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When to let kids meet new girlfriend
Excuse me if this question has been asked before, but when is the
appropriate time to let children meet a person you are dating? My ex and I have some disagreements about this. I feel that I should be in a relationship long enough to know that it has the potential to be lasting before I subject my daughter (6 years old) to meeting the person I am dating. I don't believe that my daughter should be exposed to every person I go out with, or her mother, just for a matter of convenience. My ex wife has dated three different guys over the past five months, and now my ex is with someone new again. I asked her to please give her relationships time before having the person around my daughter, but the new guy is already wanting to go to my daughter's T-Ball games, etc. Am I crazy for thinking that it's unfair to my daughter to be exposed to these guys so quickly? Am I unreasonable thinking that my ex should wait six months or whatever amount of time it takes to see if the relationship will turn serious? |
#2
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When to let kids meet new girlfriend
Strutter wrote:
Excuse me if this question has been asked before, but when is the appropriate time to let children meet a person you are dating? My ex and I have some disagreements about this. I feel that I should be in a relationship long enough to know that it has the potential to be lasting before I subject my daughter (6 years old) to meeting the person I am dating. I don't believe that my daughter should be exposed to every person I go out with, or her mother, just for a matter of convenience. My ex wife has dated three different guys over the past five months, and now my ex is with someone new again. I asked her to please give her relationships time before having the person around my daughter, but the new guy is already wanting to go to my daughter's T-Ball games, etc. Am I crazy for thinking that it's unfair to my daughter to be exposed to these guys so quickly? Am I unreasonable thinking that my ex should wait six months or whatever amount of time it takes to see if the relationship will turn serious? No, you are not being unreasonable |
#3
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When to let kids meet new girlfriend
On Apr 23, 6:36�pm, "Strutter" wrote:
Excuse me if this question has been asked before, but when is the appropriate time to let children meet a person you are dating? *My ex and I have some disagreements about this. *I feel that I should be in a relationship long enough to know that it has the potential to be lasting before I subject my daughter (6 years old) to meeting the person I am dating. *I don't believe that my daughter should be exposed to every person I go out with, or her mother, just for a matter of convenience. *My ex wife has dated three different guys over the past five months, and now my ex is with someone new again. *I asked her to please give her relationships time before having the person around my daughter, but the new guy is already wanting to go to my daughter's T-Ball games, etc. *Am I crazy for thinking that it's unfair to my daughter to be exposed to these guys so quickly? *Am I unreasonable thinking that my ex should wait six months or whatever amount of time it takes to see if the relationship will turn serious? In my opinion yes, absolutely, parents should wait long enough to get to know this person much better before subjecting their children to not only the heartbreak of continous loss and instability created when the relationship does not last and the child begins to build a relationship with the person themselves,but very importantly , because it takes a while to know for sure these people you bring into your childrens lives will not be a danger to them! You just can not know a person well enough in less than a year and that may not be enough time to really be sure things will work out! You are being very responsible to your childs mental,emotional and physical health ! Your ex wife should know better, shame on her ! Bev |
#4
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When to let kids meet new girlfriend
"'Kate" wrote in message
news On Mon, 23 Apr 2007 18:36:31 -0500, Strutter wrote for all to see: How much child-free and non-work time do you each (the parents) have? What does that have to do with her introducing my daughter to people on first dates, etc.? My ex works 30 hrs./week and has family that will take care of my daughter any time my ex will let them. I don't live close to my daughter, but I use every minute of three weeks of vacation to see my daughter. I also pay $8K/year in child support and another $6K/year in traveling expenses to be with my daughter. My 39 year old ex wife introducing her 25 year old boyfriends to my daughter just rubs me the wrong way a little. Especially since those relationships don't seem to be lasting too long. |
#5
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When to let kids meet new girlfriend
On Apr 23, 11:08�pm, "Strutter" wrote:
