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#21
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do people not like holding their babies?
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#22
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do people not like holding their babies?
Anne Rogers wrote in message
I didn't think I was an attachment parent, but now I'm probably thinking compared to average I am, he's sociable cos people socialise with him! What about all the other kids that are sociable too, but have spent time in a carseat or stroller? -- Sue mom to three girls |
#23
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do people not like holding their babies?
Then that just goes to show you that there are many ways to parent a child
and the child can actually grow up to be a normal, healthy and very socal person. -- Sue mom to three girls Anne Rogers wrote in message ... I didn't think I was an attachment parent, but now I'm probably thinking compared to average I am, he's sociable cos people socialise with him! What about all the other kids that are sociable too, but have spent time in a carseat or stroller? there's a flaw in every theory |
#24
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do people not like holding their babies?
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#25
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do people not like holding their babies?
Anne Rogers wrote:
I took ds for jabs today, our surgery has a baby clinic for an hour on a Monday so the waiting room was full of babies. It didn't occur to me til I came home that I was the only one actually holding my baby, everyone else came in with them in a buggy, or a car seat, I'd driven, so when I'd parked I took him out of the seat, so much easier than unbuckling it and it's much easier to carry a baby than a huge plastic bucket. In the waiting room no one picked up their babies til they cried, mine never cried, he sat on my lap, played with me smiled at the nurses, took interest in his surroundings and generally got admired by everyone for being sociable. I didn't think I was an attachment parent, but now I'm probably thinking compared to average I am, he's sociable cos people socialise with him! ----------- Anne Rogers On a related note, just the other day the NYT had an editorial on the increasing use of strollers for toddlers (seems like this would apply to other carries, too) I've pasted int he full text becuase I'm not sure how long the link wil be good for. -Nina http://www.nytimes.com/2003/09/06/op...40f44c7d2ad06f No Free Ride for Toddlers September 6, 2003 By WILLIAM CRAIN In "Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care," Drs. Benjamin Spock and Steven J. Parker wrote that "when a baby has learned to walk, it's time to let him out of his carriage or stroller." Numerous child-development experts, from Dr. Maria Montessori to Dr. T. Berry Brazelton, agree that the toddler age - 1 to 3 years - is a time when parents should encourage their children's urge to move around on their own and explore. Today's parents, however, seem bent on keeping their children strapped in strollers long after they have taken their first steps. Every day I see stroller after stroller with children as old as 4 being pushed along, even in parks. Part shopping cart, part storage bin, these strollers are quite a sight: some models can be converted into car seats or pushed while a parent jogs, and many feature cushy seats, one-hand folding mechanisms, cup holders and snack trays. Stroller sales in the United States have been rising over the last few years, despite the troubled economy and generally flat birth rates. Why? Unfortunately there is almost no formal research on the phenomenon, so I recently conducted a small exploratory study of my own, asking pediatricians to administer a brief questionnaire to 114 parents in the Upper West Side of Manhattan, suburban Westchester, the Bronx, Washington, suburban Los Angeles and St. Louis. Overall, 95 percent of the parents reported using strollers for babies under age 1; 94 percent said they used strollers for 1- or 2-year-olds; 75 percent said they used them for 3-year-olds; and 39 percent said they used strollers for 4-year-olds. Convenience and safety were the common explanations. One parent of a 3-year-old said: "I use the stroller when I'm running errands. I don't have time for him to walk around." Several parents of 3- and 4-year-olds said they used the strollers to cover long distances. Some parents with more than one child said it was easier to use a double stroller than to supervise one child walking while wheeling the other. As a father (and grandfather), I understand the appeal of strollers as a safety precaution, particularly in big cities. But keeping children in strollers too long can suppress their growing sense of freedom and curiosity, fostering a dispirited sense of compliance that may plague them for years. (Moreover, strollers themselves can be dangerous; emergency rooms in the United States report nearly 13,000 stroller-related injuries a year.) Toddlerhood is a time when the urges toward independent movement and exploration emerge with tremendous force. Toddlers want to be constantly on the move, seeing what they can find. They want to march along the sidewalk or across the grass. If they spot something interesting, like a leaf, insect or puddle of water, they want to stop and examine it and venture off again. During their excursions, toddlers often stumble and fall, but they bounce back up and keep moving. There's too much to investigate to worry about minor pains. The toddler is a courageous explorer. As their agility increases at ages 3 and 4, children love to run, jump, hop and dance. Going down the sidewalk is a great adventure, and they sometimes sing as they go. Free movement outdoors stimulates their growing imaginations. Parents should try to encourage these important moments in their child's development as much as possible - and they can, by maintaining an unobtrusive presence. When, for example, a toddler marches along the sidewalk or the grass, parents can follow the child's pace, stopping with the child to examine things. The parent can stay close enough to intervene if some danger should arise but remain sufficiently in the background to allow the child to explore the world on her own. Sometimes, of course, parents must take active control, as when they must cope with two children at once or take a child's hand to cross a street. But on many occasions it's sufficient to maintain a quiet, watchful presence, giving the child a chance to move about and make discoveries. This approach, of course, requires patience - but the rewards will be well worth the effort. William Crain, a professor of psychology at City College, is author of "Reclaiming Childhood: Letting Children Be Children in Our Achievement-Oriented Society." |
#26
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do people not like holding their babies?
