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How to stop the night wakings?



 
 
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  #1  
Old March 12th 08, 01:22 PM posted to misc.kids
cjra
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Posts: 1,015
Default How to stop the night wakings?

Am I left to resort to scream-it-out?

DD is 20 months, and though she went through a few months of 9-11 hour
sleep stretches, for the past few months she's back to waking up 1-2x
night. Always around 4am, and sometimes around 1am. It's getting
wearing on the whole household, although DH deals with it more than I.

We usually nurse to bed sometime between 7-8pm: we start bedtime
process around 7, but if it's bath night bedtime is a bit later.
Usually this works and she's asleep by 8:30 or so. We were all co-
sleeping, but around about November I realized that the All Night
Booby Buffet was keeping her up, so I moved to another room (we don't
really have a room for her yet, hopefully by August). That made her
start sleeping longer for awhile. If she does wake up DH will either
give her some milk, water, or snuggle and she'd fall back to sleep.
Lately, though, she's been having a harder time falling back to sleep.
If I go in to nurse her to sleep she doesn't really sleep, she just
latches on for hours - if I try to remove my nipple gently she
screams, so I know she's not fully asleep, nor am I

She has a 1-1.5 hour nap at daycare and is fine during the day with
other kids to distract her all day, but she's really cranky when she
gets home and I think that's because she's so tired. She won't take a
second nap (never has).

Apart from the fact I'd like my bed back, I'd like to get her to
sleep! We do put her in a crib which is in our room, but to do that we
have to let her cry. Usually that only takes a few minutes, but it's
not something I'd like to do. Is that going to be our last resort now
for the 4am wakeup?
  #2  
Old March 12th 08, 02:24 PM posted to misc.kids
cjra
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Posts: 1,015
Default How to stop the night wakings?

On Mar 12, 7:22 am, cjra wrote:

Apart from the fact I'd like my bed back, I'd like to get her to
sleep! We do put her in a crib which is in our room, but to do that we
have to let her cry. Usually that only takes a few minutes, but it's
not something I'd like to do. Is that going to be our last resort now
for the 4am wakeup?


let me correct this - at 9pm (which is when we resort to the crib if
she hasn't already fallen asleep), it now only takes a few minutes
before she goes out. But at 4am, the few times we've tried, it's been
30min+ of _screaming_ before we finally give up. So I know it'll take
a long time.
  #3  
Old March 12th 08, 03:46 PM posted to misc.kids
Chris
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Posts: 223
Default How to stop the night wakings?

On Mar 12, 9:24�am, cjra wrote:
On Mar 12, 7:22 am, cjra wrote:

Apart from the fact I'd like my bed back, I'd like to get her to
sleep! We do put her in a crib which is in our room, but to do that we
have to let her cry. Usually that only takes a few minutes, but it's
not something I'd like to do. Is that going to be our last resort now
for the 4am wakeup?


let me correct this - at 9pm (which is when we resort to the crib if
she hasn't already fallen asleep), it now only takes a few minutes
before she goes out. But at 4am, the few times we've tried, it's been
30min+ of _screaming_ before we finally give up. So I know it'll take
a long time.


Babies that age can have nightmares or simply startle themselves with
a dream fall, as they fall quite frequently every day at this age.
They can also be getting their 2-year molars, which can inflame,
subside, inflame again later, etc. I'd get her ears checked if you
haven't already too just to rule it out. I wouldn't let her cry it
out. Move her crib to the side of your bed so that you can reach a
hand in and comfort her telling her shhhh, it's okay, mama's gotchya,
etc. Try some white noise like a small fan. She'll learn that whatever
it is that is waking her (minus anything painful) is only temporary
and nothing to worry about. My 2-y/o loves to hit his Ocean Wonders
mobile button, and he has done so since before the age of 1 actually.
I hear it playing sometimes 4 or 5 times a night on the baby monitor,
but he is obviously able to comfort himself back to sleep with either
the music or the light.
  #4  
Old March 12th 08, 03:49 PM posted to misc.kids
cjra
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Posts: 1,015
Default How to stop the night wakings?

