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#1
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Disagreement about third child
My wife and I have an 8-year-old son, and a 5-year-old daughter. My wife would like a third. There are times when my wife accepts not having a third, but she'll frequently find herself wanting another. She is worried she'll regret not having another one, and the ones we have are growing some quickly.
As much as I try, I can not come to terms with having a third. I try, but for a variety of reasons, I don't want another one, but I worry about my wife. Does anyone have any suggestions? Thank you and take care. ST |
#2
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In article ,
Scott wrote: My wife and I have an 8-year-old son, and a 5-year-old daughter. My wife would like a third. There are times when my wife accepts not having a third, but she'll frequently find herself wanting another. She is worried she'll regret not having another one, and the ones we have are growing some quickly. As much as I try, I can not come to terms with having a third. I try, but for a variety of reasons, I don't want another one, but I worry about my wife. Well, I don't have suggestions, but we did have a third when our first two were 7.5 and 4.75 years old. My DH was a bit hesitant, and went along with it because he knew I really wanted another. But now he is very glad we did have the third, as he has had more chance to spend time with him and enjoy him than he did with the other two. The "baby" is now 4. I still kind of want another, but DH is holding firm. ;-) Actually, from a practical standpoint, I don't *really* want another, but emotionally I'd still *like* one. It is hard going back to naps and diapers once you have two reasonably self-sufficient children. On the other hand, your older children will be old enough to be genuinely helpful (if not with the baby in particular, just in general). Having one much younger child complicates family activities, outings and vacations (and adds to the expense of these). That said, we are both really glad we decided to go ahead and have a third child. It's been a really nice experience for older boys as well. It's really tough disagreeing about something major like this. I hope you get some good advice here and are able to figure something out. Take care, Robyn |
#3
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Scott wrote:
My wife and I have an 8-year-old son, and a 5-year-old daughter. My wife would like a third. There are times when my wife accepts not having a third, but she'll frequently find herself wanting another. She is worried she'll regret not having another one, and the ones we have are growing some quickly. As much as I try, I can not come to terms with having a third. I try, but for a variety of reasons, I don't want another one, but I worry about my wife. Does anyone have any suggestions? Thank you and take care. Who's in charge of birth control? I suggest you talk for a long time about this with your wife. One of you, or both, does not understand/accept what the other is saying. Worried about future regret is not a very strong reason to have a child, IMO. What's she really worried about? There are at least two families on my block in which the wife wanted a kid, and husband didn't. Both families got dogs Scott DS 11 and DD 9 |
#4
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In article ,
Scott wrote: There are at least two families on my block in which the wife wanted a kid, and husband didn't. Both families got dogs I have to say that a dog wouldn't have cut it for me. Before we had our third, I wanted another child very much. I had/have no interest in having a dog ;-) I certainly didn't want to embark on something so significant to our family without my husband's buy-in, but I would definitely have had regrets if we hadn't had our third. One thing the couple in question might want to consider is doing some fostering. It could be a way for the mom to have someone else to nurture without it being a permanent situation. I think it takes a very special type of person to be able to care for a child and then give them back, and I'm not sure I could do it, but it is something I considered looking into if we decided not to have another child of our own. I wish the OP and his wife luck in sorting out their feelings on this issue. There really isn't anything we can tell them that will help very much, IMO. --Robyn |
#5
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