"'Kate" wrote in message news On Mon, 23 Apr 2007 18:36:31 -0500, Strutter wrote for all to see: snipped� I also pay $8K/year in child support and another $6K/year in traveling expenses to be with my daughter. *My 39 year old ex wife introducing her 25 year old boyfriends to my daughter just rubs me the wrong way a little. *Especially since those relationships don't seem to be lasting too long. Ya know......I thought you were thinking of your daughter when you posted about your ex's introducing her b/f's to the child. Now I see why your shorts are really in a knot. 8K a year in CS and 6K a year in traveling expenses does not make up for the limited amount of time you are spending with your child.Move closer, you can spend more time with your daughter ,save your 6K in traveling expenses,mind your own business about who your Ex is dating and you might feel better. |
#6
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When to let kids meet new girlfriend
"Bev" wrote in message
oups.com... On Apr 23, 11:08?pm, "Strutter" wrote: "'Kate" wrote in message news On Mon, 23 Apr 2007 18:36:31 -0500, Strutter wrote for all to see: snipped? I also pay $8K/year in child support and another $6K/year in traveling expenses to be with my daughter. My 39 year old ex wife introducing her 25 year old boyfriends to my daughter just rubs me the wrong way a little. Especially since those relationships don't seem to be lasting too long. Ya know......I thought you were thinking of your daughter when you posted about your ex's introducing her b/f's to the child. Now I see why your shorts are really in a knot. 8K a year in CS and 6K a year in traveling expenses does not make up for the limited amount of time you are spending with your child.Move closer, you can spend more time with your daughter ,save your 6K in traveling expenses,mind your own business about who your Ex is dating and you might feel better. Honestly, I'm glad that I am able to provide for my daughter, and I didn't say anything to the contrary. My only point in bringing up the money was to illustrate that I am being responsible and staying active in my daughter's life even though I live 1000 miles away. It's difficult. I am concerned about strange men floating in and out of my daughter's life. I don't care who my ex dates or how many people she dates, but I have read that young children tend to love easily and it can be damaging to the child's trust and ability to form relationships later in life. I don't want that for my daughter, and she already talks about some of the guys. How do you explain when Johnny-Come-Lately doesn't come around anymore? Like I said, I don't care who my ex dates. I have a problem with the fact that there have been so many lately, and they are all around my daughter. I don't think it's right, and I don't see how my mention of child support and traveling expenses changes that fact and turns me into the bad guy. My ex seems to be on a trend of dating young guys that dump her after they get what they want from her. Would you expose your child to that over and over? I just want her to give a relationship time before my daughter is introduced into the picture. Not that it's any of your business, but I am working toward living close to my daughter. Finding the right job doesn't happen overnight most of the time. I can't help that they live in an econimically depressed area. -- Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com |
#7
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When to let kids meet new girlfriend
"Strutter" wrote in message .. . "Bev" wrote in message oups.com... On Apr 23, 11:08?pm, "Strutter" wrote: "'Kate" wrote in message news On Mon, 23 Apr 2007 18:36:31 -0500, Strutter wrote for all to see: snipped? I also pay $8K/year in child support and another $6K/year in traveling expenses to be with my daughter. My 39 year old ex wife introducing her 25 year old boyfriends to my daughter just rubs me the wrong way a little. Especially since those relationships don't seem to be lasting too long. Ya know......I thought you were thinking of your daughter when you posted about your ex's introducing her b/f's to the child. Now I see why your shorts are really in a knot. 8K a year in CS and 6K a year in traveling expenses does not make up for the limited amount of time you are spending with your child.Move closer, you can spend more time with your daughter ,save your 6K in traveling expenses,mind your own business about who your Ex is dating and you might feel better. Honestly, I'm glad that I am able to provide for my daughter, and I didn't say anything to the contrary. My only point in bringing up the money was to illustrate that I am being responsible and staying active in my daughter's life even though I live 1000 miles away. It's difficult. I wonder where I put that clipped ad from the paper that said raising children was easy... Hafta look into that... I am concerned about strange men floating in and out of my daughter's life. I don't care who my ex dates or how many people she dates, Apparently you do. You're not too crazy about your ex, nearing her 50's, IIRC, dating these younger guys who dump