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#41
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Subject: Need a couple of ideas and resources
From: "CME" Date: 9/17/2004 6:28 PM Eastern Standard Time Message-id: 0yJ2d.20303$yW6.5300@clgrps12 "Karen O'Mara" wrote in message . com... oaway (Joelle) wrote in message ... I'll say some prayers for your grandchild tonight. God knows she needs them. well that's a prayer she could do without. Karen I see you see through her cloak and spot the dagger Thanks Karen Joelle can pray for anyone she likes and frankly, I don't see how a prayer for a small child is something that anyone can do without. While you're at it Joelle could you say one for me and my children? Having someone else think about us never hurts. Christine Christine, The point I am making or trying to make you seem to be missing. Joelle is not offering me sincere prayers for my grandchild. She is saying my granddaughter needs her prayers to save my grandchild from me, as if she is so great and powerful ugh..... She is being sarcastic with that remark ,as she has since I first posted here. She decided I was 1) a bad mother, 2) a bad grandmother, 3) an idiot, etc. and solely because she on her high pedestal, chooses to condemn me for the way I live, and the mistakes I made in the first year of my grieving the loss of my lifes partner to death. At that same time my youngest daughters mental illness was triggered also by her grief and loss. I held on to that kid despite my own short comings Some people are not as strong as others when grief is involved . we made it through all that and I am grateful I found that strength for my family. I do not and did not ask for the "poor you" support , I was honest to who I am and was slammed for the truth . I was slammed for our own beliefs about our family not seeing Adoption as an option for US . I AM HUMAN and have made mistakes , bad choices, and have paid that price in life. I have that forgiveness, and who the hell is she or anyone else to condemn me . we've crawled our way back through counsiling, therapy , and natural healing, as I know others have. I do not claim to be any more special than anyone else. Good therapists save lives and families and mine is a family that fell and stood back up and healed. I have not destroyed my children or my grandchildren, and her jabs at how she will pray for us is indeed a malicious and cruel attack. Follow as you feel you must. I got involved because I saw her do the same to Sly, it does not take a freekin rocket scientist to see through her . She is so obvious. Other than that I think she is capable of good advice and if she could control her personal feelings and judgements and accept that people have different lifestyles and that does not mean they are ****ing up thier kids because of that, then maybe she would stop having to pray for all of us sinners You misunderstand me, this is a love hate thing here for me, there is something about a person that uses spiritual goodness in an evil way that concerns me . Bev |
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"Bebelestrnge0721" wrote in message ... Subject: Need a couple of ideas and resources From: "CME" Date: 9/17/2004 6:28 PM Eastern Standard Time Message-id: 0yJ2d.20303$yW6.5300@clgrps12 "Karen O'Mara" wrote in message . com... oaway (Joelle) wrote in message ... I'll say some prayers for your grandchild tonight. God knows she needs them. well that's a prayer she could do without. Karen I see you see through her cloak and spot the dagger Thanks Karen Joelle can pray for anyone she likes and frankly, I don't see how a prayer for a small child is something that anyone can do without. While you're at it Joelle could you say one for me and my children? Having someone else think about us never hurts. Christine Christine, The point I am making or trying to make you seem to be missing. Joelle is not offering me sincere prayers for my grandchild. She is saying my granddaughter needs her prayers to save my grandchild from me, as if she is so great and powerful ugh..... She is being sarcastic with that remark ,as she has since I first posted here. She decided I was 1) a bad mother, 2) a bad grandmother, 3) an idiot, etc. and solely because she on her high pedestal, chooses to condemn me for the way I live, and the mistakes I made in the first year of my grieving the loss of my lifes partner to death. At that same time my youngest daughters mental illness was triggered also by her grief and loss. I held on to that kid despite my own short comings Some people are not as strong as others when grief is involved . we made it through all that and I am grateful I found that strength for my family. I do not and did not ask for the "poor you" support , I was honest to who I am and was slammed for the truth . I was slammed for our own beliefs about our family not seeing Adoption as an option for US . I AM HUMAN and have made mistakes , bad choices, and have paid that price in life. I have that forgiveness, and who the hell is she or anyone else to condemn me . we've crawled our way back through counsiling, therapy , and natural healing, as I know others have. I do not claim to be any more special than anyone else. Good therapists save lives and families and mine is a family that fell and stood back up and healed. I have not destroyed my children or my grandchildren, and her jabs at how she will pray for us is indeed a malicious and cruel attack. Follow as you feel you must. I got involved because I saw her do the same to Sly, it does not take a freekin rocket scientist to see through her . She is so obvious. Other than that I think she is capable of good advice and if she could control her personal feelings and judgements and accept that people have different lifestyles and that does not mean they are ****ing up thier kids because of that, then maybe she would stop having to pray for all of us sinners You misunderstand me, this is a love hate thing here for me, there is something about a person that uses spiritual goodness in an evil way that concerns me . Bev You forgot your sexuality.... .you once claimed we had some issues with that also. |
