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will be away from 22 month old - wean prior?



 
 
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  #1  
Old April 22nd 06, 12:46 PM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding
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Default will be away from 22 month old - wean prior?

Hi everyone,
I'm an occasional poster, frequent reader. I should thank you all in
advance for providing such an invaluable resource for nursing mothers.
DD and I share a wonderful nursing relationship. When we recently moved
to Panama, we successfully weaned DD out of the family bed, and cut the
nursing sessions down to 2x a day; before bedtime, and before naptime.
At bedtime she nurses for 5-10 minutes and DH puts her to sleep. I lay
down with her at naptime and let her nurse herself to sleep. She LOVES
nursing, and cutting her back was very challenging. She will still ask
to nurse on other occasions - often when she wakes up from nap or
bedtime, which leads to major temper tantrums when I refuse. I think
she would still nurse all day long if I let her.

Since January, I've known that I will be going to California, without
DD. I'm in a wedding, and the expense is too great to take the whole
family, and the travel time will be 10+ hours - just too much for her.
While DH is excited for his alone time with her, I'm so nervous and
feeling incredibly guilty. My trip is the reason why we started the
weaning process, but now I feel stuck with these last 2 sessions. I
don't think either DD or I are ready to stop nursing.

So finally, I get to the question. I will be in California for 4
nights/5 days. Do I wean her from these last sessions before I go?
Will it be harder for her if I just leave without weaning? Should I
anticipate that the Wednesday night before I leave will be our last
nurse together? Aside from weaning, does anyone have suggestions how
to prepare her for my absence? Thanks so much for any advice, I'm
really feeling conflicted.

Karen
Mama to Amelia 7/04

  #2  
Old April 22nd 06, 04:47 PM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding
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Default will be away from 22 month old - wean prior?

ktuerk writes:

tuerk So finally, I get to the question. I will be in California for 4
tuerk nights/5 days. Do I wean her from these last sessions before I go?
tuerk Will it be harder for her if I just leave without weaning? Should I
tuerk anticipate that the Wednesday night before I leave will be our last
tuerk nurse together? Aside from weaning, does anyone have suggestions how
tuerk to prepare her for my absence? Thanks so much for any advice, I'm
tuerk really feeling conflicted.

On the basis of my experience with one child and years of reading this
newsgroup (i.e. caveat lector!):

I'd advise against weaning her in order to take the trip, since you're not
wanting to do so anyway. DS is actually just fine without breastmilk if I'm
not there, even though he still nurses more than your DD when I am there.
With just DH, it's just a different situation, and they cope. He does miss
me, but I don't think it's because of the milk particularly. So my feeling
is, no, it won't be easier for her if you wean her first. I see that your
DD doesn't always nurse to sleep, so it's not that she doesn't know how to
sleep without nursing, so there's another potential problem you don't have
to worry about. It's *possible* she may not go back to nursing when you get
back, but then you're just in the same situation you'd be in if you weaned
her in advance; more likely, she'll go back to it just fine.

I'd talk to her a lot about the trip in the few days before it. Concentrate
on the journey, that you're going to go away, and how, and that you're
going to come back, and how, and explain what'll happen while you're away.
The first time I went away, I remember two things: first, that I was
planning to leave before DS would have been awake in the morning, but that
in fact, contrary to his usual habit, he woke many times in that last night
and ended up in our bed - I think he was just checking whether I was still
there or not! So I ended up nursing him minutes before I left, which I
hadn't anticipated. When I got back, he was cheerful, then briefly clingy,
and then talked about my trip endlessly for many weeks, working through it
I suppose. I was only away for one night; but when I was away again for one
night recently, he took it much more in his stride.

Another thing to consider is whether you're likely to suffer engorgement.
Probably not, but it might be worth taking a pump with you just in case -
some people do, even when they're not nursing very much. I haven't done
more than one night away yet, but the last time I didn't even take a pump,
and was fine. DS nurses about 4 times per day on average, but YMMV.

