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Need a couple of ideas and resources



 
 
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  #41  
Old September 18th 04, 01:51 AM
Bebelestrnge0721
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Subject: Need a couple of ideas and resources
From: "CME"
Date: 9/17/2004 6:28 PM Eastern Standard Time
Message-id: 0yJ2d.20303$yW6.5300@clgrps12


"Karen O'Mara" wrote in message
. com...
oaway (Joelle) wrote in message
...
I'll say some prayers for your grandchild tonight. God knows she needs

them.

well that's a prayer she could do without.

Karen


I see you see through her cloak and spot the dagger Thanks Karen


Joelle can pray for anyone she likes and frankly, I don't see how a prayer
for a small child is something that anyone can do without.

While you're at it Joelle could you say one for me and my children? Having
someone else think about us never hurts.

Christine

Christine,
The point I am making or trying to make you seem to be missing. Joelle is not
offering me sincere prayers for my grandchild. She is saying my granddaughter
needs her prayers to save my grandchild from me, as if she is so great and
powerful ugh..... She is being sarcastic with that remark ,as she has since I
first posted here. She decided I was 1) a bad mother, 2) a bad grandmother, 3)
an idiot, etc. and solely because she on her high pedestal, chooses to condemn
me for the way I live, and the mistakes I made in the first year of my grieving
the loss of my lifes partner to death. At that same time my youngest daughters
mental illness was triggered also by her grief and loss. I held on to that kid
despite my own short comings Some people are not as strong as others when grief
is involved . we made it through all that and I am grateful I found that
strength for my family. I do not and did not ask for the "poor you" support , I
was honest to who I am and was slammed for the truth . I was slammed for our
own beliefs about our family not seeing Adoption as an option for US . I AM
HUMAN and have made mistakes , bad choices, and have paid that price in life. I
have that forgiveness, and who the hell is she or anyone else to condemn me .
we've crawled our way back through counsiling, therapy , and natural healing,
as I know others have. I do not claim to be any more special than anyone else.
Good therapists save lives and families and mine is a family that fell and
stood back up and healed. I have not destroyed my children or my grandchildren,
and her jabs at how she will pray for us is indeed a malicious and cruel
attack. Follow as you feel you must. I got involved because I saw her do the
same to Sly, it does not take a freekin rocket scientist to see through her .
She is so obvious. Other than that I think she is capable of good advice and if
she could control her personal feelings and judgements and accept that people
have different lifestyles and that does not mean they are ****ing up thier kids
because of that, then maybe she would stop having to pray for all of us sinners
You misunderstand me, this is a love hate thing here for me, there is
something about a person that uses spiritual goodness in an evil way that
concerns me .
Bev
  #42  
Old September 18th 04, 02:20 AM
Tiffany
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Posts: n/a
Default


"Bebelestrnge0721" wrote in message
...
Subject: Need a couple of ideas and resources
From: "CME"
Date: 9/17/2004 6:28 PM Eastern Standard Time
Message-id: 0yJ2d.20303$yW6.5300@clgrps12


"Karen O'Mara" wrote in message
. com...
oaway (Joelle) wrote in message
...
I'll say some prayers for your grandchild tonight. God knows she

needs
them.

well that's a prayer she could do without.

Karen


I see you see through her cloak and spot the dagger Thanks Karen


Joelle can pray for anyone she likes and frankly, I don't see how a

prayer
for a small child is something that anyone can do without.

While you're at it Joelle could you say one for me and my children?

Having
someone else think about us never hurts.

Christine

Christine,
The point I am making or trying to make you seem to be missing. Joelle

is not
offering me sincere prayers for my grandchild. She is saying my

granddaughter
needs her prayers to save my grandchild from me, as if she is so great

and
powerful ugh..... She is being sarcastic with that remark ,as she has

since I
first posted here. She decided I was 1) a bad mother, 2) a bad

grandmother, 3)
an idiot, etc. and solely because she on her high pedestal, chooses to

condemn
me for the way I live, and the mistakes I made in the first year of my

grieving
the loss of my lifes partner to death. At that same time my youngest

daughters
mental illness was triggered also by her grief and loss. I held on to

that kid
despite my own short comings Some people are not as strong as others when

grief
is involved . we made it through all that and I am grateful I found that
strength for my family. I do not and did not ask for the "poor you"

support , I
was honest to who I am and was slammed for the truth . I was slammed for

