changing BF to sleep to DH

i'm wondering if those who breastfeed to sleep have had any experience with
this?
DS is 16 months. he has always been breastfed to sleep and that has always
worked great for me. i have not tried any other way to put him to sleep. he
is in a big bed in his room & i usually just lay down & feed until he drops
off.

coming up soon, DH will need to put DS to sleep at night for the occasional
night (i'm training to be an aba counsellor and there are night meetings).
we tried the other night, but it was a disaster. we tried DH just being
there, but DS got excited & wanted to play. we tried me lying on the floor
with DH lying on the bed and that got DS hysterical. we then tried me out of
the room, but i think it was too late by then.

i'd like to know how other people have transitioned their other half putting
their BF-to-sleep-toddler to bed. did you stay out of the way totally for
the whole bedtime routine? or part or what? also, when we get it to work,
will it confuse DS if some nights are DH & some nights are me? i would
really miss putting him to bed.

thanks for your info!
--
elizabeth (in australia)
DS - born 20-aug-02

i'd like to know how other people have transitioned their other half putting
their BF-to-sleep-toddler to bed. did you stay out of the way totally for
the whole bedtime routine? or part or what? also, when we get it to work,
will it confuse DS if some nights are DH & some nights are me? i would
really miss putting him to bed.

thanks for your info!
--
elizabeth (in australia)
DS - born 20-aug-02

We didn't make this transition *intentionally*, but lately DH has usually put
DS to bed, and it's fairly easy, even though DS was accustomed to nursing to
sleep most of the time. Also, DH has always been able to put DS to sleep when
I'm not home; it tends to take quite a bit longer and often DH would be snoring
in DS' bed while DS played at his feet when I got home, but going to sleep
without Mommy was never a completely foreign concept for DS.

First, maybe six months ago, DS began to sometimes unlatch himself, roll over
and fall asleep without the boob in his mouth at least as often as not. If
that hadn't already been the case, I've no idea whether he'd've been ready for
a transition.

Then around 2-3 months ago, with me in early pregnancy and feeling exhausted by
about 8:00 p.m., I started going to bed really early, so DH took over DS'
bedtime routine completely, and often by the time DS was pajama'd,
toothbrushed, and read to, I was already asleep. Sometimes DS would climb into
bed next to me and fall asleep; other times he'd stay with DH in his bed. But
in any case, without any real plan or fuss about it, he began to go to sleep
without nursing at least as often as with.

Now, quite often even if I'm the one to get him ready for bed, DS will fall
asleep without nursing. He may actually be weaning -- he is almost 3 years
old, after all -- though it's hard to be sure since our daily routine has been
pretty disrupted with holiday visitors and vacations. At this point he's
nursed about once every 2-3 days for the last month or so.

DH and I do pretty much the same bedtime routine, ending with lying down with
DS in DS' bed. DS certainly doesn't seem confused by the fact that sometimes
it's Daddy, who just falls asleep ;-) and sometimes it's Mommy, who will let
him have some mama milk if he asks.

Holly
Mom to Camden, almost 3
EDD #2 6/8/04

"elizabeth emerald" wrote
i'd like to know how other people have transitioned their other half putting
their BF-to-sleep-toddler to bed. did you stay out of the way totally for
the whole bedtime routine? or part or what? also, when we get it to work,
will it confuse DS if some nights are DH & some nights are me? i would
really miss putting him to bed.


Kind of like giving a breastfed baby a bottle, I think that getting a
breastfed-to-sleep baby to sleep without BFing works best when the
BFing mom is not there at all.

You can never tell for sure ahead of time, but I suspect that your DH
and DS will be able to find a way for DS to go to sleep without you
and without trauma. If it were *me*, I'd suggest to DH that he follow
DS's usual bedtime routine, whatever that may be, and at the end,
offer DS a cup of milk and, perhaps, a cracker or plain cookie. Then,
DH could lie down with DS. (Better yet, DH could try just putting him
to bed, kissing him goodnight, and leaving. Imagine that!) But of
course the person putting the child to bed has to ultimately find
their own way.

I don't think it will be a problem at all for your DS's bedtime
routine to vary sometimes. You will not only be *able to* keep putting
DS to bed when you're home; you will probably still *have to* put him
to bed when you're home -- as you already experienced.

My mother often puts my 12-MO down for naps. When I'm there, I must
either nurse her to sleep or rock her to sleep while singing. My
mother simply waits for her to act very tired, then tries laying her
in her crib. If she protests, my mom gets her out and tries again in a
bit. At some point, the baby no longer protests, and my mom leaves her
for her nap. I could never get away with putting her down awake.

