A Q? My Husband asked me about TTC...

Ok all, here is a question my husband asked me about TTC that I have no
answer for. I was speechless. I dunno! I told him I was considering trying
out some of those First Response Ovulation test strips that are supposed to
tell you 24-48 hours before you ovulate if you use them at the right time. I
figure it will be good to know for sure when to do it, to ease my worries
about TTC #2 because for some reason I think this next baby is not going to
be as easy as the first. I just have a feeling...

Well, he asked me: "Why would anyone buy those sticks--If you are TTC,
couldn't you just save the money and just have sex every night? Then you
will be sure you "did it" during your fertile time, since you did it every
day".

Um...what do I say to this?? He basically thinks if you are urgent about TTC
and want to conceive as soon as possible, the solution is to have sex every
day until you get a positive test. So, he wonders why shell out the money
for ovulation predictors. Some of them, with the monitors, are very
expensive.

And 1 more question, a little different: what is Clomid supposed to do to
help with TTC? I have an OB appointment next week and don't know anything
about fertility drugs, but am wondering how long we will TTC with no results
before an OB would likly want to try something like this? I have already
been told because I have endometriosis I don't need to "sit on it" too long
if I really want to conceive. This was not an OB, but my regular dr, who
said if I am trying nightly and don't conceive within a few months I need to
have the endo checked. He said about 3 months and I might want to go ahead
and go for a laparoscopy to make sure it has not spread.

"blue" wrote in message
...
Ok all, here is a question my husband asked me about TTC that I have no
answer for. I was speechless. I dunno! I told him I was considering trying
out some of those First Response Ovulation test strips that are supposed
to tell you 24-48 hours before you ovulate if you use them at the right
time. I figure it will be good to know for sure when to do it, to ease my
worries about TTC #2 because for some reason I think this next baby is not
going to be as easy as the first. I just have a feeling...

Well, he asked me: "Why would anyone buy those sticks--If you are TTC,
couldn't you just save the money and just have sex every night? Then you
will be sure you "did it" during your fertile time, since you did it every
day".

Actually I think you're meant to have sex every 2-3 days for most likely
conception. If you go for every day then the sperm is more dilute,, or not
as good or something. Yes, you should hit the fertile time even then, but
not necessarily the most fertile time.
Um...what do I say to this?? He basically thinks if you are urgent about
TTC and want to conceive as soon as possible, the solution is to have sex
every day until you get a positive test. So, he wonders why shell out the
money for ovulation predictors. Some of them, with the monitors, are very
expensive.

I would say that it can help date the pregnancy, particularly if your cycles
are irregular.
But you could try the temperature method, which gives you approximately the
right time you're ovulating and only costs a thermometer.
But if having the machines makes you more relaxed about conceiving (then
you're more likely to conceive) so it could be worth it.

And 1 more question, a little different: what is Clomid supposed to do to
help with TTC? I have an OB appointment next week and don't know anything
about fertility drugs, but am wondering how long we will TTC with no
results before an OB would likly want to try something like this? I have
already been told because I have endometriosis I don't need to "sit on
it" too long if I really want to conceive. This was not an OB, but my
regular dr, who said if I am trying nightly and don't conceive within a
few months I need to have the endo checked. He said about 3 months and I
might want to go ahead and go for a laparoscopy to make sure it has not
spread.
Clomide increases egg production I think. I don't know that it would help
with problems due to endometriosis. Ask your doctor.
Debbie

blue wrote:
Ok all, here is a question my husband asked me about TTC that I have no
answer for. I was speechless. I dunno! I told him I was considering trying
out some of those First Response Ovulation test strips that are supposed to
tell you 24-48 hours before you ovulate if you use them at the right time. I
figure it will be good to know for sure when to do it, to ease my worries
about TTC #2 because for some reason I think this next baby is not going to
be as easy as the first. I just have a feeling...

Well, he asked me: "Why would anyone buy those sticks--If you are TTC,
couldn't you just save the money and just have sex every night? Then you
will be sure you "did it" during your fertile time, since you did it every
day"

Because if you have sex every day, the sperm count per sex act is lower
than if you do it every 2-3 days. The reason sperm count is important,
is that even though it only takes one sperm to fertilize the egg, it
takes MANY sperm to break down the outer covering enough that one of
the sperm can get through.

