kids watching other kids

"Banty" wrote in message
...
In article , bizby40
says...
To answer the question, I was okay leaving them with a sleeping
spouse
as soon as I was okay with staying in bed when they got up. I'd say
something like, "Daddy's asleep. Don't wake him up unless you
really
need to." Unfortunately for him, they usually "needed to" very
quickly.

The thing that strikes me odd about this is - don't Dads go on
business trips
before they're old enough to get up without a parent getting up,
too?

Seems to me this is something about parental roles more than when a
child can be
left alone with a sleeping parent per se.

I'm not sure what one parent versus two parents has to do with it,
except that she phrased the question such that she was wanting to
leave while her husband was home but asleep. Whether it's one
sleeping parent or two is really immaterial.

But it does *feel* different to actually be fully alert and then walk
out and leave the child with no other adults in the house awake than
it does to linger in bed for a bit after you've heard them stirring,
even though the end result is really no different.

Bizby

wrote:
enigma wrote:
walking 3 blocks to the store at age 4 was in a smaller town,
but we did walk a mile to school alone at 5 in Rochester NY.
shrug

I also grew up in Rochester! My mom told us a while back that when I
was a baby and my eldest sister was in kindergarten, my sister would
leave school at noon, walk about 1/2 a mile in the other direction,
pick up my 3 year old sister from nursery school, and then the two of
them would walk home.

I grew up in Ra-cha-cha too. In the city (19th ward), and I'd walk
to kindergarten with some neighbor kids who were probably in 2nd or 3rd
grade. I just googled it and it's about 1/2 mile. I actually was
talking to my mom about this a few days ago; the neighborhood's
definitely gotten worse and I don't think I'd let my kids walk there
alone. But maybe I've gotten too used to white, rich BMW-ville where I
live now. :P

Em
mama to Micah, 11/14/04

On 19 Nov 2006 19:54:53 -0800, wrote:

wrote:
enigma wrote:
walking 3 blocks to the store at age 4 was in a smaller town,
but we did walk a mile to school alone at 5 in Rochester NY.
shrug

I also grew up in Rochester! My mom told us a while back that when I
was a baby and my eldest sister was in kindergarten, my sister would
leave school at noon, walk about 1/2 a mile in the other direction,
pick up my 3 year old sister from nursery school, and then the two of
them would walk home.

I grew up in Ra-cha-cha too. In the city (19th ward), and I'd walk
to kindergarten with some neighbor kids who were probably in 2nd or 3rd
grade. I just googled it and it's about 1/2 mile. I actually was
talking to my mom about this a few days ago; the neighborhood's
definitely gotten worse and I don't think I'd let my kids walk there
alone. But maybe I've gotten too used to white, rich BMW-ville where I
live now. :P


And here I am, having grown up, and stayed, in Penfield. ;-)

- Rich

--
Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.

wrote in message
oups.com...

Stephanie wrote:
At what age would you leave kids alone in the house for a trip to the
store?
More to the point, what is the youngest age that this would be
conceivable?

I have a follow-up. My son (who's four) and I tend to wake up much
earlier than my husband does. There are times it'd be nice to be able
to run out quickly in the morning without taking him. How old would a
child have to be for the rest of you to be willing to leave a child
home with a sleeping parent?

I'd say 4 or 5yo. It sort of depends on the kid and what trouble they might
get into. My kids were not the type to go outside when told not to etc.
They didn't try to use the toaster when I wasn't looking. I felt pretty
sure that at 4yo all they would do is sit there and play or watch TV. Luke
is 5yo now and whether or not I'd leave him while his dad was asleep would
probably depend on the day we were all having. I actually trust him less as
he gets older.


--
Nikki, mama to
Hunter 4/99
Luke 4/01
Brock 4/06
Ben 4/06

"user" wrote in message
...
On 19 Nov 2006 14:31:33 -0800,
wrote:

bizby40 wrote:

The problem is that there is no real consensus, and in many places no
real laws that give people a guideline. There are also very wide
discrepancies in kids' maturity levels, and in their circumstances.
So there is no real guidance in this area for people. When I told a
friend that I'd decided my 10 year old could stay by herself for short
periods, she actually told me that I'd better not tell anyone because
if Social Services found out I'd be in trouble! It set me on a frenzy
of research before I was sure she was wrong.