Sidheag
DS Colin Oct 27 2003


  #3  
Old April 23rd 06, 01:15 AM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding
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Default will be away from 22 month old - wean prior?



Sidheag McCormack wrote:

ktuerk writes:

tuerk So finally, I get to the question. I will be in California for 4
tuerk nights/5 days. Do I wean her from these last sessions before I go?
tuerk Will it be harder for her if I just leave without weaning? Should I
tuerk anticipate that the Wednesday night before I leave will be our last
tuerk nurse together? Aside from weaning, does anyone have suggestions how
tuerk to prepare her for my absence? Thanks so much for any advice, I'm
tuerk really feeling conflicted.

On the basis of my experience with one child and years of reading this
newsgroup (i.e. caveat lector!):

I'd advise against weaning her in order to take the trip, since you're not
wanting to do so anyway. DS is actually just fine without breastmilk if I'm
not there, even though he still nurses more than your DD when I am there.
With just DH, it's just a different situation, and they cope. He does miss
me, but I don't think it's because of the milk particularly. So my feeling
is, no, it won't be easier for her if you wean her first. I see that your
DD doesn't always nurse to sleep, so it's not that she doesn't know how to
sleep without nursing, so there's another potential problem you don't have
to worry about. It's *possible* she may not go back to nursing when you get
back, but then you're just in the same situation you'd be in if you weaned
her in advance; more likely, she'll go back to it just fine.

I'd talk to her a lot about the trip in the few days before it. Concentrate
on the journey, that you're going to go away, and how, and that you're
going to come back, and how, and explain what'll happen while you're away.
The first time I went away, I remember two things: first, that I was
planning to leave before DS would have been awake in the morning, but that
in fact, contrary to his usual habit, he woke many times in that last night
and ended up in our bed - I think he was just checking whether I was still
there or not! So I ended up nursing him minutes before I left, which I
hadn't anticipated. When I got back, he was cheerful, then briefly clingy,
and then talked about my trip endlessly for many weeks, working through it
I suppose. I was only away for one night; but when I was away again for one
night recently, he took it much more in his stride.

Another thing to consider is whether you're likely to suffer engorgement.
Probably not, but it might be worth taking a pump with you just in case -
some people do, even when they're not nursing very much. I haven't done
more than one night away yet, but the last time I didn't even take a pump,
and was fine. DS nurses about 4 times per day on average, but YMMV.

Sidheag
DS Colin Oct 27 2003



I'll second this - it's entirely possible 4 nights without you won't be
the end of nursing. I don't have any experience of leaving a nursing
child for that long, but my 18-month-old was fine for 2 nights without
me, and he was still nursing 3-4 times a day. He slept with his father,
ate his regular meals, and we resumed nursing when I got back.

Clisby
  #4  
Old April 23rd 06, 05:44 AM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding
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Default will be away from 22 month old - wean prior?


ktuerk wrote:

So finally, I get to the question. I will be in California for 4
nights/5 days. Do I wean her from these last sessions before I go?
Will it be harder for her if I just leave without weaning? Should I
anticipate that the Wednesday night before I leave will be our last
nurse together? Aside from weaning, does anyone have suggestions how
to prepare her for my absence? Thanks so much for any advice, I'm
really feeling conflicted.

Karen
Mama to Amelia 7/04


I left Micah for 3 days/2 nights in January (he was 14 months and
nursing ~4-5 times/day), and another 3 days/2 nights in March (he was
down to ~2-3 times/day). Both times he resumed nursing without any
problems at all. I got pretty full and very uncomfortable in January
(I'd taken the manual pump, but I couldn't get very much out for some
reason), but in March I was just fine and didn't have to pump once.

Good luck and have a great trip!! And enjoy flying without having to
share your water/seat/window with a baby!