That said, the window of fertility is fairly small - you are basically
fertile about 4 or 5 days out of the month. *MAYBE* 3 days before
ovulation, the day of, and MAYBE one day after. I think it's something
like that. However, each individual woman is different, and the
conditions for ovulation change from day to day. So *YOU* might only
have a 3 day fertile window, and if you are having sex every 3rd day,
you might miss it. And, you might be MORE fertile one single day of
those 3 days, and having sex with a good sperm count THAT day might
work better.

That said, plenty of people DO get pregnant by having a lot of sex,
even every day. :-)

I charted and figured out when I ovulated, and all that, and used the
kits as a method to check my charting to see if my charting was
accurate. I did it because I really wanted to have a daughter, and you
are hypothecially supposed to be able to influence the sex of the baby
by timing sex a certain way. However, we tried to conceive for 8
months, and after the first six months of not getting pregnant, I quit
worrying about timing for getting one gender or another, and just tried
to get *pregnant*. I ended up having a daughter, despite not trying to
conceive one.

Honestly, unless you are trying to influence the gender, I wouldn't
bother with the ovulation predictor kits until you think there might
actually be a problem. Why not give his method a try for a few months?


Cathy Weeks

"Welches" wrote
Clomide increases egg production I think. I don't know that it would help
with problems due to endometriosis. Ask your doctor.
Debbie


Thanks for the reply...I really didn't know how to answer my husband, LOL.
We saw the dr today, and he didn't get into Clomid much, just said it won't
help the endo, like you said. He said I would not be a candidate for Clomid
until I have laparoscopy again and then have problems, which he doesn't
think is likely.

I'm passing on the ovulation kits and we are just going to plan according to
my cycles. The dr did mention it is probably better not to "work" so hard,
or rather *make* it *work*, and he also said it could be more productive to
shoot for every other day and not what my husband says, which is if you
really want to try your best do it every day. Dr. said taking it every other
day would give the sperm count time to raise. I just never thought about it
before...didn't have time to think/plan so much for #1 as she came first
cycle. TTC, if it doesn't happen right away, will be a new deal for me. I
just sort of want to be prepared that this time *might* not be so easy.

But, away we go--we are definitely TTC and TTR (trying to relax). =)

"Cathy Weeks" wrote in message
oups.com...

blue wrote:
Ok all, here is a question my husband asked me about TTC that I have no
answer for. I was speechless. I dunno! I told him I was considering
trying
out some of those First Response Ovulation test strips that are supposed
to
tell you 24-48 hours before you ovulate if you use them at the right
time. I
figure it will be good to know for sure when to do it, to ease my worries
about TTC #2 because for some reason I think this next baby is not going
to
be as easy as the first. I just have a feeling...

Well, he asked me: "Why would anyone buy those sticks--If you are TTC,
couldn't you just save the money and just have sex every night? Then you
will be sure you "did it" during your fertile time, since you did it
every
day"

Because if you have sex every day, the sperm count per sex act is lower
than if you do it every 2-3 days. The reason sperm count is important,
is that even though it only takes one sperm to fertilize the egg, it
takes MANY sperm to break down the outer covering enough that one of
the sperm can get through.

That said, the window of fertility is fairly small - you are basically
fertile about 4 or 5 days out of the month. *MAYBE* 3 days before
ovulation, the day of, and MAYBE one day after. I think it's something
like that. However, each individual woman is different, and the
conditions for ovulation change from day to day. So *YOU* might only
have a 3 day fertile window, and if you are having sex every 3rd day,
you might miss it. And, you might be MORE fertile one single day of
those 3 days, and having sex with a good sperm count THAT day might
work better.

That said, plenty of people DO get pregnant by having a lot of sex,
even every day. :-)

I charted and figured out when I ovulated, and all that, and used the
kits as a method to check my charting to see if my charting was
accurate. I did it because I really wanted to have a daughter, and you
are hypothecially supposed to be able to influence the sex of the baby
by timing sex a certain way. However, we tried to conceive for 8
months, and after the first six months of not getting pregnant, I quit
worrying about timing for getting one gender or another, and just tried
to get *pregnant*. I ended up having a daughter, despite not trying to
conceive one.

