in dire need if advice

Hi guys!
I mostly just lurk here and suck in as much advise I can get, but I really
need some now and was wondering if anyone can offer any. I have twin boys
who will be 3 in December. They have always been "pretty good" kids until
they hit about 2 1/2. They switched from cribs to beds and it has been
downhill from there. They have bunk beds and my one son will constantly rip
down his curtain. I can't even tell you how many mini blinds I went
through. My other son ripped the thermostat off the wall and cranked his
heat up to 90. They flatly refuse to nap anymore, and I don't even bother
trying, because it just means more work for me. They also rip the sheets
off the bed, matresspad and all. I love being a SAHM, but I'm really at my
wits end. I'm hoping that this is just a phase, but how long will it last??
I do have another infant son who requires a lot of attention, but when he is
sleeping, I devote all my time to the twins. Can anyone out there offer me
advise before I go crazy????

Thanks!
Sue
mom to Austin and Noah 12-29-00
Collin 2-13-03

Subject: in dire need if advice
From: "sue"
Date: Tue, Sep 30, 2003 7:06 PM
Message-id: .net

Hi guys!
I mostly just lurk here and suck in as much advise I can get, but I really
need some now and was wondering if anyone can offer any. I have twin boys
who will be 3 in December. They have always been "pretty good" kids until
they hit about 2 1/2. They switched from cribs to beds and it has been
downhill from there. They have bunk beds and my one son will constantly
rip
down his curtain. I can't even tell you how many mini blinds I went
through. My other son ripped the thermostat off the wall and cranked his
heat up to 90. They flatly refuse to nap anymore, and I don't even bother
trying, because it just means more work for me. They also rip the sheets
off the bed, matresspad and all. I love being a SAHM, but I'm really at
my
wits end. I'm hoping that this is just a phase, but how long will it last??
I do have another infant son who requires a lot of attention, but when he
is
sleeping, I devote all my time to the twins. Can anyone out there offer
me
advise before I go crazy????

Are they reaching the curtains and thermostat because of the bunk bed? My
first thought would be to take it down and store it in the garage or basement
until they are older and just have them sleep on mattresses on the floor. Or
maybe move the bunk bed against a wall where there is nothing they can get
into. (Although I must echo the other poster's comments about kids that young
sleeping on a top bunk.) Don't they make some sort of clips to keep sheets on
a bed? Or have you tried those already and they pull them off anyway?

My daughters are 3 (and almost 3 months) and have been phasing out their nap
over the course of nearly a year now. Hopefully by not taking a nap your boys
are going to bed earlier.

I can't help you with the baby issue though. Two kept me *plenty* busy enough
without wanting a third! I am sure that their behavior is also a reaction to
having a new sibling to compete with for your time. But there really isn't much
you can do about that but ride out this phase.

Lori

Subject: in dire need if advice
From: "sue"
Date: Tue, Sep 30, 2003 7:06 PM
Message-id: .net

Hi guys!
I mostly just lurk here and suck in as much advise I can get, but I really
need some now and was wondering if anyone can offer any. I have twin boys
who will be 3 in December. They have always been "pretty good" kids until
they hit about 2 1/2. They switched from cribs to beds and it has been
downhill from there. They have bunk beds and my one son will constantly
rip
down his curtain. I can't even tell you how many mini blinds I went
through. My other son ripped the thermostat off the wall and cranked his
heat up to 90. They flatly refuse to nap anymore, and I don't even bother
trying, because it just means more work for me. They also rip the sheets
off the bed, matresspad and all. I love being a SAHM, but I'm really at
my
wits end. I'm hoping that this is just a phase, but how long will it last??
I do have another infant son who requires a lot of attention, but when he
is
sleeping, I devote all my time to the twins. Can anyone out there offer
me
advise before I go crazy????

Are they reaching the curtains and thermostat because of the bunk bed? My
first thought would be to take it down and store it in the garage or basement
until they are older and just have them sleep on mattresses on the floor. Or
maybe move the bunk bed against a wall where there is nothing they can get
into. (Although I must echo the other poster's comments about kids that young
sleeping on a top bunk.) Don't they make some sort of clips to keep sheets on
a bed? Or have you tried those already and they pull them off anyway?