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Subject: Need a couple of ideas and resources
From: "Tiffany" Date: 9/17/2004 9:20 PM Eastern Standard Time Message-id: You forgot your sexuality.... .you once claimed we had some issues with that also. Yes Tiff I did and we hashed that one out didn't we? I misunderstood the comment you made to me , referring to my partner and I wanting to keep my grand-daughter as our own. Which was/is the furthest from the truth. |
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#45
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On Fri, 17 Sep 2004 18:42:07 GMT, "CME"
wrote: "Bebelestrnge0721" wrote in message ... ubject: Need a couple of ideas and resources From: "slykitten" ms Date: 9/16/2004 10:57 PM Eastern Standard Time Message-id: do you have any clue about anything??? he IS my son's STEP DAD!!!! he's the ONLY DAD my son has EVER known! He became DAD when my son was 15 months old and he accepted US. Yes, he IS STEP DAD. -- No Sly she does not have a clue... I do though , I understand 100%. My daughters had a step mom, from the time the oldest was 5 1/2 and the youngest she was 6 months old, would we have married over 20 years ago probably, but we were denied that right. What do I feel about the paperwork now F%$# it, means nothing what we had was more than any piece of paper could give us. Our vows were etched within our hearts . Stay strong let it roll off it doesn't matter if there are people so shallow that they don't get it. Take care Bev Are you on medication because I think you missed a dose. Oy. Lots of people are on medication. I'm on medication. Tell her to get stuffed if that's in your heart, but please don't use medication as an insult, k? You see what you want to see, but I'm telling you, your judgement is clouded by your personal vendetta against Joelle. But then again, why am I wasting my breath when I'm supposed to be holding it. Good luck to you in life, I sincerely think you'll need it. Christine Lotta pain all 'round, I'd say. People lash out when they're hurting. At least, I do.... Hey Christine, did we get any further on the group meet this summer? Got any thoughts on the where of it? Paul and I seem to be up for it..... Cele |
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On Fri, 17 Sep 2004 19:35:26 GMT, "Betsy" wrote:
Fair enough, Betsy. I agree with that. I truly wasn't looking to be all critical. It's just that in my line of work, these days, practically *everyone* has ADHD, whether they do or not, if you see what I mean. :-) Take care. Cele Right. I have truly seen only a handful of children who I would truly classify as ADHD. I feel that diagnosis is overused in today's society. Some kids have an attention deficit...it's that they don't get enough attention. Others truly have the inability to control impulses. It's too easy to look for a "quick fix" to a problem, and that encourages medicating people when it is unnecessary; tragic when it's a growing child. I can truly see your point of view Cele. Take care yourself. Betsy Yup, that's what I see too. That's in no way to minimise the difficulties for those who *do* have ADHD, or the difficulties of those who have the diagnosis but not the syndrome. Those guys generally have *something*, regardless. Anyway, you take care, too. So where shall we all meet this summer? Cele |
#47
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"Bebelestrnge0721" wrote in message ... Subject: Need a couple of ideas and resources From: "Tiffany" Date: 9/17/2004 9:20 PM Eastern Standard Time Message-id: You forgot your sexuality.... .you once claimed we had some issues with that also. Yes Tiff I did and we hashed that one out didn't we? I misunderstood the comment you made to me , referring to my partner and I wanting to keep my grand-daughter as our own. Which was/is the furthest from the truth. A lot was hashed out months ago and you brought it back up. Maybe the past should be in the past. It sucks that your daughter's boyfriend left her but I can't say it is surprising. If she is patient, she will find he will come back to be a father. He probably won't come back to her though. It is hard for her I am sure though so I hope she hangs in there. T |
#48
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Joelle is not
offering me sincere prayers for my grandchild. S I have very sincere prayers for your grandchild. She is saying my granddaughter needs her prayer She does. to save my grandchild from me, That's right because I believe you are using her to fill your loss. Everything else you wrote in this post is crap. Joelle The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St Augustine Joelle |
#49
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t sucks that your daughter's boyfriend left her but
