Advice Please!

My son and wife made the decision to move to Alaska from California
with their 4 yr old daughter to improve their quality of life and a
good job offer. Another son is there and the plans had been in the
works for some time. My son left 5 weeks ago and is doing great with
the new job, has a home, church, pre-school and just about anything
else they are going to need once the wife and my grand daughter
arrive. Today he called sobbing that the wife has decided that she
isn't going and instead has decided to go out and find herself, grow
up (she's 34) and end the marriage! She is staying with friends who
care for my grand daughter while she works. My GD told me over the
holidays that the man spanked her hard last week...something that she
has never experience. The mother thought this was quite alright and
passed it off. She was also in a mental ward last year for suicidal
thoughts??? anyway she is obviously unstable.
The question I have is this....Can the father take the child to Alaska
and file for custody there? The wife has not done anything legally to
retain custody of the child. He had no idea that she was even
thinking about anything such as this and is devastated. I am heartsick
that this little girl has been physically disaplined by a so called
friend and that her mother is thinking of only herself and how she
wants to find herself and grow up. The child has been so excited
about having Christmas in her new house and seeing her daddy in a few
weeks...it's very very sad.
Any information will be appreciated.
Thank you...J. Freeman

"J Freeman" wrote in message
om...
My son and wife made the decision to move to Alaska from California
with their 4 yr old daughter to improve their quality of life and a
good job offer. Another son is there and the plans had been in the
works for some time. My son left 5 weeks ago and is doing great with
the new job, has a home, church, pre-school and just about anything
else they are going to need once the wife and my grand daughter
arrive. Today he called sobbing that the wife has decided that she
isn't going and instead has decided to go out and find herself, grow
up (she's 34) and end the marriage! She is staying with friends who
care for my grand daughter while she works. My GD told me over the
holidays that the man spanked her hard last week...something that she
has never experience. The mother thought this was quite alright and
passed it off. She was also in a mental ward last year for suicidal
thoughts??? anyway she is obviously unstable.
The question I have is this....Can the father take the child to Alaska
and file for custody there? The wife has not done anything legally to
retain custody of the child. He had no idea that she was even
thinking about anything such as this and is devastated. I am heartsick
that this little girl has been physically disaplined by a so called
friend and that her mother is thinking of only herself and how she
wants to find herself and grow up. The child has been so excited
about having Christmas in her new house and seeing her daddy in a few
weeks...it's very very sad.
Any information will be appreciated.
Thank you...J. Freeman
===
Yikes--What an ugly situation. If there is no custody order, either parent
has equal rights to possession and can file for custody.
**Usually the parent who has "physical possession" of the child, has a
better chance of retaining
custody.** If your son wishes to gain custody, it would be in his favor if
he had physical possession of the child when he files.
Keep in mind, that when deciding custody, with all things being equal, the
judge looks at how much connection the child will have with extended family
when determining where the child should go. Your son might have a better
chance at custody if he lived closer to you and the child's mother. Is he
determined to stay in Alaska? That could go against him.
==
==

"J Freeman" wrote in message
om...
My son and wife made the decision to move to Alaska from California
with their 4 yr old daughter to improve their quality of life and a
good job offer. Another son is there and the plans had been in the
works for some time. My son left 5 weeks ago and is doing great with
the new job, has a home, church, pre-school and just about anything
else they are going to need once the wife and my grand daughter
arrive. Today he called sobbing that the wife has decided that she
isn't going and instead has decided to go out and find herself, grow
up (she's 34) and end the marriage! She is staying with friends who
care for my grand daughter while she works. My GD told me over the
holidays that the man spanked her hard last week...something that she
has never experience. The mother thought this was quite alright and
passed it off. She was also in a mental ward last year for suicidal
thoughts??? anyway she is obviously unstable.
The question I have is this....Can the father take the child to Alaska
and file for custody there? The wife has not done anything legally to
retain custody of the child. He had no idea that she was even
thinking about anything such as this and is devastated. I am heartsick
that this little girl has been physically disaplined by a so called
friend and that her mother is thinking of only herself and how she
wants to find herself and grow up. The child has been so excited
about having Christmas in her new house and seeing her daddy in a few
weeks...it's very very sad.
Any information will be appreciated.
Thank you...J. Freeman
===
Yikes--What an ugly situation. If there is no custody order, either parent
has equal rights to possession and can file for custody.
**Usually the parent who has "physical possession" of the child, has a
better chance of retaining
custody.** If your son wishes to gain custody, it would be in his favor if
he had physical possession of the child when he files.
Keep in mind, that when deciding custody, with all things being equal, the
judge looks at how much connection the child will have with extended family
when determining where the child should go. Your son might have a better
chance at custody if he lived closer to you and the child's mother. Is he
determined to stay in Alaska? That could go against him.
==
==