My daughters are 3 (and almost 3 months) and have been phasing out their nap
over the course of nearly a year now. Hopefully by not taking a nap your boys
are going to bed earlier.

I can't help you with the baby issue though. Two kept me *plenty* busy enough
without wanting a third! I am sure that their behavior is also a reaction to
having a new sibling to compete with for your time. But there really isn't much
you can do about that but ride out this phase.

Lori

I agree with the others to move or REMOVE the (dangerous) bunk beds and use
just mattresses or split the beds in two and only allow them the bottom bit
or whatever it takes to reduce their reach. Remove anything from the
bedrooms that they mess with or wreck. Duct tape the thermostat if
necessary. Find another way to cover the windows (we TIGHTLY staple gunned
blackout over the windows til they were 5+ since they all shared one bedroom
and did not need / did not have room to play in there).

On the unmaking beds -- what I did (mine were a bit older perhaps but not as
old as 4, so probably 3+) was explain to them very nicely that if they tore
the beds apart I would not make them again until the cleaning lady came to
change them. AND I STUCK TO IT. End of story. One week or so of sleeping
on a bare plastic mattress was enough and after months of driving me mad
none of them ever did it again. These were toddler beds -- for a "real"
mattress I'd buy a zip-on waterproof mattress cover first so no grime would
rub off from dirty feet etc.

Naps -- there comes a moment when the fight is not worth it and you sound
like you just pulled up at that door. They will need to go to bed 30-45
minutes earlier and you can institute "quiet time" -- a movie in the family
room with popcorn to bribe them to stay seated was how one friend of mine
handled it. Anyone who got up went to their room instead.

Or they can be in their room(s) with books / toys / whatever but can't come
out. For some people this works really well for a long time -- it did for
mine for just a short time provided they were in separate rooms. Even a
month is a good purchase.

At around age 3, when our naps first completely ended, I had to gate mine
into the (upstairs) playroom with a video to obtain "quiet" for myself --
and it still takes practice even if you don't have to "seal" the door
because they *will* think of reasons why your presence is necessary. The
thing to remember is that whatever you have to go in for (break up a fight,
staunch the blood, put in a new video ..... etc) you can be brief and basic
and not stay more than a minimum time. Give them no "reward" so they get
bored of "needing" you.

Another thing I did weather permitting was put them out in our fenced
backyard, tell them I would be back in x minutes (5, .... 15 .... 30) and
then *lock* the back door. I could easily see them from inside and after a
couple of days they worked out that rattling the door was pointless. There
was plenty to do (trikes, cars, water table in season, climbing, balls, dogs
to torture, flowers to shred, trees to bash, .....) so that worked quite
well. When the time was up I took out a snack, or played with them for a
few minutes, then left them alone again for another x minutes.





"sue" wrote in message
link.net...
Hi guys!
I mostly just lurk here and suck in as much advise I can get, but I really
need some now and was wondering if anyone can offer any. I have twin boys
who will be 3 in December. They have always been "pretty good" kids until
they hit about 2 1/2. They switched from cribs to beds and it has been
downhill from there. They have bunk beds and my one son will constantly
rip
down his curtain. I can't even tell you how many mini blinds I went
through. My other son ripped the thermostat off the wall and cranked his
heat up to 90. They flatly refuse to nap anymore, and I don't even bother
trying, because it just means more work for me. They also rip the sheets
off the bed, matresspad and all. I love being a SAHM, but I'm really at
my
wits end. I'm hoping that this is just a phase, but how long will it
last??
I do have another infant son who requires a lot of attention, but when he
is
sleeping, I devote all my time to the twins. Can anyone out there offer
me
advise before I go crazy????

Thanks!
Sue
mom to Austin and Noah 12-29-00
Collin 2-13-03

I agree with the others to move or REMOVE the (dangerous) bunk beds and use
just mattresses or split the beds in two and only allow them the bottom bit
or whatever it takes to reduce their reach. Remove anything from the
bedrooms that they mess with or wreck. Duct tape the thermostat if
necessary. Find another way to cover the windows (we TIGHTLY staple gunned
blackout over the windows til they were 5+ since they all shared one bedroom
and did not need / did not have room to play in there).

