Neighbor Hitting Hard Baseball in my Yard w/ Kids

My 40+ year old neighbor decided to get his very own basball pitching
machine and wack balls directly into my yard where my 2 and 4 year olds
play regularly. The machine pitches 50 - 60 mph semi-hard balls. I need
opinions or ideas on how to stop this ignorant person.

The most recent episode occurred when he missed my 2 year old toddler
with a ball by a few feet. I then waited and watched as he continued to
hit the balls into my yard. Then another one came in. I immediately
then notified him that my kids are playing in my yard (he has four
yound kids and toddlers of his own) and he said "don't worry, they are
only pop-ups". I then asked questionaly and politely: "How would you
like it if I hit these balls into your yard?". He replied "I wouldn't
care", then invited me to hit a few. What was I to do or say to be a
decent neighbor, so I accepted, also so I could see more closely what
he was doing.

I don't know how to stop a person who is either really or pretending to
be ignorant. He has other options to hit the balls towards the other
side or back of his property. I need to prevent this before something
really serious happens.

I was thinking of continuing to reprimand him (which I believe will not
work if he refuses to acknowledge the problem) or to start hitting hard
golf balls into his yard. Which would you chose? Have you had similar
experiences? Do you have any suggestions to help me?

1. Remind your neighbor that the reason batting cages were invented was
to protect innocent bystanders. Then ask him to get one.
2. Keep the balls that come into your yard. Baseballs aren't THAT
cheap!
3. Call the police. This is reckless endangerment of your children and
I think the police may be willing to intervene (but it won't be good
for neighborly relations).
4. Is he married? What does his wife think of this? Perhaps you can
enlist her help.

Good luck!
--Beth Kevles

http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic
Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical
advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner.

NOTE: No email is read at my MIT address. Use the AOL one if you would
like me to reply.

Billy wrote:
My 40+ year old neighbor decided to get his very own basball pitching
machine and wack balls directly into my yard where my 2 and 4 year olds
play regularly. The machine pitches 50 - 60 mph semi-hard balls. I need
opinions or ideas on how to stop this ignorant person.

The most recent episode occurred when he missed my 2 year old toddler
with a ball by a few feet. I then waited and watched as he continued to
hit the balls into my yard. Then another one came in. I immediately
then notified him that my kids are playing in my yard (he has four
yound kids and toddlers of his own) and he said "don't worry, they are
only pop-ups". I then asked questionaly and politely: "How would you
like it if I hit these balls into your yard?". He replied "I wouldn't
care", then invited me to hit a few. What was I to do or say to be a
decent neighbor, so I accepted, also so I could see more closely what
he was doing.

I don't know how to stop a person who is either really or pretending to
be ignorant. He has other options to hit the balls towards the other
side or back of his property. I need to prevent this before something
really serious happens.

I was thinking of continuing to reprimand him (which I believe will not
work if he refuses to acknowledge the problem) or to start hitting hard
golf balls into his yard. Which would you chose? Have you had similar
experiences? Do you have any suggestions to help me?

The FIrst Step is to stop thinking even to yourself of this person as
ignorant.

If you want him to change his behavior, then you need for him to want
to do what you want him to. You have to convince him to want to help
you, and if you have a bad attitude about it then he will want to get
back at you for that and will want to do the exact opposite of what you
want. He's already started a bit of this when he said he wouldn't care
if you hit balls into his yard.

You need to do the first step before you can do anything else.

If it were me, I would say to him directly - Why do you want to hit
them into this direction - why not hit them toward the back of your
property? He may have a reason or he may not have thought about it and
if he doesn't have a reason that's a pretty easy change.

The next thing to ask is that he not hit the balls when your children
are outside because you are afraid they will be hurt. You might point
out that they are too young to catch the balls as yet. As a women, I
would pretend to be just sort of over protective and wacky - if that
won't work for you because you are a man, maybe your wife could do it
for you. He might be willing to change for a woman where he wouldn't
do it for a man. [Note - I was hit on the jaw when I was sitting behind
the foul line by a pop fly at a semi-pro ball game when I was about 10,
and I can testify that it did hurt.]

I also suspect that he won't really play with his toy for very long if
you can wait him out.

I would not hit golf balls into his yard or do anything to escalate the
situation or make him hostile.

I might put up a net on my side of the fence and keep all the balls
that come into my yard, but that is as far as I'd go.

grandma Rosalie wrote:
Billy wrote:
My 40+ year old neighbor decided to get his very own basball pitching
machine and wack balls directly into my yard where my 2 and 4 year olds
play regularly. The machine pitches 50 - 60 mph semi-hard balls. I need
opinions or ideas on how to stop this ignorant person.