With all three of my kids, I found that my DH and my mom tended to
find easier ways to get the child to sleep than the child "allowed" me
to use.

Good luck!

I don't have any actual experience at what you are asking, but I think
it would be best for you to just keep bf to sleep when you are with
your ds, and let your dh and ds work it out when you are not around.
They will find a way that works for them.

KC


"elizabeth emerald" wrote in message ...
i'm wondering if those who breastfeed to sleep have had any experience with
this?
DS is 16 months. he has always been breastfed to sleep and that has always
worked great for me. i have not tried any other way to put him to sleep. he
is in a big bed in his room & i usually just lay down & feed until he drops
off.

coming up soon, DH will need to put DS to sleep at night for the occasional
night (i'm training to be an aba counsellor and there are night meetings).
we tried the other night, but it was a disaster. we tried DH just being
there, but DS got excited & wanted to play. we tried me lying on the floor
with DH lying on the bed and that got DS hysterical. we then tried me out of
the room, but i think it was too late by then.

i'd like to know how other people have transitioned their other half putting
their BF-to-sleep-toddler to bed. did you stay out of the way totally for
the whole bedtime routine? or part or what? also, when we get it to work,
will it confuse DS if some nights are DH & some nights are me? i would
really miss putting him to bed.

thanks for your info!

KC wrote:
I don't have any actual experience at what you are asking, but I think
it would be best for you to just keep bf to sleep when you are with
your ds, and let your dh and ds work it out when you are not around.
They will find a way that works for them.

I second this advice. If you were going to be working every night, it
might be worth establishing a new routine, but if you're otherwise happy
with the way things work with you handling bedtime when you're home, I'd
leave your son and husband to figure out their own way when they must.


Emily, whose husband dealt with such issues by driving the kids around
or watch videos 'til they fell asleep, or letting them stay up 'til I
got home :-P

elizabeth emerald wrote:
[...]
DS is 16 months. he has always been breastfed to sleep and that has always
worked great for me. i have not tried any other way to put him to sleep. he
is in a big bed in his room & i usually just lay down & feed until he drops
off.
[...]
i'd like to know how other people have transitioned their other half putting
their BF-to-sleep-toddler to bed. [...]

I used the "No-Cry Sleep Solution" idea of unlatching
baby from the breast before he is asleep, then putting
him in his crib while still drowsy. So now, whether
Pillbug is asleep or not when we're done feeding, I
put him in his crib and within 5 minutes, he falls
asleep on his own.

This works also for DH. If he gives Pillbug a bottle,
he can then either hold him until he falls asleep or
put him in the crib drowsy. I am not in the room when
he does this.

-- Anita --
--
SUCCESS FOUR FLIGHTS THURSDAY MORNING ALL AGAINST
TWENTY ONE MILE WIND STARTED FROM LEVEL WITH ENGINE
POWER ALONE AVERAGE SPEED THROUGH AIR THIRTY ONE
MILES LONGEST 57 SECONDS INFORM PRESS HOME CHRISTMAS.

"elizabeth emerald" wrote in message ...
i'm wondering if those who breastfeed to sleep have had any experience with
this?
DS is 16 months. he has always been breastfed to sleep and that has always
worked great for me. i have not tried any other way to put him to sleep. he
is in a big bed in his room & i usually just lay down & feed until he drops
off.

coming up soon, DH will need to put DS to sleep at night for the occasional
night (i'm training to be an aba counsellor and there are night meetings).
we tried the other night, but it was a disaster.

I think it is hopeless as long as you are home. I'd keep doing
whatever it is you do and let them worry about it when you are gone.
That is what we did. Dh doesn't really put them to bed though - they
might not go for that. They just stay up and fall asleep together out
in the living room and that has worked well for them. No stress ;-)
At 16mo neither of mine would stand for dh to put them to bed if I was
home.
--

Nikki

"elizabeth emerald" wrote:
i'd like to know how other people have transitioned their other half
putting
their BF-to-sleep-toddler to bed. did you stay out of the way totally for
the whole bedtime routine?
I stay out of the way the whole time when Allyson is putting Caterpillar to
bed, but she's much younger. If she sees me, she fusses more. If she
doesn't see me, she usually goes to sleep without more than one or two small
complaints, unless we've let her get overtired. No problems switching to
nurse to sleep when I need to put her to bed.

Phoebe
--
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