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military schools?



 
 
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  #41  
Old October 3rd 03, 03:29 PM
Tracy Cramer
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default military schools?

On Thu, 2 Oct 2003 17:21:24 -0600, "ColoradoSkiBum"
wrote:

That's pretty interesting that he has decided that all on his own.


What you need to understand is that this is a child that was having very serious
problems. His early childhood was tumultuous and he has some behavioural issues
(ADHD, ODD) as well. To be frank, his behaviour was causing a lot of problems in
our family and it came to a head last year. While we could have kept him home
and just continued to sweep the problems under the rug, we decided to have him
commited to the juvenile correctional system. It was a really tough decision to
make, but 18 months out, I can see that it was the right one because I can tell
how much he has matured and grown in that time. He's getting the help that he
needed that we just couldn't provide (because the types of programs he's in
aren't available on an out-patient basis around here).

We've seen a lot more thought put into his future, including the issue about
military school. He has the desire to lead a decent life and be a responsible
person that contributes something positive to the world. In order to do that, he
knows that he needs every minute of his day to be structured.


I had a
student when I taught in Missouri, as a freshman, the kid was just
awful--very smart, very nice one-on-one, but would absolutely ruin any
classroom he was in due to his behavior. Then one day he disappeared--went
to Colorado to live with his dad and go to military school. He came back to
visit a couple years later, a totally different kid: Polite, well mannered,
and he said right out that that was exactly what he needed.


Some kids aren't able to understand that a highly structured environment is best
for them, and some parents miss that as well. It sounds like this kid really
turned himself around thanks to the school, which is good to know!



Tracy


======================================
We child proofed our home 3 years ago
and they're still getting in!
======================================
  #42  
Old October 3rd 03, 03:50 PM
Tracy Cramer
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default military schools?

On Thu, 2 Oct 2003 20:40:12 -0600, "ColoradoSkiBum"
wrote:
Like I said we're on the last ditch effort here. If he doesn't make it out
this time then he's probably going to be sent to a "day treatment" sort of
place--IOW a mental hospital as an outpatient rather than living there all
the time. I feel so ****ing sorry for the poor kid, but I don't know what
else we can do for him.


I feel for you because I have an idea of what you're going through. I understand
how frustrating it is to have a child that is having major problems, but is
still a neat person. You get so ****ed at them for behaving the way they do and
yet you still see how much they could accomplish if they put their attention to
doing good things.

The one thing I will tell you right now is to get help for your SS ASAP. The
longer you wait, the worse the problems will get.

Treatment centers are extremely expensive. I know one around here is $440 per
*day* for inpatient treatment (I don't know about outpatient). IMHO, if the
child's behaviour is really serious, inpatient treatment might be the best
option in order to give the family some breathing room.

In our case, our health insurance would have paid the bill (except for the $1K
yearly family deductible) if DS was dx'd as having schizophrenia, bipolar
disorder or any type of pervasive developmental disorder (such as autism or
aspergers). You might want to check to see what coverage your health insurance
offers because a lot of insurance companies have cut back on mental health
coverage to reduce costs.

To start off, you probably want to find a good psychiatrist that can evaluate
your SS thoroughly. He/she can do a bunch of tests as well as an in-depth
interview and the doc's report will give you a clear idea of how to proceed. You
might call your local MH/MR to see if they can help. One of the docs from our
MH/MR did my DS's evaluation and she was so incredibly thorough, I couldn't
believe it. She's been a great source of information for me as well and we
certainly couldn't have made the decisions we did without her input.

It's hard to get help for kids like this and it's *frustrating*. You just have
to keep calling people and talking to them. If you can find a psychiatrist who
will work with you, you'll have a much easier time.

BTW, don't forget about yourself and the other members of your family. You might
consider counseling for everyone because having one child whose behaviour causes
so many problems can cause a lot of problems for everyone else.

Good luck,
Tracy
======================================
We child proofed our home 3 years ago
and they're still getting in!
======================================
  #43  
Old October 3rd 03, 06:05 PM
mbajema
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default military schools?

"dejablues" wrote in message ...
I googled her (I think this is a female) and she claims to be a high-school
teacher, and it involved in swinging (swapping partners for sex). Something
is seriously wrong there.

I don't think you were harsh at all. Coloradoskibum only hears what he/she
wants to hear.


Poor kid. Sounds like he needs help, not sure that military school
would necessarily be the answer...he's only 12, IIRC.

Mary

"mbajema" wrote in message
om...
Banty wrote in message

...
In article , mbajema

says...

dragonlady wrote in message
...
In article ,
(mbajema) wrote:

"ColoradoSkiBum" wrote in message
...
Why military school? What do you hope to get from one?
:
:
: gee, maybe discipline, manners, courtesy, respect? Things that

are
: SORELY lacking in the public school system these days....

