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3yo avoiding potty training



 
 
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  #21  
Old March 14th 04, 03:58 AM
Iowacookiemom
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Default 3yo avoiding potty training

Bribery is in the form of his favorite candies. Doesn't care.

Same here.


We had special "poop candies" that Henry picked out himself. IIRC he
arbitrarily spied them in the Brachs display at the grocery store and asked me
to get some, and I happened to connect them to pooping -- something like, "Oh,
those are very special candies. We can't just buy them like we'd buy any
candy. But we can get a few and save them for when you poop in the potty."

To this day, none of us can stomach these particular candies anymore because
just seeing them makes us think of poop!

So along those lines, you might wait for Evan to really want something and then
make *that* (whatever it may be) the carrot.

That said, I think he's still a tad young to be worrying much. And as an
experienced mom you remember that in many ways, having a toddler in diapers is
easier than having a brand-new-trained toddler in big boy underpants who has to
find a toilet *right* *now*!

Take your time. TTSP.

-Dawn
Mom to Henry, 11

  #22  
Old March 14th 04, 03:32 PM
Naomi Pardue
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Default 3yo avoiding potty training

My youngest is about to turn 3. To say he is not interested in potty
training would be an understatement. He will not sit on the potty
without a diaper on.


As one who works in a daycare with lots of kids about this age, I say to drop
it for a few months. You can't force it, and the more you harp on it, the more
resistant he's going to get. (Even if/when he really wants to start trying,
he'll be likely to refuse, just because he knows it's what you want/have been
pressuring him to do.)

When he's ready, whenever that it, it will likely go very quickly, and you have
saved yourself a lot of wet floors, wet clothes, and misery.

At the preschool we have several kids (mostly 2's) who have been 'potty
training' for months to years, and still have regular accidents. Their parents
have simply decided that 'today my son/daughter is old enough to train', and
begin, and the result is endless misery for all. ("Come on, sweetie, lets go
sit on the potty." "No!" "Will you try?" "No!" "Just for a minute? You can
bring your toy with you." "No!" "You don't have to do a pee-pee?" "No!' "Are
you sure?" "Yes!" "Ok. Well, you be sure to tell me when you have to go, ok?"
.... and 5 minutes later, there is suddenly a puddle by Sweetie's feet ... and
this is repeated every day for months. Gets old.)

Three isn't really as old as all that, esp. with boys.


Naomi
CAPPA Certified Lactation Educator

(either remove spamblock or change address to to e-mail
reply.)

  #23  
Old March 14th 04, 10:49 PM
Nikki
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Default 3yo avoiding potty training

Robyn Kozierok wrote:
My youngest is about to turn 3. To say he is not interested in potty
training would be an understatement.


delurk

My youngest will be 3 next month and it is the same thing. About once every
week or two he'll complain that his diapers are to tight or something and
I'll tell him how comfy his Bob the Builder underwear would be. He only has
to pee in the potty. He then declares "I love my diapers" and various other
similar sentiments. I plan to do nothing about it and if he is still
refusing by next fall I'll see what happens then. I might declare a
training day or come up with some elaborate scheme :-)....or just wait a
while longer. I'm 90% sure he is physically ready right now.

My older son didn't train until he was 3.5. He *knew* it was important to
me and boy did he get a lot of mileage out of that. I hope to keep that
particular twist *out* of the training this time.

Good thread.
--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (4) and Luke (2)


  #24  
Old March 15th 04, 03:01 PM
Banty
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Default 3yo avoiding potty training

In article , Nikki says...

Robyn Kozierok wrote:
My youngest is about to turn 3. To say he is not interested in potty
training would be an understatement.



My older son didn't train until he was 3.5. He *knew* it was important to
me and boy did he get a lot of mileage out of that. I hope to keep that
particular twist *out* of the training this time.