Em
mama to Micah, 11/14/04

  #5  
Old April 23rd 06, 05:50 AM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding
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Posts: n/a
Default will be away from 22 month old - wean prior?

I was away from DS1 for a comparable period of time for
my first overnight away from him at 16mo. I probably could
have weaned him then (it took a few hours for gom to asl
to nurse after I returned), but didn't --- we continued
for 4 more months.

--
Emily
DS1 5/02
DS2 9/05
  #6  
Old April 23rd 06, 08:59 PM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding
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Posts: n/a
Default will be away from 22 month old - wean prior?

I've heard of people trying to do this to make a persistent nurser wean and
it not work, so it's unlikely to be a problem for you to come back and
continue nursing if that is what you want to do!

Anne


  #7  
Old April 25th 06, 02:45 AM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding
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Default will be away from 22 month old - wean prior?

On 22 Apr 2006 04:46:12 -0700, "ktuerk" wrote:

Hi everyone,
I'm an occasional poster, frequent reader. I should thank you all in
advance for providing such an invaluable resource for nursing mothers.
DD and I share a wonderful nursing relationship. When we recently moved
to Panama, we successfully weaned DD out of the family bed, and cut the
nursing sessions down to 2x a day; before bedtime, and before naptime.
At bedtime she nurses for 5-10 minutes and DH puts her to sleep. I lay
down with her at naptime and let her nurse herself to sleep. She LOVES
nursing, and cutting her back was very challenging. She will still ask
to nurse on other occasions - often when she wakes up from nap or
bedtime, which leads to major temper tantrums when I refuse. I think
she would still nurse all day long if I let her.

Since January, I've known that I will be going to California, without
DD. I'm in a wedding, and the expense is too great to take the whole
family, and the travel time will be 10+ hours - just too much for her.
While DH is excited for his alone time with her, I'm so nervous and
feeling incredibly guilty. My trip is the reason why we started the
weaning process, but now I feel stuck with these last 2 sessions. I
don't think either DD or I are ready to stop nursing.

So finally, I get to the question. I will be in California for 4
nights/5 days. Do I wean her from these last sessions before I go?
Will it be harder for her if I just leave without weaning? Should I
anticipate that the Wednesday night before I leave will be our last
nurse together? Aside from weaning, does anyone have suggestions how
to prepare her for my absence? Thanks so much for any advice, I'm
really feeling conflicted.

Karen
Mama to Amelia 7/04


I was in a similar situation with my DS when he was 23 months. I had
to go away for 7 days/6 nights. My goal had been to nurse him for at
least two years so I was very worried about the prospect of him
weaning because of me being gone. At that point, he was nursing to
sleep for both naps and nighttime, and also asking to have a "quick
nurse" (his words) at random times during the day. Luckily, though,
he was also happy to go to sleep without nursing if I wasn't around
(e.g. out for the evening).

Long story short, it ended up being perfectly fine. He barely asked
about me while I was gone and had no problem going to sleep for naps
and at night (he slept with DH in our bed). I got a little bit full
the first couple of days and luckily I had taken my breast pump. I
pumped the first two nights and mornings and after that I was fine. I
was worried my supply would disappear but when I got back home a week
later, DS almost immediately asked to nurse and picked right up where
we'd left off.

Since then, I've gone away twice more (once for 4 nights, once for 6
nights) with no problems. DS is now 30 months and still nursing
strong. For both of those trips, DS stayed with DH, which I think
helped to ease the anxiety for him.

I also have to say that my last trip away was amazing. The first two
trips were not for pleasure (one for work, the other for a funeral) so
this last one was my first vacation without DS. I slept 12 hours
straight my first night away! As much as I missed him, I realized how
badly I needed the break.

Anyway, good look with your trip away. From the sounds of things, it
should be fine and don't worry about weaning. Like an earlier poster
suggested, just make sure to explain to DD ahead of time about your
trip.

Katie
DS - Nov 03
 




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