The Real right to abandon your child, or not

To make a long story short and not get into the ongoing debate, I would
like to offer my story for some of you whom may have different opinions
and let you decide where the battle really lies.

I am now 46, I am a proud father of three, of one a 14 year old son
that still lives at home that I have raised by myself since he was 2
years old... By myself, no help, never asked for any, and never got
any.
You might think that that makes me biased but in truth, it is just the
opposite. I also have two other children. One of witch is an adult at
29 and has her own children.
The other is the cause for my post tonight.
He is now 16 and lives on the west coast (US)...
At the time of his conception I was 28. I was doing well in my career
and was single and lived with a roommate. We shared a very nice home
and bills, drove nice cars, and had money to spend. Our house was the
gathering place on the weekends. We did party...Alot...
Every weekend was a housefull of people untill the wee hours...
One Sunday evening my roommate an I came home from a lake outing to
find this girl sitting on our front pourch. She had suitcases with her,
I thought, "this has to be bad"...
I was right, she was pregnant. And she says its mine. We had numerous
discussions about my willingness to pay for an abortion and possibly
adoption but she stood fast that it was against her religion.

She tells me that she is from a Jahova's Witness Family and that she
told her parents that she was pregnant and they "DISASSOCIATED" her
because it was against thier beliefs.
Ok... Well here I am, My neighbor girl sitting on my doorstep, pregnant
and nowhere to live. I called the cops!!!
That did not have any effect at all, they talked with her parents and
afterwards that told me that they had the right to refuse thier
daughter because she was of age...
So... It all boils down to that fact that I was a good man and took her
in. I am the only one that stood beside her during the entire
pregnancy. I supported her fully, no questions asked.
Until her mother decided to divorce her father, then all of the sudden
the religion was of no matter. Her mother, the one that would not even
go to the hospital while her oldest child was giving birth to her first
child, was all mighty. It cost me, and still is.


I am disabled and have been for 8 years, I collect SS Disability, not
SSI...

Both of my children that are under the age of 18 also receive monthly
checks from my earnings.

Several years ago The state he lives in started garnishing my disablity
income for the amount of $200 per month. No prob, I just had to lower
my standards and get used to living on $500 a month and not $700 a
month. Now today I got a letter from SS stating that they are going to
garnish me for a total of $400 per month. THat is way over 50% of my
total income, and I still have a child that I am trying to raise.
Think about this before you slam me...
My Monthly income is less than $700
It could be $900 without child support
It will be less than $500 next month

I now have to move my son out of the substandard home that we live in
and into what?
A crime ridden motel, one bedroom gang infested??
Look there are those of us that care about our children, I love mine...
BUT, how do I take away from just to make shure the other is better?

Okay I read your little story.. but my question starts right back the
start of the whole pregancy... Your neighbors Daughter was how old
when she became prego... From the sounds of it she was 16 or 17...

And well if thats the case... and you were 28 at the time... well I
wouldn't be going around trying to make yourself sound like a Saint
here... Wouldn't what you of done actually be Statutory rape?

And being a single father commendable... but you make it sound like
we should give you extra praise, that because you are one, maybe this
shouldn't apply to you.. I to am a Single Father of a Special Needs
child. 0 help from my ex, who has decided that traveling the world
with her B/F's is more important then her child. However I don't take
any special credit for it... He is my responsibilty, end of story...
In my case however I did some simple life planning I am 28 myself right
now as a matter of fact. And well he is my only Son. And we live a
pretty comfortable life as a result.

Okay and your math at the end of the statement doesn't make sense...
You have 700 per month total income... but without CS you make 900? How
can you make more without CS then with CS... I'm hoping that was
simply a mistype on your part.

And well I do feel bad for you and your Son... I mean I know some
people are taken advantage of by the system... But you seem to have no
problems in making kids with different women...

To me I would be using your story as an example of what not to do
folks... I have to say your then one who decided to produce 3 kids
with 3 seperate women starting at the age of 17... So your the one who
has pay the consequences....

At 28... raising one on your own, and had another one you were paying
for... I would of been careful as to who I had sex with. Especially
not a teenager...

SpiderHam77

"SpiderHam77" wrote in message
oups.com...
Okay I read your little story..

