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help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)



 
 
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  #81  
Old July 22nd 03, 02:49 AM
CME
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Default help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)


wrote in message
. net...
Tiffany wrote:

Why is one need to be worse then the other?


YOU are the one who just said that what I was doing was worse.

Why does there have to be fault?


Again, YOU blamed ME, as usual.

I didn't say you abuse Paul, but again, you are only reading
what you want.


Yes you did. You said I name called by pointing out that he is a woman
abuser, and you equated that to him calling me a bitch, which I of course
think is not the same thing.

Why not answer my question on why you let this become
abuse?


It's not within my control to let it become anything, it is HIS
responsibility and HIS intention to make it so. It is HIS campaign of
hatred targeted at me and his fixation on me which is clear by his

specific
name calling of me "Looney Lorain" and how he has dug up peterd's old name
calling of me "maroon" to continue that legacy of hate and how he uses my
women's studies education against me and my feminist ideals against me,
anything pertaining to anything womanly about me in particular not to the
other women on this newsgroup but only on me. That is abuse.


Look, Lorian... you are letting his words have power. Ignore him. What you
are doing though, is making what he says have value to you. Look at it this
way, if he did to ME what he does to you, I'd tell him to **** off, tell him
he's a quack and leave it at that. If he continued to be abusive, I'd
ignore him because NOTHING I CAN DO WILL CHANGE WHAT HE DOES... only I can
change my reaction to him. So please, for yourself, and others who post
here, don't give him that power.


Why do you read posts or take it to heart when you don't even
know these people?


Would you say that about the positive posts on here? No? Then why would

you
say it about the negative ones?


Good point, but only you can chose what has value here...

Christine


  #82  
Old July 22nd 03, 03:04 AM
CME
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)


wrote in message news:[email protected]
Karen O'Mara wrote:
"Tiffany" wrote in message
...
Err... here we go again. To me, no name calling is ok but I can't
control what Roy types or what Paul types nor would I want to. There
is no one to be at fault here. You have name called also though,
maybe not using b---- but you called Paul a women abuser which is
pretty harsh. More so then being a bitch as most women confess to
being a bitch. You are dealing with alot right now.... why make it
worse by dealing with negative posts?


Negative *anything* avoid like the plague now, Lorian. Goodness
gracious, you want to pop a vein or something?

Think, feel, live positive. Surround yourself with positivity. Some
stuff you can't avoid, I know.

Karen


yeah, I know, I should have known that although these newsgroup regulars

are
my longtime friends, I forgot how they cosign the bull**** of men who

choose
to attack me when I am down. How could I forget?


Excuse me? I do not put up with their so called bull****, I'm not going to
repeat myself over and over... nor am I going to try and change what they
think or post. I've said my peice about Paul et al. and their attack on
you, and that is all I'm going to do. Just because I chose to now ignore
the onslaught, does not mean I support them. I'm sorry Lorian, but you're
being foolish by thinking you can.

And yes you ignore trolls
but you do NOT ignore threats to your real life nor do I allow people to
call me names and go unchallenged not in real life and not online. That
would be stupid to not defend myself and people who have not been abused
don't understand that so I will not accept condemnation from them. They

are
just cowards who would rather blame the victim than stand up to the bully.

Whenever you disagree with someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way,
if they get mad, you are a mile away and you have their shoes.


Again... Excuse me? Just about every woman I know has been abused one way
or the other. How YOU chose to handle that abuse is YOUR business, but do
not assume I lack the comprehension.

Secondly, I think it's poor judgement to succumb to such negativity,
especially at such a stressful time in your life, so ignore them for God's
sake.

Christine


  #83  
Old July 22nd 03, 03:11 AM
CME
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)


"Rolly The Pervert" wrote in message
...

wrote in message

news:[email protected]
Rolly The Pervert wrote:
wrote in message
news:[email protected]
Lisa aka Surfer wrote:

Well done, Tom. You have a bigger heart than I, it was clear from
the very first reply from Betsy that she wasn't going to get the
point. Yet you still took the time. Man oh man you're doing well
these days!!!!

Lisa

Actually, Lisa, you and Tom are as emotionally abusiveslap

And what you gonna do about it?



**** off bitch


So, calling me a bitch is ok with the group? It's my fault for failing

to
ignore him? Tell me why it isn't his fault.



You are a bitch, and a lying netk00k kunt.

More then that, your a lonney maroon. Go take your meds looney lorain.


Wow, what depth and maturity. Talk about kicking someone while their
down... you're quite the big man.

Christine


  #84  
Old July 22nd 03, 03:18 AM
Cancerous Chronic
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)


"CME" wrote in message
.. .

"Rolly The Pervert" wrote in message
...

wrote in message

news:[email protected]
Rolly The Pervert wrote:
wrote in message
news:[email protected]
Lisa aka Surfer wrote:

Well done, Tom. You have a bigger heart than I, it was clear

from
the very first reply from Betsy that she wasn't going to get the
point. Yet you still took the time. Man oh man you're doing well
these days!!!!

