Conceiving

Hello there,
I'm a 35 year old woman trying to get pregnant. I have a couple of
quick questions that I'm hoping someone can help me answer. Is it
possible to be pregnant an still spot a tiny bit the first month?
Also, when is taking an HPT most reliable? After I miss my period or
can I get a valid result a few days after having sex? Any help is
greatly appreciated.

Thank you!

"MKO" wrote in message
ups.com...
Hello there,
I'm a 35 year old woman trying to get pregnant. I have a couple of
quick questions that I'm hoping someone can help me answer. Is it
possible to be pregnant an still spot a tiny bit the first month?
Also, when is taking an HPT most reliable? After I miss my period or
can I get a valid result a few days after having sex? Any help is
greatly appreciated.

Thank you!


Yes, it is absolutely possible to be pregnant and spot when you would
normally have your period. It's pretty common. Even to bleed enough that
it seems like a light period.

HPT's are most reliable when your period is due, generally. There isn't
enough hcg in your system a few days after conception, so testing so soon
after sex wouldn't be reliable.

Are you aware of when you are ovulating? Do you know for sure that you
ovulate? Do you have regular cycles? If you are not sure of any of the
above questions, or even if you are, you may want to buy the book common
referred to here as the Fertility Bible called "Taking Charge of Your
Fertility" by Toni Weschler. It can answer all sorts of questions you
didn't even think you had!

Good luck.

--

Jamie
Earth Angels:
Taylor Marlys -- 01/03/03
Addison Grace -- 09/30/04

On Aug 3, 12:02 pm, "Jamie Clark" wrote:
"MKO" wrote in message

ups.com...

Hello there,
I'm a 35 year old woman trying to get pregnant. I have a couple of
quick questions that I'm hoping someone can help me answer. Is it
possible to be pregnant an still spot a tiny bit the first month?
Also, when is taking an HPT most reliable? After I miss my period or
can I get a valid result a few days after having sex? Any help is
greatly appreciated.

Thank you!

Yes, it is absolutely possible to be pregnant and spot when you would
normally have your period. It's pretty common. Even to bleed enough that
it seems like a light period.

HPT's are most reliable when your period is due, generally. There isn't
enough hcg in your system a few days after conception, so testing so soon
after sex wouldn't be reliable.

Are you aware of when you are ovulating? Do you know for sure that you
ovulate? Do you have regular cycles? If you are not sure of any of the
above questions, or even if you are, you may want to buy the book common
referred to here as the Fertility Bible called "Taking Charge of Your
Fertility" by Toni Weschler. It can answer all sorts of questions you
didn't even think you had!

Good luck.

--

Jamie
Earth Angels:
Taylor Marlys -- 01/03/03
Addison Grace -- 09/30/04

Wow, thank you for such a quick reply. I have a few more questions...
I've been reading that women between 35-40 usually take 3 months or
more to conceive. Is that the norm? Can I really expect to wait 3
months? I believe I read on the MSNBC website that most women over 35
can't get pregnant w/o the help of some type of invitro treatment.
This has put me into a slight panic about my biological clock. I
don't want to resort to that method.. i couldn't afford it. Im just
looking for reassurance that most women my age (35) can expect to get
pregnant naturally and easily. to answer your question about
ovulation.. i haven't been looking for the signs but my cycle is very
predictalbe. However, from Nov - April i didn't have a period due to
stress. My doctor performed blood tests to check my horomone levels
and everyone was just fine. He contributed it to stress. That had
never happened before.. it's not something that is normal for me.

"MKO" wrote in message
ps.com...
On Aug 3, 12:02 pm, "Jamie Clark" wrote:
"MKO" wrote in message

ups.com...

Hello there,
I'm a 35 year old woman trying to get pregnant. I have a couple of
quick questions that I'm hoping someone can help me answer. Is it
possible to be pregnant an still spot a tiny bit the first month?
Also, when is taking an HPT most reliable? After I miss my period or
can I get a valid result a few days after having sex? Any help is
greatly appreciated.

Thank you!

Yes, it is absolutely possible to be pregnant and spot when you would
normally have your period. It's pretty common. Even to bleed enough
that
it seems like a light period.

