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#21
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how to file for child support
"mrbrklyn" wrote in You would almost definitely lose the children. Let it alone and stay out of the court at all costs. This is bull****! Why should he be held hostage for something that is rightfully his by law? BTW, I have a sister in law that left a marriage recently and now he is left supporting 4 kids. Nice thing is, he's been laid off and on welfare as he can't afford daycare for 4 kids, so the state will sue her ass! :-) |
#22
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how to file for child support
"DB" wrote in message . com... "mrbrklyn" wrote in You would almost definitely lose the children. Let it alone and stay out of the court at all costs. This is bull****! Why should he be held hostage for something that is rightfully his by law? === Oh, so you're paying the lawyer. I guess you haven't been around here long enough to know that in family court, dads have to deal with what 'is,' not what should be. === === |
#23
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how to file for child support
"SpiderHam77" wrote in message
oups.com... wrote: To the original poster, Just forget about child support, you probably make a lot more than your ex. If you live in an income shares state, you are not going to get all that much money anyway. You are one lucky guy. The system is strange and silly. You might get accused of abuse. It is a dirty, dirty, dirty system. Count your blessings, unless you want to post to this group full time. See now that kinda of logic and thinking is whats going to keep the system the same.. Could you imagine telling people from the Civil Rights movement that because they are black they should consider themselves lucky to just be working, and deal with it. Until and unless the Feds and the states change how they treat divorcing couples, the judicial system will continue to stick it to men as a collective. Remember, less then 15% of CPs are men. And it's even lower then that if they get a C$ award. Even then, C$ orders for NCP mothers are usually set at the lowest possible amount (according to state guidelines - now there's a joke!) the courts can allow. Do I agree with the way things are? Certainly not (as my previous posts will attest to). Nor do I believe that rolling over and taking it is the answer either. The minds of politicians and the public at large must be changed before divorce courts equalize their playing field. To me what alot of you have been saying is pretty much the same argument. If you read the story he presented correctly.. 6 years have passed since he was already AWARDED custody. Not fighting for it now.. already awarded it. Umm, Spider, he declined the award. "..at the divorce I declined any support. The judge told me that if I ever want it (child support and health insurance) to come back and ask for it." While I see a lot of very valid points being made here, I also believe that the OP's risk of loosing his kids is incredibly high. If it where me in his shoes, I'd really have to think long and hard about it before making a move. But in the end, unless I was hurting bad for cash, I seriously doubt I'd go ahead with it. I would hate to gamble with my kids like that. The courts are not going to try and undo this after 6 years of Custody, if the mother has not bothered to fight for custody yet. I like to think our judges are a little smarter then that. And can read between the lines... That would be a good point, if it was a woman we were talking about here. But as you are well aware, when the courts see a man, it's almost a done deal that he'll loose. That's not to say it couldn't work with a decent judge, which it sounds like he got the first time he was in court. In my mind the risks are just to great to risk my children's well being for a few bucks. But what the hell, try it and see what happens. The best that could happen is he gets the cash. At worst he looses his kids. |
#24
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how to file for child support
"SpiderHam77" wrote in message oups.com... wrote: To the original poster, Just forget about child support, you probably make a lot more than your ex. If you live in an income shares state, you are not going to get all that much money anyway. You are one lucky guy. The system is strange and silly. You might get accused of abuse. It is a dirty, dirty, dirty system. Count your blessings, unless you want to post to this group full time. See now that kinda of logic and thinking is whats going to keep the system the same.. Could you imagine telling people from the Civil Rights movement that because they are black they should consider themselves lucky to just be working, and deal with it. Apples and bananas..............using a corrupt system to benefit one's self just makes you as corrupt as the system. To me what alot of you have been saying is pretty much the same argument. If you read the story he presented correctly.. 