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#11
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when pretend play goes too far...
Kids are interesting in the ways that they try to figure out the parameters
of their world: who's in charge? How much control do they actually have? And what is 'real' anyway? (TV must be so confusing!). I think we help them most when we define and hold limits for them -- we can help them keep track of reality -- of boundaries and to maintain a sense of stability in the world. I don't think it hurts, in the long run, to let a child have a hissy fit because you really truly cannot drive to see an imaginary horse. The way to 'get out of taking her' is to tell her the truth: "I can't take you someplace that only exists in your imagination. I can play with you and we can pretend there is a horse...just like we sip pretend tea at a tea party or 'talk' for our dollies, but I cannot go to a place that doesn't exist." And when she tells you, "you took me yesterday," I'd say that I was pretending with her, but I'm not going to drive places that don't really exist any more." If she cries, stamps her feet and lashes out at you -- it means she's heard you and is trying her best to manipulate you into doing something that she wants you to do. Good practice for adolescence. Gwen This is one of the best responses I have ever seen. When I read the original post - it's when she insists i TAKE her to her pretend family or pretend horse barn. how do i get out of actually taking her somewhere time after time? I was thinking - Just say NO, and let her have a big fit. Gwen - you said it so much more eloquently and explained what I was thinking. Sometimes we just have to remember we are the parents, they are the children. Anyways, I agree with Gwen, and good luck!! Diana (with Jared, Vanessa, & Grace - all of whom have trouble hearing the word no on occassion - but then again, the apples don't fall far from the tree!) |
#12
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when pretend play goes too far...
Diana wrote:
This is one of the best responses I have ever seen. ... I was thinking - Just say NO, and let her have a big fit. Gwen - you said it so much more eloquently and explained what I was thinking. Sometimes we just have to remember we are the parents, they are the children. Thanks Diana...and what YOU wrote is the bottom line -- kids need parents to be the adults. (BTW, I'd better be able to articulate this, as a therapist I deal with a lot of kid/adult boundary issues g) Gwen |
#13
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when pretend play goes too far...
Diana wrote:
This is one of the best responses I have ever seen. ... I was thinking - Just say NO, and let her have a big fit. Gwen - you said it so much more eloquently and explained what I was thinking. Sometimes we just have to remember we are the parents, they are the children. Thanks Diana...and what YOU wrote is the bottom line -- kids need parents to be the adults. (BTW, I'd better be able to articulate this, as a therapist I deal with a lot of kid/adult boundary issues g) Gwen |
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