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How to stop the night wakings?



 
 
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  #1  
Old March 13th 08, 03:54 AM posted to misc.kids,misc.kids.pregnancy,misc.kids.breastfeeding
cjra
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Posts: 1,015
Default How to stop the night wakings?

On Mar 12, 4:06*pm, (Beth Kevles) wrote:
Hi --

With our kids, we approached things as follows, and had both kids pretty
much sleeping through before age 2:

First, deal with falling asleep at night:
* * * *Feed well so the child falls asleep feeling full
* * * *Never nurse all the way to sleep
* * * *Consistent sleeping place (crib -- I could never sleep through
* * * *the night snuffles when in the same room)


We have a few issues here - her eating habits are hit and miss these
days. Some nights she gobbles up a storm. Other nights it's a few
bites and NOTHING we do can make her eat more. I figured that was
associated with her sleep issues, but actually last night she ate a
ton and slept very poorly.

The nursing to sleep is an issue. How does one stop this? When I don't
nurse her to sleep, she just cries and cries. That said, when I'm not
here, DH is able to get her to sleep. But if she knows I'm in the
house, she won't stop til she has me.

Our consistent sleep place is our bed, and that's what I'd like to
change to the crib, but the crib is in our room. SO it's like teasing
her - we're there but she can't lay on top of us.


Next, deal with morning:
* * * Blackout shades in bedroom
* * * Never feed right on waking. *Instead, do morning routine first
* * * (diaper, dress both of us)
* * * Go to kitchen to eat and nurse


We do all this already, morning is usually not a problem.


Finally, deal with night wakings:
* * * * *Never feed at night


We haven't been consistent here. No feeding at night was working for
awhile, but DH gave in a few times (and ok, I gave in a few times too
and now we're screwed....)

* * * * *Be boring at night -- no talking, just "shhh, shhh"


This has been a consistent thing we've done.

* * * * *Keep child in crib when he wakes, do not remove to my bed


Well, since she's always co-slept, the whole transition to crib will
be an issue.

* * * * *Let child cry if it doesn't last more than minutes


We have tried this, I think we lasted 30 minutes which was too long
for everyone.

* * * * *Consider pain reliever (tylenol, etc) if you suspect teething
* * * * *pain causing the wakings


Tried that a few times, but as I've said elsewhere, pain relievers
seem to do nothing for her.


The theory is that waking is caused partly by habits that can be
changed. *Ie, a child is used to eating right away on waking, so learns
to waken when mildly hungry. *But by age two (or earlier) the child
should be able to sleep through a certain amount of hunger.


Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's a habit. That was why my leaving the room
helped. But ever since she had croup (over Thanksgiving) her sleep
pattern got all thrown off and has never recovered. Didn't help that
we travelled soon after that, then I was in hospital for emergency
surgery, and then ill...so everything was off for a good 6 weeks.
We've been trying to get back on track for the past 6 weeks and it's
not working!

Sleeping through the night is GLORIOUS. *The kids are 10 and 12 now,
which means we have the opposite problem: getting them out of bed in the
morning.


We already decided that when we get to that stage, we're going to bang
pots in her room as payback ;-)

Thanks for the suggestions. We'll try them out.
  #2  
Old March 13th 08, 01:00 PM posted to misc.kids,misc.kids.pregnancy,misc.kids.breastfeeding
Ericka Kammerer
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Posts: 2,293
Default How to stop the night wakings?

cjra wrote:

The nursing to sleep is an issue. How does one stop this? When I don't
nurse her to sleep, she just cries and cries. That said, when I'm not
here, DH is able to get her to sleep. But if she knows I'm in the
house, she won't stop til she has me.


You may need to absent yourself at every bedtime for
a while.

Our consistent sleep place is our bed, and that's what I'd like to
change to the crib, but the crib is in our room. SO it's like teasing
her - we're there but she can't lay on top of us.


Any chance of expediting completion of her room?

We haven't been consistent here. No feeding at night was working for
awhile, but DH gave in a few times (and ok, I gave in a few times too
and now we're screwed....)


Not necessarily, but it does make it more of a
challenge.


The theory is that waking is caused partly by habits that can be
changed. Ie, a child is used to eating right away on waking, so learns
to waken when mildly hungry. But by age two (or earlier) the child
should be able to sleep through a certain amount of hunger.


Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's a habit. That was why my leaving the room
helped. But ever since she had croup (over Thanksgiving) her sleep
pattern got all thrown off and has never recovered. Didn't help that
we travelled soon after that, then I was in hospital for emergency
surgery, and then ill...so everything was off for a good 6 weeks.
We've been trying to get back on track for the past 6 weeks and it's
not working!


It does take a while to get back on track after upheaval
like that. You may just need to be patient and consistent. You
might also introduce another upheaval, but this time deliberately
in order to do things like get her to bed earlier, remove mom
from bedtime, stop feeding at night, etc.

Best wishes,
Ericka
  #3  
Old March 13th 08, 02:30 PM posted to misc.kids,misc.kids.pregnancy,misc.kids.breastfeeding
Penny Gaines[_2_]
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Posts: 124
Default How to stop the night wakings?

cjra wrote:
[snip]
Our consistent sleep place is our bed, and that's what I'd like to
change to the crib, but the crib is in our room. SO it's like teasing
her - we're there but she can't lay on top of us.

[snip]
Keep child in crib when he wakes, do not remove to my bed


Well, since she's always co-slept, the whole transition to crib will
be an issue.

[snip]

Personally I wouldn't bother with a crib any more, I'd get her her own
bed. If you are worried she'd fall out, you could either put cushions
next to it, or have a very low one, possiby just a matress on the floor.

--
Penny Gaines
UK mum to three
  #4  
Old March 13th 08, 04:52 PM posted to misc.kids,misc.kids.pregnancy,misc.kids.breastfeeding
cjra
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Posts: 1,015
Default How to stop the night wakings?

On Mar 13, 7:00 am, Ericka Kammerer wrote:
cjra wrote:
The nursing to sleep is an issue. How does one stop this? When I don't
nurse her to sleep, she just cries and cries. That said, when I'm not
here, DH is able to get her to sleep. But if she knows I'm in the
house, she won't stop til she has me.


You may need to absent yourself at every bedtime for
a while.


I think DH is getting softer though, so he's not helping! He used to
be more consistent with her, but lack of sleep is weaing him down too.

Our consistent sleep place is our bed, and that's what I'd like to
change to the crib, but the crib is in our room. SO it's like teasing
her - we're there but she can't lay on top of us.


Any chance of expediting completion of her room?


Not unless we win the lottery and can pay someone to do it. We
scheduled out every weekend based on what needs to be done, and came
up with a September end date. No other rooms are 'complete' except our
bedroom.

Just for the record, things we need to do:
4 windows:
1. Remove lead paint from casing, strip windows (stripping to be done
off-site)
2. Sand, paint casing
(1&2 have to be done when she's out of the house)
3. re-glaze 4 windows (each double hung) and paint
4. frames: strip (done off-site), sand and stain, then rehang
4. Rehang with weights

2 doors, which include transom windows
1. strip, sand, paint
2. rehang

walls:
tape and float, sand, paint

floor:
complete stripping of linoleum (most is off, but there's a
particularly stubborn part)
lay new flooring

Having done one room almost completely, and about 90% of the kitchen,
we have a good idea of how long each task takes.

  #5  
Old March 13th 08, 10:13 PM posted to misc.kids,misc.kids.pregnancy,misc.kids.breastfeeding
Anne Rogers[_4_]
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Posts: 670
Default How to stop the night wakings?


Not unless we win the lottery and can pay someone to do it. We
scheduled out every weekend based on what needs to be done, and came
up with a September end date. No other rooms are 'complete' except our
bedroom.


I think you're stuck between a rock and a hard place here, I honestly
think that to both continue nursing and cosleeping and also sleep
through the night is a VERY hard task, something that I cannot recall a
single person I've come across having done it (that could be because if
it was easy and not a problem it doesn't get mentioned). I know plenty
of people who nursed toddlers and had them sleeping through the night in
a separate room and I also know of non nursing cosleeping though the
night toddlers - I've had one of each myself!

