A sad good bye.

"Denise" wrote in message
...



I'm really, honestly things..

Oops, should be sorry




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Stephanie and Tim wrote:

breasfeeding is important, and this is a great place to get help
and support. But there is more to parenting and being a person
than breatsfeeding. For some of us anyway.



meow


What does "meow" mean in this context? Thanks.


I would say that Dawn felt that your implication that those of us who feel
breastfeeding is very important also feel that breastfeeding is ALL
parenting is about and/or that parents who don't breastfeed are bad, was
catty. At least, that's how I saw your remark.

--
tristyn
www.tristyn.net
"i have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.
i do not think that they will sing to me."

I can certainly sympathise because I had a baby that seemed like she
was attached to the breast for 3 uninterrupted months :-) and a 3 year
old. I did feel bad about not giving the 3 year old near as much
attention for those 3 months.

I think you should still reconsider and get off those pills. You
should bounce back really quick at this point. I think if you cannot
handle all the time breastfeeding, you should supplement a little
rather than giving it up 100%. I feel very strongly that that would be
the very best thing to do right now in light of the flu that is going
around, since breast milk gives immunities to your baby and he is in a
high risk group for complications. I would personally be scared stiff
about giving up bf right now.

I have been unable to find a flu vaccine for my 3 year old, so I am
planning to give her some pumped milk every day to help protect her
from getting the flu as severely.

Even if you could just give your son a little bit of pumped milk every
day that would be some immunities to help him.

KC


"K-K ~Glass Boobs~" wrote in message news:_k1Cb.665800$9l5.12412@pd7tw2no...
Yes I caved, I tried my best but my DD and DH didn't like the miserable
person I was becoming. I was told to let him stay at the breast along as he
wanted and that left me with 1 hour of nursing every 2 hours and I still had
to pop I'm off because he would not stop! My DD began to loathe me, and my
DH also felt neglected. not to mention I was lucky if I got in a shower and
was beginning to neglect my self. I'm sure most of you know that self
neglect is a good path to postpartum depression. It was to the point where I
would just cry during the feedings and that would effect my letdown. My
daughter pestering me would also hinder a letdown and my poor DS was
beginning to suffer. On Monday the stress levels in my house were so high
that I was constantly trying to feed DS because I was not letting down for
most of the feeds of the day and judging by him I could tell the tension was
dwindling my supply. I am disappointed in my self that I could not go any
further but am also glad he atleast got a month of nursing. Since we have
switched to Formula my DS is a completely different child! he's quiet when
he is alert and content most of the time.

Please, I know I failed so if you could please in any responses try to avoid
rubbing it in my face.

I just want to say thanks all for your support for 1 month! I needed it and
appreciated it.

K-K

K-K ~Glass Boobs~ wrote:

it is not a small thing, it was a big deal! Nevermind my dh, my daughter was
suffering greatly because of this. I great cure would be to put her in
preschool a couple afternoons a week but we cant afford it and are just
barely above the financial standards for any type of subsidy. I have looked
at many routes to try and make this better on every one.

So are you getting the formula for free?

I'm not going to address the decision you've made; I hope everything
turns out okay for you, and for your baby.

For anyone who hasn't had a second child and is wondering how they can
handle breastfeeding and child-rearing, it certainly can be done. It's
been done for millenia, after all. It isn't always easy (but then
having more than one child isn't always easy, no matter how the child is
fed), but it is possible to give each of your children what they need
(and breastmilk is most certainly a *need*.) Slings or other
baby-carriers that allow you to continue on with life while
nursing/holding the baby are the solution to that problem, not giving
the baby an inferior food so the older child won't trash the house. But
like Mary S's husband says, "it's a commitment."


Emily

I read this entire thread before I went to work this morning, now I've had
the whole car journey to muse over it and think of my comments.

First of all, stop taking the meds to dry you up, seems like they either
won't work when you stop them, or there is a high risk of bad side
effects.

This would leave you free to mixed feed, which from the point of view of
ease and convienience is the best of both worlds, it's not without
problems, but if you can feed him at nap time, bed time, breakfast etc and
give him a bottle other times, you save some money and some faff of making
bottles.

