The Danger of Scaring Spankers

According to Straus and Mouradian's 1998 study, virtually all of the damage
that correlates with spanking seems to be associated with situations in
which parents (mothers in the case of that particular study) sometimes or
frequently spank as a result of having "lost it." If parents who use
spanking define their expectations in such a way that they spank before they
are ready to lose their tempers, that holds down the risk that they will
spank while they don't have themselves under control. According to Straus
and Mouradian's study, that type of use of spanking appears to pose no more
than minimal danger if it poses a danger at all.

But now suppose that people who try to portray all spanking as inherently
harmful scare the parents to a point where they are no longer willing to
spank before they lose their tempers and, because a spanking does not occur
at an earlier point, a situation escalates to a point where a parent loses
his or her temper. If the lost temper results in the parent's no longer
having the self-control to avoid spanking, that puts the child in a category
associated with a dramatically higher risk than if the child had been
spanked earlier while the parent was still under control. And while I don't
know what studies might have been conducted on the subject, I would not be
the slightest bit surprised if the sorts of things parents often say to
their children when they lose their tempers cause statistically significant
negative long-term effects - effects that would be more damaging than if the
child got a calmly delivered swat or two before things got so far out of
hand that the parent lost his or her temper.

As I've said in other posts, I think it's better if parents try to use
win/win methods and other positive parenting skills as much as they are
willing to make time for in order to reduce (and perhaps even eliminate)
their need to resort to threats or punishment. But based on Straus and
Mouradian's work, the worst thing that parents can do is get scared away
from spanking while they are calm, and then spank anyhow once they lose
their tempers.

Nathan

Straus, M.A. and Mouradian, V.E. 1998. "Impulsive Corporal Punishment by
Mothers and Antisocial Behavior and Impulsiveness of Children." _Behavioral
Sciences & The Law_ 16(3):353-

This is what I have said for years. Another issue that the child savers
don't understand is that children and adults are more likely to feel they
were abused as children if they hear others speak bad about it. In other
words a person can grow up not having any resentment to there parents for
being spanked, but when they hear how bad it is from so many people they
tend to start fixating on the past. Next they start questioning there past.

Soon they are the victims and there parents are the abusers. In fact I have
seen studies with people who were supposable abused and it was found that
many of the instances they remembered never even happened. Ever heard of a
pipe dream?

People tend to team up on a person that has opposing views. They use
brainwashing tactics to get there way. They speak loudly, over talk the
person, use big words and associate the issue a being bad, sick, cruel or
something that is out of the ordinary. Statements like "You parents abused
you" "I can't believe they did that" "My parents would never do that" When
in reality most parents spank and those that try not to have more trouble
with there kids. people here will say otherwise, but I know what I see in
the real world not what some lab experiment is suppose to prove!



But now suppose that people who try to portray all spanking as inherently
harmful scare the parents to a point where they are no longer willing to
spank before they lose their tempers and, because a spanking does not occur
at an earlier point, a situation escalates to a point where a parent loses
his or her temper. If the lost temper results in the parent's no longer
having the self-control to avoid spanking, that puts the child in a category
associated with a dramatically higher risk than if the child had been
spanked earlier while the parent was still under control. And while I don't
know what studies might have been conducted on the subject, I would not be
the slightest bit surprised if the sorts of things parents often say to
their children when they lose their tempers cause statistically significant
negative long-term effects - effects that would be more damaging than if the
child got a calmly delivered swat or two before things got so far out of
and that the parent lost his or her temper.

Bill sent in

They speak loudly, over talk the
person, use big words and associate the issue a being bad, sick, cruel or
something that is out of the ordinary. Statements like "You parents abused

.... Gee....no one on this NG talks that , way do they, K-9? ;-)

Bill and Nathan communicate:

Subject: The Danger of Scaring Spankers
From: "billy f"
Date: 6/14/2004 7:11 AM Eastern Daylight Time
Message-id:

This is what I have said for years. Another issue that the child savers
don't understand is that children and adults are more likely to feel they
were abused as children if they hear others speak bad about it. In other
words a person can grow up not having any resentment to there parents for
being spanked, but when they hear how bad it is from so many people they
tend to start fixating on the past. Next they start questioning there past.