The most recent episode occurred when he missed my 2 year old toddler
with a ball by a few feet. I then waited and watched as he continued to
hit the balls into my yard. Then another one came in. I immediately
then notified him that my kids are playing in my yard (he has four
yound kids and toddlers of his own) and he said "don't worry, they are
only pop-ups". I then asked questionaly and politely: "How would you
like it if I hit these balls into your yard?". He replied "I wouldn't
care", then invited me to hit a few. What was I to do or say to be a
decent neighbor, so I accepted, also so I could see more closely what
he was doing.

I don't know how to stop a person who is either really or pretending to
be ignorant. He has other options to hit the balls towards the other
side or back of his property. I need to prevent this before something
really serious happens.

I was thinking of continuing to reprimand him (which I believe will not
work if he refuses to acknowledge the problem) or to start hitting hard
golf balls into his yard. Which would you chose? Have you had similar
experiences? Do you have any suggestions to help me?

The FIrst Step is to stop thinking even to yourself of this person as
ignorant.

Why? The man is ignorant.

If you want him to change his behavior, then you need for him to want
to do what you want him to.

This is a not a child. I would not feel any need to help him feel that
he is
doing something because *he* wants to. I think he should change
his behaviour because it helps someone else.
He needs to see he is doing wrong, not that he is doing a great favour
by
changing his behaviour.

You have to convince him to want to help
you, and if you have a bad attitude about it then he will want to get
back at you for that and will want to do the exact opposite of what you
want. He's already started a bit of this when he said he wouldn't care
if you hit balls into his yard.

Yes, it might make his cross, but I don't think the OP
should pander to him.

You need to do the first step before you can do anything else.

If it were me, I would say to him directly - Why do you want to hit
them into this direction - why not hit them toward the back of your
property? He may have a reason or he may not have thought about it and
if he doesn't have a reason that's a pretty easy change.

I think this is fine. You can be reasonable about it and he might see
your point.

The next thing to ask is that he not hit the balls when your children
are outside because you are afraid they will be hurt. You might point
out that they are too young to catch the balls as yet. As a women, I
would pretend to be just sort of over protective and wacky

Sheesh, I would never make myself look like a silly woman to get
someone to
change their dangerous behaviour towards my children.

If a reasonable request to ask him to stop fails then I would call the
police.

Mary Ann

In article .com, Mary Ann
says...


grandma Rosalie wrote:
Billy wrote:
My 40+ year old neighbor decided to get his very own basball pitching
machine and wack balls directly into my yard where my 2 and 4 year olds
play regularly. The machine pitches 50 - 60 mph semi-hard balls. I need
opinions or ideas on how to stop this ignorant person.

The most recent episode occurred when he missed my 2 year old toddler
with a ball by a few feet. I then waited and watched as he continued to
hit the balls into my yard. Then another one came in. I immediately
then notified him that my kids are playing in my yard (he has four
yound kids and toddlers of his own) and he said "don't worry, they are
only pop-ups". I then asked questionaly and politely: "How would you
like it if I hit these balls into your yard?". He replied "I wouldn't
care", then invited me to hit a few. What was I to do or say to be a
decent neighbor, so I accepted, also so I could see more closely what
he was doing.

I don't know how to stop a person who is either really or pretending to
be ignorant. He has other options to hit the balls towards the other
side or back of his property. I need to prevent this before something
really serious happens.

I was thinking of continuing to reprimand him (which I believe will not
work if he refuses to acknowledge the problem) or to start hitting hard
golf balls into his yard. Which would you chose? Have you had similar
experiences? Do you have any suggestions to help me?

The FIrst Step is to stop thinking even to yourself of this person as
ignorant.

Why? The man is ignorant.

If you want him to change his behavior, then you need for him to want
to do what you want him to.

This is a not a child. I would not feel any need to help him feel that
he is
doing something because *he* wants to. I think he should change
his behaviour because it helps someone else.
He needs to see he is doing wrong, not that he is doing a great favour
by
changing his behaviour.

??

He needs no more balls flying into his yard, not to raise his neighbor's
behavior into a higher moral plane.

The best answers to this query are coming from his post in misc.consumers.house,
IMO.

Banty

Billy wrote:
My 40+ year old neighbor decided to get his very own basball pitching
machine and wack balls directly into my yard where my 2 and 4 year olds
play regularly. The machine pitches 50 - 60 mph semi-hard balls. I need
opinions or ideas on how to stop this ignorant person.

