one year check up and now really worried

Hi, again --

It makes baby stop waking from hunger pangs IF AND ONLY IF the hunger is
a habit, not a need. (In other words, don't try this on a very young
baby, who actually NEEDS food in the middle of the night!) It allow
baby to sleep by breaking the immediate association between waking and
food.

Think of it this way. When YOU wake in the morning, do you keep a
bottle of milk by your bed? Or do you shower, dress, get the kids
moving, and then make breakfast (thus delaying food for 30 minutes or
more)? At some point, your own body broke the wake/food association.
Most babies seem to be able to do this by 12 months of age, and the neat
thing is that it's painless. If your baby is distractable -- you can
talk, change the diaper, etc. before eating -- then your baby is capable.

When I said in an earlier post that most babies are capable, I meant
it. MOST babies, not all, can sleep through the night without eating by
12 months. But just because they're capable doesn't mean that we
parents are willing to make them. (I don't make my 9-year old practice
his violin every day, either, even though he's capable.) Sometimes you
decide that the effort, or sacrifice, or whatever, isn't worth it.

But if a parent is exhausted, or a baby seems to be not growing right,
or too tired during the day, then perhaps it IS worth it, and so
realizing your baby is capable becomes very important. (And yes, I DO
make my 9-year old help clean the kitchen after supper every night,
because he's capable AND it's worth my effort to make him help out.)

My own kids were about 10 months when we stopped feeding them on
waking. It was easy on them, and they both started sleeping about 90
minutes longer in the mornings, which *I* appreciated.

My two cents,
--Beth Kevles

http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic
Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical
advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner.

NOTE: No email is read at my MIT address. Use the AOL one if you would
like me to reply.

Thank you everyone! Emily seems happy and healthy to us. We're going
through somewhat of a rough spot right now with lack of sleep, but other
than that, I've been totally thrilled with Emily's development. I really
appreciate all your concern and encouragement.

Betsy

"Irrational Number" wrote in message
hlink.net...
determined wrote:

Emily had her one year checkup today, even though she's 13 months and 2
wks now. We had a delay in getting her in because we were in Germany
when she turned one. Anyways, Emily still only weighs 18 lbs. She
doesn't walk, although she will pull herself into a standing position.

13 months is the mean, the bell curve reaches
18 months at the slow end.

She still wakes up 3-4 times a night. She sleeps in a crib in our room,
but sometimes out of desperation, we'll bring her to bed with us.

Do what works for you, don't listen to other
people who are not in your bedroom.

-- Anita --

On 26 Jan 2007 12:08:26 GMT, (Beth Kevles) wrote:

Think of it this way. When YOU wake in the morning, do you keep a
bottle of milk by your bed? Or do you shower, dress, get the kids
moving, and then make breakfast (thus delaying food for 30 minutes or
more)? At some point, your own body broke the wake/food association.
Most babies seem to be able to do this by 12 months of age, and the neat
thing is that it's painless. If your baby is distractable -- you can
talk, change the diaper, etc. before eating -- then your baby is capable.

I can't speak for anyone else, but I keep a drink by my bed and often
wake up, have a drink, and go back to sleep. I have done for years.
Before that, I used to have to get up and go to the kitchen for a
drink. I don't see why my son should be any different. He didn't sleep
through till he was nearly 2, and he needed no training to do that. He
grew out of the need to have a drink, but prior to that no distraction
would have helped. Even sending OldBloke in didn't help - he wanted
milk, nothing else.
--
Linz
YB: 3 years, 13kg, 88cm, still breastfed.

In article ,
(Beth Kevles) wrote:

It makes baby stop waking from hunger pangs IF AND ONLY IF the hunger is
a habit, not a need.

If a person is getting hunger pangs, they ARE hungry. Hunger pangs aren't a
figure of speech!

(In other words, don't try this on a very young
baby, who actually NEEDS food in the middle of the night!) It allow
baby to sleep by breaking the immediate association between waking and
food.