her. (quoted: "My ex seems to be on a trend of dating young guys that dump her after they get what they want from her.") but I have read that young children tend to love easily and it can be damaging to the child's trust and ability to form relationships later in life. I don't want that for my daughter, and she already talks about some of the guys. How do you explain when Johnny-Come-Lately doesn't come around anymore? Maybe you should just sit your daughter down and explain to her that Mommy's a big, mean jerk and likes to date people that are old enough to be her father, yet are half her Mommy's age. Explain to her that Mommy just wants some of these guys for grown up reasons, but her 'boyfriends' only want to get what they want and move on. Like I said, I don't care who my ex dates. Like you did say, apparently you do care whom your ex dates. I have a problem with the fact that there have been so many lately, and they are all around my daughter. I don't think it's right, and I don't see how my mention of child support and traveling expenses changes that fact and turns me into the bad guy. You're the one that brought it up. Glorifying child support payments around here won't get you any hero biscuits, awards or applause. My ex seems to be on a trend of dating young guys that dump her after they get what they want from her. B-b-but... I thought you said you didn't care who dates who! You're talking circles. How do you know she gets dumped after putting out? Or do these guys want her money... And take it and leave... Or her shoes. Take them and run. Her time - there's never enough time as it is, those greedy guys!!! Would you expose your child to that over and over? I never have and I never will, so this question was an easy one. I just want her to give a relationship time before my daughter is introduced into the picture. If your ex is leading the reckless lifestyle with your daughter, maybe she'd be willing to let the kid live with you and you can provide a stable home without people in and out, in and out and your ex can go off living her life however she wants. Not that it's any of your business, but I am working toward living close to my daughter. Finding the right job doesn't happen overnight most of the time. I can't help that they live in an econimically depressed area. And I bet they live in an economically depressed area that stretches about 1000 miles every direction from them, right? |
#8
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When to let kids meet new girlfriend
"Strutter" wrote in message ... Excuse me if this question has been asked before, but when is the appropriate time to let children meet a person you are dating? My ex and I have some disagreements about this. I feel that I should be in a relationship long enough to know that it has the potential to be lasting before I subject my daughter (6 years old) to meeting the person I am dating. I don't believe that my daughter should be exposed to every person I go out with, or her mother, just for a matter of convenience. My ex wife has dated three different guys over the past five months, and now my ex is with someone new again. I asked her to please give her relationships time before having the person around my daughter, but the new guy is already wanting to go to my daughter's T-Ball games, etc. Am I crazy for thinking that it's unfair to my daughter to be exposed to these guys so quickly? Am I unreasonable thinking that my ex should wait six months or whatever amount of time it takes to see if the relationship will turn serious? I just noticed this... You put the subject as "When to let kids meet new girlfriend" yet is this about your girlfriend? Is your ex a lesbian? We've had a few topics lately on here about bi and heck, I think there was even a mention or three about quad-gendered or something. Does your ex date lesbian males who get what they want from her then leave? I'm a bit of a Confusedasaurus Rex. |
#9
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When to let kids meet new girlfriend
"xkatx" wrote in message
news:rwtXh.22558$j%5.11733@edtnps90... "Strutter" wrote in message .. . "Bev" wrote in message oups.com... On Apr 23, 11:08?pm, "Strutter" wrote: "'Kate" wrote in message news On Mon, 23 Apr 2007 18:36:31 -0500, Strutter wrote for all to see: snipped? I also pay $8K/year in child support and another $6K/year in traveling expenses to be with my daughter. My 39 year old ex wife introducing her 25 year old boyfriends to my daughter just rubs me the wrong way a little. Especially since those relationships don't seem to be lasting too long. Ya know......I thought you were thinking of your daughter when you posted about your ex's introducing her b/f's to the child. Now I see why your shorts are really in a knot. 8K a year in CS and 6K a year in traveling expenses does not make up for the limited amount of time you are spending with your child.Move closer, you can spend more time with your daughter ,save your 6K in traveling expenses,mind your own business about who your Ex is dating and you might feel better. I wonder where I put that clipped ad from the paper that