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help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)



 
 
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  #121  
Old July 23rd 03, 01:02 PM
Paul Fritz
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)


"Betsy" wrote in message
. com...
In news:[email protected],
typed:
Betsy wrote:
I suppose I shall discover in time, if this is going to continue.
One never knows when another may begin the change needed. I have
done what I can, and will let time tell the rest. I have learned,
the hard way, not to invest too much of myself 'saving' other
people. I share my story(ies) and what worked for me. Where I am
now, is miles from where I was 12 years ago. It took 12 years to get
here, but I am here. I can only act as a guide to those willing to
accept guidance. No more need be said. Or rather, I will say no
more.


what are you talking to HIM for? I have already admitted to needing
to change, Paul is in denial and clearly abusive calling me looney
lorain on here all the time yet insisting that he is doing nothing
wrong, don't talk to him about how hard you have it convincing me
that I need to change. That ruins your credibility. Otherwise, I do
take your words to heart and appreciate your efforts to help me and
my son, and I love your .sig lines, they are funny.


OK, first off, I am free to talk to whomever I choose. Whether you like

it
or not, whether my son likes it or not, whether my mother likes it or not.
It's called free choice, and it's a God given gift. Secondly, I am simply
letting these folks know, that while they disagree with me on whether or

not
you will change, I (being relatively new here) am going to try. They are
trying to dissuade me, by telling me I am wasting my time. I am telling

him
(Paul) in essence, it's my time, I choose how to spend it.


I have never meant to dissuade or otherwise tell you what to do, if that was
what you got from my posts, then it was totally unintended. On the other
hand, that is looney's standard operating procedure.....with constatn
attempts to moderate posts and who and what should be said to whom.

WRT to 'denial' LMAO............except for a few enablers on a couple of
NG's and possibbly a psychobabblists or two........most people can clearly
see the real source of the problem and have correctly placed the blame at
looney's feet. She however......being the perpetual victim, will always find
someone else to blame.......including me, who she wouldn't know if I was
standing in front of her.
Looney has created the problem, but now seeks to blame everyone, her family,
the system, and even people on the NG.


If you find it
ruins my credibility, then I wasn't very credible in your eyes to begin
with. Sometimes things happen that you don't like, that don't affect you
directly, that aren't aimed at you, and you don't like them. Get over it,
move on, don't let it bother you. If I got upset everytime on of my
co-workers I respected spoke to one of my co-workers I didn't like, I

would
spend my entired work day upset. It's not worth it.

Betsy
--
Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and good with
ketchup.




  #122  
Old July 23rd 03, 02:15 PM
turtledove
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)


"CME" wrote in message
. ..

wrote in message

news:[email protected]
Dennis Here wrote:


I'm glad there are some positives in your life, AND that you can see them.
It makes such a difference, hey? I personally think you are an

intelligent,
insightful, strong and highly motivated person to have done all the things
you've done with your life thus far. I hope you see that too.

Christine

I second that statement. I always have thought that about you. Why don't
you go back and google my support of you for a while.

*bri


  #123  
Old July 23rd 03, 05:22 PM
Lisa aka Surfer
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)


"turtledove" wrote in message
. com...

Since lisa says no binaries here.

Email me pics of your tits please.

( is that better lisa? )



much thanks

oh, and while we're at it,,,,thanks for moving from using "c" to start

that
4 letter word to "k"

I really hate that word

It's better when you spell it with a "k"

Surf



you absolutely kill me....
time to clean up the computer screen again....

*bri



lol,,,sorry,,,,

  #124  
Old July 23rd 03, 05:26 PM
Karen O'Mara
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)

wrote in message .net...
If only all psychoes were as obvious as him. The main reason I have gotten
entangled with the psychoes in my life is because they don't act like this
until they have been a teddy bear for a loooooong time first. I call them
ticking time bomb teddy bears, but not until long after I've fallen for

[snip]

I know that I've ignored the red flags that seem so obvious later. The
red flags are our guardian angels. We need to sensitize our antennaes
to them.

Karen
  #125  
Old July 23rd 03, 08:49 PM
Paul Fritz
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)


"Lisa aka Surfer" wrote in message
...

"turtledove" wrote in message
. com...

Since lisa says no binaries here.

Email me pics of your tits please.

( is that better lisa? )



much thanks

oh, and while we're at it,,,,thanks for moving from using "c" to start

that
4 letter word to "k"

I really hate that word

It's better when you spell it with a "k"

Surf



you absolutely kill me....
time to clean up the computer screen again....