Soon they are the victims and there parents are the abusers. In fact I have
seen studies with people who were supposable abused and it was found that
many of the instances they remembered never even happened. Ever heard of a
pipe dream?

People tend to team up on a person that has opposing views. They use
brainwashing tactics to get there way. They speak loudly, over talk the
person, use big words and associate the issue a being bad, sick, cruel or
something that is out of the ordinary. Statements like "You parents abused
you" "I can't believe they did that" "My parents would never do that" When
in reality most parents spank and those that try not to have more trouble
with there kids. people here will say otherwise, but I know what I see in
the real world not what some lab experiment is suppose to prove!



But now suppose that people who try to portray all spanking as inherently
harmful scare the parents to a point where they are no longer willing to
spank before they lose their tempers and, because a spanking does not occur
at an earlier point, a situation escalates to a point where a parent loses
his or her temper. If the lost temper results in the parent's no longer
having the self-control to avoid spanking, that puts the child in a category
associated with a dramatically higher risk than if the child had been
spanked earlier while the parent was still under control. And while I don't
know what studies might have been conducted on the subject, I would not be
the slightest bit surprised if the sorts of things parents often say to
their children when they lose their tempers cause statistically significant
negative long-term effects - effects that would be more damaging than if the
child got a calmly delivered swat or two before things got so far out of
and that the parent lost his or her temper.

"Fern5827" wrote in message ...
Bill sent in

They speak loudly, over talk the
person, use big words and associate the issue a being bad, sick, cruel or
something that is out of the ordinary. Statements like "You parents abused

... Gee....no one on this NG talks that , way do they, K-9? ;-)

Careful. Doug might read this ng too. That is exactly the way he talks
about child welfare.

I remind you of "jackboots."

Fact is billyf is correct. We DO associate the issue with it being
bad, sick, and cruel, though it is NOT out of the ordinary. But then
that is the human condition some of us would like to see changed.

You persuade me more and more, Montia perfoliata, that LaVonne and
Chris are correct, that there must be a law against CP used on
children. I don't like it but I'm having to face the truth you poor
things make so apparent. You are deeply psychologically damaged. You
have either no, or too low a capacity for empathy to realise the
horror of the use of pain on children.

I am sorry for your disability. And your social disease that arises
from it: Lack of conscience.

This society, and most for that matter, have a very serious problem
with compulsiveness and self delusion. It derives from how individuals
were treated as children, that impaired their development of a
conscience.

Thanks for posting.

Kane





Bill and Nathan communicate:

Subject: The Danger of Scaring Spankers
From: "billy f"
Date: 6/14/2004 7:11 AM Eastern Daylight Time
Message-id:

This is what I have said for years. Another issue that the child savers
don't understand is that children and adults are more likely to feel they
were abused as children if they hear others speak bad about it. In other
words a person can grow up not having any resentment to there parents for
being spanked, but when they hear how bad it is from so many people they
tend to start fixating on the past. Next they start questioning there past.

Soon they are the victims and there parents are the abusers. In fact I have
seen studies with people who were supposable abused and it was found that
many of the instances they remembered never even happened. Ever heard of a
pipe dream?

People tend to team up on a person that has opposing views. They use
brainwashing tactics to get there way. They speak loudly, over talk the
person, use big words and associate the issue a being bad, sick, cruel or
something that is out of the ordinary. Statements like "You parents abused
you" "I can't believe they did that" "My parents would never do that" When
in reality most parents spank and those that try not to have more trouble
with there kids. people here will say otherwise, but I know what I see in
the real world not what some lab experiment is suppose to prove!



But now suppose that people who try to portray all spanking as inherently
harmful scare the parents to a point where they are no longer willing to
spank before they lose their tempers and, because a spanking does not occur
at an earlier point, a situation escalates to a point where a parent loses
his or her temper. If the lost temper results in the parent's no longer
having the self-control to avoid spanking, that puts the child in a category
associated with a dramatically higher risk than if the child had been
spanked earlier while the parent was still under control. And while I don't
know what studies might have been conducted on the subject, I would not be
the slightest bit surprised if the sorts of things parents often say to
their children when they lose their tempers cause statistically significant
negative long-term effects - effects that would be more damaging than if the
child got a calmly delivered swat or two before things got so far out of
and that the parent lost his or her temper.