Venting about O/B (long)

Hi all, I'm 39 years old and 19 weeks along with my first baby, and have a
few things going on right now. I'm just sort of venting here.
I changed O/B's after my second visit with Dr. D. My first visit (at 11
weeks) was fine, I guess. He answered my questions and gave me a pelvic
exam and pap smear and sent me to the lab for blood work. He asked me to
decide right then and put in writing if I wanted to decline or accept an
amnio, and I declined it pending results from the blood tests. I figured
that if they showed anything abnormal I would be notified right away and
could schedule an amnio if needed. I made my second appt. for 4 weeks later,
and went on my merry way, figuring that if my blood work showed anything
important they would call me.
When I went in for my second visit, they discovered that my blood work
hadn't arrived back at their office from the lab yet. He did say that my
pap smear was normal and let me listen to the heartbeat with the Doppler
device. I asked him to look at a mole on my labia that had been growing
since the start of the pregnancy and was becoming painful. He looked at it
for two seconds and said "it's nothing to worry about." I asked him about
removing it, he basically said it was more trouble than it was worth. Alarm
bells were chiming gently by then. I say gently because I have no
experience in this area, and little experience with doctors in general, and
am intimidated by them and didn't know how to react just then.
The next day, a woman who works at the medical group I belong to came into
my restaurant for lunch. I am friendly with her and told her my concerns,
and she winced when I gave her Dr. D's name. She begged me to switch to Dr.
F, and gave me all the info I needed to do it, even said that she would do
it for me if there were any problems.
I contacted the medical group the next day and spent the hours on the phone
necessary to make the switch to Dr. F. He works with a nurse/midwife who
sees the patients at the medical group. Linda spent a lot of time with me
last week, and she did the legwork to get my blood work to her office which
showed that I am NOT immune to measles! Anyone else here ever dealt with
this? Isn't this something I should have known right away? Dr. D. also
didn't swab me for chlamydia or gonorrhea, and the AFP screening wasn't part
of the blood tests he ordered for me. She ordered all of those and then
looked at my mole on my request, and the upshot is that I am having it
removed and biopsied tomorrow. I also will be scheduled for genetic
counseling. I still will probably decline the amnio, at this point I don't
see the advantage.
I am so glad to have made this switch, but I can't help feeling angry about
Dr. D. and what seems like his negligence. It seemed like Dr. D. was just
waiting around for me to have a miscarriage so he wouldn't have to expend
any effort on me, but I probably will never know.
Other than all that, everything is just fine!! I've gained too much weight
but I'm healthy and happy, so thanks for reading this far if you have, it
feels good to vent...
Wish me luck on the mole removal tomorrow, I feel pretty good that it's just
a pesky mole and just will be glad that it's gone!

Cheers,
Alexis
EDD 4/21/2004, first baby!

Auntie Bubbles wrote:
Hi all, I'm 39 years old and 19 weeks along with my first baby, and have a
few things going on right now. I'm just sort of venting here.

I am glad you found a doctor you are more comfortable with, but I must
confess I am confused about why you are so angry. To me, my health is
my personal responsibility, and if I have a bloodtest done, I will call
back for the results if I don't hear anything. I will also *always* ask
which tests they will perform, and why they are doing them. You cannot
only blame your doctor for not performing tests and not calling you
about test results. It is your body, and you should take responsibility
for it. If you wanted certain tests done, you should have asked if
they were included. IMHO you have been equally negligible as Dr. D.

Of course it is important to have a doctor you feel totally at ease
with. But please do not expect them to be miracle workers that know
all the answers. Do as much reading as you can, educate yourself on
what happens to you during pregancy and childbirth. You are the one
who carries the baby and has to deliver it, and that implies that
*you* make the decisions on what will happen, not your OB/GYN.

--
-- I
mommy to DS (16m)
guardian of DH (32)
TTC #2
War doesn't decide who's right, only who's left

"Ilse Witch" wrote in message
...
Auntie Bubbles wrote:
Hi all, I'm 39 years old and 19 weeks along with my first baby, and
have a
few things going on right now. I'm just sort of venting here.

