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#21
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Mom goes AWOL from Iraq - says children need her at home
Sophie wrote:
I'm not so sure the 2 weeks of R&R is a good idea anyway. I can't imagine having to get my kids used to dad being gone *again*. I bet tons of military personnel will go UA/AWOL. Thats what I keep thinking. If my dh had been offered leave while he was in afgh. I would have told him to decline it, or else go to europe or something, but don't come home 15 days only to leave again - it would have been really disruptive, I think, as much as it would have been great to see him, its hard on the kids. cara |
#22
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Mom goes AWOL from Iraq - says children need her at home
Sophie wrote:
Wow, that's SO off. Do you know how many Enlisteds have college degrees? Believe it or not, some people *choose* to go Enlisted. My BIL chose to go Enlisted *after* he got his degree. -- Nikki Mama to Hunter (4) and Luke (2) |
#23
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Mom goes AWOL from Iraq - says children need her at home
user wrote in message .. .
On 5 Nov 2003 16:59:35 GMT, Ignoramus14934 wrote: In article , Banty wrote: In article , Ignoramus14934 says... Well, sure. We have a volunteer military, so they better fight the wars that they were paid for. Personally, I think that it is not very smart to join national guard. Especially if you have 7 kids. So, how much of your opinion is from not thinking it smart to join when you have a large family, and how much of it is from not thinking it smart to join *at all*? Did you really mean the second sentence? Well, it is pretty irrational to join the national guard, unless you want long exciting assignments like searching for insurgents in Iraq. I agree with the above statement. Ummmm.... you do realize that there are people out there who believe that they owe service to their country, right? Hmmm, so whatever prevented them doing the service before they had kids? Or if the desire to serve their country came upon them only after they had bred up a large family, whatever prevented them from doing some form of service to their community that would not involve the possibility of lengthy assigments away from home? There's plenty of degraded land that needs rehabilitating, they could spend their spare time volunteering for an environmental group. Not much pay involved but if service is owed, then a little bit of free service is probably just as good as a whole lot of paid service. If the burning desire is to be of service to the armed forces or in the "war on terrorism", then they could have raised money for charities to help deployed soldiers, veterans etc. |
#24
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Mom goes AWOL from Iraq - says children need her at home
"cara" wrote in message ... Sophie wrote: I'm not so sure the 2 weeks of R&R is a good idea anyway. I can't imagine having to get my kids used to dad being gone *again*. I bet tons of military personnel will go UA/AWOL. Thats what I keep thinking. If my dh had been offered leave while he was in afgh. I would have told him to decline it, or else go to europe or something, but don't come home 15 days only to leave again - it would have been really disruptive, I think, as much as it would have been great to see him, its hard on the kids. cara I think I would have gone to meet him somewhere else, without the kids. |
#25
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Mom goes AWOL from Iraq - says children need her at home
"Circe" wrote in message news:kPfqb.6001$7B2.4200@fed1read04...
"Sophie" wrote in message ... "Circe" wrote in message news:Bafqb.5857$7B2.2952@fed1read04... Oh it's known recruiters fib. We've all heard about the guy who was joining the Navy and was told he'd never have to go on a ship eyeroll I just think we have a serious problem in the way our volunteer military operates. I have the utmost respect for people who choose to go into the military, but I also believe that a large majority of people in the military wouldn't be there if they had other viable options. The military, especially the enlisted forces, is hardly a representative cross-section of the American population; instead, it's disproportionately made up of people whose grew up at or near the poverty line. Wow, that's SO off. Do you know how many Enlisteds have college degrees? Not nearly as many as in the population at large, I don't think. Don't most people who have college degrees in the military wind up in the officer corps, though? (Showing my ignorance here.) Believe it or not, some people *choose* to go Enlisted. Oh, I believe. And "low income" was probably the wrong term to use. There's no question, however, that wealthy are virtually non-existent in the military population. Minorities are vastly overrepresented (12.5% of all Americans are black, but 22% of people in the military are black; that's a pretty stark demographic difference between the American population at large and the volunteer military population). And there's little doubt that you don't see very many kids of top level politicians enlisting in the military these days. My point is that, without a draft to put *all* young people, including the children of the folks who choose how to exercise military power, the people at the top are not putting their own sons and daughters in the line of fire by sending the country into war. -- While I agree that politicians might make different decisions if their own sons and daughters were at risk (of course, we have a commander-in- chief who has invited people to attack his own