Lisa

Actually, Lisa, you and Tom are as emotionally abusiveslap

And what you gonna do about it?



**** off bitch

So, calling me a bitch is ok with the group? It's my fault for

failing
to
ignore him? Tell me why it isn't his fault.



You are a bitch, and a lying netk00k kunt.

More then that, your a lonney maroon. Go take your meds looney lorain.


Wow, what depth and maturity. Talk about kicking someone while their
down... you're quite the big man.

Christine


Go **** yourself Christine, hypocrite.



  #85  
Old July 22nd 03, 03:23 AM
Rolly The Pervert
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default NOTE to all readers, looney lorian begins trolling and crossposting to other groups


"CME" wrote in message
.. .

"Rolly The Pervert" wrote in message
...

wrote in message

news:[email protected]
Rolly The Pervert wrote:
wrote in message

news:[email protected]
Actually, Lisa, you and Tom are as emotionally abusiveslap

And what you gonna do about it?



**** off bitch



Tom,

you are simply proving my point as what you just did is emotional

abuse!

Shut up bitch.

I thought you were in recovery?


hahahahaha bitch.

And every techie knows that databasix is the last resort of the coward


No bitch, meow, YHBT.

You ain;t a techie either ****or, just cause you got a free email addy

lol.

Take credit for anyone elses work lately fraud?

usenet poster who needs to hide behind a terms of service agreement

that
allows for anything goes. Better watch it though, there are still

laws
to
follow...


hahaha, hahahaha looney lorian, you just bought off more then you can

chew.
again.

Cal the cops bitch. Email databasix ****. Your just ****ed you can't
netkkkop me.

Looney Lorain, your new friends will turn on you to, just like your old

ones
did, cause you are a backstabbing ****, whos ****ing up their kids life.

Shame on you ****.


LOL, I'm sorry... I just find this so amusing, who's the one here that has
the mental illness? Lorian has expressed herself in such a logical and
coherent manner... you on the otherhand, resort to base and childish
insults. You're a full blown cracker. Oh what, gonna call me a **** now
too? LMAO

Christine


hey look it's lady christine, coming to the invalids aid.


co-dependants and dumb **** enablers alike.





  #86  
Old July 22nd 03, 03:25 AM
CME
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)


"Cele" wrote in message
...
On Sat, 19 Jul 2003 18:55:57 GMT, "CME"
wrote:

Yeah, mine was probably when I left home and realized how bloody naive I
was. The only thing that kept me alive was that I had brains, and I

learned
fast. I even remember spending a cold, hungry night outside walking the
piers of Victoria because I had no where else to go. What a rough
awakening. But my truly defining moment didn't come until later, when I
became pregnant. I knew I was responsible for someone other than myself,
and I needed to get my **** together. I'm proud that I've made it.


Hey, did you grow up in Victoria??? When did you leave? I went to Vic
High.....

I wonder if we know each other? Or do I vaguely remember that you're
younger than I am?

Cele


I'm 27, and I didn't leave Edmonton, for Victoria until 1994. I lived a few
months in Vancouver as well... boy do I miss the ocean. Perhaps after
Graduate school, I'll look for work out there. I find I can't tolerate the
winters here anymore, they're too long.

Christine


  #87  
Old July 22nd 03, 07:10 AM
Cele
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)

On Tue, 22 Jul 2003 02:25:34 GMT, "CME"
wrote:


"Cele" wrote in message
.. .
On Sat, 19 Jul 2003 18:55:57 GMT, "CME"
wrote:

Yeah, mine was probably when I left home and realized how bloody naive I
was. The only thing that kept me alive was that I had brains, and I

learned
fast. I even remember spending a cold, hungry night outside walking the
piers of Victoria because I had no where else to go. What a rough
awakening. But my truly defining moment didn't come until later, when I
became pregnant. I knew I was responsible for someone other than myself,
and I needed to get my **** together. I'm proud that I've made it.


Hey, did you grow up in Victoria??? When did you leave? I went to Vic
High.....

I wonder if we know each other? Or do I vaguely remember that you're
younger than I am?

Cele


I'm 27, and I didn't leave Edmonton, for Victoria until 1994. I lived a few
months in Vancouver as well... boy do I miss the ocean. Perhaps after
Graduate school, I'll look for work out there. I find I can't tolerate the
winters here anymore, they're too long.


Oh, okay, I'm 44, so that means I left a long time before you got
there. I graduated from Vic High in '75 and left then to go to UBC.
Haven't ever lived there since, although I did do 7 years in Nanaimo
and 1 in Port Alberni.