"Gini" wrote:

Yikes--What an ugly situation. If there is no custody order, either parent
has equal rights to possession and can file for custody.
**Usually the parent who has "physical possession" of the child, has a
better chance of retaining
custody.** If your son wishes to gain custody, it would be in his favor if
he had physical possession of the child when he files.
Keep in mind, that when deciding custody, with all things being equal, the
judge looks at how much connection the child will have with extended family
when determining where the child should go. Your son might have a better
chance at custody if he lived closer to you and the child's mother. Is he
determined to stay in Alaska? That could go against him.


If the son plans to stay in Alaska, and there is no filing (by the
mother) as yet, it sounds as if taking the child to Alaska is a good
idea. I would then suggest that he file for separation or divorce (in
Alaska), assuming that he has established residency there.

I would consult an Alaska lawyer, however, before making my move; but
I would not waste a day, as, if the mother files in California, the
child will stay there with her and the litigation would go on in a
"no-fault" state which is, like many, generally anti-father.


Best,

Bob


Robert A. Fink, M. D., President
California Parents United, Inc.

"The best parent is both parents...."

"Gini" wrote:

Yikes--What an ugly situation. If there is no custody order, either parent
has equal rights to possession and can file for custody.
**Usually the parent who has "physical possession" of the child, has a
better chance of retaining
custody.** If your son wishes to gain custody, it would be in his favor if
he had physical possession of the child when he files.
Keep in mind, that when deciding custody, with all things being equal, the
judge looks at how much connection the child will have with extended family
when determining where the child should go. Your son might have a better
chance at custody if he lived closer to you and the child's mother. Is he
determined to stay in Alaska? That could go against him.


If the son plans to stay in Alaska, and there is no filing (by the
mother) as yet, it sounds as if taking the child to Alaska is a good
idea. I would then suggest that he file for separation or divorce (in
Alaska), assuming that he has established residency there.

I would consult an Alaska lawyer, however, before making my move; but
I would not waste a day, as, if the mother files in California, the
child will stay there with her and the litigation would go on in a
"no-fault" state which is, like many, generally anti-father.


Best,

Bob


Robert A. Fink, M. D., President
California Parents United, Inc.

"The best parent is both parents...."

"Robert A. Fink, M. D." wrote in message
news
"Gini" wrote:

Yikes--What an ugly situation. If there is no custody order, either
parent
has equal rights to possession and can file for custody.
**Usually the parent who has "physical possession" of the child, has a
better chance of retaining
custody.** If your son wishes to gain custody, it would be in his favor
if
he had physical possession of the child when he files.
Keep in mind, that when deciding custody, with all things being equal,
the
judge looks at how much connection the child will have with extended
family
when determining where the child should go. Your son might have a better
chance at custody if he lived closer to you and the child's mother. Is he
determined to stay in Alaska? That could go against him.


If the son plans to stay in Alaska, and there is no filing (by the
mother) as yet, it sounds as if taking the child to Alaska is a good
idea.
==
Normally, I would agree with the dad taking the child and filing for
custody.
I just worry about the distance and having the judge come down on him for
taking the child so far away from
her mother and other family. I could see this one going either way. I guess
he'll have to do what he thinks is right and hope the chips fall his way. It
sure is a tough call. I guess the one thing we can be sure of is that if he
leaves the child with her mother/and or the mother files first, he will not
win custody. Whatever he decides, he must act immediately.
==
==
I would then suggest that he file for separation or divorce (in
Alaska), assuming that he has established residency there.

I would consult an Alaska lawyer, however, before making my move; but
I would not waste a day, as, if the mother files in California, the
child will stay there with her and the litigation would go on in a
"no-fault" state which is, like many, generally anti-father.


Best,

Bob


Robert A. Fink, M. D., President
California Parents United, Inc.

"The best parent is both parents...."

"Robert A. Fink, M. D." wrote in message
news
"Gini" wrote:

Yikes--What an ugly situation. If there is no custody order, either
parent
has equal rights to possession and can file for custody.
**Usually the parent who has "physical possession" of the child, has a
better chance of retaining
custody.** If your son wishes to gain custody, it would be in his favor
if
he had physical possession of the child when he files.
Keep in mind, that when deciding custody, with all things being equal,
the
judge looks at how much connection the child will have with extended
family
when determining where the child should go. Your son might have a better
chance at custody if he lived closer to you and the child's mother. Is he
determined to stay in Alaska? That could go against him.