HPT's are most reliable when your period is due, generally. There isn't
enough hcg in your system a few days after conception, so testing so soon
after sex wouldn't be reliable.

Are you aware of when you are ovulating? Do you know for sure that you
ovulate? Do you have regular cycles? If you are not sure of any of the
above questions, or even if you are, you may want to buy the book common
referred to here as the Fertility Bible called "Taking Charge of Your
Fertility" by Toni Weschler. It can answer all sorts of questions you
didn't even think you had!

Good luck.

--

Jamie
Earth Angels:
Taylor Marlys -- 01/03/03
Addison Grace -- 09/30/04

Wow, thank you for such a quick reply. I have a few more questions...
I've been reading that women between 35-40 usually take 3 months or
more to conceive. Is that the norm? Can I really expect to wait 3
months? I believe I read on the MSNBC website that most women over 35
can't get pregnant w/o the help of some type of invitro treatment.
This has put me into a slight panic about my biological clock. I
don't want to resort to that method.. i couldn't afford it. Im just
looking for reassurance that most women my age (35) can expect to get
pregnant naturally and easily. to answer your question about
ovulation.. i haven't been looking for the signs but my cycle is very
predictalbe. However, from Nov - April i didn't have a period due to
stress. My doctor performed blood tests to check my horomone levels
and everyone was just fine. He contributed it to stress. That had
never happened before.. it's not something that is normal for me.

I think average time (without problems) to conceive is about 3-4 months.
Your firtility gradually decreases, and you are probably less likely to
conceive at 35 than 25, but it is a gradual process, not oops hit 35 now it
takes 6 months to conceive rather than 3.
If the MSNBC website really said that "most" need help then it is inaccurate
(understatement here) more, yes, but not most. You're more likely to
conceive if you're relaxed about it, which is easier said than done!
Good luck.
Debbie

"MKO" wrote in message
ps.com...
On Aug 3, 12:02 pm, "Jamie Clark" wrote:
"MKO" wrote in message

ups.com...

Hello there,
I'm a 35 year old woman trying to get pregnant. I have a couple of
quick questions that I'm hoping someone can help me answer. Is it
possible to be pregnant an still spot a tiny bit the first month?
Also, when is taking an HPT most reliable? After I miss my period or
can I get a valid result a few days after having sex? Any help is
greatly appreciated.

Thank you!

Yes, it is absolutely possible to be pregnant and spot when you would
normally have your period. It's pretty common. Even to bleed enough
that
it seems like a light period.

HPT's are most reliable when your period is due, generally. There isn't
enough hcg in your system a few days after conception, so testing so soon
after sex wouldn't be reliable.

Are you aware of when you are ovulating? Do you know for sure that you
ovulate? Do you have regular cycles? If you are not sure of any of the
above questions, or even if you are, you may want to buy the book common
referred to here as the Fertility Bible called "Taking Charge of Your
Fertility" by Toni Weschler. It can answer all sorts of questions you
didn't even think you had!

Good luck.

--

Jamie
Earth Angels:
Taylor Marlys -- 01/03/03
Addison Grace -- 09/30/04

Wow, thank you for such a quick reply. I have a few more questions...

I'll answer them as best I can.

I've been reading that women between 35-40 usually take 3 months or
more to conceive. Is that the norm? Can I really expect to wait 3
months?

That is EXTREMELY optimistic and unlikely, especially for a woman 35 or
older. A 20 year old would be more likely conceive in 3 months, but even
that is a pretty short timeframe. But 20 year olds, and their eggs, are
extremely fresh and fertile. Unfortunately, you can't say that for a woman
who is 35. She still may be fertile, and she *might* conceive the first
time she tries, or 2nd, or 3rd, but her chances are less than those of a 20
year old. Regardless of what the media says, and how often you hear of this
or that celebrity getting pregnant at 40+, the fact of the matter is that as
you age, your eggs age too, and younger eggs just have a better chance of
fertilizing than older ones. It's as simple as that.