*bri



lol,,,sorry,,,,


You have a bad habit of doing that ;-)


  #126  
Old July 25th 03, 01:43 AM
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)

Betsy wrote:
In news:[email protected],
typed:
Betsy wrote:
I suppose I shall discover in time, if this is going to continue.
One never knows when another may begin the change needed. I have
done what I can, and will let time tell the rest. I have learned,
the hard way, not to invest too much of myself 'saving' other
people. I share my story(ies) and what worked for me. Where I am
now, is miles from where I was 12 years ago. It took 12 years to
get here, but I am here. I can only act as a guide to those
willing to accept guidance. No more need be said. Or rather, I
will say no more.


what are you talking to HIM for? I have already admitted to needing
to change, Paul is in denial and clearly abusive calling me looney
lorain on here all the time yet insisting that he is doing nothing
wrong, don't talk to him about how hard you have it convincing me
that I need to change. That ruins your credibility. Otherwise, I do
take your words to heart and appreciate your efforts to help me and
my son, and I love your .sig lines, they are funny.


OK, first off, I am free to talk to whomever I choose. Whether you
like it or not, whether my son likes it or not, whether my mother
likes it or not. It's called free choice, and it's a God given gift.
Secondly, I am simply letting these folks know, that while they
disagree with me on whether or not you will change, I (being
relatively new here) am going to try. They are trying to dissuade
me, by telling me I am wasting my time. I am telling him (Paul) in
essence, it's my time, I choose how to spend it. If you find it
ruins my credibility, then I wasn't very credible in your eyes to
begin with. Sometimes things happen that you don't like, that don't
affect you directly, that aren't aimed at you, and you don't like
them. Get over it, move on, don't let it bother you. If I got upset
everytime on of my co-workers I respected spoke to one of my
co-workers I didn't like, I would spend my entired work day upset.
It's not worth it.

Betsy


Since you are relatively new perhaps you are not as aware as the rest of us
that Paul Fritz has been harassing me for years now so of course I take
offense that you would dignify him by talking to him as if he had integrity.
If people hadn't welcomed him when he followed me over here from
alt.child-support where he originated his campaign of hate against me he
wouldn't still be here, calling me looney lorain and mocking my feminist
ideals day in and day out. He rarely talks about his children as clearly
that is not his main purpose here. Most of his posts are directed at me. I
wasn't trying to control you so chill out. If he called you names and made
fun of you all the time, I wouldn't talk to him like he was normal so I
don't understand it when you talk to him like nothing is wrong.


  #127  
Old July 25th 03, 01:49 AM
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)

Another Time Another Place wrote:
wrote ...
snipping loads of stuff that others reply too so much better then I


And I'm really afraid my son is
going to tell my mother that I am bisexual. Damn that kid.


*if* you think it is any of your mothers concern... Tell her yourself


of course I don't think it's any of my mother's concern. She would flip a
flying lid. She already won't come in my house because I have a child and
am not married. If she knew I had dated women in the past she wouldn't let
me in hers. The way my son is out there telling the police god knows what
to have succesfully gotten me committed to the psych unit last week, who
knows what he is telling my mother? So, I worry.

I was hoping she wouldn't find out until I was famous ;-)


  #128  
Old July 25th 03, 01:57 AM
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)

Karen O'Mara wrote:
wrote in message
.net...
If only all psychoes were as obvious as him. The main reason I have
gotten entangled with the psychoes in my life is because they don't
act like this until they have been a teddy bear for a loooooong time
first. I call them ticking time bomb teddy bears, but not until
long after I've fallen for

[snip]



I know that I've ignored the red flags that seem so obvious later. The
red flags are our guardian angels. We need to sensitize our antennaes
to them.

Karen


some psychoes are either really good at faking normal or really do care so
much for me that they are dr. jekyll when they are with me and mr. hyde to
other people or have been mr. hyde at times in the past and are trying
really hard not to be when they are with me but after awhile the
undercurrent of danger comes to the surface but by then I'm entangled. And
if they have fixated on me they do not go away until they choose to go away,
I can break up with them all I want and it does no good, in fact it just
****es them off and makes things worse for me. If I called 911 every time
I've had to save myself they'd give me my own separate line and charge me a
monthly fee.



  #129  
Old July 25th 03, 02:15 AM
Joelle
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)

ome psychoes are either really good at faking normal or really do care so
much for me that they are dr. jekyll when they are with me and mr. hyde to
other people or have been mr. hyde at times in the past and are trying


eally hard not to be when they are with me but after awhile the
undercurrent of danger comes to the surface but by then I'm entangled.