If the son plans to stay in Alaska, and there is no filing (by the
mother) as yet, it sounds as if taking the child to Alaska is a good
idea.
==
Normally, I would agree with the dad taking the child and filing for
custody.
I just worry about the distance and having the judge come down on him for
taking the child so far away from
her mother and other family. I could see this one going either way. I guess
he'll have to do what he thinks is right and hope the chips fall his way. It
sure is a tough call. I guess the one thing we can be sure of is that if he
leaves the child with her mother/and or the mother files first, he will not
win custody. Whatever he decides, he must act immediately.
==
==
I would then suggest that he file for separation or divorce (in
Alaska), assuming that he has established residency there.

I would consult an Alaska lawyer, however, before making my move; but
I would not waste a day, as, if the mother files in California, the
child will stay there with her and the litigation would go on in a
"no-fault" state which is, like many, generally anti-father.


Best,

Bob


Robert A. Fink, M. D., President
California Parents United, Inc.

"The best parent is both parents...."

AZ Astrea wrote:
I agree that he should get right on it, go get the child, take her up
there with him and file immediately for divorce and custody. There
is no chance if she files first and has the kid and there is a small
chance a judge would look unfavorably upon him for moving to Alaska.
I would go with the small chance rather than the no chance. And
since there is no custody order he doesn't have to fear anything from
doing that. In fact it might even be best if he files immediately
for temporary custody while he's getting things together for the
divorce. But no matter what he has to file first.

And it really f-ing sucks that the courts/government puts people in the
position that they feel the need to do underhanded things, and race to
the court, and other stuff like that.

AZ Astrea wrote:
I agree that he should get right on it, go get the child, take her up
there with him and file immediately for divorce and custody. There
is no chance if she files first and has the kid and there is a small
chance a judge would look unfavorably upon him for moving to Alaska.
I would go with the small chance rather than the no chance. And
since there is no custody order he doesn't have to fear anything from
doing that. In fact it might even be best if he files immediately
for temporary custody while he's getting things together for the
divorce. But no matter what he has to file first.

And it really f-ing sucks that the courts/government puts people in the
position that they feel the need to do underhanded things, and race to
the court, and other stuff like that.

"Gini" wrote in message
...

"Robert A. Fink, M. D." wrote in message
news
"Gini" wrote:

Yikes--What an ugly situation. If there is no custody order, either
parent
has equal rights to possession and can file for custody.
**Usually the parent who has "physical possession" of the child, has a
better chance of retaining
custody.** If your son wishes to gain custody, it would be in his favor
if
he had physical possession of the child when he files.
Keep in mind, that when deciding custody, with all things being equal,
the
judge looks at how much connection the child will have with extended
family
when determining where the child should go. Your son might have a
better
chance at custody if he lived closer to you and the child's mother. Is
he
determined to stay in Alaska? That could go against him.


If the son plans to stay in Alaska, and there is no filing (by the
mother) as yet, it sounds as if taking the child to Alaska is a good
idea.
==
Normally, I would agree with the dad taking the child and filing for
custody.
I just worry about the distance and having the judge come down on him for
taking the child so far away from
her mother and other family. I could see this one going either way. I
guess
he'll have to do what he thinks is right and hope the chips fall his way.
It
sure is a tough call. I guess the one thing we can be sure of is that if
he
leaves the child with her mother/and or the mother files first, he will
not
win custody. Whatever he decides, he must act immediately.
==
==
-------------
I agree that he should get right on it, go get the child, take her up there
with him and file immediately for divorce and custody. There is no chance
if she files first and has the kid and there is a small chance a judge would
look unfavorably upon him for moving to Alaska. I would go with the small
chance rather than the no chance. And since there is no custody order he
doesn't have to fear anything from doing that. In fact it might even be
best if he files immediately for temporary custody while he's getting things
together for the divorce. But no matter what he has to file first.

~AZ~

I would then suggest that he file for separation or divorce (in
Alaska), assuming that he has established residency there.

I would consult an Alaska lawyer, however, before making my move; but
I would not waste a day, as, if the mother files in California, the
child will stay there with her and the litigation would go on in a
"no-fault" state which is, like many, generally anti-father.


Best,

Bob


Robert A. Fink, M. D., President
California Parents United, Inc.

"The best parent is both parents...."