6 years have passed since he was already AWARDED custody. Not fighting for it now.. already awarded it. Were you born clueless, or have you always just been that way? The courts are not going to try and undo this after 6 years of Custody, if the mother has not bothered to fight for custody yet. I like to think our judges are a little smarter then that. And can read between the lines... See above. And who cares how much he makes.. not the point... I make a fair bit of coin myself... My Son and can manage without any support from my ex. However it does not negate a person from taking care of their responsibilty. In my particular case as I mentioned.. Any money she gives me will go straight into a Register College Education Plan. End of story... And I will not be able to touch the money until he is 25 and decided not to use it for college. So you are as corrupt as the system. Talk to your daughters when they are older, if they wanna sue for support to go to college on, you can do that and put them through college with it. Your risks are too high. Male CP's are rare enough, and you could lose your kids. Don't do it. Is it worth a 10% (debatable) chance you might lose your kids for a couple hundred bucks a month? Is it worth even a 1% chance? Is it worth the chance to take any risk in life. If people are not willing to take a risk.. then nothing would ever become accomplished. No one would ever leave their door in day. In this case I believe the risk is well below 10%... and even it were 10%, I like those odds. I have a 9 in 10 chance in things going my way... Hmm.... I am begining to think you wre born clueless. Risks have to be calculated against the reward, not just the percentage chance of winning. In the OP's case, the reward is not there when compared to the risk, but you appear to clueless to see that fact. No one in their right mind would risk $100 on a 95% chance to win $5.00. That is what the OP would be doing by seeking support. SpiderHam77 J |
#25
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how to file for child support
P. Fritz wrote: Apples and bananas..............using a corrupt system to benefit one's self just makes you as corrupt as the system. I agree the courts should not be used to further finicial gain. However according to alot of people in here, women have have been doing it through CS for years. So why should men not be allowed, or encourage to the same thing if that is the only outcome of such a ploy. Secondly I don't believe CS should be considered a Finicial gain considering how much the average CP spends in both time and monatary value in an effort to raise a child. Why should the NCP not contribute to such an endenvor. Personally I'm a full support of the idea of Joint Custody and CS should not even be exchanged. However it's been shown to me here, time and time again that apparently this is just not possible. So again I ask if women have been allowed to force men to pay CS, why should we Single Dads not be allowed, or encourage to do the same thing. If for no other reason then to simply attempt to balance out the scale. To me what alot of you have been saying is pretty much the same argument. If you read the story he presented correctly.. 6 years have passed since he was already AWARDED custody. Not fighting for it now.. already awarded it. Were you born clueless, or have you always just been that way? Why is it if someone doesn't agree with your line of thinking they are considered dumb. Thats a very narrow minded approach to life. I'm sure glad your not in a position of power in the government... And who cares how much he makes.. not the point... I make a fair bit of coin myself... My Son and can manage without any support from my ex. However it does not negate a person from taking care of their responsibilty. In my particular case as I mentioned.. Any money she gives me will go straight into a Register College Education Plan. End of story... And I will not be able to touch the money until he is 25 and decided not to use it for college. So you are as corrupt as the system. I'm not as corrupt as the system.. I just have a belief that if you do something, you should be held accountable for your actions. End of story. You commit a crime, you do the time so to speak. In this case it was the creation of a child. Well last I checked it takes 2 people to do this, unless you can figure out a way to prove A-Sexual reproduction in women.. And once doing so randomly pick some guy off the street to support their child. I agree the system needs to be changed. CS awarding is slightly flawed in way it's calcualted alot of the time. However I know of very few people who would ever say that paying CS is simply wrong. The only people who seem to ever complain about CS being paid are the ones that have been somehow jadded by the system, and the lawyers they hire to defend them. I am begining to think you wre born clueless. Risks have to be calculated against the reward, not just the percentage chance of winning. In the OP's case, the reward is not there when compared to the risk, but you appear to clueless to see that fact. No one in their right mind would risk $100 on a 95% chance to win $5.00. That is what the OP would be doing by seeking support. No you read what I wrote wrong. If you refer back to the very post by the originator of the thred he stated that he has been AWARDED CUSTODY, use big letters so you don't miss it that time. And he DECLINED CS at that time. He did not go into details as to why.. could of been a variety of factors. However the judge advised him if he felt he ever needed it, to simply apply. Sounds like a very Stable Minded judge to me.. and most of the Judges I encountered during my custody hearings sounded about the same.. And along with a few other Single Fathers I know who fought for custody... both in the USA, and Canada where I live. Personally I don't think he has any risk at all of losing his Children. I have trouble imagining any judge, where the NCP has next to no contact over a period of 6 years all of the sudden handing over Custody to that person. Visitations maybe, but for some reason I think Visitations were already included in the original agreement. I think his risk of losing the children are at best 1 in 100 chance. Or 1%. I don't think after 6 years of custody he would lose it.. Makes no sense... Unles the older child, since it is her choice now being over 12, decides she wants to live with Mom... But that has nothing to do with the case at hand, as the child could decide to that at anytime. Regardless of what either parent wants... SpiderHam77 |