Whose story? It is difficult to know since you removed all traces of the
post you were answering.
Perhaps if you had quoted the other post I could see that we read different
posts.

but my question starts right back the
start of the whole pregancy... Your neighbors Daughter was how old
when she became prego... From the sounds of it she was 16 or 17...

And well if thats the case... and you were 28 at the time... well I
wouldn't be going around trying to make yourself sound like a Saint
here... Wouldn't what you of done actually be Statutory rape?

"(The cops) talked with her parents and afterwards that told me that they
had the right to refuse thier daughter because she was of age...", meaning
she was at least 18.


And being a single father commendable... but you make it sound like
we should give you extra praise, that because you are one, maybe this
shouldn't apply to you.. I to am a Single Father of a Special Needs
child. 0 help from my ex, who has decided that traveling the world
with her B/F's is more important then her child. However I don't take
any special credit for it... He is my responsibilty, end of story...
In my case however I did some simple life planning I am 28 myself right
now as a matter of fact. And well he is my only Son. And we live a
pretty comfortable life as a result.

Okay and your math at the end of the statement doesn't make sense...
You have 700 per month total income... but without CS you make 900? How
can you make more without CS then with CS... I'm hoping that was
simply a mistype on your part.

Again failing to comprehend. He is ordered to *pay* C$, not receive it.

"Several years ago The state he lives in started garnishing my disablity
income for the amount of $200 per month. No prob, I just had to lower
my standards and get used to living on $500 a month and not $700 a
month. Now today I got a letter from SS stating that they are going to
garnish me for a total of $400 per month. "


And well I do feel bad for you and your Son... I mean I know some
people are taken advantage of by the system... But you seem to have no
problems in making kids with different women...

and....?
Was that your total thought on the matter?


To me I would be using your story as an example of what not to do
folks... I have to say your then one who decided to produce 3 kids
with 3 seperate women starting at the age of 17... So your the one who
has pay the consequences....

Ok, maybe it's *my* comprehension that is missing. I read about 3 children
but I didn't see how many mothers were involved. I gathered that there were
at least two but did I miss something you caught?


At 28... raising one on your own, and had another one you were paying
for... I would of been careful as to who I had sex with. Especially
not a teenager...

Ok, where did you get "teenager"? I didn't see the age of any of these
mothers posted anywhere.

Phil #3


SpiderHam77

Isn't there something in 15 U.S.C. section 1673 Restriction on
garnishment? Look below:

(b)(2) The maximum part of the aggregate disposable earnings of an
individual for any workweek which is subject to garnishment to enforce
any order for the support of any person shall not exceed -

(A) where such individual is supporting his spouse or dependent child
(other than a spouse or child with respect to whose support such order
is used), 50 per centum of such individual's disposable earnings for
that week; and

(B) where such individual is not supporting such a spouse or dependent
child described in clause (A), 60 per centum of such individual's
disposable earnings for that week; except that, with respect to the
disposable earnings of any individual for any workweek, the 50 per
centum specified in clause (A) shall be deemed to be 55 per centum and
the 60 per centum specified in clause (B) shall be deemed to be 65 per
centum, if and to the extent that such earnings are subject to
garnishment to enforce a support order with respect to a period which
is prior to the twelve-week period which ends with the beginning of
such workweek.

(c) No court of the United States or any State, and no State (or
officer or agency thereof), may make, execute, or enforce any order or
process in violation of this section.

Phil #3 wrote:
Whose story? It is difficult to know since you removed all traces of the
post you were answering.
Perhaps if you had quoted the other post I could see that we read different
posts.

Well considering I was the first person to actually respond..
Directly after the originator of the thread... I assumed it would of
been obvious what story I was refering to. I apologize next time I
will be more specific.

"(The cops) talked with her parents and afterwards that told me that they
had the right to refuse thier daughter because she was of age...", meaning
she was at least 18.

Not nessacarily... She was of age... thats all it said. In some
states I'm led to believe you can ask your children to leave at the age
of 16 sometimes... But they become a ward of state... Be interesting
to hear the age of the girl.

To me though I was assuming teenager for the mere fact that she ended
up on the door step of this guy's house, suitcase in hand. I'm not
sure about where your from... but at 18 most people usually have the
resources to stay with a freind for a few days until things are figured
out. Showing up on the doorstep the guy who got your prego suitcase in
hand, because you have no where else to go, sounds like a very Teenager
Girl type thing to do.


