mixed feelings about total bottle rejection

PattyMomVA wrote:
"Melania" wrote and I snipped:
Well, it's official. After four months of taking EBM from a bottle
without too much fuss, ds#2 has decided that really boob is the only
way to go. The last three times he's been left with a bottle of EBM,
he's fussed and refused it most stubbornly. And don't get me started on
the failed attempts to give him formula (since expressing is such a
pain for me) on the odd time I've left him. Total revulsion, which
makes me proud but also annoys a bit, since it curtails the amount of
time I can leave him.

Oh, well. He's 5 months old now. Another month and then he'll be
starting solids, and he can have a sippy cup of water then, and between
those he should be able to tie himself over if I go out for 2+ hours.

At 5 months old, I wouldn't worry about leaving him without drink/food. I
think that if he was hungry, he'd take the bottle (or cup as others have
suggested).

You would think - and I'm sure that's true, but I don't want to test
the theory by leaving him for long enough that he's desperate. Twice
now I've gotten home to a frazzled caregiver with a baby that's been
screaming blue murder and fighting the bottle with every ounce of
strength, who then nurses like mad on both sides and goes to sleep -
once was with a friend who has similarly aged kids, but the other time
was with my babysitter, who called her mom to come help her (they live
in the building).

He's fed on demand since birth, without me ever looking at the clock,
and he tends to cluster feed and eat irregularly. All of which means
that I can't just tank him up before I leave, or schedule things to
line up "after a feeding." When it has worked out that he ate right
before I left him, like this morning when I went to the doctor, he does
fine while I'm gone. But I was only gone for 1.5 hours this morning,
and he did nurse a lot when I got back. It's very rare that he would go
more than 2-3 hours day or night without nursing, and in this he's like
#1, who continued to nurse 8-12x per day till he was at least a year
old.

My best friend took a 5-month maternity leave with her 2nd DD.
When she went back to work, her baby wasn't taking a bottle at all. The
providers tried all manner of ways to get her to take formula, but she
refused. So, she went without until she reconnected with Mom. In the end,
I don't think it was an issue.

My aunt's second born was the same. She went back to work when he was 6
mo, and he wouldn't take a bottle. She's a teacher and lives near the
school, so she would just nurse in the morning, come home for lunch and
nurse, and then nurse again after school. He nursed till he was 2.5 yo,
too.


So, I'd recommend not worrying over 2+
hours. How has your DS#2 acted other than when he was confronted with the
bottle?

I'm not sure what you mean. He's generally okay when I'm gone, but he
is a bit more of a Mama's baby than ds#1 was at this age. He goes
through periods where only Mommy will do, for snuggles and playing as
well as feeding. Is 5 months too young for him to be missing me when
I'm away? #1 never seemed to (although now of course he melts down
whenever I leave).

Thanks,
Melania

Melania wrote:

He's fed on demand since birth, without me ever looking at the clock,
and he tends to cluster feed and eat irregularly. All of which means
that I can't just tank him up before I leave, or schedule things to
line up "after a feeding." When it has worked out that he ate right
before I left him, like this morning when I went to the doctor, he
does fine while I'm gone.

The things that worked somewhat for my bottle refusing baby:
Don't leave at night. That was always a disaster :-)
Don't even offer the bottle. That just reminded him of what he was missing
and really upset him. It was better to offer water from a cup when he was
older or just rock or do whatever to comfort him.

I worked so was gone a long time. By 6 months he was more used to it but
since it was regular he also reverse cycled which was a mixed blessing.

Is 5 months too young for him to be missing me when
I'm away? #1 never seemed to (although now of course he melts down
whenever I leave).

Not in my experience.

--
Nikki
Hunter 4/99
Luke 4/01
EDD 4/06

"Melania" wrote and I snipped:
PattyMomVA wrote:
So, I'd recommend not worrying over 2+
hours. How has your DS#2 acted other than when he was confronted with
the
bottle?

I'm not sure what you mean. He's generally okay when I'm gone, but he
is a bit more of a Mama's baby than ds#1 was at this age. He goes
through periods where only Mommy will do, for snuggles and playing as
well as feeding.

I was asking how your baby would act if you were away for 2+ hours and he
was not even offered a bottle. I think you mentioned that he groused at the
bottle when it was offered, but I don't remember if he was acting okay
outside of that. If he's fine otherwise, I wouldn't worry about being away.
For one thing, he won't starve during your outing, even if it did last 5, 6,
7 hours. For another thing, it won't be very long before he could have a
small amount of solid food to tide him over.

-Patty, mom of 1+2

"Melania" wrote in message
oups.com...
Well, it's official. After four months of taking EBM from a bottle
without too much fuss, ds#2 has decided that really boob is the only
way to go. The last three times he's been left with a bottle of EBM,
he's fussed and refused it most stubbornly. And don't get me started on
the failed attempts to give him formula (since expressing is such a
pain for me) on the odd time I've left him. Total revulsion, which
makes me proud but also annoys a bit, since it curtails the amount of
time I can leave him.

Oh, well. He's 5 months old now. Another month and then he'll be
starting solids, and he can have a sippy cup of water then, and between
those he should be able to tie himself over if I go out for 2+ hours.

Man, though, I need a break from the little people once in a while, you
know?

Melania

My ds also took a bottle until 4 months - when I was starting to go back to
work! What a pain. We wound up training him on the sippy and a straw cup -
they both worked really well for us.

Now my 2.5 month old dd is refusing a bottle - I am going to the store today
to pick up various kinds of nipples, but we may wind up with the same thing
for her pretty soon . . . And I have to start back to work the first Sat in
Nov, so I don't have a lot of time to figure it out!

PattyMomVA wrote:
"Melania" wrote and I snipped:
PattyMomVA wrote:
So, I'd recommend not worrying over 2+
hours. How has your DS#2 acted other than when he was confronted with
the
bottle?

I'm not sure what you mean. He's generally okay when I'm gone, but he
is a bit more of a Mama's baby than ds#1 was at this age. He goes
through periods where only Mommy will do, for snuggles and playing as
well as feeding.

I was asking how your baby would act if you were away for 2+ hours and he
was not even offered a bottle. I think you mentioned that he groused at the
bottle when it was offered, but I don't remember if he was acting okay
outside of that. If he's fine otherwise, I wouldn't worry about being away.
For one thing, he won't starve during your outing, even if it did last 5, 6,
7 hours. For another thing, it won't be very long before he could have a
small amount of solid food to tide him over.

-Patty, mom of 1+2

Oh, I see what you mean. From what I understand, he was acting okay
until he started acting hungry, at which point he was offered the
bottle, and then he got incensed. I do leave him occasionally with a
neighbour while I go for massage therapy, and that's for about 1.5
hours, including the time it takes me to get there. Sometimes she says
he's been hungry while I'm gone, but generally she can distract him or
even get him to go to sleep, even with him trying to latch onto every
available surface, grousing, fist-sucking, etc. But, she has "the
touch" with babies, and my other sitter options don't appear to. OTOH,
it's only 3 more weeks or so till I'm planning to start solids, so
really it's about to become a non-issue.

Thanks!
Melania