I miss the ocean too. I live a couple of hours from it now and would
love to be able to go to it more easily. When I was a kid and I was
stressed out I used to go storm around the beach at Dallas Road. I
lived about half a block from Clover Point. If I was having a *really*
bad day I'd go all along the beach and then look at tombstones in the
cemetary at Ross Bay. Always felt better after that. Sort of freed up
my head to think. LOL

Anyway, I hear ya about the winters. These here in the Fraser Valley
are really short and wet. But I'm homesick for Whitehorse anyway. I
wish I could go back sometimes. And I miss my daughter who's there.

Oh well.

If you come this way you'll have to let me know so we can get
together. :-)

Cele
  #88  
Old July 22nd 03, 07:18 AM
Cele
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)

On Mon, 21 Jul 2003 18:48:59 -0500, 'Kate
wrote:

Worse than a vulture pickin' on carrion.


Glad to see you back, Kate. I hope you are doing as well as possible.
I think of you.

And oh, btw, this was beautifully expressed. :-)

Cele


And I'm still wondering if I spelled carrion correctly. :-\.


Heh. You got it right....spelling and similie both. :-)

We're doing ok. I'm very good at denial. LOL


Sometimes it pays to be. But not for longer than necessary. I'm glad
it's workin' for ya. I think of you often. I'll watch for you on
Trillian, now that the LAN is up and running and thoroughly rebuilt.

Thinking of you too... when ya moving? g


Heh. Still here. Can't move, even if I wanted to. I paid a tax
professional to do my taxes for lo these many years, and Revenue
Canada has decided they were done wrong two years ago and I'm in debt
to them for forty five hundred. Yeah, right. They want to garnishee my
wages. Luckily I'm technically unemployed right now. I'm going to try
to negotiate a payback schedule, I guess. What else can I do? But I'm
****ed as far as the huge return I was previously expecting is
concerned. Too bad there's no tax deduction for massive financial hits
due to doiing the right thing by your kid, huh? Ah well. [wry smile]

I'm thinking of you, Kate. Take good care of you and yours.

Cele
  #89  
Old July 22nd 03, 10:35 AM
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)

CME wrote:

Excuse me? I do not put up with their so called bull****, I'm not
going to repeat myself over and over... nor am I going to try and
change what they think or post. I've said my peice about Paul et al.
and their attack on you, and that is all I'm going to do. Just
because I chose to now ignore the onslaught, does not mean I support
them.


Then my words don't apply to you.

I'm sorry Lorian, but you're being foolish by thinking you can.


But you still need to say something about how stupid they sound when they
call me disgusting names and pick on me when I'm down, it wouldn't be right
to just let them get by with going unchallenged. So, you did that, thank
you. What I am objecting to is how others here choose to take their side
and blame me instead, again, that does not apply to you.




  #90  
Old July 22nd 03, 10:54 AM
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)

Betsy wrote:

Okay, I HAVE been abused. I have to say that I agree with what these
folks are saying to the extent of ignoring it. As my mother once had
a T-shirt that said, "Don't let the *******s get you down." YOU have
the power to not read the posts.


You are not listening to me when I say that I feel a deep need to not turn
my back on dangerous people like Tom who has threatened to take his
harassment of me offline and has in fact done so twice and he knows my real
name and location so he has the power to carry through. You people aren't
going to defend me so obviously I have to defend myself. Gee, I'm so busy
worrying about him now I've forgotten all about my son.

If you allow yourself to be hurt by
petty name calling, you are allowing yourself to be a victim.


Petty name calling? ****, bitch, these are petty name calling? No, these
are gender specific slurs, he most definitely singles out women for his hate
as he has a really twisted woman hating issues. Feeling pain when men
attack me is not my fault, duh. Tom and Paul are quite capable of choosing
who they attack and they are quite capable of stopping their behavior, it is
their responsibility, not mine.


You
can not be victimized if you will not allow it.


Lack of control over being hurt is the very definition of victim. Why am I
the only one who seems to get this? If you don't want to stand up to Tom
and Paul that is your prerogative but don't give me this highly developed
argument about how it is all my fault that they are making fun of my mental
illness and of my feminist ideals and of my gender because I refuse to
ignore them.

I have been called
cold hearted, and a bitch more often than I can count; mostly by
people who meet the profile of an abuser. Mainly because I stand up
for myself.


um, I stand up for myself too...

They don't like it if they can't hurt you. If it hurts
your feelings, don't let them see it. It took me awhile, but I got
there. You can too. It's likely more difficult for you because of
the extent of abuse, and the mental illness, but it is not
impossible. You may think I am attacking you, or assigning the blame
to you, but actually this is an attempt at empowerment. I will
probably be criticized for it. I don't really care. If you hear the
meaning in my words, fine. If not, I can do nothing more. Good
Luck.

Betsy


I can see that you are trying to help me and I take your advice in the
spirit with which it is intended but when I am told to ignore the abuser and
that it is my fault they are abusing me what I hear is "shut up and take the
abuse like a good girl" and it just makes me want to point and scream. See?




 




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