I am glad you found a doctor you are more comfortable with, but I must
confess I am confused about why you are so angry. To me, my health is
my personal responsibility, and if I have a bloodtest done, I will call
back for the results if I don't hear anything. I will also *always* ask
which tests they will perform, and why they are doing them. You cannot
only blame your doctor for not performing tests and not calling you
about test results. It is your body, and you should take responsibility
for it. If you wanted certain tests done, you should have asked if
they were included. IMHO you have been equally negligible as Dr. D.

Of course it is important to have a doctor you feel totally at ease
with. But please do not expect them to be miracle workers that know
all the answers. Do as much reading as you can, educate yourself on
what happens to you during pregancy and childbirth. You are the one
who carries the baby and has to deliver it, and that implies that
*you* make the decisions on what will happen, not your OB/GYN.

You're right of course. I am angry with myself as well. However, I
pointed out in my post that this is my first pregnancy. I told the Dr. this
as well. I have read this group and other materials every day and am
learning as I go.
The only experience I have had with doctors as an adult has been when I have
needed stitches or was in pain. I have never had health insurance until
now, and no experience with blood tests or other testing of any kind. I
didn't know what the AFP screening was at my first visit, so I didn't know
to ask for it. There is a lot to know in a short time.
I suspect this situation exists for other women who read this group, and I
hope that through my ignorance and your knowledge someone else may be able
to avoid this situation.
I DID trust my Dr. to do what was best for me. I know better now, but I'm
not happy about it.
Thanks for taking the time to reply.
Alexis

Auntie Bubbles wrote:
snip
The only experience I have had with doctors as an adult has been when I have
needed stitches or was in pain. I have never had health insurance until
now, and no experience with blood tests or other testing of any kind. I
didn't know what the AFP screening was at my first visit, so I didn't know
to ask for it. There is a lot to know in a short time.

That's true. But don't despair: there is lots of excellent literature
out there. Unfortunately, there are also so many things you can do,
so many tests you can have done, that it is no surprise you cannot see
the forest for the trees. All the more important to have a doctor who
'fits' you and can help you best.

I DID trust my Dr. to do what was best for me. I know better now, but I'm
not happy about it.

I can totally imagine. I've been in a similar situation, and only in
retrospect I could just kick myself for being so stupid. As pointed
out in another thread, many doctors do not have your best interest in
mind, but their own. Thankfully, this group is full of women (and
some men) who have a good common sense and can help you out if you
just don't know what to do anymore. So good for you that you switched
and are OK with your doctor now, and whenever you have more questions,
don't hesitate to post!

Thanks for taking the time to reply.

Anytime

--
-- I
mommy to DS (16m)
guardian of DH (32)
TTC #2
War doesn't decide who's right, only who's left

"Auntie Bubbles" wrote in message
...
Hi all, I'm 39 years old and 19 weeks along with my first baby, and have
a
few things going on right now. I'm just sort of venting here.
I changed O/B's after my second visit with Dr. D. My first visit (at 11
weeks) was fine, I guess. He answered my questions and gave me a pelvic
exam and pap smear and sent me to the lab for blood work. He asked me to
decide right then and put in writing if I wanted to decline or accept an
amnio,

Wow, I wouldn't lke that either.

and I declined it pending results from the blood tests. I figured
that if they showed anything abnormal I would be notified right away and
could schedule an amnio if needed. I made my second appt. for 4 weeks
later,
and went on my merry way, figuring that if my blood work showed anything
important they would call me.

Usually that's the way it works.


When I went in for my second visit, they discovered that my blood work
hadn't arrived back at their office from the lab yet.

That's annoying. Lab's fault though, not his. Although someone should have
checked before your appointment.

He did say that my
pap smear was normal and let me listen to the heartbeat with the Doppler
device. I asked him to look at a mole on my labia that had been growing
since the start of the pregnancy and was becoming painful. He looked at
it
for two seconds and said "it's nothing to worry about." I asked him about
removing it, he basically said it was more trouble than it was worth.
Alarm
bells were chiming gently by then. I say gently because I have no
experience in this area, and little experience with doctors in general,
and
am intimidated by them and didn't know how to react just then.

If it physically bothers you, that's enough to remove it IMO.