Think of it this way. When YOU wake in the morning, do you keep a
bottle of milk by your bed? Or do you shower, dress, get the kids
moving, and then make breakfast (thus delaying food for 30 minutes or
more)? At some point, your own body broke the wake/food association.

Wrong person :-) I get up, have a wee, and then have breakfast.

--
Chookie -- Sydney, Australia
(Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply)

"Parenthood is like the modern stone washing process for denim jeans. You may
start out crisp, neat and tough, but you end up pale, limp and wrinkled."
Kerry Cue

On Jan 25, 1:35�pm, "determined" wrote:
Emily had her one year checkup today, even though she's 13 months and 2 wks
now. *We had a delay in getting her in because we were in Germany when she
turned one. *Anyways, Emily still only weighs 18 lbs. *She doesn't walk,
although she will pull herself into a standing position. *She also has no
interest in crawling, and gets around by scooting on our hardwood floors.
Now the doc wants us to see a physical therapist because she should be
walking by now.

He also says she should not be getting more than a couple cups of milk each
day, and the rest should be water. *I guess to me this seems
counterintuitive because she needs extra calories for weight gain...

She still wakes up 3-4 times a night. *She sleeps in a crib in our room, but
sometimes out of desperation, we'll bring her to bed with us. *We do offer a
bottle still at night too, because after 10 minutes of crying, I start to
feel like I'm going to fall apart. *The doc says we have made a big mistake,
and that we have made her more dependant on us. *So I feel like a
bad/ignorant mother. *So now he wants us to move her crib downstairs, since
we do not have another bedroom on the same floor. *And that we should let
her cry in 30 minute intervals, which seems so brutal to me!

I'm mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted. *I'm just really hoping
to hear some advice or some empathy!

Well, if it makes you feel better, I just took my dd for her 1-year
visit, and she's also 13 months. She weighs 17 lbs. 4 oz. Her
pediatrician is fine with that -- she's just a small person and will
probably not be a basketball player. So I wouldn't worry about the
weight at all -- I should think that being *overweight* would be cause
for concern, not being slim, so long as there hasn't been a sudden
weight drop. My daughter also wakes several times a night to nurse.
I'm starting to leave a cup filled with water in her crib, so that she
can drink if she's thirsty and then go back to sleep herself. That
worked well for my older two at around this age, and they still have
cups of water by their beds. Anyway, you've gotten some good advice
from other posters, and I agree that you should find another
pediatrician who isn't such a worrywort.

Bryna

On Jan 25, 12:35 pm, "determined" wrote:
Emily had her one year checkup today, even though she's 13 months and 2 wks
now. We had a delay in getting her in because we were in Germany when she
turned one. Anyways, Emily still only weighs 18 lbs. She doesn't walk,
although she will pull herself into a standing position. She also has no
interest in crawling, and gets around by scooting on our hardwood floors.
Now the doc wants us to see a physical therapist because she should be
walking by now.

This is really bizarre. Babies skip crawling all the time. One of my
brothers walked at 18 months, and the other walked at 10 months. I
walked a couple of weeks after my own first birthday. We are all
pretty normal adults. My understanding is that anything before 18
months is normal. I would call him and leave a message asking if he
has other concerns about her physical development. Sometimes hypotonia
might cause a delay in walking. But if he doesn't suspect any physical
problem, I wouldn't worry about it - he's just being a worry wort.

He also says she should not be getting more than a couple cups of milk each
day, and the rest should be water. I guess to me this seems
counterintuitive because she needs extra calories for weight gain...

I've no experience to offer you here. At one year, my daughter was
still breastfeeding on demand, and was eating solids. I have no idea
how much breastmilk she was getting.

She still wakes up 3-4 times a night. She sleeps in a crib in our room, but
sometimes out of desperation, we'll bring her to bed with us. We do offer a
bottle still at night too, because after 10 minutes of crying, I start to
feel like I'm going to fall apart.