On the unmaking beds -- what I did (mine were a bit older perhaps but not as
old as 4, so probably 3+) was explain to them very nicely that if they tore
the beds apart I would not make them again until the cleaning lady came to
change them. AND I STUCK TO IT. End of story. One week or so of sleeping
on a bare plastic mattress was enough and after months of driving me mad
none of them ever did it again. These were toddler beds -- for a "real"
mattress I'd buy a zip-on waterproof mattress cover first so no grime would
rub off from dirty feet etc.

Naps -- there comes a moment when the fight is not worth it and you sound
like you just pulled up at that door. They will need to go to bed 30-45
minutes earlier and you can institute "quiet time" -- a movie in the family
room with popcorn to bribe them to stay seated was how one friend of mine
handled it. Anyone who got up went to their room instead.

Or they can be in their room(s) with books / toys / whatever but can't come
out. For some people this works really well for a long time -- it did for
mine for just a short time provided they were in separate rooms. Even a
month is a good purchase.

At around age 3, when our naps first completely ended, I had to gate mine
into the (upstairs) playroom with a video to obtain "quiet" for myself --
and it still takes practice even if you don't have to "seal" the door
because they *will* think of reasons why your presence is necessary. The
thing to remember is that whatever you have to go in for (break up a fight,
staunch the blood, put in a new video ..... etc) you can be brief and basic
and not stay more than a minimum time. Give them no "reward" so they get
bored of "needing" you.

Another thing I did weather permitting was put them out in our fenced
backyard, tell them I would be back in x minutes (5, .... 15 .... 30) and
then *lock* the back door. I could easily see them from inside and after a
couple of days they worked out that rattling the door was pointless. There
was plenty to do (trikes, cars, water table in season, climbing, balls, dogs
to torture, flowers to shred, trees to bash, .....) so that worked quite
well. When the time was up I took out a snack, or played with them for a
few minutes, then left them alone again for another x minutes.





"sue" wrote in message
link.net...
Hi guys!
I mostly just lurk here and suck in as much advise I can get, but I really
need some now and was wondering if anyone can offer any. I have twin boys
who will be 3 in December. They have always been "pretty good" kids until
they hit about 2 1/2. They switched from cribs to beds and it has been
downhill from there. They have bunk beds and my one son will constantly
rip
down his curtain. I can't even tell you how many mini blinds I went
through. My other son ripped the thermostat off the wall and cranked his
heat up to 90. They flatly refuse to nap anymore, and I don't even bother
trying, because it just means more work for me. They also rip the sheets
off the bed, matresspad and all. I love being a SAHM, but I'm really at
my
wits end. I'm hoping that this is just a phase, but how long will it
last??
I do have another infant son who requires a lot of attention, but when he
is
sleeping, I devote all my time to the twins. Can anyone out there offer
me
advise before I go crazy????

Thanks!
Sue
mom to Austin and Noah 12-29-00
Collin 2-13-03

Thanks everyone for your advise. My kids do havew both beds on the
floor(guess I should have said that before). They just do all of this by
standing on their beds. I tried to tape the thermostat, but they just took
the tape off. My husband suggested last night that we go and buy a
thermostat lock box like offices have. Their beds are away firm these
objects, but they just empty their drawers and pile the clothes up until
they can reach. I'm going to try some of your good ideas and hope that it
helps a bit. Thanks for taking the time to answer!

Sue
mom to Austin and Noah 12-29-00
Collin 2-13-03
"sue" wrote in message
link.net...
Hi guys!
I mostly just lurk here and suck in as much advise I can get, but I really
need some now and was wondering if anyone can offer any. I have twin boys
who will be 3 in December. They have always been "pretty good" kids until
they hit about 2 1/2. They switched from cribs to beds and it has been
downhill from there. They have bunk beds and my one son will constantly
rip
down his curtain. I can't even tell you how many mini blinds I went
through. My other son ripped the thermostat off the wall and cranked his
heat up to 90. They flatly refuse to nap anymore, and I don't even bother
trying, because it just means more work for me. They also rip the sheets
off the bed, matresspad and all. I love being a SAHM, but I'm really at
my
wits end. I'm hoping that this is just a phase, but how long will it
last??
I do have another infant son who requires a lot of attention, but when he
is
sleeping, I devote all my time to the twins. Can anyone out there offer
me
advise before I go crazy????