It would be more realistic to say 6 months to a year for a woman over 30.
If you haven't conceived in 6 months, (or a year, if you really want to push
it back), you should seek the assistant of an RE, Reproductive
Endocrinologist. Not your OB, no matter how well meaning they are and how
much they claim to specialise in fertility issues. An OB will waste your
time. Go straight to a fertility doctor. They can run the tests on you and
your dh, see what treatment options would most benefit you in your
particular situation. An OB is going to prescribe a 3-6 month supply of
clomid and tell you to come back when you are pregnant or out of pills.
This is NOT a good strategy, and wastes valuable and precious time.

Every time you ovulate and have sex at the perfect time, and there are no
other known or unknown fertility issues between you and your dh/so, you have
a 25% chance of conceiveing. That's when everything is perfect and the
stars are aligned. So if you or dh have any fertility issues, again, known
or unknown, then your odds of conceiving any given cycle go down, sometimes
drastically.

I believe I read on the MSNBC website that most women over 35
can't get pregnant w/o the help of some type of invitro treatment.
This has put me into a slight panic about my biological clock. I
don't want to resort to that method.. i couldn't afford it.

You misheard/misread that. It's not "without the help of some type of
invitro treatment" but without the help of some sort of "medical
assistance." There is one main IVF (invitro), but many ways to medically
assist acheiving pregnancy. The first and most basic is clomid, which can
help you ovulate if you don't already, and sometimes help you ovulate more
than one egg, thus increasing your chances of conception, and twins. There
is also IUI, which is intrauterine insemination, where they take dh's sperm,
wash it, and then insert it up into your uterus. This gives the sperm a
"FastPass," through the vaginal canal and cervix, and allows them to start
their journey to the egg closer to the finish line and in better shape!
There are also several kinds of injectable fertility medications that can be
used, and these, or the clomid, can be used in combination with IUI. There
are also a few tests that can be done before all of that, which not only
tell you what is going on with your body, your fertility, and dh's sperm,
but in some cases, can also help grease the works, so to speak, in terms of
flushing out your fallopian tubes. People who are ttc and need medical
assistance usually work through the majority of those steps before getting
to IVF. The only time that they pass everything and go straight to IVF is
if they are in a unique situation where they don't have ovaries, or
fallopian tubes, or the tests show that the tubes are blocked, or that dh
has very limited mobility in his sperm, etc.

Im just
looking for reassurance that most women my age (35) can expect to get
pregnant naturally and easily.

I wish I could give it to you, but I can't. That doesn't mean that some 30+
year old women don't get pregnant naturally and easily on their first few
months trying, because some may. But the odds are not in your favor.
Again, it could happen, but I wouldn't hold my breath. Better yet to have
realistic expectations and manage your expectations. If you set your mind
that it might be tough, and may not happen for at least 6 months to a year,
then if it happens any sooner it will be a total suprise and BONUS! But if
you really secretly expect it to happen quickly, then every time you get
your period you will be crushed, and after the 3 month mark, it's going to
get worse and worse, until each period feels a bit like a miscarrage.
Really. I know of what I speak. I actually got pregnant the first time we
tried at age 31, and had to terminate the pregnancy because our son was
developing with the majority of his internal organs on the outside of his
body. My next pregnancy took 1.5 years to acheive, and it was a blighted
ovum, meaning the heart never started to beat, and it ended via D&C at 8
weeks. Over the next few years, I managed to get pregnant naturally and
with assistance over 6 more times, but all ended just after conception,
around 4-5 weeks. We worked our way up the fertility ladder, and eventually
did donor egg IVF, which worked and then miscarried at 10 weeks, and regular
IVF which didn't work at all. At that point I was 36, and we moved on to
adoption. I'm now 41 and I have two beautiful daughters, aged 4.5 and
almost 3.

I know that when we really want something, it's easy to read through lots of
information (some right, some wrong, some positive and optimistic, and some
negative and pessimistic), and to pull out that which reinforces what we
want to be true, but unfortunately that doesn't always help. I'm not saying
you should be pessimistic and have no hope, I'm saying you should be
realistic and have hope.

to answer your question about
ovulation.. i haven't been looking for the signs but my cycle is very
predictalbe. However, from Nov - April i didn't have a period due to
stress. My doctor performed blood tests to check my horomone levels
and everyone was just fine. He contributed it to stress. That had
never happened before.. it's not something that is normal for me.