our
own beliefs about our family not seeing Adoption as an option for US . I

AM
HUMAN and have made mistakes , bad choices, and have paid that price in

life. I
have that forgiveness, and who the hell is she or anyone else to condemn

me .
we've crawled our way back through counsiling, therapy , and natural

healing,
as I know others have. I do not claim to be any more special than anyone

else.
Good therapists save lives and families and mine is a family that fell and
stood back up and healed. I have not destroyed my children or my

grandchildren,
and her jabs at how she will pray for us is indeed a malicious and cruel
attack. Follow as you feel you must. I got involved because I saw her do

the
same to Sly, it does not take a freekin rocket scientist to see through

her .
She is so obvious. Other than that I think she is capable of good advice

and if
she could control her personal feelings and judgements and accept that

people
have different lifestyles and that does not mean they are ****ing up thier

kids
because of that, then maybe she would stop having to pray for all of us

sinners
You misunderstand me, this is a love hate thing here for me, there is
something about a person that uses spiritual goodness in an evil way that
concerns me .
Bev


You forgot your sexuality.... .you once claimed we had some issues with that
also.


  #45  
Old September 18th 04, 04:11 AM
Cele
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Default

On Fri, 17 Sep 2004 18:42:07 GMT, "CME"
wrote:


"Bebelestrnge0721" wrote in message
...
ubject: Need a couple of ideas and resources
From: "slykitten" ms
Date: 9/16/2004 10:57 PM Eastern Standard Time
Message-id:

do you have any clue about anything??? he IS my son's STEP DAD!!!! he's

the
ONLY DAD my son has EVER known! He became DAD when my son was 15 months

old
and he accepted US. Yes, he IS STEP DAD.

--

No Sly she does not have a clue... I do though , I understand 100%. My
daughters had a step mom, from the time the oldest was 5 1/2 and the

youngest
she was 6 months old, would we have married over 20 years ago probably,

but we
were denied that right. What do I feel about the paperwork now F%$# it,

means
nothing what we had was more than any piece of paper could give us. Our

vows
were etched within our hearts . Stay strong let it roll off it doesn't

matter
if there are people so shallow that they don't get it. Take care
Bev


Are you on medication because I think you missed a dose.


Oy. Lots of people are on medication. I'm on medication. Tell her to
get stuffed if that's in your heart, but please don't use medication
as an insult, k?

You see what you
want to see, but I'm telling you, your judgement is clouded by your personal
vendetta against Joelle. But then again, why am I wasting my breath when
I'm supposed to be holding it. Good luck to you in life, I sincerely think
you'll need it.

Christine


Lotta pain all 'round, I'd say. People lash out when they're hurting.
At least, I do....

Hey Christine, did we get any further on the group meet this summer?
Got any thoughts on the where of it? Paul and I seem to be up for
it.....

Cele

  #46  
Old September 18th 04, 04:23 AM
Cele
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

On Fri, 17 Sep 2004 19:35:26 GMT, "Betsy" wrote:

Fair enough, Betsy. I agree with that. I truly wasn't looking to be
all critical. It's just that in my line of work, these days,
practically *everyone* has ADHD, whether they do or not, if you see
what I mean. :-)

Take care.

Cele


Right. I have truly seen only a handful of children who I would truly
classify as ADHD. I feel that diagnosis is overused in today's society.
Some kids have an attention deficit...it's that they don't get enough
attention. Others truly have the inability to control impulses. It's too
easy to look for a "quick fix" to a problem, and that encourages medicating
people when it is unnecessary; tragic when it's a growing child. I can
truly see your point of view Cele.

Take care yourself.

Betsy

Yup, that's what I see too. That's in no way to minimise the
difficulties for those who *do* have ADHD, or the difficulties of
those who have the diagnosis but not the syndrome. Those guys
generally have *something*, regardless. Anyway, you take care, too.

So where shall we all meet this summer?

Cele
  #48  
Old September 18th 04, 02:26 PM
Joelle
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Posts: n/a
Default

Joelle is not
offering me sincere prayers for my grandchild. S


I have very sincere prayers for your grandchild.

She is saying my granddaughter
needs her prayer


She does.

to save my grandchild from me,


That's right because I believe you are using her to fill your loss.

Everything else you wrote in this post is crap.

Joelle
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle
  #49  
Old September 18th 04, 02:28 PM
Joelle
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Posts: n/a
Default

t sucks that your daughter's boyfriend left her but
I can't say it is surprising.


Of course it's not surprising. Bebe never wanted to share her grandchild with
her father.

