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Rant: the attachment parenting explosion
Ok, since my wife stays home we talked about it at length
and decided to try co-sleeping and alot of other Sear's recommendations. What can I say now? At 8months, our DS won't sleep unless mom is there in bed with him. Sear's recommends that we keep co-sleeping until the baby asks for their own bed but because of financial reasons the wife needs to work and that means either a baby sitter or daycare. The only problem is he's too attached. As his father, I can usually soothe him and get him to bed at night but he's so excited during the day that only his mommy can calm him and help him nap. At night, within 60minutes I can get him to bed. My wife with him can do this in less than a 1/2hr usually. Actually, he cries hysterically if he's left alone for more than 10 seconds. I'm guessing that he needs to gain some level of comfort in being left alone before we can tackle the sleep problem. No? Basically, 1st let him build the association that being alone in a safe area for a little while is a-ok. I'm reading the "Healty Sleep Habits, Healty Baby" book by Weisenbaum (think I butchered the title). |
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Rant: the attachment parenting explosion
Nan wrote:
Uhm, this has little to nothing to do with "attachment parenting", as your "rant" is about. It sounds more like "seperation anxiety" to me. It has more to do with your child's temperament than anything else. If you're looking for options, I've heard positive comments about "The No Cry Sleep Solution", as well. The author's name escapes me, but I'm sure you can locate it at a bookstore, or at your library. Elizabeth Pantley. -- Brigitte aa #2145 edd #3 February 15, 2004 http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/j/joshuaandkaterina/ "Readers are plentiful; thinkers are rare." ~ Harriet Martineau |
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Rant: the attachment parenting explosion
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the attachment parenting explosion
wrote in message ... Ok, since my wife stays home we talked about it at length and decided to try co-sleeping and alot of other Sear's recommendations. What can I say now? At 8months, our DS won't sleep unless mom is there in bed with him. Sear's recommends that we keep co-sleeping until the baby asks for their own bed but because of financial reasons the wife needs to work and that means either a baby sitter or daycare. The only problem is he's too attached. As his father, I can usually soothe him and get him to bed at night but he's so excited during the day that only his mommy can calm him and help him nap. At night, within 60minutes I can get him to bed. My wife with him can do this in less than a 1/2hr usually. We're pretty AP oriented and DH has always been better at putting DS to sleep than I. Of course, I could do it by BF'ing, but DS would wake up as soon as I tried to leave, whereas he slept perfectly for DH. DH could put DS to bed in 5 minutes flat, whereas it took me up to 45 minutes. I was shocked the first time I saw him do it. Nowadays, I follow DH's routine. He was so much better at it than I. How long have you been at it? Maybe it would just take you some time to get DS used to a new routine? Try doing the sleep routine differently from your wife. You may find something that works for you and only you. DH was at a lost at first because he said he couldn't BF DS to sleep, but he found a way. Hang in there! |
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the attachment parenting explosion
wrote in message ... Ok, since my wife stays home we talked about it at length and decided to try co-sleeping and alot of other Sear's recommendations. I don't quite get the "explosion" part of your title. Your issue is an individual one, not one that has anything to do with supposed trends. Anyway..... What can I say now? At 8months, our DS won't sleep unless mom is there in bed with him. Sear's recommends that we keep co-sleeping until the baby asks for their own bed but because of financial reasons the wife needs to work and that means either a baby sitter or daycare. The only problem is he's too attached. As his father, I can usually soothe him and get him to bed at night but he's so excited during the day that only his mommy can calm him and help him nap. At night, within 60minutes I can get him to bed. My wife with him can do this in less than a 1/2hr usually. My spouse and I have different ways of getting our child to sleep. We always have. If using your wife's way does not work, it may just be because the child associates that action with his mom. If it doesn't work for you, then try a different approach, like one recommended on the thread or in books mentioned. As long as both parents philospohically agree with each method, then all should be okay. Actually, he cries hysterically if he's left alone for more than 10 seconds. I'm guessing that he needs to gain some level of comfort in being left alone before we can tackle the sleep problem. No? Probably. Such a reaction to being left along is very common at that age. Basically, 1st let him build the association that being alone in a safe area for a little while is a-ok. I'm reading the "Healty Sleep Habits, Healty Baby" book by Weisenbaum (think I butchered the title). Though it didn't work for me, the "No Cry Sleep Solution" has worked for many others and is a good resource. P. Tierney |