Thanks!
Sue
mom to Austin and Noah 12-29-00
Collin 2-13-03

Thanks everyone for your advise. My kids do havew both beds on the
floor(guess I should have said that before). They just do all of this by
standing on their beds. I tried to tape the thermostat, but they just took
the tape off. My husband suggested last night that we go and buy a
thermostat lock box like offices have. Their beds are away firm these
objects, but they just empty their drawers and pile the clothes up until
they can reach. I'm going to try some of your good ideas and hope that it
helps a bit. Thanks for taking the time to answer!

Sue
mom to Austin and Noah 12-29-00
Collin 2-13-03
"sue" wrote in message
link.net...
Hi guys!
I mostly just lurk here and suck in as much advise I can get, but I really
need some now and was wondering if anyone can offer any. I have twin boys
who will be 3 in December. They have always been "pretty good" kids until
they hit about 2 1/2. They switched from cribs to beds and it has been
downhill from there. They have bunk beds and my one son will constantly
rip
down his curtain. I can't even tell you how many mini blinds I went
through. My other son ripped the thermostat off the wall and cranked his
heat up to 90. They flatly refuse to nap anymore, and I don't even bother
trying, because it just means more work for me. They also rip the sheets
off the bed, matresspad and all. I love being a SAHM, but I'm really at
my
wits end. I'm hoping that this is just a phase, but how long will it
last??
I do have another infant son who requires a lot of attention, but when he
is
sleeping, I devote all my time to the twins. Can anyone out there offer
me
advise before I go crazy????

Thanks!
Sue
mom to Austin and Noah 12-29-00
Collin 2-13-03

I remember that time (even though the kids are 8y9m), we emptied out the
room. I put the dresser sideways in the closet and locked the door with a
key, I removed everything that they could climb, throw or move. Mattresses
on the floor, and if they took off the bedding, so what, it was simple so I
didn't care. I agree with hubby about a lock on the thermostat too. My
twins got into so much mischief at that age I would meet my DH at the door
in tears. I can say it settled down, I also found out that the more I took
them out to get rid of the energy, running, playgrounds, back yard,
anything. The more energy they have pent up the more they seek and distort
(at least we found). I know with a new baby it's tough but maybe a high
school friend can take them to run the park or watch them outside.

Good luck and we've all been there.

Shirley
mom to Chris and Kathleen
"sue" wrote in message
k.net...
Thanks everyone for your advise. My kids do havew both beds on the
floor(guess I should have said that before). They just do all of this by
standing on their beds. I tried to tape the thermostat, but they just
took
the tape off. My husband suggested last night that we go and buy a
thermostat lock box like offices have. Their beds are away firm these
objects, but they just empty their drawers and pile the clothes up until
they can reach. I'm going to try some of your good ideas and hope that it
helps a bit. Thanks for taking the time to answer!

Sue
mom to Austin and Noah 12-29-00
Collin 2-13-03
"sue" wrote in message
link.net...
Hi guys!
I mostly just lurk here and suck in as much advise I can get, but I
really
need some now and was wondering if anyone can offer any. I have twin
boys
who will be 3 in December. They have always been "pretty good" kids
until
they hit about 2 1/2. They switched from cribs to beds and it has been
downhill from there. They have bunk beds and my one son will constantly
rip
down his curtain. I can't even tell you how many mini blinds I went
through. My other son ripped the thermostat off the wall and cranked
his
heat up to 90. They flatly refuse to nap anymore, and I don't even
bother
trying, because it just means more work for me. They also rip the
sheets
off the bed, matresspad and all. I love being a SAHM, but I'm really at
my
wits end. I'm hoping that this is just a phase, but how long will it
last??
I do have another infant son who requires a lot of attention, but when
he
is
sleeping, I devote all my time to the twins. Can anyone out there offer
me
advise before I go crazy????