That, precisely. Do you have any idea where we might start our

search?

Why not start by looking in the mirror. The aforementioned
discipline, manners, courtesy, and respect starts in the home, you
fool.

Mary

That was certainly mannerly, courteous and respectful. . .

meh


Sorry, I call it as I see it. We are talking about him and his kid,

not me.

Mary


Kinda blew away your own point about being mannerly and courteous

though...


I know, I know. I wrote in the heat of the moment, though, and I
shouldn't have. I had just read a post of his over at
alt.support.step-parents and was not overly impressed with his
parenting skills. He really did seem like a fool to me, at the
moment.

Mary

  #44  
Old October 3rd 03, 06:55 PM
mbajema
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default military schools?

"dejablues" wrote in message ...
I googled her (I think this is a female) and she claims to be a high-school
teacher, and it involved in swinging (swapping partners for sex). Something
is seriously wrong there.

I don't think you were harsh at all. Coloradoskibum only hears what he/she
wants to hear.


I just googled her, too. You're right, there's some sick stuff there.

Mary

"mbajema" wrote in message
om...
Banty wrote in message

...
In article , mbajema

says...

dragonlady wrote in message
...
In article ,
(mbajema) wrote:

"ColoradoSkiBum" wrote in message
...
Why military school? What do you hope to get from one?
:
:
: gee, maybe discipline, manners, courtesy, respect? Things that

are
: SORELY lacking in the public school system these days....

That, precisely. Do you have any idea where we might start our

search?

Why not start by looking in the mirror. The aforementioned
discipline, manners, courtesy, and respect starts in the home, you
fool.

Mary

That was certainly mannerly, courteous and respectful. . .

meh


Sorry, I call it as I see it. We are talking about him and his kid,

not me.

Mary


Kinda blew away your own point about being mannerly and courteous

though...


I know, I know. I wrote in the heat of the moment, though, and I
shouldn't have. I had just read a post of his over at
alt.support.step-parents and was not overly impressed with his
parenting skills. He really did seem like a fool to me, at the
moment.

Mary

  #45  
Old October 3rd 03, 07:49 PM
Barbara Bomberger
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default military schools?

On Thu, 2 Oct 2003 17:27:01 -0600, "ColoradoSkiBum"
wrote:

: Yes, indeed they should, values that are good and will be reinforced by
: the school system. Trouble is, our public school system is crippled

sigh Yes, that's the problem we're running into here. We're trying our
very best to teach values at home. SS came to us when he was 10 years old,
so a lot of the "values" were already set, and we've had a long road
changing them. He seems to have responded *at home*--we don't have trouble
with him, he's actually very well behaved *at home*--but at school it's a
totally different story. Refuses to do work. Tells the teachers he doesn't
have to do what they say. And on, and on, and on....I could literally write
3 or 4 pages about this kid. And the people at school, their hands are
tied. They *can't* talk to him the way we do; they can't physically
restrain him; he knows this and he walks all over them. (My favorite is when
he tells them we're going to sue them.)


Okay, again, this is NOT what military school is for. MIlitary school
is for kids who need and want a certain structure. Sound s to me like
the problems have nothing to do with "values" at all.

Your stepson needs a good child psychologist. sorry to yell, but
RIGHT NOW.

I also had a son who refused to do homework in the sixth grade. He
had no friends because he had so little self control and self image
that every time someone teased him about even something another kid
would laugh off and say "I know you are" or such, he would either
scream or lose control, or else he would start crying. He would stand
on the side of the playground and watch, cause no one else would play
with him.

The smartest thing I did was taking him to the Child Psycologist. He
met with her once a week, and also with a group of other kids once a
week who had the same social problems he did. I dont know what they
discussed, it was private. In our case after a year he decided to
stop on his own accord. He is now going on fifteen and in the 9th
grade, It was tough, but he now actually has friends, is doing well
in school and is a fun kid.

he just needed the chance that we gave him. He sitll has self esteem
issues and is liable to burst out "I'm just stupid" or something if we
correct his work, so its not over yet. And because of those issues,
he always wants mom and dad to be the ultimate "norm".

Please try and get this kid some help outside of family and school as
soon as possible.

Barb

Hence, the fact-finding mission.

Someone else mentioned JROTC. Unfortunately he's in 7th grade, so that's
not an option at this point. I don't think he'll make it to 9th grade at
the rate he's going. He'll be expelled or get his ass kicked by all the
other kids (who hate him) long before he gets there.


  #46  
Old October 3rd 03, 07:52 PM
T.R.H
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default military schools?

mbajema wrote:

"dejablues" wrote in message ...