On Mar 12, 9:46 am, Chris wrote:
On Mar 12, 9:24�am, cjra wrote:

On Mar 12, 7:22 am, cjra wrote:


Apart from the fact I'd like my bed back, I'd like to get her to
sleep! We do put her in a crib which is in our room, but to do that we
have to let her cry. Usually that only takes a few minutes, but it's
not something I'd like to do. Is that going to be our last resort now
for the 4am wakeup?


let me correct this - at 9pm (which is when we resort to the crib if
she hasn't already fallen asleep), it now only takes a few minutes
before she goes out. But at 4am, the few times we've tried, it's been
30min+ of _screaming_ before we finally give up. So I know it'll take
a long time.


Babies that age can have nightmares or simply startle themselves with
a dream fall, as they fall quite frequently every day at this age.
They can also be getting their 2-year molars, which can inflame,
subside, inflame again later, etc. I'd get her ears checked if you
haven't already too just to rule it out.


We've had the ears checked often, although the last time was early
Feb. No problems there.

I wouldn't let her cry it
out. Move her crib to the side of your bed so that you can reach a
hand in and comfort her telling her shhhh, it's okay, mama's gotchya,
etc.


That's a good idea..let's see if I can fit the crib there, although
when I sleep in the same room with her now, she knows I'm there but
not as close as she'd like so she screams more. She doesn't so much
when it's just my husband with her.

Try some white noise like a small fan. She'll learn that whatever
it is that is waking her (minus anything painful) is only temporary
and nothing to worry about. My 2-y/o loves to hit his Ocean Wonders
mobile button, and he has done so since before the age of 1 actually.
I hear it playing sometimes 4 or 5 times a night on the baby monitor,
but he is obviously able to comfort himself back to sleep with either
the music or the light.


We have one of these things which she loves, but to her it means 4am
Dance Time. She starts laughing and singing and carrying on. It
doesn't put her back to sleep
  #5  
Old March 12th 08, 03:55 PM posted to misc.kids
[email protected]
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Posts: 85
Default How to stop the night wakings?

On Mar 12, 7:22 am, cjra wrote:
Am I left to resort to scream-it-out?

DD is 20 months, and though she went through a few months of 9-11 hour
sleep stretches, for the past few months she's back to waking up 1-2x
night. Always around 4am, and sometimes around 1am. It's getting
wearing on the whole household, although DH deals with it more than I.

We usually nurse to bed sometime between 7-8pm: we start bedtime
process around 7, but if it's bath night bedtime is a bit later.
Usually this works and she's asleep by 8:30 or so. We were all co-
sleeping, but around about November I realized that the All Night
Booby Buffet was keeping her up, so I moved to another room (we don't
really have a room for her yet, hopefully by August). That made her
start sleeping longer for awhile. If she does wake up DH will either
give her some milk, water, or snuggle and she'd fall back to sleep.
Lately, though, she's been having a harder time falling back to sleep.
If I go in to nurse her to sleep she doesn't really sleep, she just
latches on for hours - if I try to remove my nipple gently she
screams, so I know she's not fully asleep, nor am I

She has a 1-1.5 hour nap at daycare and is fine during the day with
other kids to distract her all day, but she's really cranky when she
gets home and I think that's because she's so tired. She won't take a
second nap (never has).

Apart from the fact I'd like my bed back, I'd like to get her to
sleep! We do put her in a crib which is in our room, but to do that we
have to let her cry. Usually that only takes a few minutes, but it's
not something I'd like to do. Is that going to be our last resort now
for the 4am wakeup?