troops, so go figure), the rich have always been able to buy their way out of danger. During the Vietnam years, many (wealthier) students had college deferrments and I have no doubt that people today would think of some way out of their obligations if there were a compulsory service. The dirty work has always been done disproportionately by those with fewer resources and I am not aware that we have any culture that feels you owe something. Nonetheless, there are plenty of middle and upper middle class kids who are joining the military -- at least before 9-11 changed everything. There are good benefits and the economy is not good. I have sympathy for the mother who is deserting BUT plenty of other people who have been called up are undergoing hardships as well. (My practical side wonders what on earth a couple with 7 children were thinking with both of them in the military.) I am under the impression that she could make an appeal in a true hardship case. If she goes AWOL, though, then she will have to deal with the lifelong consequences of a dishonorable discharge and/or prosecution. Lynne |
#26
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Mom goes AWOL from Iraq - says children need her at home
"Banty" wrote in message ... In article , Nevermind says... What's happening in the guard now (that is, so many being sent overseas) is unprecedented, AFAIK. However, for the past few years, we have seen that the world has changed, and noone should voluntarily enlist in any of the armed services unless they *expect* to go to war. And noone should ever have joined any of the armed forces unless they were 100% ready to go. I have always thought that two married people with kids should not be allowed to both be in the service. Not sure how a policy could be devised to effect that restriction, but it should, somehow. It's always been a matter of odds. The *purpose* of the guard and those monthly weekends and yearly weeks in training pointed to - now what on earth do you THINK that was about?! Perhaps it's because I grew up in a military family with a father who is a veteran of three wars, but this odds-betting "I didn't mean to do war" begging-off about guard deployments is just mind-boggling. A colleague I work with every day, a man in his 30s with three girls, joined the Army National Guard. He came back from basic and armoured training and reported again to work on September 10, 2001. Guess what came in a phone call the next evening. Banty (ya think he just thought he was playing soldiers-and-tanks...I don't think so) I was reading a dance forum. In the "Ask a Parent" section a dancer told of talking to an army recruiter at the mall with her single mother friend. The recruiter told them if they joined the reserves they would never get sent anywhere. She was attempting to clarify with the parents if he meant both of them, or just the single mother. I suspect there are more than a couple of people who get pulled in by misleading recruiters and don't know how to get out before they are committed. However, since the original story talks of both parents being in the military, I'm guessing she knew exactly what she was getting into. She may not have known that her backup plan would backfire into losing custody of some of her kids. |
#27
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Mom goes AWOL from Iraq - says children need her at home
"Ignoramus909" wrote in message ... In article , Sophie wrote: Thats what I keep thinking. If my dh had been offered leave while he was in afgh. I would have told him to decline it, or else go to europe or something, but don't come home 15 days only to leave again - it would have been really disruptive, I think, as much as it would have been great to see him, its hard on the kids. I think I would have gone to meet him somewhere else, without the kids. I just cannot believe that I hear this. With all due respect... What if your husband, whom you suggested to decline visiting your kids, gets killed? You and the kids will live *forever* knowing that they missed an opportunity to see their dad for the last time. You've obviously never had the pleasure of raising kids while your spouse was at war. You have no reasonable idea of how it affects your children or yourself. If my husband was offered leave during his last 11 month deployment, I, like Sophie, would have told him to go hang out in Italy and tried to get there to visit him without the kids. By a certain point in a deployment your kids get past the major upheaval, and its usually pretty far into the deployment. Seeing Daddy or Mommy again is just going to confuse young kids and prolong adjustment periods. Homecomings aren't all fun when a military person comes home. There's a whole lot of adjustment that goes on. From kids having one parent who disciplines, to spouses becoming super independent. Two weeks isn't nearly long enough to go through all the phases of homecoming adjustment and I wonder how many couples are spending all their time fighting, getting divorced, dealing with upset kids... etc. -----= Posted via Newsfeeds.Com, Uncensored Usenet News =----- http://www.newsfeeds.com - The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World! -----== Over 100,000 Newsgroups - 19 Different Servers! =----- |
#28
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Mom goes AWOL from Iraq - says children need her at home
In article ,