I can't say it is surprising. Of course it's not surprising. Bebe never wanted to share her grandchild with her father. If she is patient, she will find he will come back to be a father. Although grandma will do everything she can to prevent it. He probably won't come back to her though. It is hard for her I am sure though so I hope she hangs in there. She should move away from her mother. Joelle The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St Augustine Joelle |
#50
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-- "Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it. You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed." ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery "Tiffany" wrote in message ... "slykitten" wrote in message ... -- "Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it. You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed." ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery "Karen O'Mara" wrote in message om... "slykitten" wrote in message ... I'm coming out of lurk-mode for a brief while. Mostly because I'm having some issues with my son. Before I proceed, I'll give a very brief history: 1) he's under the care of a psychiatrist for his meds 2) he's on meds (a cocktail really) 3) he's been in the hospital for certain behaviors that are concerning that needed immediate attention and got immediate attention. 4) we have a social worker 5) we have a therapist (in-home psychologist who is helping me with both parenting, coping and behavior modification skills for this kiddo) 6) I've learned safe restraint techniques for when he becomes violent (which thankfully isn't all that often anymore) 7) he's on a behavior mod plan in school 8) he has a great IEP So what am I missing? Why does this kid constantly tell people that he hates living with me? This past weekend I was in the hospital.... very sick. I have diverticulitis which I found out is aparently pretty rare in people under the age of 30.... I'll be 29 on Sunday. My son threw a fit and told some people at his school about how I left him alone with no one around. The reality is that his step-dad who loves him very much took me to the hospital where my friend met me and he took the kids home to care for them, knowing that my friend was with me. He explained to my son on the way to the hospital that mommy is sick and needs to be taken care of by special doctors who can help mommy's tummy get better with special medicine that gets rid of infection. I was gone only 3 days. I just don't get it. Over Labor day weekend, I visited with my parents and when my son threw a fit in the middle of a Wal Mart store, he had to be restrained until he was calmed down... I actually asked the door greeter to call in a manager and security guard to help me.... Are there resources out there that I may be missing? Is this something that's just behavioral or was this something resembling sort of like a seizure? I'm coming out of lurk at the risk of being massively flamed and attacked. What I'm actually doing is asking for help, ideas, resources, links and any other ideas and advice anyone is willing to offer and share. I feel crappy as it is. I really don't need anyone's cruel and judgemental remarks on top of it right now. I'm also not looking for anyone to coddle me and say, "oh you poor thing!" because I don't belive that I'm in any way burdened. I believe I'm being challenged but have reached a bit of an obstacle that I'm not sure how to get past. Thanks. Sorry about the diverticulitis episode you had. I have a friend who had that and was in the hospital, too. It's so painful and awful. For me, it's a hereditary thing. my grampa has it and I have 2 aunts with it. All of them had it diagnosed though after they were at minimum of 43 years old.... grampa was 54.... I'm only 28 and so they're thinking that something happened in my body.... I'm not sure quite how to explain it..... but it just happened and I get to fight it off. It sux, it's painful and it's nasty. I'd rather give birth again. To me, it really sounds like your son was doing so well there for quite a while, and that he had a set-back because you got sick. (Two steps forward, one step back?) I'd agree with that.... Besides the social worker, the meds, the doctor, the safe restraint techs, the school, and everything else that you mentioned, I don't know of any other resources for him. I would like to see something for you, though. The step-dad and your friend seem like a terrific support system for you. I think you need to have some fun when you feel better. Karen Having fun would be a good thing.... keeping a babysitter around long enough is a challenge though.... *sigh* You know, I did want to add that as trying as things might be right now, I noticed at one point that you mentioned that your son is doing better over all, that your sickness just seemed to put a damper on that. That is perfectly normal, it scared the **** out of him probably. So I think the steps you have been taking are helping and may be all you can do at this point. Good luck. T Believe me.... I've talked this over with my parents, my grampa, my sig other and our therapist and we've all agreed that we believe that it probably did scare the **** out of him! in fact.... it actually scared me pretty good too.... I didn't realize just how serious it was until I went back to my old anatomy books and read up on the digestive system and the diseases of the digestive system. I got really lucky. I am incredibly thankful too. |
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