Okay and your math at the end of the statement doesn't make sense...
You have 700 per month total income... but without CS you make 900? How
can you make more without CS then with CS... I'm hoping that was
simply a mistype on your part.

Again failing to comprehend. He is ordered to *pay* C$, not receive it.

Not failing to comprehend anything. I reread it.. was simply the way
it was typed.. I read it wrong my mistake.

To me I would be using your story as an example of what not to do
folks... I have to say your then one who decided to produce 3 kids
with 3 seperate women starting at the age of 17... So your the one who
has pay the consequences....

Ok, maybe it's *my* comprehension that is missing. I read about 3 children
but I didn't see how many mothers were involved. I gathered that there were
at least two but did I miss something you caught?

Well 1 child lives with him... 2 others that don't. I can't really
see a mother giving up custody of one child but not the other. To me
that doesn't make alot of sense... So I made a calculated assumption
and assumed that there 3 different mothers. As that would be the most
logical course for gaining custody of 1 child, and not at least 2.

Also his 16yr old lives on the west coast, presumably with his
mother. So I would assume that the mother did not have 2 children with
him...

And his Daughter is 29... thats a 15yr gap between having a child
with first woman... and then having a child again with her.. while
having a child in between.. again I made an assumption that was
unlikely...

My assumptions could be wrong.. but I working off common sense
thinking here.

Ok, where did you get "teenager"? I didn't see the age of any of these
mothers posted anywhere.

My mistake... I must of read a few things wrong... ideas were a
little jumbled together in there.. After re-reading it appears he had
one child when he was 28, who I'm guessing was living with her Mom...
And had the 2nd child when he was 28.. My mistake I got a little mixed
up in the time line..

However according to the ages he posted he was only 17 at the time
the first child was born.. And if his son who is living with him is
only 14... he must of been 32 at the time he was born. Thats simple
math.

None of the ages of the mom's were posted but again if he was 17 at
the time the first child was born.. I think it would be a safe
assumption that she was teenager as well. either the same age.. or
slightly younger.

SpiderHam77

R wrote:
Isn't there something in 15 U.S.C. section 1673 Restriction on
garnishment? Look below:

(b)(2) The maximum part of the aggregate disposable earnings of an
individual for any workweek which is subject to garnishment to enforce
any order for the support of any person shall not exceed -

(A) where such individual is supporting his spouse or dependent child
(other than a spouse or child with respect to whose support such order
is used), 50 per centum of such individual's disposable earnings for
that week; and

(B) where such individual is not supporting such a spouse or dependent
child described in clause (A), 60 per centum of such individual's
disposable earnings for that week; except that, with respect to the
disposable earnings of any individual for any workweek, the 50 per
centum specified in clause (A) shall be deemed to be 55 per centum and
the 60 per centum specified in clause (B) shall be deemed to be 65 per
centum, if and to the extent that such earnings are subject to
garnishment to enforce a support order with respect to a period which
is prior to the twelve-week period which ends with the beginning of
such workweek.

(c) No court of the United States or any State, and no State (or
officer or agency thereof), may make, execute, or enforce any order or
process in violation of this section.

So essentially the most he should be paying is 40% of his income as
he is raising a dependant child on his own..

SpiderHam77

"SpiderHam77" wrote in message
oups.com...
R wrote:
Isn't there something in 15 U.S.C. section 1673 Restriction on
garnishment? Look below:

(b)(2) The maximum part of the aggregate disposable earnings of an
individual for any workweek which is subject to garnishment to enforce
any order for the support of any person shall not exceed -

(A) where such individual is supporting his spouse or dependent child
(other than a spouse or child with respect to whose support such order
is used), 50 per centum of such individual's disposable earnings for
that week; and

(B) where such individual is not supporting such a spouse or dependent
child described in clause (A), 60 per centum of such individual's
disposable earnings for that week; except that, with respect to the
disposable earnings of any individual for any workweek, the 50 per
centum specified in clause (A) shall be deemed to be 55 per centum and
the 60 per centum specified in clause (B) shall be deemed to be 65 per
centum, if and to the extent that such earnings are subject to
garnishment to enforce a support order with respect to a period which
is prior to the twelve-week period which ends with the beginning of
such workweek.