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Rant: the attachment parenting explosion
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the attachment parenting explosion
On Thu, 08 Jan 2004 23:44:05 -0500, Nan wrote:
On Thu, 08 Jan 2004 22:20:19 -0600, toto wrote: On 8 Jan 2004 09:42:05 -0800, (Kane) wrote: 8 months? He's ahead of schedule. That kind of separation anxiety usually doesn't happen until about 12 to 15 months in children treated to non-attachment parenting. It's perfectly normal. BS, Kane. Many children go through separation and stranger anxiety between 6 to 10 months. The range may go up to 15 months, but it is quite normal at 8 months. Ah, I knew there was a reason Kane was still in my idiot-bin. g Pickeee, pickeee, pickeee. I was speaking averages and peaks. Just how exact do you require me to be to keep you silly twits happy? grin And you might want to contemplate the circumstances...the poster's state of mind and intent. Or you can tell me the serious and irreversible harm my comments might cause. That'll help the supplicant. R R R R R Nan I can't think of anyone I would more perfer being in the twit filter of, by the way. Kane |
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Rant: the attachment parenting explosion
In article ,
calliaz wrote: wrote: I'm reading the "Healty Sleep Habits, Healty Baby" book by Weisenbaum (think I butchered the title). I liked some of the Weisbluth book for the information, but I also thought that the majority of his "process" was hooey. I much preferred _The No Cry Sleep Solution_ for process. I thought much of the advice in Weisbluth's book was valuable: setting up a soothing routine (time-limited!), putting the child in bed and quietly leaving. If the child cries and you're reasonably sure they don't have a wet/soiled diaper or have dropped their special blanket/pacifier/whatever on the floor, you let the kid cry it out.....for up to an hour. If you have to go back in at any point, you *don't* play with or sing to the child -- be as boring as you can. This method worked wonders with my twins. (Although I had to go in and be boring for a few minutes at 4am today because the girls are still worked up over going back to preschool now that vacation is over :-() Many of Weisbluth's observations have proved to be true for my girls: if they're tired they don't go to sleep as easily and don't sleep as long. If they're well-rested they will sleep 12 hours a night and take a 2-3 hour nap. The trick for me has been to be firm about naptime and bedtime; making exceptions (like during the recent vacation) leads to disrupted sleep for a while. Hope this helps, and good luck! - marty (mom to alex & andie, almost 3) |
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Rant: the attachment parenting explosion
Marty Billingsley wrote:
In article , calliaz wrote: wrote: I'm reading the "Healty Sleep Habits, Healty Baby" book by Weisenbaum (think I butchered the title). I liked some of the Weisbluth book for the information, but I also thought that the majority of his "process" was hooey. I much preferred _The No Cry Sleep Solution_ for process. I thought much of the advice in Weisbluth's book was valuable: setting up a soothing routine (time-limited!), putting the child in bed and quietly leaving. If the child cries and you're reasonably sure they don't have a wet/soiled diaper or have dropped their special blanket/pacifier/whatever on the floor, you let the kid cry it out.....for up to an hour. If you have to go back in at any point, you *don't* play with or sing to the child -- be as boring as you can. This method worked wonders with my twins. (Although I had to go in and be boring for a few minutes at 4am today because the girls are still worked up over going back to preschool now that vacation is over :-() See, I couldn't do crying it out for an hour. However, I like the soothing/bedtime routine and the being boring part. I'm not completely against crying it out in a small measure (for us it depends on the type of cry and we *never* let him cry in a screaming or frantic way). I think 5 mins is the longest we have ever went and it might be more like 3. Our DS gets what I think are night terrors (he's screaming frantically, standing, and appears to be half-asleep). Just going in and calming him with some rocking works wonders. If you left him to cry it out, he'd become wide awake. Many of Weisbluth's observations have proved to be true for my girls: if they're tired they don't go to sleep as easily and don't sleep as long. If they're well-rested they will sleep 12 hours a night and take a 2-3 hour nap. The trick for me has been to be firm about naptime and bedtime; making exceptions (like during the recent vacation) leads to disrupted sleep for a while. This is the part of the book that I really appreciated and thought was valuable. In the early months, I was very careful not to let C go longer than 2 hours without trying to get him to nap. I'm also a big believer in the concept that better and longer sleep begets better and longer sleep. I really try to work with DS's natural rhythms to develop patterns that we can turn into a schedule. Jennifer in AZ mom to C, 10 months |
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Rant: the attachment parenting explosion
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