SIgh. I know I'm just farting in the wind here, but honestly Lorian, if once
or twice you meet some guy who really did "change" after you got to know him,
well, once can happen to anyone, twice, it's time to start thinking twice, but
if this is happening to you often or "all the time" you really do have to look
at yourself. Most men are not Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde - and if the majority of
the men you are attracted to are, then you have to look at yourself and why you
are drawn to that sort of person. Or you may be expecting it of them and you
see it when it's not there.

Yea I know, I'm being oppressive and blaming the victim. I've really sort of
given up on you - but maybe someone else reading this who is in the same
pattern will think about it and look at what they can do to change the pattern.


Joelle
  #130  
Old July 25th 03, 02:20 AM
Betsy
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)

In news:[email protected],
typed:
Betsy wrote:

Brave? I think not. Stubborn, I would definitely agree with that
one.


I still think you are brave, too. ;-)

I am persistent. If I feel there is value in something, I keep
at it. If someone seems to be listening, I keep talking. When they
shut down, I shut up. It's how I am. It stems from being a Hospice
nurse, I suppose.


A hospice nurse? You are very brave.


Nah, not brave. That's just what nursing is to me anymore. I became a
nurse to help people. I found the care given in the hospital was less what
I had hoped to provide. Running in and out of 8 patients rooms, giving them
all their medication, being available for the doctors, and then running to a
code situation (this was a cardiac unit so that happened more often than I
liked) made quality difficult. I think what made me finally want to leave
the hospital was a patient that was brought into the emergency room by
ambulance. The paramedics were attempting to recuscitate, so we continued
the efforts. There were the external defibrillator pads on this guy (these
are used in place of paddles sometimes) because he just had a pacemaker put
in a week or so prior. The doctor asked if any of the nurses knew how to
administer the shock using the pads. I said, "I do." So he tells me to
give the shock. After that we get the flat line. The guy was gone. The
doctor patted my shoulder and said, "Good job." I was speechless. I had
participated in subjecting this man's final moments to drugs, needles, the
humility of nudity in a strange environment, and finally the pain of
electrical cardioversion. This was not care, it seemed to me. It was
torture. The man was 89 years old, why couldn't we let him die in peace and
dignity. That's when I realized I needed to get out of the hospital. I
either needed to go into OB, or pediatrics, where there were much greater
'successes,' or leave nursing altogether. Hospice work never occurred to
me. It was when I met up with a former class mate, and former best friend
but that's another story, and she told me about her job with Hospice. I
told her if there was another position open, I would love to work there.
She worked in a different county, however. BUT one of the nurses where she
worked, used to work at the Hospice where I currently work, and she knew
there was a position. So all in all I think it was fate, or destiny, or
divine calling. Call it what you like, I am actually where I want to be,
doing what I want to do, and loving every minute of it. OK, not EVERY
minute of it. But I feel rewarded when I am finished with my work for the
day. I get to care for the WHOLE patient, not just, "the new pacemaker in
29," or, "The post-MI in 18." There is a true connection with these people
that I get to feel. And I feel the difference I make in lives every day.
It's a good feeling to get. Oh boy, is THIS off-topic!!

And no, not ALL nurses are co-dependent. I am a
very strong willed, assertive person. I scare most men away, which
is probably why I haven't had a date in years.


One of my "lorianisms" is "my idea of the ideal man is one who is not
afraid of me!"

I really hope things
work out for you.

Betsy


Thanks. Did you read my post about the little mishap I had falling
into the crevice between my coffee table and book case? LOL. It's
funny now but I was not so brave when I was stuck there for an hour.
I have the weirdest experiences. I am in such a good mood today, I
really value the freedom to move about, although I am covered in
bruises from the fall and achy, I'm glad I was able to get out of
that mess and go to school today.


I read your post, but I wasn't sure how to respond. Glad you are not in too
much pain from that. If I had become stuck in such a fashion, no doubt I
would be immobile. I think that has to do with the location of injury.
Mine is cervical, and the neck is an area that controls the rest of the
body, so to speak. Damage to the cervical spinal cord causes weakness or
paralysis to the lower part of the body. That's why I am so afraid of
surgery to that area. Therapy has helped a great deal, but the arthritis in
my neck will never go away. I wake up achy every day, and if I have a nap
for some reason, I am achy when I wake from that as well. I am 31, and
falling apart. Again I am glad you are mobile, and I hope you feel better
soon.

Betsy
--
Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and good with
ketchup.


 




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