Preparing sibling for birth process?

On Mar 16, 7:19 pm, "MarieD" wrote:
wrote in message

...

I am of the opinion that we should not be present during the birth of
the child. I think it's better for the marriage as well.

What harm does it do to a marriage for a father to be with the love of his
life when she is giving birth to his child?
Marie

http://tinyurl.com/42hcu
http://tinyurl.com/bynnk

Regards...

On Mar 16, 7:35 pm, Rosalie B. wrote:
agsf_57 wrote:
On Mar 16, 5:30 pm, Banty wrote:
In article ,
says...

On Mar 16, 7:18 am, Banty wrote:
In article , MarieD says...

wrote in message
...
You're better off having your husband watch the kids in the waiting
room while you give birth. Spare the husband and kids your ordeal.

Spare the husband? It's his baby LOL I have no respect for men like you. My
husband caught our daughter and was proud and excited about it. And my kids
were excited, also. Grow some balls...
Marie

Some marriage if it's "her" ordeal...

Let's be honest here. We are not experiencing any of the difficulty
and pain of child birth. You give birth so you should get the credit.
Also, I think the husband should not be in the delivery room.

I'm pretty sure your grandfather wasn't in the delivery room when your
parent was born and I am sure he had a great and healthy marriage.

Banty

Regards...

Wow! - agsf can see into the lives of usenetters and the lives of their parents!

You're quite a lot more sure of yourself than the extent of your knowledge would
possibly justify. Here's a pretty clear example.

Banty (and, no, I'm not answering your questions about it)

The whole idea of the husband being in the delivery room (or room in
which the wife gives birth) is a concept starting from the 70's.
That's why I referred to your grandfather.

You are wrong about that. We were doing it in the 60s too.

Oh OK, if you say so. From what I remember when I read up on this
entire subject, it started out in the 70's along with the women's
movement. Bradly wrote a book and most hospital policies changed after
that.


And also before that although it was necessity and not anything
trendy. People didn't go to hospitals, and sometimes the father was
the only one available. I doubt if my father's mother who lived in a
ghost town in Colorado went to the hospital to have any of her
children. I'll have to get out my dad's birth certificate and look at
it to see what it says.

I'm sure his mother, midwives, in-laws or the doctor was with your
grandmother while your grandfather was in another room.


My mother was born at home (in 1909) and the attending doctor was a
cousin or uncle or something of the sort.

That's fine.

I am not sure I would want to have a young child there when I was
having a baby. My mother miscarried at home, and I have vague
memories of a lot of blood and anguish on the part of the adults. ,
But since this obviously isn't the first child, the labor might not be
as much of a problem. At least for subsequent deliveries, mine
wasn't.

In any case, I would be the last one to tell someone else what they
should or shouldn't do in that respect.

They asked and I answered. I did so only because everyone was on the
bandwagon except for one other poster.

Regards...

On Sun, 16 Mar 2008 17:10:53 -0700 (PDT), "
wrote:

Also, I think the husband should not be in the delivery room.

Why not? My dh was in the delivery room and loved seeing his babies
born.

After all, they are his babies too.


--
Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..

The Outer Limits

On Sun, 16 Mar 2008 19:16:11 -0700 (PDT), agsf_57
wrote:

The whole idea of the husband being in the delivery room (or room in
which the wife gives birth) is a concept starting from the 70's.
That's why I referred to your grandfather

The whole idea of delivery rooms is pretty recent in human history.


--
Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..

The Outer Limits

On Sun, 16 Mar 2008 22:56:41 +0000 (UTC), enigma
wrote:


alt.gothic.
remember, i'm one of *those* people
i will say one thing for mr.agsf (which he "borrowed" from the
AGSF) though, he's a pretty consistant troll. he's been making
himself at home over there since 1997 or so... kinda like
those annoying neighbors that won't take a hint & go home.
lee

Good grief... a Goth with a 1950s marriage. That sounds like a bad
comedy!

Nan

Nan wrote in
news
On Sun, 16 Mar 2008 22:56:41 +0000 (UTC), enigma
wrote:


alt.gothic.
remember, i'm one of *those* people
i will say one thing for mr.agsf (which he "borrowed" from
the AGSF) though, he's a pretty consistant troll. he's been
making himself at home over there since 1997 or so... kinda
like those annoying neighbors that won't take a hint & go
home. lee

Good grief... a Goth with a 1950s marriage. That sounds
like a bad comedy!

he's not a goth. he's a troll.
lee
--
Last night while sitting in my chair
I pinged a host that wasn't there
It wasn't there again today
The host resolved to NSA.

agsf_57 wrote:

On Mar 16, 7:35 pm, Rosalie B. wrote:
agsf_57 wrote:
On Mar 16, 5:30 pm, Banty wrote:
In article ,
says...

The whole idea of the husband being in the delivery room (or room in
which the wife gives birth) is a concept starting from the 70's.
That's why I referred to your grandfather.

You are wrong about that. We were doing it in the 60s too.

Oh OK, if you say so. From what I remember when I read up on this
entire subject, it started out in the 70's along with the women's
movement. Bradly wrote a book and most hospital policies changed after
that.

