Advice about a 2nd baby!!

Sue wrote:
Have your thyroid checked out.
--


Excellent suggestion. i can't believe I didn't think of it - both my
mother and sister have a thyroid deficiency.

Also, I wouldn't worry about the # of bedrooms. When I was little, my
parents had 5 children in a 3 bedroom house. Three of us slept in one
room, the two babies (a year apart) slept in cribs in my parents' room
and they had a whole room left over for a guest room. We moved when I
was eight - otherwise, I assume they'd have put a couple of us into the
guest room. My sister and brother and I loved sleeping in the same room
- we always had somebody to talk to when we went to bed.

Clisby



Clisby

Dave Leason wrote:
Thank you all for helpful and understanding advice!
I know I worry far too much and I get stressed far to easily!
Our DD has often said she would want a new baby in her room! dont know how
she would take to it waking her up in the night but our other option was to
put crib in our room for a few months then when a sleep pattern is
established move baby to Ella's room!


I'd recommend keeping the baby in your room for a few months anyway,
regardless of which room it's going to end up in. When they're little
and waking a lot at night, it's a lot easier not to have to trek down
the hall after them. I always felt safer with them in my room, too - I
could hear them better.

Clisby

"Clisby" wrote in message
...


Dave Leason wrote:
Thank you all for helpful and understanding advice!
I know I worry far too much and I get stressed far to easily!
Our DD has often said she would want a new baby in her room! dont know
how
she would take to it waking her up in the night but our other option was
to
put crib in our room for a few months then when a sleep pattern is
established move baby to Ella's room!


I'd recommend keeping the baby in your room for a few months anyway,
regardless of which room it's going to end up in. When they're little
and waking a lot at night, it's a lot easier not to have to trek down
the hall after them. I always felt safer with them in my room, too - I
could hear them better.

Clisby


That's what we did with #3 and will do with #4 - have them in a bassinette
in our room till they don't fit in it anymore.

Do we just 'go for it' so to speak??? I think I worry too much for someone
of my age!

I just read a saying: "Money cannot give you children" and there is no
bigger truth than that. Whether you live in a tiny 2-bedroom apartment
or a mansion, your baby won't care. We live in a 2-bedroom, and I see no
problems there should we ever have a 2nd baby. DS has his own bedroom,
the baby will sleep with us for the first year or so anyway and then
they can share the other room.

The PPD may be a whole other issue, but if you feel in your heart you
want another baby, I think you should just give it a try. Now that you
know PPD, you can prepare better and recognize it much earlier, making
treatment a lot easier and the effects lighter.

another big problem, but embarassing is my lack of 'wanting' sex! i dont
know why, but ive been like it since after DD was born, if i can avoid it I
will! and obviously if we want to TTC I need to be 'wanting' sex but not
just for the sake of having a baby!

That's a big issue, since without BD there will be no baby. Is it all
about the sex, or do you also feel you don't want any intimacy like
cuddling and kissing? Perhaps if you start to build up slowly, you will
rediscover yourself. It may just be 'stagefright' that is keeping you
and taking small steps could easily get you over that.

My impression is you do worry a lot. If I have that, I usually write it
down, so I no longer have my worries in my head and can think straight
again. Also, seeing them written down on paper makes them easier to deal
with, and the solutions are somehow clearer.

--
--I.

On Thu, 8 Jan 2004 22:22:01 -0000, "Dave Leason"
wrote:

And thank you Sophie about house advice! guess i just wanted to someone to
say 'its ok your not depriving your child by it not having its own room' and
you did that for me!

She beat me to it! I was going to say that it's a relatively recent
trend for children to have their own room and if you do go on to have
a second child even if number 2 is a boy it would be a few years
before you (or they) started to have a problem, by which time you may
have a bigger place anyway.

Anecdotally, I have friends with room-sharing children and none of
them feels deprived!
--
Linz
YB: 11 weeks, around 13lbs

"Linz" wrote in message
...
On Thu, 8 Jan 2004 22:22:01 -0000, "Dave Leason"
wrote:

And thank you Sophie about house advice! guess i just wanted to someone
to
say 'its ok your not depriving your child by it not having its own room'
and
you did that for me!

She beat me to it!

Haha!

I was going to say that it's a relatively recent
trend for children to have their own room and if you do go on to have
a second child even if number 2 is a boy it would be a few years
before you (or they) started to have a problem, by which time you may
have a bigger place anyway.

Yep, my daughter and son share. My daughter and 2nd son shared for a while.
Whatever #4 is it will be sharing with my daughter for a while. I don't
see why people (not the OP, people in general) get weird about small
children and babies of opposite genders sharing.


Anecdotally, I have friends with room-sharing children and none of
them feels deprived!
--
Linz
YB: 11 weeks, around 13lbs

I've had plenty of adults tell me they shared as kids and didn't mind at
all.

In article ,
Linz wrote:

On Thu, 8 Jan 2004 22:22:01 -0000, "Dave Leason"
wrote:

And thank you Sophie about house advice! guess i just wanted to someone to
say 'its ok your not depriving your child by it not having its own room' and
you did that for me!

She beat me to it! I was going to say that it's a relatively recent
trend for children to have their own room and if you do go on to have
a second child even if number 2 is a boy it would be a few years
before you (or they) started to have a problem, by which time you may
have a bigger place anyway.

Anecdotally, I have friends with room-sharing children and none of
them feels deprived!

And I have several sets of friends with 2 kids and 4 bedrooms where both
kids share a bedroom! This surprised me, but they all really like it.