The most recent episode occurred when he missed my 2 year old toddler
with a ball by a few feet. I then waited and watched as he continued to
hit the balls into my yard. Then another one came in. I immediately
then notified him that my kids are playing in my yard (he has four
yound kids and toddlers of his own) and he said "don't worry, they are
only pop-ups". I then asked questionaly and politely: "How would you
like it if I hit these balls into your yard?". He replied "I wouldn't
care", then invited me to hit a few. What was I to do or say to be a
decent neighbor, so I accepted, also so I could see more closely what
he was doing.

I don't know how to stop a person who is either really or pretending to
be ignorant. He has other options to hit the balls towards the other
side or back of his property. I need to prevent this before something
really serious happens.

I was thinking of continuing to reprimand him (which I believe will not
work if he refuses to acknowledge the problem) or to start hitting hard
golf balls into his yard. Which would you chose? Have you had similar
experiences? Do you have any suggestions to help me?


I wouldn't do either. Have you directly asked him not to hit the balls
into your yard? It doesn't sound like it, although maybe I'm missing
something in your post. "How would you like it if I hit these balls
into your yard?" is not a direct, polite request to STOP. That's the
first thing I'd try. If that didn't work, I guess my next response
would depend on whether I could afford to put up a fence. Not that I
should have to, but if the next-door neighbor doesn't see any problem
with hitting baseballs into my yard even after I've asked him to stop, a
fence might be a good investment. What's next? He doesn't see any
problem with letting his Rottweiler run loose in my yard? He doesn't
see any problem with driving his ATV into my yard? If a fence wasn't
an option, I think I'd next put my request in writing. That would
probably be ammunition if I ended up calling the police or suing him in
the case of damage.

Clisby


Clisby

In article . net, Clisby
says...



Billy wrote:
My 40+ year old neighbor decided to get his very own basball pitching
machine and wack balls directly into my yard where my 2 and 4 year olds
play regularly. The machine pitches 50 - 60 mph semi-hard balls. I need
opinions or ideas on how to stop this ignorant person.

The most recent episode occurred when he missed my 2 year old toddler
with a ball by a few feet. I then waited and watched as he continued to
hit the balls into my yard. Then another one came in. I immediately
then notified him that my kids are playing in my yard (he has four
yound kids and toddlers of his own) and he said "don't worry, they are
only pop-ups". I then asked questionaly and politely: "How would you
like it if I hit these balls into your yard?". He replied "I wouldn't
care", then invited me to hit a few. What was I to do or say to be a
decent neighbor, so I accepted, also so I could see more closely what
he was doing.

I don't know how to stop a person who is either really or pretending to
be ignorant. He has other options to hit the balls towards the other
side or back of his property. I need to prevent this before something
really serious happens.

I was thinking of continuing to reprimand him (which I believe will not
work if he refuses to acknowledge the problem) or to start hitting hard
golf balls into his yard. Which would you chose? Have you had similar
experiences? Do you have any suggestions to help me?


I wouldn't do either. Have you directly asked him not to hit the balls
into your yard? It doesn't sound like it, although maybe I'm missing
something in your post. "How would you like it if I hit these balls
into your yard?" is not a direct, polite request to STOP. That's the
first thing I'd try. If that didn't work, I guess my next response
would depend on whether I could afford to put up a fence. Not that I
should have to, but if the next-door neighbor doesn't see any problem
with hitting baseballs into my yard even after I've asked him to stop, a
fence might be a good investment. What's next? He doesn't see any
problem with letting his Rottweiler run loose in my yard? He doesn't
see any problem with driving his ATV into my yard? If a fence wasn't
an option, I think I'd next put my request in writing. That would
probably be ammunition if I ended up calling the police or suing him in
the case of damage.

I wouldn't put up a fence, at least not right away. It'd get balls being whaled
against it and sometimes still over it. It'd be taken as a spite fence. Maybe
after dealing with this, then I'd put up a fence the following year.

I would go:

1. Consult town ordinances and police (with a 'what if') and a property lawyer.
2. Talk to neighbor saying directly not to do it anymore, and cite concern
regardng children. (With confidence of what other options there are, but not
bringing up any police or legal action at that point!)
3. If that doesn't work...
Ask one more time, state that he considers it to be a very serious thing, and
cite police or legal action this time. Keep balls unless property lawyer warns
against it (keep his nose clean!)
4. If that doesn't work..
Follow through on chosen action (as in, call the police)

A three-strikes out approach, and in full knowledge of what the 'rules' are.
IME with these kind of clods, it doesn't get past #3. They do it only if they
think they can intimidate others into going along with it. And #2 (like Clisby
says, just out and calmly but firmly tell him directly what not to do) will
probably work.