If she is patient, she will find he will come
back to be a father.


Although grandma will do everything she can to prevent it.


He probably won't come back to her though. It is hard
for her I am sure though so I hope she hangs in there.


She should move away from her mother.

Joelle
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle
  #50  
Old September 19th 04, 12:50 AM
slykitten
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Posts: n/a
Default



--
"Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it.
You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery
"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

"slykitten" wrote in message
...


--
"Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it.
You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery
"Karen O'Mara" wrote in message
om...
"slykitten" wrote in message

...
I'm coming out of lurk-mode for a brief while. Mostly because I'm

having
some issues with my son.
Before I proceed, I'll give a very brief history:
1) he's under the care of a psychiatrist for his meds
2) he's on meds (a cocktail really)
3) he's been in the hospital for certain behaviors that are

concerning
that
needed immediate attention and got immediate attention.
4) we have a social worker
5) we have a therapist (in-home psychologist who is helping me with

both
parenting, coping and behavior modification skills for this kiddo)
6) I've learned safe restraint techniques for when he becomes

violent
(which
thankfully isn't all that often anymore)
7) he's on a behavior mod plan in school
8) he has a great IEP

So what am I missing? Why does this kid constantly tell people that

he
hates
living with me? This past weekend I was in the hospital.... very

sick.
I
have diverticulitis which I found out is aparently pretty rare in

people
under the age of 30.... I'll be 29 on Sunday. My son threw a fit and

told
some people at his school about how I left him alone with no one

around.
The
reality is that his step-dad who loves him very much took me to the

hospital
where my friend met me and he took the kids home to care for them,

knowing
that my friend was with me. He explained to my son on the way to the
hospital that mommy is sick and needs to be taken care of by special

doctors
who can help mommy's tummy get better with special medicine that

gets
rid of
infection. I was gone only 3 days. I just don't get it.
Over Labor day weekend, I visited with my parents and when my son

threw
a
fit in the middle of a Wal Mart store, he had to be restrained until

he
was
calmed down... I actually asked the door greeter to call in a

manager
and
security guard to help me.... Are there resources out there that I

may
be
missing? Is this something that's just behavioral or was this

something
resembling sort of like a seizure?
I'm coming out of lurk at the risk of being massively flamed and

attacked.
What I'm actually doing is asking for help, ideas, resources, links

and
any
other ideas and advice anyone is willing to offer and share. I feel

crappy
as it is. I really don't need anyone's cruel and judgemental remarks

on
top
of it right now. I'm also not looking for anyone to coddle me and

say,
"oh
you poor thing!" because I don't belive that I'm in any way

burdened.
I
believe I'm being challenged but have reached a bit of an obstacle

that
I'm
not sure how to get past.
Thanks.

Sorry about the diverticulitis episode you had. I have a friend who
had that and was in the hospital, too. It's so painful and awful.

For me, it's a hereditary thing. my grampa has it and I have 2 aunts

with
it. All of them had it diagnosed though after they were at minimum of 43
years old.... grampa was 54.... I'm only 28 and so they're thinking that
something happened in my body.... I'm not sure quite how to explain

it.....
but it just happened and I get to fight it off. It sux, it's painful and
it's nasty. I'd rather give birth again.

To me, it really sounds like your son was doing so well there for
quite a while, and that he had a set-back because you got sick. (Two
steps forward, one step back?)

I'd agree with that....


Besides the social worker, the meds, the doctor, the safe restraint
techs, the school, and everything else that you mentioned, I don't
know of any other resources for him. I would like to see something for
you, though. The step-dad and your friend seem like a terrific support
system for you. I think you need to have some fun when you feel
better.

Karen


Having fun would be a good thing.... keeping a babysitter around long

enough
is a challenge though.... *sigh*



You know, I did want to add that as trying as things might be right now, I
noticed at one point that you mentioned that your son is doing better over
all, that your sickness just seemed to put a damper on that. That is
perfectly normal, it scared the **** out of him probably. So I think the
steps you have been taking are helping and may be all you can do at this
point.

Good luck.

T


Believe me.... I've talked this over with my parents, my grampa, my sig
other and our therapist and we've all agreed that we believe that it
probably did scare the **** out of him! in fact.... it actually scared me
pretty good too.... I didn't realize just how serious it was until I went
back to my old anatomy books and read up on the digestive system and the
diseases of the digestive system. I got really lucky. I am incredibly
thankful too.


 




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