"Denise" wrote: "Ignoramus909" wrote in message ... In article , Sophie wrote: Thats what I keep thinking. If my dh had been offered leave while he was in afgh. I would have told him to decline it, or else go to europe or something, but don't come home 15 days only to leave again - it would have been really disruptive, I think, as much as it would have been great to see him, its hard on the kids. I think I would have gone to meet him somewhere else, without the kids. I just cannot believe that I hear this. With all due respect... What if your husband, whom you suggested to decline visiting your kids, gets killed? You and the kids will live *forever* knowing that they missed an opportunity to see their dad for the last time. You've obviously never had the pleasure of raising kids while your spouse was at war. You have no reasonable idea of how it affects your children or yourself. If my husband was offered leave during his last 11 month deployment, I, like Sophie, would have told him to go hang out in Italy and tried to get there to visit him without the kids. By a certain point in a deployment your kids get past the major upheaval, and its usually pretty far into the deployment. Seeing Daddy or Mommy again is just going to confuse young kids and prolong adjustment periods. Homecomings aren't all fun when a military person comes home. There's a whole lot of adjustment that goes on. From kids having one parent who disciplines, to spouses becoming super independent. Two weeks isn't nearly long enough to go through all the phases of homecoming adjustment and I wonder how many couples are spending all their time fighting, getting divorced, dealing with upset kids... etc. I am in nowhere near this situation, but think I'm beginning to understand your position. DH has spent quite a lot of time out of the country since last April, trips ranging from 3 weeks to 6-1/2 weeks, with up to two weeks off between trips. My kids are older (17 and 21), but in some ways I think this would have been easier if he just had one really long trip of several months. His time at home isn't enough to settle into a new routine, but it is enough to disrupt the old one! Fortunately, I THINK his next trip home will be for over a month. meh -- Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care |
#29
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Mom goes AWOL from Iraq - says children need her at home
"Ignoramus909" wrote in How would the kids feel if their dad was killed but later they learn that the mom arranged that they could not see him on his last leave from Iraq. Hopefully they would understand I did it for their own mental being. Given the situation they've grown up in, I'm sure they would accept it. -----= Posted via Newsfeeds.Com, Uncensored Usenet News =----- http://www.newsfeeds.com - The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World! -----== Over 100,000 Newsgroups - 19 Different Servers! =----- |
#30
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Mom goes AWOL from Iraq - says children need her at home
"dragonlady" wrote in message ... In article , "Denise" wrote: "Ignoramus909" wrote in message ... In article , Sophie wrote: Thats what I keep thinking. If my dh had been offered leave while he was in afgh. I would have told him to decline it, or else go to europe or something, but don't come home 15 days only to leave again - it would have been really disruptive, I think, as much as it would have been great to see him, its hard on the kids. I think I would have gone to meet him somewhere else, without the kids. I just cannot believe that I hear this. With all due respect... What if your husband, whom you suggested to decline visiting your kids, gets killed? You and the kids will live *forever* knowing that they missed an opportunity to see their dad for the last time. You've obviously never had the pleasure of raising kids while your spouse was at war. You have no reasonable idea of how it affects your children or yourself. If my husband was offered leave during his last 11 month deployment, I, like Sophie, would have told him to go hang out in Italy and tried to get there to visit him without the kids. By a certain point in a deployment your kids get past the major upheaval, and its usually pretty far into the deployment. Seeing Daddy or Mommy again is just going to confuse young kids and prolong adjustment periods. Homecomings aren't all fun when a military person comes home. There's a whole lot of adjustment that goes on. From kids having one parent who disciplines, to spouses becoming super independent. Two weeks isn't nearly long enough to go through all the phases of homecoming adjustment and I wonder how many couples are spending all their time fighting, getting divorced, dealing with upset kids... etc. I am in nowhere near this situation, but think I'm beginning to understand your position. DH has spent quite a lot of time out of the country since last April, trips ranging from 3 weeks to 6-1/2 weeks, with up to two weeks off between trips. My kids are older (17 and 21), but in some ways I think this would have been easier if he just had one really long trip of several months. His time at home isn't enough to settle into a new routine, but it is enough to disrupt the old one! Fortunately, I THINK his next trip home will be for over a month. My husband is Navy, so he spends a lot of months before a long deployment doing this 1 week jaunts here, home for a week, gone for 3, home for one gone for four... etc leading up to the big one (which this time was almost a year), all of my friends and I agree that it would be much better to do just one long deployment as opposed to the work ups. -----= Posted via Newsfeeds.Com, Uncensored Usenet News =----- http://www.newsfeeds.com - The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World! -----== Over 100,000 Newsgroups - 19 Different Servers! =----- |
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