Banty

Banty wrote:
In article . net, Clisby
says...



Billy wrote:

My 40+ year old neighbor decided to get his very own basball pitching
machine and wack balls directly into my yard where my 2 and 4 year olds
play regularly. The machine pitches 50 - 60 mph semi-hard balls. I need
opinions or ideas on how to stop this ignorant person.

The most recent episode occurred when he missed my 2 year old toddler
with a ball by a few feet. I then waited and watched as he continued to
hit the balls into my yard. Then another one came in. I immediately
then notified him that my kids are playing in my yard (he has four
yound kids and toddlers of his own) and he said "don't worry, they are
only pop-ups". I then asked questionaly and politely: "How would you
like it if I hit these balls into your yard?". He replied "I wouldn't
care", then invited me to hit a few. What was I to do or say to be a
decent neighbor, so I accepted, also so I could see more closely what
he was doing.

I don't know how to stop a person who is either really or pretending to
be ignorant. He has other options to hit the balls towards the other
side or back of his property. I need to prevent this before something
really serious happens.

I was thinking of continuing to reprimand him (which I believe will not
work if he refuses to acknowledge the problem) or to start hitting hard
golf balls into his yard. Which would you chose? Have you had similar
experiences? Do you have any suggestions to help me?


I wouldn't do either. Have you directly asked him not to hit the balls
into your yard? It doesn't sound like it, although maybe I'm missing
something in your post. "How would you like it if I hit these balls
into your yard?" is not a direct, polite request to STOP. That's the
first thing I'd try. If that didn't work, I guess my next response
would depend on whether I could afford to put up a fence. Not that I
should have to, but if the next-door neighbor doesn't see any problem
with hitting baseballs into my yard even after I've asked him to stop, a
fence might be a good investment. What's next? He doesn't see any
problem with letting his Rottweiler run loose in my yard? He doesn't
see any problem with driving his ATV into my yard? If a fence wasn't
an option, I think I'd next put my request in writing. That would
probably be ammunition if I ended up calling the police or suing him in
the case of damage.


I wouldn't put up a fence, at least not right away. It'd get balls being whaled
against it and sometimes still over it. It'd be taken as a spite fence. Maybe
after dealing with this, then I'd put up a fence the following year.

I would go:

1. Consult town ordinances and police (with a 'what if') and a property lawyer.
2. Talk to neighbor saying directly not to do it anymore, and cite concern
regardng children. (With confidence of what other options there are, but not
bringing up any police or legal action at that point!)
3. If that doesn't work...
Ask one more time, state that he considers it to be a very serious thing, and
cite police or legal action this time. Keep balls unless property lawyer warns
against it (keep his nose clean!)
4. If that doesn't work..
Follow through on chosen action (as in, call the police)

A three-strikes out approach, and in full knowledge of what the 'rules' are.
IME with these kind of clods, it doesn't get past #3. They do it only if they
think they can intimidate others into going along with it. And #2 (like Clisby
says, just out and calmly but firmly tell him directly what not to do) will
probably work.

Banty


That sounds like a good approach, although I still think I'd put #3 in
writing. If I were in the shoes of the police (or a small-claims judge
if this ever escalated to civil action), I think it would make a
difference to me that the complainant could document efforts to resolve
this peacefully, including giving notice of the offending behavior.


Clisby

In article et, Clisby says...



Banty wrote:
In article . net, Clisby
says...



Billy wrote:

My 40+ year old neighbor decided to get his very own basball pitching
machine and wack balls directly into my yard where my 2 and 4 year olds
play regularly. The machine pitches 50 - 60 mph semi-hard balls. I need
opinions or ideas on how to stop this ignorant person.

The most recent episode occurred when he missed my 2 year old toddler
with a ball by a few feet. I then waited and watched as he continued to
hit the balls into my yard. Then another one came in. I immediately
then notified him that my kids are playing in my yard (he has four
yound kids and toddlers of his own) and he said "don't worry, they are
only pop-ups". I then asked questionaly and politely: "How would you
like it if I hit these balls into your yard?". He replied "I wouldn't
care", then invited me to hit a few. What was I to do or say to be a
decent neighbor, so I accepted, also so I could see more closely what
he was doing.

I don't know how to stop a person who is either really or pretending to
be ignorant. He has other options to hit the balls towards the other
side or back of his property. I need to prevent this before something
really serious happens.