My daughter was still waking about 3 times per night at that age, to
nurse. By 18 months, it had dropped two 2 times (2am and 4am). She
also slept in a sidecar attached to my side of the bed. At around 2
years of age, it dropped to only once per night. At age 3 years, she
started sleeping all night, and that's when she asked to move to her
own bed, where she's been (mostly) ever since.

The doc says we have made a big mistake,
and that we have made her more dependant on us.

This is a load of BS. It sounds like he's an older sort, because
that's the sort of stuff I heard out of my parents. She'll be happy
to move to her own room when she's ready.

So I feel like a
bad/ignorant mother. So now he wants us to move her crib downstairs, since
we do not have another bedroom on the same floor. And that we should let
her cry in 30 minute intervals, which seems so brutal to me!

Unless you think there are serious sleep problems, I really, really
don't agree with this. There is research that shows a link between
crying to sleep as a baby and sleep and other health problems later.

I also have to question the advice to put a young child on a different
floor. That's just crazy talk. A baby monitor might solve the
problem, but I wouldn't have been comfortable with my daughter on a
different floor from me! I still wouldn't and she's 5 years old.

I'd either find yourself a different pediatrician, or cheerfully
ignore parenting advice from him, and only go to him for medical.

Cathy Weeks

On Jan 30, 4:08 pm, "Cathy Weeks" wrote:
On Jan 25, 12:35 pm, "determined" wrote:

Emily had her one year checkup today, even though she's 13 months and 2 wks
now. We had a delay in getting her in because we were in Germany when she
turned one. Anyways, Emily still only weighs 18 lbs. She doesn't walk,
although she will pull herself into a standing position. She also has no
interest in crawling, and gets around by scooting on our hardwood floors.
Now the doc wants us to see a physical therapist because she should be
walking by now.

This is really bizarre. Babies skip crawling all the time. One of my
brothers walked at 18 months, and the other walked at 10 months. I
walked a couple of weeks after my own first birthday. We are all
pretty normal adults. My understanding is that anything before 18
months is normal. I would call him and leave a message asking if he
has other concerns about her physical development. Sometimes hypotonia
might cause a delay in walking. But if he doesn't suspect any physical
problem, I wouldn't worry about it - he's just being a worry wort.

He also says she should not be getting more than a couple cups of milk each
day, and the rest should be water. I guess to me this seems
counterintuitive because she needs extra calories for weight gain...

I've no experience to offer you here. At one year, my daughter was
still breastfeeding on demand, and was eating solids. I have no idea
how much breastmilk she was getting.

She still wakes up 3-4 times a night. She sleeps in a crib in our room, but
sometimes out of desperation, we'll bring her to bed with us. We do offer a
bottle still at night too, because after 10 minutes of crying, I start to
feel like I'm going to fall apart.

My daughter was still waking about 3 times per night at that age, to
nurse. By 18 months, it had dropped two 2 times (2am and 4am). She
also slept in a sidecar attached to my side of the bed. At around 2
years of age, it dropped to only once per night. At age 3 years, she
started sleeping all night, and that's when she asked to move to her
own bed, where she's been (mostly) ever since.

The doc says we have made a big mistake,
and that we have made her more dependant on us.

This is a load of BS. It sounds like he's an older sort, because
that's the sort of stuff I heard out of my parents. She'll be happy
to move to her own room when she's ready.

So I feel like a
bad/ignorant mother. So now he wants us to move her crib downstairs, since
we do not have another bedroom on the same floor. And that we should let
her cry in 30 minute intervals, which seems so brutal to me!

Unless you think there are serious sleep problems, I really, really
don't agree with this. There is research that shows a link between
crying to sleep as a baby and sleep and other health problems later.

I also have to question the advice to put a young child on a different
floor. That's just crazy talk. A baby monitor might solve the
problem, but I wouldn't have been comfortable with my daughter on a
different floor from me! I still wouldn't and she's 5 years old.


Not to mention what a bloody PITA it would be to have to go to another
floor when she wakes in the middle of the night. I don't even like
having to go to another room! Wait...I don't even like going to the
crib in our room. I'm lazy.

Thank you to everyone for your advice and encouragement!