Finally, whilst all our responses indicate it's best to let him unlatch
himself, when other needs are greater, switching sides and burping in
between sides whenever sucking stops for a short time can make the feed
much quicker.

Oh and, definitely get checked out for PPD, ask yourself, does the normal
you behave like this? Formula feeding might be just delaying the
inevitable. I know at the start of my PPD there were a couple of events
that delayed it's really obvious onset for a couple of weeks, but in the
end it was inevitable.

Anne

Oh and, definitely get checked out for PPD, ask yourself, does the normal
you behave like this? Formula feeding might be just delaying the
inevitable. I know at the start of my PPD there were a couple of events
that delayed it's really obvious onset for a couple of weeks, but in

the
end it was inevitable.

I agree with this advice. See someone about PPD. You sound very stressed and
unhappy. Regardless of what happens with the bfing [and, when you are feeling
better, you may or may not feel like trying again -- it's up to you -- but DO
stop the dry-up pills if you are still taking them. They can only do you harm]
you need to get this taken care of. Nursing a baby, even frequently, should not
be this misery-inducing, and the fact that it is suggests that there is
something else going on unrelated to the breastfeeding problems.
(And too, if you can manage it, pumping a few times a day would not be an
unreasonble thing to consider. It would not be as stressful and time consuming
as the constant feeding, it would provide you with a little milk to offer your
baby, and if you DO decide to give combi-feeding a try, it will maintain your
supply. [And if not, you can just continue to pump/offer EBM as long as you
wish, or you can just wean yourself from pumping just as you weaned the baby
from the breast.]


Naomi
CAPPA Certified Lactation Educator

(either remove spamblock or change address to to e-mail
reply.)

K-K ~Glass Boobs~ wrote in message ...
Thanks for those who were understanding. My house is a much more nice place
for others to be. When your husband dreads coming home because DD has torn
up the house and mom is crying while nursing the baby you know something
NEEDS to change.


I think it seems that it's your dh who needs to change...when there's a baby
a dh should expect some neglect and a torn-up home...my third baby was my
hardest, but luckily dh knew I wouldn't lavish all my attention onto him and
the house lol. He actually helped some!
Marie

"K-K ~Glass Boobs~" wrote in message
news:_naCb.671430$9l5.651181@pd7tw2no...
Why cant I be a bit disappointed in my self not being able to handle
breast
feeding and a family life at the same time?
I am going through a bunch of emotions! I am glad to have more free time
to
spend with my DD and DH! but I am ashamed and disappointed that I couldn't
last bf'ing longer, emotionally it was more than I can handle.
I weighed all the pros and cons and well it came out with more cons if I
continued to bf.

You can. I am not sure why you are replying to my post with this, though.

SNIP

You situation is stressful. You came to this newsgroup, one whose sole
purpose is for the support of breastfeeding, to seek sympathy for your
choice to formula feed. And from some of us, you got it. From others, you
did not. Not a great surprise, since this IS usenet. You chose a solution
for your situation as is your perogative, nay your duty, as a parent. Others
would choose other solutions to the same problems. These are problems that
many or all of us have faced too. Others are simply sharing with you there
opinions.

You are doing fine, though you do not seem particularly young for the
responsibilities you took on to me.

S

"K-K ~Glass Boobs~" wrote in message
news:7xaCb.665374$6C4.338699@pd7tw1no...
in bold (IT IS NOT HIS RESPONSIBILITY TO KEEP THE ENTIRE FAMILY TOGETHER!
HE
IS SUPPORTIVE, YOU DON'T KNOW HIM OR ME FOR THAT MATTER. THERE IS ONLY SO
MUCH ANY ONES DH CAN TAKE, AND NO PUNY CUP OF HOT CHOCOLATE CAN CONSOLE ME
AFTER SPENDING THE DAY WITH A DAUGHTER WHO IS CRYING BECAUSE I AM
NEGLECTING
HER. THERE ARE ONLY SO MANY TIMES READING HER A BOOK WHILE IM NURSING WILL
AMUSE A 3.5 YEAROLD, AND IM SICK OF USING T.V AS A BABYSITTER.)

it is not a small thing, it was a big deal! Nevermind my dh, my daughter
was
suffering greatly because of this. I great cure would be to put her in
preschool a couple afternoons a week but we cant afford it and are just
barely above the financial standards for any type of subsidy. I have
looked
at many routes to try and make this better on every one.
I am only 22
DH is 26
DD is almost 4
DS is 4.5 weeks
We own a house
We own a new car
We are doing very well for people so young, and its hard and stressful to
deal with all of these (new) responsibilities. Maybe I'm not mature enough
to be completely selfless, maybe I'm not mature enough to figure out how
to
bf and take care of my family. Regardless, I am trying my best.