#26
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how to file for child support
On Fri, 10 Feb 2006 18:40:34 -0500, Werebat
wrote: Confused_Dad wrote: Go to your Social services department for your count and they will direct you in the right direction.. However be careful. I have read some of these posting and these people are right. I would not be suprised in the least if she tries to turn the custody on you. You are better off waiting until they are 17 and 11 (that way they can make their owm minds up). Then nail the B____ for child support. if everything goes your way she will have to pay for all arrears since the divorce (that's what happened to me to an extent). The mother of my daughter filed 10 months after and I had to pay all the way back to her birth. I didn't mind since she was my daughter. But I have heard other cases where this had happened (only to guys though of course) I agree, get by on your own until it's too late for her to file for a change of custody. The draconian laws about arrears are your friend here. - Ron ^*^ But since child support had already been addressed in the divorce (and not ordered with his consent), wouldn't retroactive support be limited to the time he files? Beverly |
#27
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how to file for child support
"Beverly" wrote in But since child support had already been addressed in the divorce (and not ordered with his consent), wouldn't retroactive support be limited to the time he files? True! Arrears only accrue from the time of an order is issued unless the child is under 6 years of age when filed and they take it all the way back to the date of birth as in my case! |
#28
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how to file for child support
I'm not sure how you go about it, but I think you are right in doing
so. I have been paying child support out the wazoo because I make lots more money than my ex, and it's only fair that men should be able to get the same compensation. Don't let others scare you about the change of custody order. Sure, she can pull that, but if you have no problems in your history then you are most likely just fine. The fact that the children have been with you 6.5 years makes me think that there was a reason you got them to start with, so there's a huge advantage. Do not fear! The easy (and smart) way is to retain a good attorney, and he'll handle everything for you. |
#29
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how to file for child support
I agree with Snowshoe here... The time factor alone... over 6 years
of Custody.. gives you whats known as Defacto Custody if nothing has ever been written on paper about the Custody. Meaning that the courts are not going to just upset the balance of the Children's lives, based on the fact that Mommy now wants them... I can't imagine any court ever doing such a thing. 6 years is a long time... And if there have been no complications up until now.. why would the courts step in an intervine. I find the people who are so against the courts and how rulings are made, are the ones who have had a ruling made against them, and not the way they wanted it to go. SpiderHam77 |
#30
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how to file for child support
"SpiderHam77" wrote in message oups.com... I agree with Snowshoe here... The time factor alone... over 6 years of Custody.. gives you whats known as Defacto Custody if nothing has ever been written on paper about the Custody. Meaning that the courts are not going to just upset the balance of the Children's lives, based on the fact that Mommy now wants them... I can't imagine any court ever doing such a thing. 6 years is a long time... And if there have been no complications up until now.. why would the courts step in an intervine. I find the people who are so against the courts and how rulings are made, are the ones who have had a ruling made against them, and not the way they wanted it to go. Just because it makes sense, Spidey, does not mean that that's the way it will happen. I can imagine a lawyer up there pleading that girls need their mothers during the difficulties of adolescence, and that mom has worked through the difficulties she was experiencing after the birth of her second child. She is now ready, willing, and able to be the mother that teenage girls need and deserve. A few tears from mom, regretting past decisions, "Oh, no, Your Honor, I don't hold their father in the least bit reponsible for driving me away because he didn't understand post partum depression. Why didn't I fight for my girls? I was so depressed that I was sure he would win in court. I was too weak to stand up for myself. The intervening years? Well, Sir, it has taken a lot of hard work on my part to get to where I am today. But now I am ready." quavering smile on tear-streaked face You have not experienced unfairness in court, so it is easy for you to encourage this man to take the chance. Those who *have* experienced unfairness are not so sure it is a good idea. |
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