I agree 100% with Dawn about the obstructiveness of strollers. There have been
times when I could hardly get into our pediatrician's waiting room because several parents were already parked inside with their enormous mobile-home strollers. I have never understood why people either couldn't carry their child the relatively short distance between parking garage and office building, or at least keep an umbrella stroller in the car to use for the doctor's office. I totally agree, it was partly why I started the thread, I felt totally crowded in the waiting room with all the various bits of equipment. Had I walked to the surgery that day, I would have used a stroller, it's 2 miles and I've got a dodgy back, I would have folded it and left it in the corner of reception, which is a much bigger room. I think not carrying a child is a psycological thing in some ways, our son was very small, initially his car seat drowned him so we only could use it for short essential trips in the car, it was also the only way for our buggy at that age, he was too small for our carrier (we didn't have a sling then), we wanted to take him out to introduce him to some friends who lived just round the corner, we really weren't sure whether we should just carry him in our arms, in the end we did, but we did get some funny looks. |
#27
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do people not like holding their babies?
I've pasted int he full text becuase I'm not sure how long the link wil
be good for. I don't think things are quite so bad here, I got a similar impression from reading a book set in New York recently (it was about a nanny of a 4 year old, the stroller went everywhere). I can definitely see that a stroller would be useful sometimes for a slightly older child, perhaps on a long day out or something, in fact on a recent group trip there were 5 children, my son whom was in his stroller whilst he slept when we got there, then in a sling, facing out til he needed to sleep, then in, then nursing whilst we carried on walking round, there were 2 other families, one with a 2 year old and a newborn, the other with 3 and half year old twins, the transport was one tandem buggy and 2 cheap very basic strollers, there was rarely more than 1 child in these 4 seats, the newborn was mainly carried, the 2 year old thought the best thing was to push one of the strollers, the twins were quite tired and each spent some time in the other stroller, the front of the tandem buggy, or on their dad's shoulders, the back of the tandem buggy served as a very useful dumping ground for all our picnic paraphenalia. The strollers were useful, but not confining, each child did plenty of exploring as we wandered around. |
#28
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do people not like holding their babies?
"Anne Rogers" wrote in message ... I've pasted int he full text becuase I'm not sure how long the link wil be good for. I don't think things are quite so bad here, I got a similar impression from reading a book set in New York recently (it was about a nanny of a 4 year old, the stroller went everywhere). I can definitely see that a stroller would be useful sometimes for a slightly older child, perhaps on a long day out or something, in fact on a recent group trip there were 5 children, my son whom was in his stroller whilst he slept when we got there, then in a sling, facing out til he needed to sleep, then in, then nursing whilst we carried on walking round, there were 2 other families, one with a 2 year old and a newborn, the other with 3 and half year old twins, the transport was one tandem buggy and 2 cheap very basic strollers, there was rarely more than 1 child in these 4 seats, the newborn was mainly carried, the 2 year old thought the best thing was to push one of the strollers, the twins were quite tired and each spent some time in the other stroller, the front of the tandem buggy, or on their dad's shoulders, the back of the tandem buggy served as a very useful dumping ground for all our picnic paraphenalia. The strollers were useful, but not confining, each child did plenty of exploring as we wandered around. When we went to Sea World over the summer we took the stroller into the park with us both days we had tickets for. Bub spent maybe 1/4 of his time in it. The rest of the time he was being carried by me or DH, mostly DH because I can't carry his heavy butt for too long because of my back. Anyway, we felt he had a better vantage point in one of our arms, hard for shorty pants to see much if he has to look through a bunch of grown ups behinds lol He was far more interested in looking at the exhibits than playing with whatever we brought along for him to play with while in the stroller. It did serve a great purpose when we went into the park on the 4th to watch the fireworks....I sat in it with Nicolas in my lap Jen |
#29
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do people not like holding their babies?
That actually weighs heavily on when we have a second. I always wanted more
that 2 children, but I am not sure I have enough attention to give to DD and to a new baby, not to mention more.... Don't get me wrong, DD is a wonderful child, and I love the person she is becoming, but she is a handful (attention wise, and she is a daredevil!!). -- Michelle P Ava Marie July 14, 2002 "Nevermind" wrote in message om... "Michelle Podnar" wrote in message ... I always said that DD was a velcro baby. When she was born, she was not happy unless I held her (ALL THE TIME), and at first I was a little exasperated by it (never expected to sleep with my baby, BF until 14 months (still going strong though) etc...) but instead of fighting with her, I just gave her what she needed. Once I did that, parenthood got a lot more fun, and a lot smoother..... I had one like that too, and I also adjusted -- the whole family learned to adjust to it, and it was a drastic change of life for us. However, not all babies are like that. My current one is not, and that's OK by me!! |
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