So this is where you have to get creative, is there anyway at all you
can create a space for her - even if it means moving something every
night all a room has to be is a space where you can put a crib that is
not within reach of anything that can do her harm, which mean placing
something in the middle of an otherwise empty and undecorated room is an
option - it's what my parents do at their house, they have a room with
shelving all around the walls and precious things on them, it's a small
room, but a crib in the middle is far enough from everything. I had
friends who's baby slept in the kitchen, they moved the crib from the
hall to the kitchen every single night and every nap, it was a pain but
their kid had a normal or even better than normal sleep routine at every
age.

It may feel like you can only survive so long, but believe me, you do
survive, it's not fun, but you do.

Anne
  #6  
Old March 13th 08, 10:35 PM posted to misc.kids,misc.kids.pregnancy,misc.kids.breastfeeding
cjra
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Posts: 1,015
Default How to stop the night wakings?

On Mar 13, 4:13 pm, Anne Rogers wrote:


So this is where you have to get creative, is there anyway at all you
can create a space for her - even if it means moving something every
night all a room has to be is a space where you can put a crib that is
not within reach of anything that can do her harm, which mean placing
something in the middle of an otherwise empty and undecorated room is an
option - it's what my parents do at their house, they have a room with
shelving all around the walls and precious things on them, it's a small
room, but a crib in the middle is far enough from everything. I had
friends who's baby slept in the kitchen, they moved the crib from the
hall to the kitchen every single night and every nap, it was a pain but
their kid had a normal or even better than normal sleep routine at every
age.


Our problem is lack of doors - all the doors have been removed and
sent of for stripping (lead paint removal), . So without doors,
there's no way to make the area quiet for her to sleep and still have
us do anything else in the house. That's why I don' t put her in the
room I've been using. There are only two other rooms which *can* be
closed off and are otherwise safe, we don't have *that* many rooms in
the house to begin with. Well, there is the bathroom but I'd rather
not put her to sleep in there....

If the next few options don't work we'll consider re-arranging beds
and closing off a room somehow. I'm trying to do this without totally
re-structuring the house, if at all possible.



  #7  
Old March 13th 08, 11:03 PM posted to misc.kids,misc.kids.pregnancy,misc.kids.breastfeeding
lu-lu
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Posts: 113
Default How to stop the night wakings?


"cjra" wrote in message
...
On Mar 13, 4:13 pm, Anne Rogers wrote:


So this is where you have to get creative, is there anyway at all you
can create a space for her - even if it means moving something every
night all a room has to be is a space where you can put a crib that is
not within reach of anything that can do her harm, which mean placing
something in the middle of an otherwise empty and undecorated room is an
option - it's what my parents do at their house, they have a room with
shelving all around the walls and precious things on them, it's a small
room, but a crib in the middle is far enough from everything. I had
friends who's baby slept in the kitchen, they moved the crib from the
hall to the kitchen every single night and every nap, it was a pain but
their kid had a normal or even better than normal sleep routine at every
age.


Our problem is lack of doors - all the doors have been removed and
sent of for stripping (lead paint removal), . So without doors,
there's no way to make the area quiet for her to sleep and still have
us do anything else in the house. That's why I don' t put her in the
room I've been using. There are only two other rooms which *can* be
closed off and are otherwise safe, we don't have *that* many rooms in
the house to begin with. Well, there is the bathroom but I'd rather
not put her to sleep in there....

If the next few options don't work we'll consider re-arranging beds
and closing off a room somehow. I'm trying to do this without totally
re-structuring the house, if at all possible.

I might be a little dippy here, apologies if so Can she not sleep in the
room she's in at the moment, and your DH sleep in the room you're in (with
you)?

Lucy x


  #8  
Old March 13th 08, 11:26 PM posted to misc.kids,misc.kids.pregnancy,misc.kids.breastfeeding
cjra
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Posts: 1,015
Default How to stop the night wakings?

On Mar 13, 5:03 pm, "lu-lu" wrote:
"cjra" wrote in message

...

On Mar 13, 4:13 pm, Anne Rogers wrote:


So this is where you have to get creative, is there anyway at all you
can create a space for her - even if it means moving something every
night all a room has to be is a space where you can put a crib that is
not within reach of anything that can do her harm, which mean placing
something in the middle of an otherwise empty and undecorated room is an
option - it's what my parents do at their house, they have a room with
shelving all around the walls and precious things on them, it's a small
room, but a crib in the middle is far enough from everything. I had
friends who's baby slept in the kitchen, they moved the crib from the
hall to the kitchen every single night and every nap, it was a pain but
their kid had a normal or even better than normal sleep routine at every
age.