As a mom to two kids (3.5 & 5yo) I empathize. My kids have never slept
through the night and I've given up. They go to bed at 8pm
consistently and fall asleep on their own. They come to our bed any
time after 2am (time varies) and sleep there until it's morning. I've
learnt to cherish the cuddles because I know pretty soon they will
pretend not to recognize me in public

As long as you are getting adequate sleep and you're okay with it, let
her come to your bed when she wakes up in the middle of the night.
Instead of you going to her, teach her to come to you.
  #6  
Old March 12th 08, 04:06 PM posted to misc.kids
cjra
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 1,015
Default How to stop the night wakings?

On Mar 12, 9:55 am, wrote:
As a mom to two kids (3.5 & 5yo) I empathize. My kids have never slept
through the night and I've given up. They go to bed at 8pm
consistently and fall asleep on their own. They come to our bed any
time after 2am (time varies) and sleep there until it's morning. I've
learnt to cherish the cuddles because I know pretty soon they will
pretend not to recognize me in public


I told myself that for 20 months, but it's no longer flying.

As long as you are getting adequate sleep and you're okay with it, let
her come to your bed when she wakes up in the middle of the night.
Instead of you going to her, teach her to come to you.


That's the problem. We're not getting adequate sleep and we're not ok
with it, which is why I asked for some help. I can live on little,
but almost 2 years of 4-6 hours per night is getting to be a problem.
My husband can't manage on less than 6. We can't function during the
day. I also don't think DD is getting enough sleep, because she's so
cranky at night and clearly tired but won't sleep.

She doesn't need to 'come to us' as 90% of the time she's already in
our bed. Otherwise she's in a crib. She does know how to crawl off a
bed when she's awake, but asleep she moves around so much I don't
trust her in a bed by herself, so she's either with us or in the crib.
  #7  
Old March 12th 08, 06:23 PM posted to misc.kids
Chris
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 223
Default How to stop the night wakings?

On Mar 12, 11:06�am, cjra wrote:
On Mar 12, 9:55 am, wrote:

As a mom to two kids (3.5 & 5yo) I empathize. My kids have never slept
through the night and I've given up. They go to bed at 8pm
consistently and fall asleep on their own. They come to our bed any
time after 2am (time varies) and sleep there until it's morning. I've
learnt to cherish the cuddles because I know pretty soon they will
pretend not to recognize me in public


I told myself that for 20 months, but it's no longer flying.

As long as you are getting adequate sleep and you're okay with it, let
her come to your bed when she wakes up in the middle of the night.
Instead of you going to her, teach her to come to you.


That's the problem. We're not getting adequate sleep and we're not ok
with it, which is why I asked for some help. �I can live on little,
but almost 2 years of �4-6 hours per night is getting to be a problem.
My husband can't manage on less than 6. We can't function during the
day. I also don't think DD is getting enough sleep, because she's so
cranky at night and clearly tired but won't sleep.

She doesn't need to 'come to us' as 90% of the time she's already in
our bed. Otherwise she's in a crib. She does know how to crawl off a
bed when she's awake, but asleep she moves around so much I don't
trust her in a bed by herself, so she's either with us or in the crib.


Hugs to you both! I got lucky there with some sleepers. That's not to
say they didn't have occasional issues, but for the most part,
sleepers. lol. (not trying to rub it in). I'd try the white noise
machine or a fan - I find it helps block out noise, as well as
silence. My last baby was an awesome sleeper because the crib was next
to me and he could probably just be soothed by our breathing/sleeping
noises, but he has been in his own room since age 1 (the same room
though because we converted our family room into a fourth bedroom so
there was no change involved for him) with occasional difficulties.
The other 2 were in their own rooms from pretty much the getgo, the
only exception being the first couple of months with our first (he
would crack open an eye at a week old to see if we were still there!).
lol. I can tell with his cry what has probably occurred - hurting,
sleeping limb with numbness or tingling, scared, etc. He is 2 years
and 5 months old, and he is able to say "it hurts" or hold his
sleeping arm out to me. He definitely doesn't seem to like stone
silence though, hence the tabletop fan in his room pointed into the
closet. All of the kids wound up, and the last one winds up, in our
bed from time to time though. Good luck. Hopefully it will pass soon.
You could try a dose of Tylenol or Motrin just to see if it was due to
teething pain from molars too. You can't always see those ones working
in during the early stages. I have known people who say they haven't
slept a good night since giving birth XX years ago too though. That
gives me shivers!
  #8  
Old March 12th 08, 07:19 PM posted to misc.kids
cjra
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 1,015
Default How to stop the night wakings?