My son trained completely and quickly at about 3.5 also. And I've seen this age
posted many times in these misc.kids fora for little boys. Possibly there's
something developmental may be going on, physically or emotionally or both.

Banty

  #25  
Old March 15th 04, 09:34 PM
Robyn Kozierok
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Default 3yo avoiding potty training

In article ,
Iowacookiemom wrote:

So along those lines, you might wait for Evan to really want something and then
make *that* (whatever it may be) the carrot.


This is a good idea; something to keep in mind.

We had a kind of cute exchange related to this a while back. Evan pulled
out one of Ryan's computer games that was *way* above his ability and said
he wanted to play it. I replied that that one was for big boys. "I big!"
he replied. I ended the conversation with, "Well, this one is for boys
who wear *underwear*" :-P

That said, I think he's still a tad young to be worrying much. And as an
experienced mom you remember that in many ways, having a toddler in diapers is
easier than having a brand-new-trained toddler in big boy underpants who has to
find a toilet *right* *now*!


Oh, yes, I really hate the "just trained" phase, and as I said we are
travelling this summer, so I'm pretty happy to just wait, and casually
promote the idea that *eventually* he will wear that cool underwear
and use the toilet.


Robyn (mommy to Ryan 9/93 and Matthew 6/96 and Evan 3/01)
--
"Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to
work hard at work worth doing." -- Theodore Roosevelt

  #26  
Old March 15th 04, 09:35 PM
Robyn Kozierok
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Default 3yo avoiding potty training

In article ,
mountainspring wrote:

From my own experience, both those statistics seem fairly accurate. My

son is just shy of the 3.5 mark and has just become potty trained.
Yesterday was the first day he pooped on the toilet...and even better,
he told me he needed to do it first! :-) Among the 6 kids in his
playgroup (who were all born within about a month of each other) the
girls all potty trained right around their 3rd birthday, and the boys
are just now getting trained.


Wow, that seems late compared to my experience; perhaps that is part
of my problem. My first son trained quickly on his 3rd birthday and my
second trained before he was 3 -- started around 2.5 but was't reliable
for quite a while. I think 10 years ago it was unusual for even a
boy to train much later than his 3rd birthday. I guess the average
age is getting older even as I travel this parenting journey ;-)

We tried not to pressure our son *too* much about it, just made it clear
that, eventually, we expected him to start using the potty. I think your
practice of asking your son each day whether he used the potty and being
somewhat nonchalant if he didn't and saying "maybe tomorrow" sounds like
a good way of handling it. Have faith, I don't think your son is at all
unusual in his refusal to use the potty at his age. I suspect in a few
months he'll suddently announce that he wants to go use the potty.


He teased me the other day. When I was changing his diaper I casually
asked, as I often do, if he wanted to sit on the potty as long as he
was naked. He said "No... um, yes". So, I asked, trying to mask my
shock, "You want to go sit on the potty now?" "No," he replied. "Oh,"
said I, "Ok, when *do* you want to sit on the potty?" "Tomorrow."

Robyn (mommy to Ryan 9/93 and Matthew 6/96 and Evan 3/01)
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"Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to
work hard at work worth doing." -- Theodore Roosevelt

  #27  
Old March 16th 04, 06:44 AM
Jeanette Haring
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Default 3yo avoiding potty training

Just want you to know that you still have time, he is only 3. Our
grandson turned three in Feb. and he is doing great now ,but there is no
rule that he must be trained be the time he's 3 and a half. Try standing
him on a step stool or somthing that makes him able to go in the potty,
pour some water, in the toilet and make bubbles, and ask him to pee in
the potty to make bubbles of is own, that's what our little guy did and
thought it was great fun. That's all she wrote, he was on his way to
doing what had to be done. He even had a new brother Feb. 12 and hasn't
back slid at all, still making bubbles.





























