how long to try "cold turkey" potty training

DS was so easy to potty train, I feel completely uneducated, he
announced at 26mths that he was going to use the potty, failed miserably
for the day and was then very successful and our biggest problem was the
fact he was so independent he'd want to clean the potty out into the
toilet and we had a few poo on the walls incidents.

DD being a 2nd child has had potties around her much more and so has
from time to time sat on one and has recently been demanding to be taken
to the big toilet and fighting having a nappy put on, but was never
successful and we always put the nappy on, but on Saturday morning, she
was successful, so being fearful of her getting to an age where it seems
to become a power struggle (I've seen threads on this subject so many
times, I'm probably over anxious), that we decided to jump right in.
I've mostly had her completely naked, or with just a top on and results
have been mixed, though more on the accident side than the success side
:-(. There are positive signs though, she has been dry at nap time
several times and was even dry overnight last night, this morning, she
started to dribble and was able to stop whilst I moved her to the potty,
but there are plenty of failures too and I don't know whether to just
say she's not ready and go back to nappies, or whether having these
accidents is just part of the process of her learning what her body does
and that I should at least give it more time even if we ultimately give up.

She's 25mths and usually wears real nappies.

Any ideas how long I should give it before being confident that she just
isn't ready?

Cheers
Anne

On Jul 10, 8:04?pm, Anne Rogers wrote:
DS was so easy to potty train, I feel completely uneducated, he
announced at 26mths that he was going to use the potty, failed miserably
for the day and was then very successful and our biggest problem was the
fact he was so independent he'd want to clean the potty out into the
toilet and we had a few poo on the walls incidents.

DD being a 2nd child has had potties around her much more and so has
from time to time sat on one and has recently been demanding to be taken
to the big toilet and fighting having a nappy put on, but was never
successful and we always put the nappy on, but on Saturday morning, she
was successful, so being fearful of her getting to an age where it seems
to become a power struggle (I've seen threads on this subject so many
times, I'm probably over anxious), that we decided to jump right in.
I've mostly had her completely naked, or with just a top on and results
have been mixed, though more on the accident side than the success side
:-(. There are positive signs though, she has been dry at nap time
several times and was even dry overnight last night, this morning, she
started to dribble and was able to stop whilst I moved her to the potty,
but there are plenty of failures too and I don't know whether to just
say she's not ready and go back to nappies, or whether having these
accidents is just part of the process of her learning what her body does
and that I should at least give it more time even if we ultimately give up.

She's 25mths and usually wears real nappies.

Any ideas how long I should give it before being confident that she just
isn't ready?

Cheers
Anne

Personally, I would wait until she was dry more often during the
night, which is a good indicator of self-control. Once my daughter
woke up consistently through the night dry, she was just self-potty-
trained all of the time - as simple as that for her, but not for my
son. lol. She was between 18 months and 2 years when she did it, but
my son was more around 3'ish somewhere before accidents were a thing
of the past. Maybe try those cotton training pants during the day,
which aren't the diapers she is resisting, but also promote going to
the real potty?

"Chris" wrote in message
ups.com...
On Jul 10, 8:04?pm, Anne Rogers wrote:
Any ideas how long I should give it before being confident that she
just
isn't ready?

Personally, I would wait until she was dry more often during the
night, which is a good indicator of self-control. Once my daughter
woke up consistently through the night dry, she was just self-potty-
trained all of the time

My daughter was consistently soaked through at night until she was
almost 7 years old! So I don't think that nighttime dryness is an
indicator of daytime readiness. I can't help much though, because I
didn't potty train either of my children. They just did it when they
were ready. It took about a day each. My daughter was 2Y 10M and my
son was 3Y 1M.

Bizby

bizby40 wrote:
"Chris" wrote in message
ups.com...
On Jul 10, 8:04?pm, Anne Rogers wrote:
Any ideas how long I should give it before being confident that she
just
isn't ready?
Personally, I would wait until she was dry more often during the
night, which is a good indicator of self-control. Once my daughter
woke up consistently through the night dry, she was just self-potty-
trained all of the time

My daughter was consistently soaked through at night until she was
almost 7 years old! So I don't think that nighttime dryness is an
indicator of daytime readiness.

I would agree. If they're staying dry through the
night, that's certainly a positive sign, but I don't think
it's a negative sign if they're not dry through the night.

I can't help much though, because I
didn't potty train either of my children. They just did it when they
were ready. It took about a day each. My daughter was 2Y 10M and my
son was 3Y 1M.

Personally, I wouldn't wait all *that* long. I
always think you're best off if you keep getting closer
to where you want to go, rather than further away. Continuing
a situation where accidents are commonplace doesn't seem like
a positive development, and seems ripe with the possibility
to create additional hurdles for the future.
Letting them go bare bottomed can only work if they
really are ready and the only thing holding them back is
that they just haven't made the connection in their head
with what it feels like when they need to go. They need
to be able to identify that feeling *and* have the ability
to hold it until they get to the potty. If they can hold
it, but just need to put two and two together, that ought
to happen fairly quickly--I would think within a couple of
days, max. If they're not successful quickly, I would
strongly suspect that there's some part of the equation
they just aren't ready for yet.