Our problem is lack of doors - all the doors have been removed and
sent of for stripping (lead paint removal), . So without doors,
there's no way to make the area quiet for her to sleep and still have
us do anything else in the house. That's why I don' t put her in the
room I've been using. There are only two other rooms which *can* be
closed off and are otherwise safe, we don't have *that* many rooms in
the house to begin with. Well, there is the bathroom but I'd rather
not put her to sleep in there....


If the next few options don't work we'll consider re-arranging beds
and closing off a room somehow. I'm trying to do this without totally
re-structuring the house, if at all possible.


I might be a little dippy here, apologies if so Can she not sleep in the
room she's in at the moment, and your DH sleep in the room you're in (with
you)?


I've been trying to convince him of that. He's resisted for a variety
of reasons, not least of which he hates the bed and though moving it
is possible, it's a PITA so I was just hoping to find another solution
before we went that route. We may do that soon.

btw - it's not that I'm making excuses, it's just that I'm trying to
not do a bunch of different things that require substantial effort and
lifestyle change in the hope that _one_ works. Many things we have
tried, and now I'll just take it one by one and see how it goes.
  #9  
Old March 14th 08, 12:34 AM posted to misc.kids,misc.kids.pregnancy,misc.kids.breastfeeding
Rosalie B.
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Posts: 984
Default How to stop the night wakings?

cjra wrote:

On Mar 13, 4:13 pm, Anne Rogers wrote:


So this is where you have to get creative, is there anyway at all you
can create a space for her - even if it means moving something every
night all a room has to be is a space where you can put a crib that is
not within reach of anything that can do her harm, which mean placing
something in the middle of an otherwise empty and undecorated room is an
option - it's what my parents do at their house, they have a room with
shelving all around the walls and precious things on them, it's a small
room, but a crib in the middle is far enough from everything. I had
friends who's baby slept in the kitchen, they moved the crib from the
hall to the kitchen every single night and every nap, it was a pain but
their kid had a normal or even better than normal sleep routine at every
age.


Our problem is lack of doors - all the doors have been removed and
sent of for stripping (lead paint removal), . So without doors,


Why does the area have to be quiet? One of the other things that my
mom told me was not to tiptoe around when the baby was asleep because
then she would wake at every noise. Whereas when you are running the
vacuum or dishwasher or whatever, or if she had siblings playing
around, she'd get used to some noise. Is it that quiet at the daycare
when she takes her nap?

Really it is better to do this - otherwise every time you go on a trip
she won't sleep.

there's no way to make the area quiet for her to sleep and still have
us do anything else in the house. That's why I don' t put her in the
room I've been using. There are only two other rooms which *can* be
closed off and are otherwise safe, we don't have *that* many rooms in
the house to begin with. Well, there is the bathroom but I'd rather
not put her to sleep in there....

If the next few options don't work we'll consider re-arranging beds
and closing off a room somehow. I'm trying to do this without totally
re-structuring the house, if at all possible.


  #10  
Old March 14th 08, 03:15 AM posted to misc.kids,misc.kids.pregnancy,misc.kids.breastfeeding
MarieD[_2_]
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Posts: 86
Default How to stop the night wakings?

"Rosalie B." wrote in message
...
Why does the area have to be quiet? One of the other things that my
mom told me was not to tiptoe around when the baby was asleep because
then she would wake at every noise. Whereas when you are running the
vacuum or dishwasher or whatever, or if she had siblings playing
around, she'd get used to some noise. Is it that quiet at the daycare
when she takes her nap?


There are babies who will not sleep through normal noises. My first two
babies slept through everything, but my youngest did not. She can't sleep in
total silence, either. She sleeps with a fan. When she was a baby, if we
were not silent, she would not sleep. She was already a horrible sleeper,
and because I knew you weren't supposed to be quiet when babies were
sleeping it was quite awhile before we tried being really quiet during her
napping. It did help somewhat. I can't sleep through things, either. The
husband, he can sleep through absolutely anything. Really.
Marie

 




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