The next day, a woman who works at the medical group I belong to came
into
my restaurant for lunch. I am friendly with her and told her my concerns,
and she winced when I gave her Dr. D's name. She begged me to switch to
Dr.
F, and gave me all the info I needed to do it, even said that she would do
it for me if there were any problems.
I contacted the medical group the next day and spent the hours on the
phone
necessary to make the switch to Dr. F. He works with a nurse/midwife who
sees the patients at the medical group. Linda spent a lot of time with me
last week, and she did the legwork to get my blood work to her office
which
showed that I am NOT immune to measles! Anyone else here ever dealt with
this? Isn't this something I should have known right away?

My sister found out she was not immune to rubella I think when she was TTC.
She got a shot and had to wait 3 months to TTC again. I think you should
have known that before you got pregnant.

Dr. D. also
didn't swab me for chlamydia or gonorrhea,

Not all pap/exams test for everything.

and the AFP screening wasn't part
of the blood tests he ordered for me.

It shouldhave been ordered at your 2nd appointment (15 weeks if I did the
math right).

She ordered all of those and then
looked at my mole on my request, and the upshot is that I am having it
removed and biopsied tomorrow. I also will be scheduled for genetic
counseling. I still will probably decline the amnio, at this point I
don't
see the advantage.
I am so glad to have made this switch, but I can't help feeling angry
about
Dr. D. and what seems like his negligence. It seemed like Dr. D. was just
waiting around for me to have a miscarriage so he wouldn't have to expend
any effort on me, but I probably will never know.
Other than all that, everything is just fine!! I've gained too much
weight
but I'm healthy and happy, so thanks for reading this far if you have, it
feels good to vent...
Wish me luck on the mole removal tomorrow, I feel pretty good that it's
just
a pesky mole and just will be glad that it's gone!

Cheers,
Alexis
EDD 4/21/2004, first baby!

Good luck with the mole. To me it's a lot your Dr's fault but it's also
smart of the patient to be up on things like asking what tests he's doing -
you should know the right answer before you ask

I hope you like your new Dr.

Sophie
#4 due 7/18/04

Auntie Bubbles wrote:

Hi all, I'm 39 years old and 19 weeks along with my first baby, and have a
few things going on right now. I'm just sort of venting here.
I changed O/B's after my second visit with Dr. D. My first visit (at 11
weeks) was fine, I guess. He answered my questions and gave me a pelvic
exam and pap smear and sent me to the lab for blood work. He asked me to
decide right then and put in writing if I wanted to decline or accept an
amnio, and I declined it pending results from the blood tests. I figured
that if they showed anything abnormal I would be notified right away and
could schedule an amnio if needed. I made my second appt. for 4 weeks later,
and went on my merry way, figuring that if my blood work showed anything
important they would call me.
When I went in for my second visit, they discovered that my blood work
hadn't arrived back at their office from the lab yet. He did say that my
pap smear was normal and let me listen to the heartbeat with the Doppler
device. I asked him to look at a mole on my labia that had been growing
since the start of the pregnancy and was becoming painful. He looked at it
for two seconds and said "it's nothing to worry about." I asked him about
removing it, he basically said it was more trouble than it was worth. Alarm
bells were chiming gently by then. I say gently because I have no
experience in this area, and little experience with doctors in general, and
am intimidated by them and didn't know how to react just then.
The next day, a woman who works at the medical group I belong to came into
my restaurant for lunch. I am friendly with her and told her my concerns,
and she winced when I gave her Dr. D's name. She begged me to switch to Dr.
F, and gave me all the info I needed to do it, even said that she would do
it for me if there were any problems.
I contacted the medical group the next day and spent the hours on the phone
necessary to make the switch to Dr. F. He works with a nurse/midwife who
sees the patients at the medical group. Linda spent a lot of time with me
last week, and she did the legwork to get my blood work to her office which
showed that I am NOT immune to measles! Anyone else here ever dealt with
this? Isn't this something I should have known right away?


Well, yes and no. There's nothing you can do about it
at this point except avoid people with measles. Is it measles
or rubella that you're not immune to? I know rubella is a big
problem if you contract the disease, but I'm less sure of the
effects of getting measles while pregnant. Still, you should
have been informed of your results.