Honestly, unless you are trying to influence the gender, I wouldn't
bother with the ovulation predictor kits until you think there might
actually be a problem. Why not give his method a try for a few months?


Cathy Weeks


Wonderful explanation! Thanks. We saw the dr today as I mentioned in another
post, and he recommended 2 courses of action for me....he said he will do
laparoscopy immediately for me if I want, and clean the endmetriosis up. He
saw the pictures taken with the scope/camera from my first lap a few years
ago and said he didn't know why the doctor who bothered to put me asleep and
make incisions and see that didn't just remove it (I signed a consent
beforehand!). He said he is fully sure he can remove it safely with a laser
and another thing he mentioned (I forget- another technique). He said he can
do this and we can then start TTC, or if we want we can just take 2-4 cycles
to see if don't conceive right away. He said the number of cycles is up to
me, but that if 3 or 4 goes by he recommends that I go ahead and have
laparoscopy to better my chances.

I am opting to TTC and check back in with him in April if I am not pregnant
yet and schedule the surgery to see if my endometriosis has gotten worse--if
I don't conceive soon, at least, I will need treatment for the pain. It is
SO painful...I need narcotics, and I don't *want* to keep needing narcotics
for pain, they make me feel yucky, and it is a quality of life issue to have
s much pelvic pain when I know that a surgery to remove it will relieve the
pain.

So, I'm opting to relax and just TTC for a few months. I'm eager though, I
am looking forward to having a #2 so I am enthusiastic! Yay!
:-) I would love a girl but feel NO reason to try to sway the gender- what
will be, will be. I'm not going to chart so specifically as to time for a
better chance of a certain gender. It's not that big of a deal, and I am way
too lazy.

Actually I think you're meant to have sex every 2-3 days for most likely
conception. If you go for every day then the sperm is more dilute,, or not
as good or something. Yes, you should hit the fertile time even then, but
not necessarily the most fertile time.

For some reason I have 36hrs stuck in my mind as the minimum time for
optimum sperm, which does make it a little easier to hit the fertile window
than if you are working with 3 days. So if you are not entirely sure of your
cycle you might want to do morning, evening, skip a day, repeat for the time
you think is mid cycle. We intended to do this, but got carried away, if
you're having fun, why not, sounds like the bigger factor is the endo and if
that's in a place where it needs surgery, then the amount of difference the
frequency of intercourse may well not be enough to make the difference
between conceiving and not.

Cheers

Anne

Cathy Weeks wrote:
blue wrote:
Ok all, here is a question my husband asked me about TTC that I have no
answer for. I was speechless. I dunno! I told him I was considering trying
out some of those First Response Ovulation test strips that are supposed to
tell you 24-48 hours before you ovulate if you use them at the right time. I
figure it will be good to know for sure when to do it, to ease my worries
about TTC #2 because for some reason I think this next baby is not going to
be as easy as the first. I just have a feeling...

Well, he asked me: "Why would anyone buy those sticks--If you are TTC,
couldn't you just save the money and just have sex every night? Then you
will be sure you "did it" during your fertile time, since you did it every
day"

Because if you have sex every day, the sperm count per sex act is lower
than if you do it every 2-3 days. The reason sperm count is important,
is that even though it only takes one sperm to fertilize the egg, it
takes MANY sperm to break down the outer covering enough that one of
the sperm can get through.

That said, the window of fertility is fairly small - you are basically
fertile about 4 or 5 days out of the month. *MAYBE* 3 days before
ovulation, the day of, and MAYBE one day after. I think it's something
like that. However, each individual woman is different, and the
conditions for ovulation change from day to day. So *YOU* might only
have a 3 day fertile window, and if you are having sex every 3rd day,
you might miss it. And, you might be MORE fertile one single day of
those 3 days, and having sex with a good sperm count THAT day might
work better.