  #28  
Old March 31st 04, 07:04 PM
Bev Brandt
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Default 3yo avoiding potty training

(Robyn Kozierok) wrote in message ...
In article ,
Bev Brandt wrote:


Last month I wrote:

We live walking distance from a high caliber, private university. I'm
convinced that my youngest is smart enough to go to med school there.
I'm also convinced that between classes he's going to rush home so
that I can change his diaper.


Welp. Not gonna happen! Seems that my future doctor, lawyer,
charismatic politician (whatever) will not be sporting dipes at age
20! Woo-hoo!! ;-)

hee hee

Well, good luck and let me know if anythign works ;-)

--Robyn (mommy to Ryan 9/93 and Matthew 6/96 and Evan 3/01)


I still don't really know what actually "worked." We'd tried
everything, as I'd posted, and he wasn't about to be talked into potty
training.

He *was* going through an independent streak - wanting to get dressed
by himself *completely* without even so much as a parent helping turn
shirts right-side-out. And he was going through a competitive stage as
well, wanting to get dressed faster than his older brother or sister.

His main problem was the diapers. They slowed him down and he needed
help to get one on.

So, one morning as he was kind of struggling putting on his diaper and
complaining that the process was too slow and he couldn't do it by
himself, I casually said: "Underwear is easier to put on and faster."
He trotted up to his room, got his underwear out (we'd also switched
him over to a chest of drawers that he could more easily open) and put
on underwear. I told him that was great, but I didn't say too much
else because he'd done this part before.

Later that day I got a call at work from *my* *son* telling me that
he'd been peeing in the potty all day. He was very excited about it
and very proud! (Being in a business environment and chatting it up
with your 3 year old on the phone is surreal.)

That was about a week ago and he hasn't "backslid" yet. A few minor
accidents, but overall, we couldn't be happier! The kid even gets up
in the middle of the night to go!

Another data point in the "they'll do it when they're ready" camp and
hope that even late trainers eventually train.

- Bev

  #29  
Old March 31st 04, 11:59 PM
illecebra
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Default 3yo avoiding potty training

On Wed, 31 Mar 2004 13:04:58 -0500, Bev Brandt wrote:

snip

Later that day I got a call at work from *my* *son* telling me that
he'd been peeing in the potty all day. He was very excited about it
and very proud! (Being in a business environment and chatting it up
with your 3 year old on the phone is surreal.)

That was about a week ago and he hasn't "backslid" yet. A few minor
accidents, but overall, we couldn't be happier! The kid even gets up
in the middle of the night to go!

Another data point in the "they'll do it when they're ready" camp and
hope that even late trainers eventually train.

- Bev


Yay!!!

Susan

  #30  
Old April 2nd 04, 06:38 PM
Robyn Kozierok
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Default 3yo avoiding potty training

In article ,
Bev Brandt wrote:

So, one morning as he was kind of struggling putting on his diaper and
complaining that the process was too slow and he couldn't do it by
himself, I casually said: "Underwear is easier to put on and faster."
He trotted up to his room, got his underwear out (we'd also switched
him over to a chest of drawers that he could more easily open) and put
on underwear. I told him that was great, but I didn't say too much
else because he'd done this part before.

Later that day I got a call at work from *my* *son* telling me that
he'd been peeing in the potty all day. He was very excited about it
and very proud! (Being in a business environment and chatting it up
with your 3 year old on the phone is surreal.)

That was about a week ago and he hasn't "backslid" yet. A few minor
accidents, but overall, we couldn't be happier! The kid even gets up
in the middle of the night to go!

Another data point in the "they'll do it when they're ready" camp and
hope that even late trainers eventually train.


Awesome! Congrats to you and your son.

No miracles here yet, but we mention the pleasure of underwear from
time to time. He hasn't tried them on yet. He'll probably decide to
wear underwear the day before we leave on our summer vacation :-O


Robyn (mommy to Ryan 9/93 and Matthew 6/96 and Evan 3/01)
--
"Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to
work hard at work worth doing." -- Theodore Roosevelt

 




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