"badgirl" wrote in message
news:FR8Cb.367876$ao4.1233531@attbi_s51...

"K-K ~Glass Boobs~" wrote in message
news:kP7Cb.663747$6C4.568845@pd7tw1no...


Thanks for those who were understanding. My house is a much more nice
place
for others to be. When your husband dreads coming home because DD has
torn
up the house and mom is crying while nursing the baby you know
something
NEEDS to change.

K-K



I would think that change needs to come from DH. Instead of dreading
coming
home he could be somewhat more understanding. nstead of telling you that
the
house is trashed he could just pick up and deal with it. Instead of
letting
you cry he could make you a cup of hot chocolate and take the 3YO for an
hour or two for you.
I don't see your problems as being BF problems, I see them as being DH
problems. He needs to be the one to support you now and I'm truely sorry
that he isn't. I'm sorry for you, I'm sorry for your baby and I'm sorry
for
your whole family unit. If he won't support you in something as *small*
(in
the whole picture) as this, what happens when something major comes
along?

Jen
*who can't STAND unsupportive husbands*

"Denise" wrote in message
...

"K-K ~Glass Boobs~" wrote in message
news:7xaCb.665374$6C4.338699@pd7tw1no...
in bold (IT IS NOT HIS RESPONSIBILITY TO KEEP THE ENTIRE FAMILY
TOGETHER!
HE
IS SUPPORTIVE, YOU DON'T KNOW HIM OR ME FOR THAT MATTER. THERE IS ONLY
SO
MUCH ANY ONES DH CAN TAKE, AND NO PUNY CUP OF HOT CHOCOLATE CAN CONSOLE
ME
AFTER SPENDING THE DAY WITH A DAUGHTER WHO IS CRYING BECAUSE I AM
NEGLECTING
HER. THERE ARE ONLY SO MANY TIMES READING HER A BOOK WHILE IM NURSING
WILL
AMUSE A 3.5 YEAROLD, AND IM SICK OF USING T.V AS A BABYSITTER.)


I'm really, honestly things didn't work out for you. Have you considered
maybe getting screened for PPD? What do you suppose other moms with more
than one child do while they nurse?


Hey, I am camping on here... but this has been on my mind. What DO you do
when you nurse? I can nurse DD in the sling, but not hands free. It really
does not allow me to do much with DS but read. He likes to read, but not all
day. I used to be able to do run around vigorous play with him. He is
feeling the fact that I devoted the lion's share of my attention to him
before DD was born. Really, the only time I did housework was when he was
napping. Some of the things I can do are
- read
- do crafts to some limited extent. He prefers that Mom or Dad paint or draw
the things he likes to see. He is not that interested in crafts that he
wants to do them himself.
- plunk my 3 mo old in front of my excercise video (music and colors) that
she likes and play trains.

For me, the attention DD requires is not limited to nursing. I kind of think
that a baby may need less attention than I am giving her, whcih is almost
constant. But she cries if left in her seat, with or without toys, for more
than 2 minutes. The funnest thing for her is to talk (goo gaa etc) with Mom.
I know for a fact that she hangs out happily at daycare, the one day she has
been there. What is different at home?

Its good that you are doing so well for
your age, but honestly, age has nothing to do with maturity, or parenting,

I'm 35 and I am still radically irresponsible.

or the ability to handle responsibilities, or make commitments.. etc. I'm
24. I have 3 kids and 1 on the way. My husband's 31, he's been in the
Navy
for 14 years and we own stuff. Does that make me or him better parents
than
you or anyone else? No. Parenting isn't a competition. If you're happy,
good. You don't need to make excuses for making decision. Part of being
an
adult is making decisions for your family. You did. Good. Don't make
excuses to appease others.





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