That said, plenty of people DO get pregnant by having a lot of sex,
even every day. :-)

I charted and figured out when I ovulated, and all that, and used the
kits as a method to check my charting to see if my charting was
accurate. I did it because I really wanted to have a daughter, and you
are hypothecially supposed to be able to influence the sex of the baby
by timing sex a certain way. However, we tried to conceive for 8
months, and after the first six months of not getting pregnant, I quit
worrying about timing for getting one gender or another, and just tried
to get *pregnant*. I ended up having a daughter, despite not trying to
conceive one.

Honestly, unless you are trying to influence the gender, I wouldn't
bother with the ovulation predictor kits until you think there might
actually be a problem. Why not give his method a try for a few months?


Cathy Weeks


Just as a side bar. Yes, you *can* do it every day...it's fun if nothing
else, but I suggest that you listen to your body carefully. I find that
at the most fertile times of the month...I'm a raving maniac and want it
whether he does or not. Suspect that it's my body's way of telling me
that today is the best day to get pregnant. Incase anyone thinks this is
hokum...I conceived both of my daughters first time...essentially...I
was feeling (very) randy...we dispenced with the condoms and bingo,
bango, bongo...positive test at the end of the month. I know that this
is the way I feel at certain times of the month and frankly, I cant
trust myself not to have an *accident* so I had a coil fitted to prevent
any further conceptions for a while.

Wookie

On Jan 24, 6:31 am, ChocolateChip_Wookie
"wookie[at]bluelotusblossom[dot]com" wrote:
find that
at the most fertile times of the month...I'm a raving maniac and want it
whether he does or not. Suspect that it's my body's way of telling me
that today is the best day to get pregnant. Incase anyone thinks this is
hokum...

It's not hokum. According to _Taking Charge of Your Fertility_ by Toni
Weschler, most women find that their libido is highest right about the
time of ovulation.

Sorry if the following is too much information but, I've found that I
only enjoy (or can tolerate) certain postions - the ones with deepest
penetration - near ovulation. If I'm not near ovulation, those
positions actually hurt, if we get too, ahem, vigorous. The book I
mentioned above explains that too - the cervix actually changes
position during the month, and is at it's highest position near
ovulation, allowing for deeper penetration, and hence, an easier time
conceiving.

Cathy Weeks

Cathy Weeks wrote:

On Jan 24, 6:31 am, ChocolateChip_Wookie
"wookie[at]bluelotusblossom[dot]com" wrote:
find that
at the most fertile times of the month...I'm a raving maniac and want it
whether he does or not. Suspect that it's my body's way of telling me
that today is the best day to get pregnant. Incase anyone thinks this is
hokum...

It's not hokum. According to _Taking Charge of Your Fertility_ by Toni
Weschler, most women find that their libido is highest right about the
time of ovulation.

Sorry if the following is too much information but, I've found that I
only enjoy (or can tolerate) certain postions - the ones with deepest
penetration - near ovulation. If I'm not near ovulation, those
positions actually hurt, if we get too, ahem, vigorous. The book I
mentioned above explains that too - the cervix actually changes
position during the month, and is at it's highest position near
ovulation, allowing for deeper penetration, and hence, an easier time
conceiving.

Cathy Weeks



Hmmm..makes biological sense. a)Make the female randy when it is the
best time to conceive and b)Make the preferred position the one which
gives the greater penetration and therefore the greatest chance of
conceiving and b2) make all other inferior positions actually painful.
And, no, its not too much information. Biology is what it is....
Incidentally, the Greeks believed that a woman couldn't conceive unless
she had an orgasm and various contemporary texts at the time give
suggestions on positions, including woman bending over and man from
behind (also a famous freeze on a vase) and also information on forplay
in order to make the woman very receptive. Seems like the Victorians
have allot to answer for by making the discussion of sexuality and what
*pleases* all but taboo.

Wookie

On Jan 24, 10:13 am, ChocolateChip_Wookie
"wookie[at]bluelotusblossom[dot]com" wrote:
Cathy Weeks wrote:

conceiving and b2) make all other inferior positions actually painful.

No... slight miscommunication here. It's not that the inferior
positions are painful - quite the opposite. It's that the ones with
deepest penetration are painful when I'm not near ovulation, due to my
cervix being lower when I'm not fertile. Deeper penetration during
fertile times is fine and even desirable (pun intended).

Cathy Weeks