On Mar 12, 12:23 pm, Chris wrote:
On Mar 12, 11:06�am, cjra wrote:



On Mar 12, 9:55 am, wrote:


As a mom to two kids (3.5 & 5yo) I empathize. My kids have never slept
through the night and I've given up. They go to bed at 8pm
consistently and fall asleep on their own. They come to our bed any
time after 2am (time varies) and sleep there until it's morning. I've
learnt to cherish the cuddles because I know pretty soon they will
pretend not to recognize me in public


I told myself that for 20 months, but it's no longer flying.


As long as you are getting adequate sleep and you're okay with it, let
her come to your bed when she wakes up in the middle of the night.
Instead of you going to her, teach her to come to you.


That's the problem. We're not getting adequate sleep and we're not ok
with it, which is why I asked for some help. �I can live on little,
but almost 2 years of �4-6 hours per night is getting to be a problem.
My husband can't manage on less than 6. We can't function during the
day. I also don't think DD is getting enough sleep, because she's so
cranky at night and clearly tired but won't sleep.


She doesn't need to 'come to us' as 90% of the time she's already in
our bed. Otherwise she's in a crib. She does know how to crawl off a
bed when she's awake, but asleep she moves around so much I don't
trust her in a bed by herself, so she's either with us or in the crib.


Hugs to you both! I got lucky there with some sleepers. That's not to
say they didn't have occasional issues, but for the most part,
sleepers. lol. (not trying to rub it in).


pbbbtttthhh!

I'd try the white noise
machine or a fan - I find it helps block out noise, as well as
silence.


Ah yes. I have often considered this and *I* like white noise, but
have a husband who hates it. We had to search for a fan that had NO
noise....I've tried convincing him to sleep in the other room (it's
kind of open, no doors, as it's not really a bedroom, it's just where
we have the spare bed til we finish her room, which is why I can't put
her there), but he claims he can't sleep in that bed. grrrr

My last baby was an awesome sleeper because the crib was next
to me and he could probably just be soothed by our breathing/sleeping
noises, but he has been in his own room since age 1 (the same room
though because we converted our family room into a fourth bedroom so
there was no change involved for him) with occasional difficulties.


DD has slept with us since she came home from NICU (I sometimes wonder
if she's trying to make up for those 3 weeks of not being near
us!)...I had visions of moving her out at about a year but we didn't
get to her room yet. We're finally starting now. She's never been a
good sleeper, and I think now, being near us wakes her up more, that's
why my moving out of the room helped for awhile. It's been lousy ever
since she got croup, got better for awhile, but is now really lousy
again.

The other 2 were in their own rooms from pretty much the getgo, the
only exception being the first couple of months with our first (he
would crack open an eye at a week old to see if we were still there!).
lol. I can tell with his cry what has probably occurred - hurting,
sleeping limb with numbness or tingling, scared, etc. He is 2 years
and 5 months old, and he is able to say "it hurts" or hold his
sleeping arm out to me. He definitely doesn't seem to like stone
silence though, hence the tabletop fan in his room pointed into the
closet. All of the kids wound up, and the last one winds up, in our
bed from time to time though. Good luck. Hopefully it will pass soon.
You could try a dose of Tylenol or Motrin just to see if it was due to
teething pain from molars too. You can't always see those ones working
in during the early stages.


