a letdown is hard to beat for feel good factor!!

Cathy

shelley wrote:

my daughter is three weeks old today and we still haven't gotten this
natural art of breastfeeding right yet. I'm sore and leaking like
crazy and tired and cranky and nothing has ever made me feel so
inadequate and guilty for failing... My husband is sleeping on the
couch, my two year old is jealous and needy... where's the love?

Love schmove. At 3 weeks post partum, you just get thru.

where's the bonding at two in the morning when the baby is screaming
and arching her back away from the breast?

You're looking at it from a sort of soft focus, nestle commercial sort of
place.
Breastfeeding is LEARNED, not a natural art. You're not failing, you're
just having a rough start.
Get a *good* lactation consultant involved, get some super absorbant
nursing pads, and babysitter for the 2yo for a few hours here and there
so you can SLEEP with the baby.

I've seen three lactation
consultants and one LaLeched League leader... nothing seems to be
changing, except my mood which is gloomier....

What's teh problem? What has been suggested? Why isn't it working (ie,
what is continuing to happen)

so WHY am i doing this?

Only you can answer that, but there are a whole heap of good reasons to
persevere.

what kept you going?

Well, as a single mom, alone with DS, struggling thru some VERY rocky
times early on, THIS GROUP was a *BIG* help, even when I was typing in
tears and all people could do was to send me virtual hugs and hope.
Three weeks was a ROUGH time. Knowing that I was NOT going to formula
feed, (to the point that the only thing that I could come up with in one
3am delirium around 3wks pp was that I would simply have to give him up
for adoption to his biodad, since I would NEVER feed him formula and his
dad would HAVE to. I still have DS. It does get better. ;-)

Breastfeeding was the only food source I considered appropriate for my
baby. He could have formula if I died or lost both breasts in a freak
accident, but not before.

I want him to have the antibody protection, the superb brain food, the
comfort that does eventually come from nursing, the individually tailored
perfect food, and the convenience of dinner "on tap" anywhere, anytime.

What did you do with your 2 yo? If you didn't nurse, what made you
decide to start that way (good for you!!) with this baby?

If you specifically tell us what the problems are, we are sure as a group
to have a heap of good advice for you. Or google the list with your
questions, and you're sure to find out that your experiences are utterly
normal, and far more common than the mom who picks up the baby from the
delivery, cuts the cord, slaps it to her breast, and picks up where she
left off pre-babe. :-)

Dawn
--
«¤»¥«¤»§«¤»¥«¤»§«¤»¥«¤»§«¤»¥«¤»§«¤»¥«¤»§«¤»¥«¤»§«¤ »¥«¤»§«¤»

"shelley" wrote in message
om...
my daughter is three weeks old today and we still haven't gotten this
natural art of breastfeeding right yet. I'm sore and leaking like
crazy and tired and cranky and nothing has ever made me feel so
inadequate and guilty for failing... My husband is sleeping on the
couch, my two year old is jealous and needy... where's the love?
where's the bonding at two in the morning when the baby is screaming
and arching her back away from the breast? I've seen three lactation
consultants and one LaLeched League leader... nothing seems to be
changing, except my mood which is gloomier....

so WHY am i doing this?

what kept you going?

Sheer determination to give my baby the best start possible. I went through
hell for the first 2 months but when it gets easy it is great. My DD is now
12 weeks old and it just melts my heart when she stops in the middle of
nursing and looks up at me and smiles. There is no feeling like it. You
never have to worry about bottles and heating up formula.

Things will get better. Hang in there, you won't regret it.

Nadene

I'm way to cheap and too lazy to deal with formula and bottles. Plus,
everyone I knew who bf'ed promised that it got easier.

After three weeks of hell (cracked, bleeding nipples and mastitis), I
started to feel better and after eight weeks, it suddenly became easy. Now,
I just put my nipple in the vicinity of dd's mouth and she latches
beautifully. I can't even forget to bring her a meal because it's always
with us. I'm actually starting, at 15 weeks, to enjoy bf'ing.

I hope it works for you too. It is really hard at first and does get easier.

--
Melissa (in Los Angeles)
Mum to Elizabeth 4/13/03

"shelley" wrote in message
om...
my daughter is three weeks old today and we still haven't gotten this
natural art of breastfeeding right yet. I'm sore and leaking like
crazy and tired and cranky and nothing has ever made me feel so
inadequate and guilty for failing... My husband is sleeping on the
couch, my two year old is jealous and needy... where's the love?
where's the bonding at two in the morning when the baby is screaming
and arching her back away from the breast? I've seen three lactation
consultants and one LaLeched League leader... nothing seems to be
changing, except my mood which is gloomier....

so WHY am i doing this?

what kept you going?

Dawn Lawson wrote:

Love schmove. At 3 weeks post partum, you just get thru.


Oh, yeah. I remember when Gabe was almost a month old thinking, "Little boy,
you'd better start smiling soon, because I *really* need the positive
feedback..." When you've got a newborn, you just slog through the days and
try to maintain some sanity.

--
iphigenia
www.tristyn.net