said raising children was easy... Hafta look into that... I was referring to the distance issue specifically. I am concerned about strange men floating in and out of my daughter's life. I don't care who my ex dates or how many people she dates, Apparently you do. You're not too crazy about your ex, nearing her 50's, IIRC, dating these younger guys who dump her. (quoted: "My ex seems to be on a trend of dating young guys that dump her after they get what they want from her.") Okay, I care because of my daughter. If my daughter wasn't involved, then I wouldn't care at all. Better? Maybe you should just sit your daughter down and explain to her that Mommy's a big, mean jerk and likes to date people that are old enough to be her father, yet are half her Mommy's age. Explain to her that Mommy just wants some of these guys for grown up reasons, but her 'boyfriends' only want to get what they want and move on. I only say positive things about my ex to our daughter. Like I said, I don't care who my ex dates. Like you did say, apparently you do care whom your ex dates. See above. I have a problem with the fact that there have been so many lately, and they are all around my daughter. I don't think it's right, and I don't see how my mention of child support and traveling expenses changes that fact and turns me into the bad guy. You're the one that brought it up. Glorifying child support payments around here won't get you any hero biscuits, awards or applause. I wasn't glorifying it, and I'm sorry I mentioned it, because it totally detracted from what I was asking for opinions about. I didn't realize it was such a touchy issue, and that I would be immediately judged differently for mentioning a mere number. B-b-but... I thought you said you didn't care who dates who! You're talking circles. How do you know she gets dumped after putting out? Or do these guys want her money... And take it and leave... Or her shoes. Take them and run. Her time - there's never enough time as it is, those greedy guys!!! Like I said, I don't care other than the effect on my daughter. I know she gets dumped, because I'm the one she calls when she's upset. We do get along very well, but we strongly disagree on this particular issue. It's why I came here for opinions. My ex doesn't have any money. I never have and I never will, so this question was an easy one. So why are you jumping my case for not wanting my daughter exposed to certain things? I just want her to give a relationship time before my daughter is introduced into the picture. If your ex is leading the reckless lifestyle with your daughter, maybe she'd be willing to let the kid live with you and you can provide a stable home without people in and out, in and out and your ex can go off living her life however she wants. My ex lives her life how she wants now. And I bet they live in an economically depressed area that stretches about 1000 miles every direction from them, right? Of course not. When the right opportunity opens, then I'll be there. I only came here looking for honest opinions, whether the same as mine or not, but it seems to have turned into a personal attack on me. Perhaps I'm not the best at expressing myself, but I'm the best father I know how to be. -- Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com |
#10
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When to let kids meet new girlfriend
"xkatx" wrote in message
news:rytXh.22559$j%5.21495@edtnps90... "Strutter" wrote in message ... Excuse me if this question has been asked before, but when is the appropriate time to let children meet a person you are dating? My ex and I have some disagreements about this. I feel that I should be in a relationship long enough to know that it has the potential to be lasting before I subject my daughter (6 years old) to meeting the person I am dating. I don't believe that my daughter should be exposed to every person I go out with, or her mother, just for a matter of convenience. My ex wife has dated three different guys over the past five months, and now my ex is with someone new again. I asked her to please give her relationships time before having the person around my daughter, but the new guy is already wanting to go to my daughter's T-Ball games, etc. Am I crazy for thinking that it's unfair to my daughter to be exposed to these guys so quickly? Am I unreasonable thinking that my ex should wait six months or whatever amount of time it takes to see if the relationship will turn serious? I just noticed this... You put the subject as "When to let kids meet new girlfriend" yet is this about your girlfriend? Is your ex a lesbian? We've had a few topics lately on here about bi and heck, I think there was even a mention or three about quad-gendered or something. I was typing quickly and meant to use "girlfriend/boyfriend." Little bit angry aren't you. Does your ex date lesbian males who get what they want from her then leave? I'm a bit of a Confusedasaurus Rex. You don't have to be ****ed at me because of whatever happened to you. I'm a good father and a good person. |
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