I did think she was teething some of those nights, but tylenol or
motrin don't do much for her. They seem to have no effect. I wonder if
it's because she had such heavy drugs the first week of life (she was
under heavy sedation) that she's too sensitized....I don't know how
valid that is, but I have noticed that the effect of the meds is minor
if at all - if she's really teething it'll calm her down some, but
doesn't help her sleep.

I have known people who say they haven't
slept a good night since giving birth XX years ago too though. That
gives me shivers!



I had such high hopes as it was improving for awhile, but now seems to
be going downhill again. She wasn't eating a lot at nights for awhile,
and I thought that was it, but even when she does eat well, she's
still not sleeping.
  #9  
Old March 12th 08, 10:06 PM posted to misc.kids
Beth Kevles
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Posts: 269
Default How to stop the night wakings?


Hi --

With our kids, we approached things as follows, and had both kids pretty
much sleeping through before age 2:

First, deal with falling asleep at night:
Feed well so the child falls asleep feeling full
Never nurse all the way to sleep
Consistent sleeping place (crib -- I could never sleep through
the night snuffles when in the same room)

Next, deal with morning:
Blackout shades in bedroom
Never feed right on waking. Instead, do morning routine first
(diaper, dress both of us)
Go to kitchen to eat and nurse

Finally, deal with night wakings:
Never feed at night
Be boring at night -- no talking, just "shhh, shhh"
Keep child in crib when he wakes, do not remove to my bed
Let child cry if it doesn't last more than minutes
Consider pain reliever (tylenol, etc) if you suspect teething
pain causing the wakings

The theory is that waking is caused partly by habits that can be
changed. Ie, a child is used to eating right away on waking, so learns
to waken when mildly hungry. But by age two (or earlier) the child
should be able to sleep through a certain amount of hunger.

In the end, we had one night with 10 minutes of crying, one night of two
minutes, and that was it for crying. BUT this was after we had put all
the other steps in place.

Sleeping through the night is GLORIOUS. The kids are 10 and 12 now,
which means we have the opposite problem: getting them out of bed in the
morning.

Good luck,
--Beth Kevles
-THE-COM-HERE
http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic
Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical
advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner.

NOTE: No email is read at my MIT address. Use the GMAIL one if you would
like me to reply.
  #10  
Old March 12th 08, 11:17 PM posted to misc.kids
Stephanie[_2_]
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Posts: 693
Default How to stop the night wakings?


"Beth Kevles" wrote in message
...

Hi --

With our kids, we approached things as follows, and had both kids pretty
much sleeping through before age 2:

First, deal with falling asleep at night:
Feed well so the child falls asleep feeling full
Never nurse all the way to sleep
Consistent sleeping place (crib -- I could never sleep through
the night snuffles when in the same room)



Futher the habot and associate will feel sleepy if it is consistent.

Next, deal with morning:
Blackout shades in bedroom
Never feed right on waking. Instead, do morning routine first
(diaper, dress both of us)
Go to kitchen to eat and nurse

Finally, deal with night wakings:
Never feed at night
Be boring at night -- no talking, just "shhh, shhh"
Keep child in crib when he wakes, do not remove to my bed
Let child cry if it doesn't last more than minutes
Consider pain reliever (tylenol, etc) if you suspect teething
pain causing the wakings

The theory is that waking is caused partly by habits that can be
changed. Ie, a child is used to eating right away on waking, so learns
to waken when mildly hungry. But by age two (or earlier) the child
should be able to sleep through a certain amount of hunger.

In the end, we had one night with 10 minutes of crying, one night of two
minutes, and that was it for crying. BUT this was after we had put all
the other steps in place.

Sleeping through the night is GLORIOUS. The kids are 10 and 12 now,
which means we have the opposite problem: getting them out of bed in the
morning.

Good luck,
--Beth Kevles
-THE-COM-HERE
http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic
Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical
advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner.

NOTE: No email is read at my MIT address. Use the GMAIL one if you would
like me to reply.



 




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