Well that's certainly not normal or predictable! Yikes. 6 months without a
period? I've had some really stressful times in my life and have never
missed a period. You really need to get the book, read it, and then
determine if you need additional testing to see if you really are ovulating
on a regular basis. Charting your basil body temperatures can help
determine that, as well as some basic blood work -- cycle day 3 day FSH
(follicle stimulating hormone) among other things. If your FSH levels are
high, then that tells the doctor that your body is having to work really
hard to produce a lot of FSH to get your ovaries to respond. This means
that your fertility is declining. You can still ovulate and get pregnant,
it's just more work. If your FSH levels are low, that tell us that your
fertility is still in good shape. There still can be other issues, but that
basic one is good.
--

Jamie
Earth Angels:
Taylor Marlys -- 01/03/03
Addison Grace -- 09/30/04

"Welches" wrote in message
...

"MKO" wrote in message
ps.com...
On Aug 3, 12:02 pm, "Jamie Clark" wrote:
"MKO" wrote in message

ups.com...

Hello there,
I'm a 35 year old woman trying to get pregnant. I have a couple of
quick questions that I'm hoping someone can help me answer. Is it
possible to be pregnant an still spot a tiny bit the first month?
Also, when is taking an HPT most reliable? After I miss my period or
can I get a valid result a few days after having sex? Any help is
greatly appreciated.

Thank you!

Yes, it is absolutely possible to be pregnant and spot when you would
normally have your period. It's pretty common. Even to bleed enough
that
it seems like a light period.

HPT's are most reliable when your period is due, generally. There isn't
enough hcg in your system a few days after conception, so testing so
soon
after sex wouldn't be reliable.

Are you aware of when you are ovulating? Do you know for sure that you
ovulate? Do you have regular cycles? If you are not sure of any of
the
above questions, or even if you are, you may want to buy the book common
referred to here as the Fertility Bible called "Taking Charge of Your
Fertility" by Toni Weschler. It can answer all sorts of questions you
didn't even think you had!

Good luck.

--

Jamie
Earth Angels:
Taylor Marlys -- 01/03/03
Addison Grace -- 09/30/04

Wow, thank you for such a quick reply. I have a few more questions...
I've been reading that women between 35-40 usually take 3 months or
more to conceive. Is that the norm? Can I really expect to wait 3
months? I believe I read on the MSNBC website that most women over 35
can't get pregnant w/o the help of some type of invitro treatment.
This has put me into a slight panic about my biological clock. I
don't want to resort to that method.. i couldn't afford it. Im just
looking for reassurance that most women my age (35) can expect to get
pregnant naturally and easily. to answer your question about
ovulation.. i haven't been looking for the signs but my cycle is very
predictalbe. However, from Nov - April i didn't have a period due to
stress. My doctor performed blood tests to check my horomone levels
and everyone was just fine. He contributed it to stress. That had
never happened before.. it's not something that is normal for me.

I think average time (without problems) to conceive is about 3-4 months.
Your firtility gradually decreases, and you are probably less likely to
conceive at 35 than 25, but it is a gradual process, not oops hit 35 now
it takes 6 months to conceive rather than 3.
If the MSNBC website really said that "most" need help then it is
inaccurate (understatement here) more, yes, but not most. You're more
likely to conceive if you're relaxed about it, which is easier said than
done!

Good luck.
Debbie

I know you mean well, Debbie, but your last statement is just not true.
Relaxing does not help you conceive. Do you think victims of rape who find
themselves pregnant were relaxed? Telling a woman to relax actually
stresses them out more, and making them feel responsible if they don't get
pregnant as soon as they want. It must be their fault, since they weren't
relaxed enough. Relaxing doesn't open clogged fallopian tubes, or make
women ovulate, or help sperm swim faster. Relaxing is nice, and may help
pass the time less anxiously, but it doesn't make you more fertile.