I'm pretty sure that the laws tend to be quite vague, more or less on
purpose. I think in my state (North Carolina) it's considered
inappropriate to leave a child under eight home alone for any reason,
but older than that it's all considered a judgement call. It's not
inconceivable that a parent might be prosecuted for leaving a
ten-year-old home alone if for whatever reason Social Services thought
the situation warranted it, although it's probably quite unlikely. I
realize that they leave the rules vague so that someone can't point to
a rule saying 'ten is okay' if they leave a developmentally delayed
10-year-old home alone overnight, but the total lack of official rules
makes me a little nervous.

I honestly don't see where the rules of any given state regarding the
age of the child should should be of any concern, to anyone.

It really doesn't matter what the state says. If the child is
responsible enough and has access to outside help, to be left alone for
20 minutes when they're six - then let them stay home alone for 20
minutes,
and to heck with what the law says. If the kid is 14 and an incurable
pyromanic, then you take that into account and operate accordingly. The
state is just about the *least* relevent party when it comes to
understanding
what any particular child is capable of doing or not doing.



While I et your point, there is definitely an age at which a child cannot be
responsible enough to handle an emergency of the type that can happen in 20
minutes. And in my opinion 6 is still at that age.

- Rich

--
Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum
immane mittam.

I'd say 4 or 5yo. It sort of depends on the kid and what trouble they
might get into. My kids were not the type to go outside when told not to
etc. They didn't try to use the toaster when I wasn't looking. I felt
pretty sure that at 4yo all they would do is sit there and play or watch
TV. Luke is 5yo now and whether or not I'd leave him while his dad was
asleep would probably depend on the day we were all having. I actually
trust him less as he gets older.

If this kind of situation ever arose, with our 3.5yr old as he is right now,
I'd leave him, but that's very much his personality, if he does get up
early, all he does is sit in front of the TV as he's not naturally an early
riser. He's too small to reach anything that could harm him, like the cooker
or toaster. It's plausible he would go to the fridge and leave it open, or
something annoying, but not harmful. I imagine that as he gets older, like
you with Luke this will reverse.

Cheers

Anne

wrote in message
oups.com...

Stephanie wrote:
At what age would you leave kids alone in the house for a trip to the
store?
More to the point, what is the youngest age that this would be
conceivable?

I have a follow-up. My son (who's four) and I tend to wake up much
earlier than my husband does. There are times it'd be nice to be able
to run out quickly in the morning without taking him. How old would a
child have to be for the rest of you to be willing to leave a child
home with a sleeping parent?

Depends on what I left out the night before :P Sometimes if I am tired in
the morning I will either lock awake kid in my room with me and try to sleep
more or I will go out to the living room and dose off on the couch. As soon
as I get the kids room orginised better I will probably shut off their room
at night and then get them when either Bonnie lets them out (4) or I get
up.. we have tall door knobs here and Xavier cant reach them anymore.

Tori

user wrote:
On 19 Nov 2006 19:54:53 -0800, wrote:

wrote:


I grew up in Ra-cha-cha too. In the city (19th ward), and I'd walk
to kindergarten with some neighbor kids who were probably in 2nd or 3rd
grade. I just googled it and it's about 1/2 mile. I actually was
talking to my mom about this a few days ago; the neighborhood's
definitely gotten worse and I don't think I'd let my kids walk there
alone. But maybe I've gotten too used to white, rich BMW-ville where I
live now. :P


And here I am, having grown up, and stayed, in Penfield. ;-)


Penfield isn't Rochester. It's the suburbs. (I grew up in the city. My
parents still live there. One of my sisters is in Brighton.)

Naomi

- Rich

--
Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.

wrote in message
oups.com...

Stephanie wrote:
At what age would you leave kids alone in the house for a trip to the
store?
More to the point, what is the youngest age that this would be
conceivable?

I have a follow-up. My son (who's four) and I tend to wake up much
earlier than my husband does. There are times it'd be nice to be able
to run out quickly in the morning without taking him. How old would a
child have to be for the rest of you to be willing to leave a child
home with a sleeping parent?

DS is 5yo and DH does leave him home with me still asleep on weekends on
rare occasions. He just watches tv and doesn't get into any trouble. I
think I'm more comfortable doing it if the sleeping parent is aware of the
possibility that the child might be awake and the other parent may be out.
That way, if there is any screaming, it won't be ignored in the hopes that
the other parent will take care of it.