I was thinking of continuing to reprimand him (which I believe will not
work if he refuses to acknowledge the problem) or to start hitting hard
golf balls into his yard. Which would you chose? Have you had similar
experiences? Do you have any suggestions to help me?


I wouldn't do either. Have you directly asked him not to hit the balls
into your yard? It doesn't sound like it, although maybe I'm missing
something in your post. "How would you like it if I hit these balls
into your yard?" is not a direct, polite request to STOP. That's the
first thing I'd try. If that didn't work, I guess my next response
would depend on whether I could afford to put up a fence. Not that I
should have to, but if the next-door neighbor doesn't see any problem
with hitting baseballs into my yard even after I've asked him to stop, a
fence might be a good investment. What's next? He doesn't see any
problem with letting his Rottweiler run loose in my yard? He doesn't
see any problem with driving his ATV into my yard? If a fence wasn't
an option, I think I'd next put my request in writing. That would
probably be ammunition if I ended up calling the police or suing him in
the case of damage.


I wouldn't put up a fence, at least not right away. It'd get balls being whaled
against it and sometimes still over it. It'd be taken as a spite fence. Maybe
after dealing with this, then I'd put up a fence the following year.

I would go:

1. Consult town ordinances and police (with a 'what if') and a property lawyer.
2. Talk to neighbor saying directly not to do it anymore, and cite concern
regardng children. (With confidence of what other options there are, but not
bringing up any police or legal action at that point!)
3. If that doesn't work...
Ask one more time, state that he considers it to be a very serious thing, and
cite police or legal action this time. Keep balls unless property lawyer warns
against it (keep his nose clean!)
4. If that doesn't work..
Follow through on chosen action (as in, call the police)

A three-strikes out approach, and in full knowledge of what the 'rules' are.
IME with these kind of clods, it doesn't get past #3. They do it only if they
think they can intimidate others into going along with it. And #2 (like Clisby
says, just out and calmly but firmly tell him directly what not to do) will
probably work.

Banty


That sounds like a good approach, although I still think I'd put #3 in
writing. If I were in the shoes of the police (or a small-claims judge
if this ever escalated to civil action), I think it would make a
difference to me that the complainant could document efforts to resolve
this peacefully, including giving notice of the offending behavior.

Yeah, I'd go along wiht that, or add another go-round.

A certified letter cc:'ed to Ms. XXX YYY, Esq. would do wonders.

Cheers,
Banty

Clisby wrote:
SNIP
I wouldn't do either. Have you directly asked him not to hit the balls
into your yard? It doesn't sound like it, although maybe I'm missing
something in your post. "How would you like it if I hit these balls
into your yard?" is not a direct, polite request to STOP. That's the
first thing I'd try. If that didn't work, I guess my next response
would depend on whether I could afford to put up a fence. Not that I
should have to, but if the next-door neighbor doesn't see any problem
with hitting baseballs into my yard even after I've asked him to stop, a
fence might be a good investment. What's next? He doesn't see any
problem with letting his Rottweiler run loose in my yard? He doesn't
see any problem with driving his ATV into my yard? If a fence wasn't
an option, I think I'd next put my request in writing. That would
probably be ammunition if I ended up calling the police or suing him in
the case of damage.

I agree with the suggestion to tell the neightbor -- bluntly -- to stop
hitting balls into OP's backyard. *I see you've set up your pitching
machine in a way that has you hitting towards my yard. The risk of
injury to my children or damage to my property is simply too great.
You need to move the machine immediately.* (As a caveat to the OP,
starting the day you say that, you'd better make sure that your kids
don't throw balls into the neighbor's yard, or when they get older, bat
in that direction. I'm not suggesting its equivalent, but I have a
feeling your neighbor will think it is!)

If that doesn't work, keep a record of when the neighbor hits the
balls, how many land in your yard, and where. The second request is in
writing. *On DATE, I requested that you move or stop using your
pitching machine, due to the risk of injury to my children or property.
You have refused to do so. In fact, since that time, you have hit X
balls into my backyard on Y occasions, including Z balls hit when my
children were playing in the area. If the machine is not removed
immediately, I will have no option but to take all legal steps
necessary to protect my children and home.* It would really s**k to
have to do that, because you will have effectively burned all bridges
with that neighbor, so save it as a last resort.

Please note that this is not intended as legal advice. For legal
advice, please consult an attorney licensed to practice in your
jurisdiction.

Where I disagree with a lot of responders is on the fence. A fence
won't work. The guy is hitting pop-ups according to the OP -- way up
in the air. Unless he's thinking about a replica of Fenway's Green
Monster, it won't work!

Barbara