I don't mean to jump on you, but as someone who dealt with infertility and
losses for 5 years, hearing anyone say, "relax and it will happen" just
triggers a strong reflex.
--

Jamie
Earth Angels:
Taylor Marlys -- 01/03/03
Addison Grace -- 09/30/04

I don't mean to jump on you, but as someone who dealt with infertility and
losses for 5 years, hearing anyone say, "relax and it will happen" just
triggers a strong reflex.

I don't think she meant relaxing is some kind of magical solution to
make it happen, but if stress can change your cycle, then it can change
you fertility and if the stress is over trying to conceive, then trying
to reduce that stress could improve your chances.

The example of rape is not really relevant, it takes time for things to
change, so a period of stress might cause cycle changes, but if a women
is in her fertile period when she is raped, it's already too late, even
if stress from that point on might alter her cycle if she didn't fall
pregnant.

Cheers
Anne

On Aug 3, 1:35 pm, Anne Rogers wrote:
I don't mean to jump on you, but as someone who dealt with infertility and
losses for 5 years, hearing anyone say, "relax and it will happen" just
triggers a strong reflex.

I don't think she meant relaxing is some kind of magical solution to
make it happen, but if stress can change your cycle, then it can change
you fertility and if the stress is over trying to conceive, then trying
to reduce that stress could improve your chances.

The example of rape is not really relevant, it takes time for things to
change, so a period of stress might cause cycle changes, but if a women
is in her fertile period when she is raped, it's already too late, even
if stress from that point on might alter her cycle if she didn't fall
pregnant.

Cheers
Anne


This has been very eye opening for me. I didn't realize that even for
a 20 year old you could expect to wait 3 months to conceive. My
mother was so effective in scaring me with the "it only takes once"
speech that I thought it would be a piece of cake to get pregnant. I
was actually thinking i might be pregnant now because my partner and I
have been active literally for the last 20 days. we just started
trying this month.. july. but it's all about timing. This has been
very enlightening for me. I'm a little discouraged but feel better
knowing a little more.

"MKO" wrote in message
oups.com...
On Aug 3, 1:35 pm, Anne Rogers wrote:
I don't mean to jump on you, but as someone who dealt with infertility
and
losses for 5 years, hearing anyone say, "relax and it will happen" just
triggers a strong reflex.

I don't think she meant relaxing is some kind of magical solution to
make it happen, but if stress can change your cycle, then it can change
you fertility and if the stress is over trying to conceive, then trying
to reduce that stress could improve your chances.

The example of rape is not really relevant, it takes time for things to
change, so a period of stress might cause cycle changes, but if a women
is in her fertile period when she is raped, it's already too late, even
if stress from that point on might alter her cycle if she didn't fall
pregnant.

Cheers
Anne


This has been very eye opening for me. I didn't realize that even for
a 20 year old you could expect to wait 3 months to conceive. My
mother was so effective in scaring me with the "it only takes once"
speech that I thought it would be a piece of cake to get pregnant. I
was actually thinking i might be pregnant now because my partner and I
have been active literally for the last 20 days. we just started
trying this month.. july. but it's all about timing. This has been
very enlightening for me. I'm a little discouraged but feel better
knowing a little more.


Buy the book, buy the book, buy the book. Seriously. I can't recommend it
enough. You have no idea what you don't know!
--

Jamie
Earth Angels:
Taylor Marlys -- 01/03/03
Addison Grace -- 09/30/04

This has been very eye opening for me. I didn't realize that even for
a 20 year old you could expect to wait 3 months to conceive. My
mother was so effective in scaring me with the "it only takes once"
speech that I thought it would be a piece of cake to get pregnant. I
was actually thinking i might be pregnant now because my partner and I
have been active literally for the last 20 days. we just started
trying this month.. july. but it's all about timing. This has been
very enlightening for me. I'm a little discouraged but feel better
knowing a little more.

Your mum is right, it does only take once, have sex just once at the
right moment and it can and does happen, but just because it can happen
that way, doesn't mean it always does. The average is something around
3-6mths, with younger women doctors will usually wait a year before
investigating fertility, unless there is any reason to suspect a
problem, they wait less with older women simply because there is less
time to act, for the over 35s, charting cycles for a year is delaying
things too much if there is an issue, so they tend to dive right in as
soon as a women presents with a concern.

Cheers

Anne