It wasn't until the 1920s that women even went to hospitals for the
delivery of a baby. Dr. Grantley Dick-Read of England wrote Birth
Without Fear in the 1930s. Lamaze studied Russian techniques of
conditioned response to reduce childbirth pain in France in the 40s.
It WAS in the 60's, that Bradley introduced the concept of fathers in
the delivery room. My sister did the Lamaze method with her dh to
help coach the breathing etc in the 60s.

But if you aren't in a hospital (as I gather the OP is not), the
father and other children are probably going to be involved at least
in the next room where they can hear if not see. Leaving the father
out of it, would it not be better for the child (and that was what was
asked) to have some idea of what was going on so that he doesn't think
his mother is dying? I mean some women are fairly vocal during
delivery.


And also before that although it was necessity and not anything
trendy. People didn't go to hospitals, and sometimes the father was
the only one available. I doubt if my father's mother who lived in a
ghost town in Colorado went to the hospital to have any of her
children. I'll have to get out my dad's birth certificate and look at
it to see what it says.

I'm sure his mother, midwives, in-laws or the doctor was with your
grandmother while your grandfather was in another room.

I don't think they had another room. They had a very small house -
kitchen, bedroom and front parlor which her parents used as a bedroom.
Maybe he was minding the store (literally - they ran a small general
store), but if he was at home, he couldn't have been very far away.

In any case, I would be the last one to tell someone else what they
should or shouldn't do in that respect.

They asked and I answered. I did so only because everyone was on the
bandwagon except for one other poster.

Regards...

On Mon, 17 Mar 2008 13:46:25 +0000 (UTC), enigma
wrote:

Nan wrote in
news
On Sun, 16 Mar 2008 22:56:41 +0000 (UTC), enigma
wrote:


alt.gothic.
remember, i'm one of *those* people
i will say one thing for mr.agsf (which he "borrowed" from
the AGSF) though, he's a pretty consistant troll. he's been
making himself at home over there since 1997 or so... kinda
like those annoying neighbors that won't take a hint & go
home. lee

Good grief... a Goth with a 1950s marriage. That sounds
like a bad comedy!

he's not a goth. he's a troll.
lee

Oh, okay. That's more believable.

Nan

Replying to my own post, probably bad manners, but...

Since all of the sudden this thread has become really active (though
mostly about agsf) I figured I'd post an update. I got the Lennart
Nilson photographic book (that classic from the 70s about in utero
development) and started talking with the Bug about childbirth.
Doctor's daughter to the end, she's more interested in the picture of
the C-section than the those of the "regular way". The moment of
truth of course has not yet arrived, but at least the discussion went
better than I could have hoped. For one, when I started thinking
about the nitty gritty, I realized I couldn't get either of our hopes
too pinned on her being there (it's a hospital birth, and what if
things go quickly in the middle of the night?). I've told her I may
be hooting and hollering, it kind of hurts, there may be blood, the
baby comes out goopy, but all of that's OK. She doesn't seem to be in
the least phased by any of it. She knows that mommy will be busy
getting the baby born, and daddy will be busy taking care of mommy, so
she asks grandma for anything she needs. And of course if she starts
to get freaked out, she and my mom go play somewhere else in the
hospital where she spent 3 years visiting me on call nights during my
residency.

So yesterday I was sitting on the couch and she took my hand and said,
"When little dude is getting born I'm just going to hold your hand
like this. Because it may look like you're just lying there, or
hooting and hollering, but inside you'll be working very hard." It
was just about the sweetest thing I've ever heard in my life.

Kate, ignorant foot soldier of the medical cartel
and the Bug, 4 and a half
and something brewing, 4/08

"Akuvikate" wrote in message
...
Replying to my own post, probably bad manners, but...

Since all of the sudden this thread has become really active (though
mostly about agsf) I figured I'd post an update. I got the Lennart
Nilson photographic book (that classic from the 70s about in utero
development) and started talking with the Bug about childbirth.
Doctor's daughter to the end, she's more interested in the picture of
the C-section than the those of the "regular way". The moment of
truth of course has not yet arrived, but at least the discussion went
better than I could have hoped. For one, when I started thinking
about the nitty gritty, I realized I couldn't get either of our hopes
too pinned on her being there (it's a hospital birth, and what if
things go quickly in the middle of the night?). I've told her I may
be hooting and hollering, it kind of hurts, there may be blood, the
baby comes out goopy, but all of that's OK. She doesn't seem to be in
the least phased by any of it. She knows that mommy will be busy
getting the baby born, and daddy will be busy taking care of mommy, so
she asks grandma for anything she needs. And of course if she starts
to get freaked out, she and my mom go play somewhere else in the
hospital where she spent 3 years visiting me on call nights during my
residency.

So yesterday I was sitting on the couch and she took my hand and said,
"When little dude is getting born I'm just going to hold your hand
like this. Because it may look like you're just lying there, or
hooting and hollering, but inside you'll be working very hard." It
was just about the sweetest thing I've ever heard in my life.

Kate, ignorant foot soldier of the medical cartel
and the Bug, 4 and a half
and something brewing, 4/08

That is very sweet.
--

Jamie Clark