(c) No court of the United States or any State, and no State (or
officer or agency thereof), may make, execute, or enforce any order or
process in violation of this section.

So essentially the most he should be paying is 40% of his income as
he is raising a dependant child on his own..

The withholding laws have nothing to do with how much an NCP is required to
pay. Withholding laws limit the amount that can be taken through a
garnishment action. A court will still hold an NCP in contempt if they fail
to make up the difference between the withholding limits and the court
ordered CS amount.

"SpiderHam77" wrote in message
oups.com...

Phil #3 wrote:
Whose story? It is difficult to know since you removed all traces of the
post you were answering.
Perhaps if you had quoted the other post I could see that we read
different
posts.

Well considering I was the first person to actually respond..
Directly after the originator of the thread... I assumed it would of
been obvious what story I was refering to. I apologize next time I
will be more specific.

"(The cops) talked with her parents and afterwards that told me that they
had the right to refuse thier daughter because she was of age...",
meaning
she was at least 18.

Not nessacarily... She was of age... thats all it said. In some
states I'm led to believe you can ask your children to leave at the age
of 16 sometimes... But they become a ward of state... Be interesting
to hear the age of the girl.

While you're waiting, check the legas status of "adulthood" (when one is
considered an 'adult' and check the statues for age of consent; I think
you'll be surprised there. I was.
[snip]
Phil #3

Is the child yours or were you just a sucker?


IDOXLR8 wrote:
To make a long story short and not get into the ongoing debate, I would
like to offer my story for some of you whom may have different opinions
and let you decide where the battle really lies.

I am now 46, I am a proud father of three, of one a 14 year old son
that still lives at home that I have raised by myself since he was 2
years old... By myself, no help, never asked for any, and never got
any.
You might think that that makes me biased but in truth, it is just the
opposite. I also have two other children. One of witch is an adult at
29 and has her own children.
The other is the cause for my post tonight.
He is now 16 and lives on the west coast (US)...
At the time of his conception I was 28. I was doing well in my career
and was single and lived with a roommate. We shared a very nice home
and bills, drove nice cars, and had money to spend. Our house was the
gathering place on the weekends. We did party...Alot...
Every weekend was a housefull of people untill the wee hours...
One Sunday evening my roommate an I came home from a lake outing to
find this girl sitting on our front pourch. She had suitcases with her,
I thought, "this has to be bad"...
I was right, she was pregnant. And she says its mine. We had numerous
discussions about my willingness to pay for an abortion and possibly
adoption but she stood fast that it was against her religion.

She tells me that she is from a Jahova's Witness Family and that she
told her parents that she was pregnant and they "DISASSOCIATED" her
because it was against thier beliefs.
Ok... Well here I am, My neighbor girl sitting on my doorstep, pregnant
and nowhere to live. I called the cops!!!
That did not have any effect at all, they talked with her parents and
afterwards that told me that they had the right to refuse thier
daughter because she was of age...
So... It all boils down to that fact that I was a good man and took her
in. I am the only one that stood beside her during the entire
pregnancy. I supported her fully, no questions asked.
Until her mother decided to divorce her father, then all of the sudden
the religion was of no matter. Her mother, the one that would not even
go to the hospital while her oldest child was giving birth to her first
child, was all mighty. It cost me, and still is.


I am disabled and have been for 8 years, I collect SS Disability, not
SSI...

Both of my children that are under the age of 18 also receive monthly
checks from my earnings.

Several years ago The state he lives in started garnishing my disablity
income for the amount of $200 per month. No prob, I just had to lower
my standards and get used to living on $500 a month and not $700 a
month. Now today I got a letter from SS stating that they are going to
garnish me for a total of $400 per month. THat is way over 50% of my
total income, and I still have a child that I am trying to raise.
Think about this before you slam me...
My Monthly income is less than $700
It could be $900 without child support
It will be less than $500 next month

I now have to move my son out of the substandard home that we live in
and into what?
A crime ridden motel, one bedroom gang infested??
Look there are those of us that care about our children, I love mine...
BUT, how do I take away from just to make shure the other is better?

Werebat wrote:
Is the child yours or were you just a sucker?


LOL.. Very good point there Werebat....

SpiderHam77