I googled her (I think this is a female) and she claims to be a high-school
teacher, and it involved in swinging (swapping partners for sex). Something
is seriously wrong there.

I don't think you were harsh at all. Coloradoskibum only hears what he/she
wants to hear.



I just googled her, too. You're right, there's some sick stuff there.

Mary

so who cares? unless CSB is involving said kid in whatever they do in
their own bedroom, its not relavant, "if" it was the same person.

I "googled" CSB as well, all I found was some threads in
alt.whatever.sexuality where they talked about expressing fantasies
etc... mild stuff IMO, unless you saw something I didnt.

In any case, what is "sick" to one person may not be to another, and if
CSB is talking about sexual fantasies etc. on another group I fail to
see HOW it has ANYTHING to do with wanting to put a child in military
school.


  #47  
Old October 3rd 03, 09:13 PM
Penny Gaines
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default military schools?

Barbara Bomberger wrote in :

[snip]
Okay, again, this is NOT what military school is for. MIlitary school
is for kids who need and want a certain structure. Sound s to me like
the problems have nothing to do with "values" at all.

[snip]

Speaking as an ignorant Brit here, just what is a military school? We
don't (AFAIK) have them in the UK, and I've only come across them as
references in US films. Are they "just" a particularly structured
boarding school or what?

--
Penny Gaines
UK mum to three
  #48  
Old October 3rd 03, 10:22 PM
JennP
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default military schools?


"T.R.H" wrote in message
news:3Ajfb.8507$%[email protected]

so who cares? unless CSB is involving said kid in whatever they do in
their own bedroom, its not relavant, "if" it was the same person.

I "googled" CSB as well, all I found was some threads in
alt.whatever.sexuality where they talked about expressing fantasies
etc... mild stuff IMO, unless you saw something I didnt.

In any case, what is "sick" to one person may not be to another, and if
CSB is talking about sexual fantasies etc. on another group I fail to
see HOW it has ANYTHING to do with wanting to put a child in military
school.


Not to mention how it is a HUGE breach of nettiquite to bring subjects from
other ngs into another.

--
JennP.

mom to Matthew 10/11/00
remove "no........spam" to reply


  #49  
Old October 3rd 03, 11:23 PM
T.R.H
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default military schools?

JennP wrote:
"T.R.H" wrote in message
news:3Ajfb.8507$%[email protected]


so who cares? unless CSB is involving said kid in whatever they do in
their own bedroom, its not relavant, "if" it was the same person.

I "googled" CSB as well, all I found was some threads in
alt.whatever.sexuality where they talked about expressing fantasies
etc... mild stuff IMO, unless you saw something I didnt.

In any case, what is "sick" to one person may not be to another, and if
CSB is talking about sexual fantasies etc. on another group I fail to
see HOW it has ANYTHING to do with wanting to put a child in military
school.



Not to mention how it is a HUGE breach of nettiquite to bring subjects from
other ngs into another.

you bet, he/she's just asking a simple question about a military school
for their child, unneccesary nosing about by self-righteous busybodies
is out of place and TOTALLY unnecesary, not to mention that they don't
even know if it is the same person, but like I said, even if so it has
NOTHING to do with the subject matter being discussed on this board!

  #50  
Old October 4th 03, 12:00 AM
dejablues
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default military schools?

It's the same person, unless they can spoof the email and nntp posting host
together. One can't expect to post personal stuff on Usenet and *only* have
it reach your *intended* audience. This person was flaky enough(or
thoughtless, or just didn't care) to post enough personal info so that
even the casual observer could identify them in RL. If the OP thinks that
these issues are unrelated, their head is way too deep in the sand. If they
want useful answers, they have to be forthcoming.

"T.R.H" wrote in message
news:[email protected]
JennP wrote:
"T.R.H" wrote in message
news:3Ajfb.8507$%[email protected]


so who cares? unless CSB is involving said kid in whatever they do in
their own bedroom, its not relavant, "if" it was the same person.

I "googled" CSB as well, all I found was some threads in
alt.whatever.sexuality where they talked about expressing fantasies
etc... mild stuff IMO, unless you saw something I didnt.

In any case, what is "sick" to one person may not be to another, and if
CSB is talking about sexual fantasies etc. on another group I fail to
see HOW it has ANYTHING to do with wanting to put a child in military
school.



Not to mention how it is a HUGE breach of nettiquite to bring subjects

from
other ngs into another.

you bet, he/she's just asking a simple question about a military school
for their child, unneccesary nosing about by self-righteous busybodies
is out of place and TOTALLY unnecesary, not to mention that they don't
even know if it is the same person, but like I said, even if so it has
NOTHING to do with the subject matter being discussed on this board!



 




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