Best wishes,
Ericka

"Ericka Kammerer" wrote in message
. ..
bizby40 wrote:
I can't help much though, because I didn't potty train either of my
children. They just did it when they were ready. It took about a
day each. My daughter was 2Y 10M and my son was 3Y 1M.

Personally, I wouldn't wait all *that* long. I
always think you're best off if you keep getting closer
to where you want to go, rather than further away. Continuing
a situation where accidents are commonplace doesn't seem like
a positive development, and seems ripe with the possibility
to create additional hurdles for the future.
Letting them go bare bottomed can only work if they
really are ready and the only thing holding them back is
that they just haven't made the connection in their head
with what it feels like when they need to go. They need
to be able to identify that feeling *and* have the ability
to hold it until they get to the potty. If they can hold
it, but just need to put two and two together, that ought
to happen fairly quickly--I would think within a couple of
days, max. If they're not successful quickly, I would
strongly suspect that there's some part of the equation
they just aren't ready for yet.

I'm confused Ericka about whether you are responding to me here or to
the OP. Mine didn't have accidents, and trained in a day because they
were ready to. It's not like we didn't bring up the subject before
then, but I was in no real hurry, and knew way too many people who
struggled for months with potty training, so I waited until they were
able to train themselves. Their ages were not out of line with what
is typical in the US, and I'm not the least bit sorry that I did it
the way I did.

Bizby

Personally, I would wait until she was dry more often during the
night, which is a good indicator of self-control. Once my daughter
woke up consistently through the night dry, she was just self-potty-
trained all of the time - as simple as that for her, but not for my
son. lol. She was between 18 months and 2 years when she did it, but
my son was more around 3'ish somewhere before accidents were a thing
of the past. Maybe try those cotton training pants during the day,
which aren't the diapers she is resisting, but also promote going to
the real potty?

like others have said, I don't think night time dryness is any kind of
indicator, particularly when they sleep as long as my DD does at night,
she's often asleep over 12 hours. Daytime naptime dryness may well be
more of an indicator, but even then it's pretty common for kids to wet
at nap time beyond training.

The reason I don't want to spend money on the cotton training pants is
because I wouldn't be able to tell when she's gone any better than in
nappies and she doesn't have the idea of pulling anything down so for
her it wouldn't be a change, it is if they've been in disposables, as
suddenly they feel wet, but she's used to that.

Cheers
Anne

Personally, I wouldn't wait all *that* long. I
always think you're best off if you keep getting closer
to where you want to go, rather than further away. Continuing
a situation where accidents are commonplace doesn't seem like
a positive development, and seems ripe with the possibility
to create additional hurdles for the future.
Letting them go bare bottomed can only work if they
really are ready and the only thing holding them back is
that they just haven't made the connection in their head
with what it feels like when they need to go. They need
to be able to identify that feeling *and* have the ability
to hold it until they get to the potty. If they can hold
it, but just need to put two and two together, that ought
to happen fairly quickly--I would think within a couple of
days, max. If they're not successful quickly, I would
strongly suspect that there's some part of the equation
they just aren't ready for yet.

I think she's actually holding on and holding on and isn't able to let
go whilst on the potty, because she's voluntarily sitting on the potty,
sitting there for several minutes, quite obviously trying, then is
disappointed not to have gone, so today for example, she didn't go at
all between 1pm and bedtime, though she had plenty to drink. Just right
now, I don't think anything negative is occurring. I'm quite motivated
to get her trained if it's possible due to her nappy rash problems, I've
mentioned it on here, we did eventually get it to go away for a month or
so, but it's flared back up again and has obviously improved over the
last 4 days, so as long as there are no negative effects, I'm inclined
to keep on for a few days to see if we can get that fully healed, though
I have a horrible suspicion she'll have wet fairly early in her sleep
tonight and will be wet all night :-(.

Cheers
Anne

It happens to be the main thing to look for cited by my pediatrician
as a good first indicator. Considering if a child is definitely able
to hold their urine overnight for 8 hours and more, you can be almost
absolutely certain they can hold it for 3 hours here and there
throughout the day as well. Also, taking into consideration the
average child doesn't have nighttime wetting accidents for that length
of time, no that wouldn't be the case in your child's case and
therefore not a good indicator of daytime readiness. The problem in
that case is more so the duration of time sleeping, soundness of
sleep, growth rates of the organs and child, etc. It can be a good
indicator within reason and IS a good indicator that the child has in
fact established bladder control considering the duration differences
from night to day -- it is just something to look for.