For the 4 bedroom family, they have a 5yo and a 3yo who share one
bedroom that's just for sleeping and clothes, one bedroom is a shared
playroom with all the toys, and the third bedroom is a guest room with a
TV where the kids can watch a video. And the 4th bedroom is the
parents', of course.

Not what I would have thought of, but it seems to work great for them.

- Lynn

And I have several sets of friends with 2 kids and 4 bedrooms where both
kids share a bedroom! This surprised me, but they all really like it.

For the 4 bedroom family, they have a 5yo and a 3yo who share one
bedroom that's just for sleeping and clothes, one bedroom is a shared
playroom with all the toys, and the third bedroom is a guest room with a
TV where the kids can watch a video. And the 4th bedroom is the
parents', of course.

Not what I would have thought of, but it seems to work great for them.

- Lynn

I would love to have enough rooms to have a playroom but I know the toys
would never stay in there and neither would the kids. They love to be in
the living room where everything is going on. sigh

Dave Leason wrote in message
. ..
Hi there.
I have been a lurker here for a few years, ive mostely posted in
uk.people.pregnancy.
I am 22 years old, live with my long term partner and we have a DD who
turned 2 in october.
A bit of background!! (boring sorry) I moved from Wales to England 3
years
back for a job, without family or friends, just me and my partner! We
bought
our own house, it was newly built and it has 2 bedrooms.
We didnt plan it but we got pregnant after a few months of moving in,
never
regretted it and love DD.

After a very easy labour and delivery i suffered for a long long time with
PND, and still have bad days now, not suprising when im so far away from
family. I have now been in a new job for a year and it is a job i want
for
life, a future for my career, I am a nursery nurse for the NHS caring for
severly ill children who come for respite care.
I only work 18 hours a week and my MIL usualy has DD during that time.

Well anyway, down to the real reason for writing this post!! We are
feeling
quite broody now, I always swore I wouldnt have any more after the
suffering
I went through, but I find it so strange that these feelings of wanting
another baby are so strong, I also find it quite frightening! The main
reason is seeing DD with her new nephew and a friends new son , for about
6
months DD has been obsessed with babies, even tels people mummy has one in
her tummy! Its so lovely seeing her with babies and telling me stories
about
where they come from, even though she is only 2.

my main worry is our house, its only a 2 bedroom, have any of you had/have
2
children while in a 2 bedroom house? obviously one room is ours, the
others
is DD, we never had DD sleep in with us, she was in her own room from
birth
but what did you do with 2 children but not enough rooms? Me and partner
are marrying in July and we have seriously been thinking about maybe TTC
after the wedding. But I am scared of so many things, being young with 2
children, although I love being a mum, being so far from family, having
not
a very good social circle, re occuring PND, small house.
the only things I know would be great is DD would love another baby and
would be a great big sister, and I also feel secure with my career now,
knowing I could go back part time as I work part time anyway!

Do we just 'go for it' so to speak??? I think I worry too much for
someone
of my age!
another big problem, but embarassing is my lack of 'wanting' sex! i dont
know why, but ive been like it since after DD was born, if i can avoid it
I
will! and obviously if we want to TTC I need to be 'wanting' sex but not
just for the sake of having a baby!

Im sorry this has been so long but I dont have anyone around to talk to
and
so many issues float around my head!

Thank you
Kellie mum to Ella-Jai aged 26 months


Personally I'd say wait until after the wedding before ttc. You'll have
enough to think about till then, although it would be a lovely thing to
announce in the speeches.
We want 3 children (actually I want 4 but dh isn't biting!) and have a 3 bed
house. One of those bedrooms is so small we have difficulty fitting the
junior bed in. I can't see the prices in Surrey letting up for us to buy a
bigger house. Dh shared a bedroom with his 2 brothers until they moved when
he was about 13. I don't think it would be a problem.
Try going back to Wales-the housing might be cheaper!!! (Anyway it's nice
there!)
Debbie

lynn wrote in message ...
In article ,
Linz wrote:

On Thu, 8 Jan 2004 22:22:01 -0000, "Dave Leason"
wrote:

And thank you Sophie about house advice! guess i just wanted to someone to
say 'its ok your not depriving your child by it not having its own room' and
you did that for me!


And I have several sets of friends with 2 kids and 4 bedrooms where both
kids share a bedroom! This surprised me, but they all really like it.

For the 4 bedroom family, they have a 5yo and a 3yo who share one
bedroom that's just for sleeping and clothes, one bedroom is a shared
playroom with all the toys, and the third bedroom is a guest room with a
TV where the kids can watch a video. And the 4th bedroom is the
parents', of course.

Not what I would have thought of, but it seems to work great for them.

- Lynn

Our 5 and 7 year old have shared a room since the second one was born.
We lived in a 3 bedroom house at the time and wanted to keep a guest
room/office. DS#2 was 2 years old before he consistently slept
through the night, but the night wakings didn't seem to bother DS#1
hardly at all. Every now and then, DS#2 would have a particularly bad
night and if it woke up his brother, we'd tell him to go sleep on the
couch. He loved it. To him, that was a real treat. It was like a
slumber party, just no guests.

We moved to a 4 bedroom house when they were 3 and 5, and they still
wanted to share. Some of my favorite moments come when I stand in the
hallway and listen to them chatting before they fall asleep. It's
very precious. When our third son came along, the older two begged to
have him in their room also. Since we had an empty room, we decided
we might as well use it, so the baby does have his own room, but if we
didn't have that space, I would have no hesitation about putting all
three together.

~ Sher