Dr. D. also
didn't swab me for chlamydia or gonorrhea,


Whether this is standard varies by practitioner, so
this isn't *necessarily* a big problem, particularly if you're
at low risk for STDs.

and the AFP screening wasn't part
of the blood tests he ordered for me.


This may have been because you declined the amnio,
since AFP is pretty much just a screening test that tells you
if you're at increased risk and might benefit from more
expensive/invasive screening. The AFP has a very high false
positive rate, so many decide it isn't worth the frustration
if you're not going to do additional testing. At your age,
the AFP is almost certainly going to come back "positive."
On the other hand, I've never heard of anyone who asked you
to decline an amnio in writing before ever hearing of other test
results! That sounds very fishy.

She ordered all of those and then
looked at my mole on my request, and the upshot is that I am having it
removed and biopsied tomorrow.


I know nothing about moles and the appropriate
treatment for them.

I also will be scheduled for genetic
counseling. I still will probably decline the amnio, at this point I don't
see the advantage.
I am so glad to have made this switch, but I can't help feeling angry about
Dr. D. and what seems like his negligence. It seemed like Dr. D. was just
waiting around for me to have a miscarriage so he wouldn't have to expend
any effort on me, but I probably will never know.


I doubt it was that, and there's nothing you said that
screams negligence at me, though I think that asking you to
decline amnio so early and not getting you your test results
back promptly certainly doesn't sound good. Of course, he may
be a horrible doctor--I just can't tell from what you've said
so far. Since you friend seemed really horrified by him and
since you like your new caregiver, it sounds like a really good
idea that you switched anyway.

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and birth!
Ericka

Hi Alexis

I wouldn't have phoned up for my test results either - last time I did they
said not to as they would get in touch with me if there was something
wrong - so no call - all good.

As for the mole - I would have thought with all the talk about skin cancer
nowdays he should have been more concerned. Good luck with getting it
removed.

Camille

On Wed, 26 Nov 2003 10:21:38 -0500, Ilse Witch wrote:

You cannot
only blame your doctor for not performing tests and not calling you
about test results.

Yes, you can. Yes, it is my responsibility to be informed. However,
I am *paying* the doctor to be the expert. He is the one who went to
university and medical school to be a doctor. As I always tell my GP,
"You are the one with the training; I am just well read."


--
Daye
Momma to Jayan
"Boy" EDD 11 Jan 2004
See Jayan: http://jayan.topcities.com/

On Wed, 26 Nov 2003 04:10:39 GMT, "Auntie Bubbles"
wrote:

He asked me to
decide right then and put in writing if I wanted to decline or accept an
amnio, and I declined it pending results from the blood tests.

Out of all the things that he did that worried me, this is the most
worrying. I think I would have found another doctor straight away if
my doctor did this.

I am sorry that he was such a crappy doctor. Have you thought of
telling the local medical board or the AMA (I am not sure which
country you are in) about what happened? You were lucky that you had
someone help you. What about those women who aren't? I think I would
lodge a complaint against him.

However, I am glad that you like your new doctor and things seem to be
going better.

--
Daye
Momma to Jayan
"Boy" EDD 11 Jan 2004
See Jayan: http://jayan.topcities.com/

Daye wrote:
On Wed, 26 Nov 2003 10:21:38 -0500, Ilse Witch wrote:

You cannot
only blame your doctor for not performing tests and not calling you
about test results.

Yes, you can. Yes, it is my responsibility to be informed. However,
I am *paying* the doctor to be the expert. He is the one who went to
university and medical school to be a doctor. As I always tell my GP,
"You are the one with the training; I am just well read."

What I meant to say was: you cannot count on all tests you want to
actually be performed. Each doctor has his/her own standard package.
A good physician should automatically explain what and why is included,
just like a 'good' patient will make sure to be somewhat informed, so
they can ask questions. I didn't mean to imply her doctor did a good
job, he was obviously sloppy.

I agree with your POV, I do the same thing. And when a doctor doesn't
appreciate me asking questions, I go and find another

--
-- I
mommy to DS (16m)
guardian of DH (32)
TTC #2
War doesn't decide who's right, only who's left