My daughter was consistently soaked through at night until she was
almost 7 years old! So I don't think that nighttime dryness is an
indicator of daytime readiness. I can't help much though, because I
didn't potty train either of my children. They just did it when they
were ready. It took about a day each. My daughter was 2Y 10M and my
son was 3Y 1M.

Bizby

On Jul 11, 12:57?am, Anne Rogers wrote:
Personally, I wouldn't wait all *that* long. I
always think you're best off if you keep getting closer
to where you want to go, rather than further away. Continuing
a situation where accidents are commonplace doesn't seem like
a positive development, and seems ripe with the possibility
to create additional hurdles for the future.
Letting them go bare bottomed can only work if they
really are ready and the only thing holding them back is
that they just haven't made the connection in their head
with what it feels like when they need to go. They need
to be able to identify that feeling *and* have the ability
to hold it until they get to the potty. If they can hold
it, but just need to put two and two together, that ought
to happen fairly quickly--I would think within a couple of
days, max. If they're not successful quickly, I would
strongly suspect that there's some part of the equation
they just aren't ready for yet.

I think she's actually holding on and holding on and isn't able to let
go whilst on the potty, because she's voluntarily sitting on the potty,
sitting there for several minutes, quite obviously trying, then is
disappointed not to have gone, so today for example, she didn't go at
all between 1pm and bedtime, though she had plenty to drink. Just right
now, I don't think anything negative is occurring. I'm quite motivated
to get her trained if it's possible due to her nappy rash problems, I've
mentioned it on here, we did eventually get it to go away for a month or
so, but it's flared back up again and has obviously improved over the
last 4 days, so as long as there are no negative effects, I'm inclined
to keep on for a few days to see if we can get that fully healed, though
I have a horrible suspicion she'll have wet fairly early in her sleep
tonight and will be wet all night :-(.

Cheers
Anne- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

If wetting early in the night is causing the rash problem, she should
return back to sleep fairly easily after a quick diaper change in the
dark before you turn in for the night.

Anne Rogers wrote:
DS was so easy to potty train, I feel completely uneducated, he
announced at 26mths that he was going to use the potty, failed
miserably for the day and was then very successful and our biggest
problem was the fact he was so independent he'd want to clean the
potty out into the toilet and we had a few poo on the walls incidents.

DD being a 2nd child has had potties around her much more and so has
from time to time sat on one and has recently been demanding to be
taken to the big toilet and fighting having a nappy put on, but was
never successful and we always put the nappy on, but on Saturday
morning, she was successful, so being fearful of her getting to an
age where it seems to become a power struggle (I've seen threads on
this subject so many times, I'm probably over anxious), that we
decided to jump right in.

I think your instincts are good. Some kids just won't be ready until their
fourth year but if they can be ready before their third birthday there is
less chance of them working out how much of a choice they have in the
matter!

I've mostly had her completely naked, or with just a top on and
results have been mixed, though more on the accident side than the
success side :-(. There are positive signs though, she has been dry
at nap time several times and was even dry overnight last night, this
morning, she
started to dribble and was able to stop whilst I moved her to the
potty, but there are plenty of failures too and I don't know whether
to just say she's not ready and go back to nappies, or whether having
these
accidents is just part of the process of her learning what her body
does and that I should at least give it more time even if we
ultimately give up.
She's 25mths and usually wears real nappies.

I'm sure that makes a difference to their awareness of wetness.


Any ideas how long I should give it before being confident that she
just isn't ready?


I'd give it a week at most, based on my own experiences, especially at that
age.

My three trained themselves in a couple days when they were ready at 28
month, 28 months and 35 months. The middle one was probably ready earlier
and worked it out on our first attempt but I waited until she was the same
age as her big brother before even trying. He took two or three unsuccessful
goes of several days each with a gaps of a month or two between attempts
then another try. My youngest took the longest and went from peeing down his
leg and sitting in it in total unconcern to being dry within a half-day
between late November and early January. (I didn't bother trying over
Christmas.)

Pick a week where you'll be around home most of the time so there aren't
too many opportunities of needing to go in strange or stressful places. I
put mine in big-kid undies but would leave off shorts/trousers when were
were at home rather than taking the bare bottom approach. I think they
needed to feel wet rather than just pee and walk away from the dampness. If
she doesn't catch on she isn't ready and there's no need to suffer through
months of inconvenient puddles, imo. Mind you, it is nice if they can time
their triumph to over the summer months!

Also, I never used a potty with my children and we went straight to a
step-stool seat on the big toilet. When we were out I'd just hold them on a
toilet until they were adept enough to balance on their own. We never had a
lot of sitting around reading books and chatting while waiting for nature to
take its course. (In case it isn't obvious I made the process as convenient
for me as possible!)

I think the daytime nap dryness is a good indicator your daughter is ready
or getting close but night dryness can follow a very different pattern to
day dryness. My boys were 4 and 4 1/2 respectively but my daughter was over
7. As far as I can remember she never had a daytime accident at all.

Good luck!

Tai