Thanks!
Sue
mom to Austin and Noah 12-29-00
Collin 2-13-03

I remember that time (even though the kids are 8y9m), we emptied out the
room. I put the dresser sideways in the closet and locked the door with a
key, I removed everything that they could climb, throw or move. Mattresses
on the floor, and if they took off the bedding, so what, it was simple so I
didn't care. I agree with hubby about a lock on the thermostat too. My
twins got into so much mischief at that age I would meet my DH at the door
in tears. I can say it settled down, I also found out that the more I took
them out to get rid of the energy, running, playgrounds, back yard,
anything. The more energy they have pent up the more they seek and distort
(at least we found). I know with a new baby it's tough but maybe a high
school friend can take them to run the park or watch them outside.

Good luck and we've all been there.

Shirley
mom to Chris and Kathleen
"sue" wrote in message
k.net...
Thanks everyone for your advise. My kids do havew both beds on the
floor(guess I should have said that before). They just do all of this by
standing on their beds. I tried to tape the thermostat, but they just
took
the tape off. My husband suggested last night that we go and buy a
thermostat lock box like offices have. Their beds are away firm these
objects, but they just empty their drawers and pile the clothes up until
they can reach. I'm going to try some of your good ideas and hope that it
helps a bit. Thanks for taking the time to answer!

Sue
mom to Austin and Noah 12-29-00
Collin 2-13-03
"sue" wrote in message
link.net...
Hi guys!
I mostly just lurk here and suck in as much advise I can get, but I
really
need some now and was wondering if anyone can offer any. I have twin
boys
who will be 3 in December. They have always been "pretty good" kids
until
they hit about 2 1/2. They switched from cribs to beds and it has been
downhill from there. They have bunk beds and my one son will constantly
rip
down his curtain. I can't even tell you how many mini blinds I went
through. My other son ripped the thermostat off the wall and cranked
his
heat up to 90. They flatly refuse to nap anymore, and I don't even
bother
trying, because it just means more work for me. They also rip the
sheets
off the bed, matresspad and all. I love being a SAHM, but I'm really at
my
wits end. I'm hoping that this is just a phase, but how long will it
last??
I do have another infant son who requires a lot of attention, but when
he
is
sleeping, I devote all my time to the twins. Can anyone out there offer
me
advise before I go crazy????

Thanks!
Sue
mom to Austin and Noah 12-29-00
Collin 2-13-03

"sue" wrote in message
k.net...
Thanks everyone for your advise. My kids do havew both beds on the
floor(guess I should have said that before). They just do all of this
by
standing on their beds. I tried to tape the thermostat, but they just
took
the tape off. My husband suggested last night that we go and buy a
thermostat lock box like offices have. Their beds are away firm these
objects, but they just empty their drawers and pile the clothes up until
they can reach. I'm going to try some of your good ideas and hope that
it
helps a bit. Thanks for taking the time to answer!

Sue
mom to Austin and Noah 12-29-00
Collin 2-13-03
"sue" wrote in message
link.net...
Hi guys!
I mostly just lurk here and suck in as much advise I can get, but I
really
need some now and was wondering if anyone can offer any. I have twin
boys
who will be 3 in December. They have always been "pretty good" kids
until
they hit about 2 1/2. They switched from cribs to beds and it has
been
downhill from there. They have bunk beds and my one son will
constantly
rip
down his curtain. I can't even tell you how many mini blinds I went
through. My other son ripped the thermostat off the wall and cranked
his
heat up to 90. They flatly refuse to nap anymore, and I don't even
bother
trying, because it just means more work for me. They also rip the
sheets
off the bed, matresspad and all. I love being a SAHM, but I'm really
at
my
wits end. I'm hoping that this is just a phase, but how long will it
last??
I do have another infant son who requires a lot of attention, but when
he
is
sleeping, I devote all my time to the twins. Can anyone out there
offer
me
advise before I go crazy????

Thanks!
Sue
mom to Austin and Noah 12-29-00
Collin 2-13-03

Hi! My girls did the same kinds of things at that age. The sheet thing
particularly was something that happened alot until my Mom (bless her!)
bought them fancy sheets and comforters with the stipulation that if they
didn't stay on the bed, they didn't get to keep them. So if the girls tore
up their beds...their pretty princess "big-girl" sheets got put away for
awhile. After the initial battle the first time the sheets got taken away,
this got MUCH easier. Just something that worked for us....good luck to
you.

Kim
Chelsea and Courtney (12/27/90)