not CIO but Cry-In-Arms?

"Jo" wrote in message
...
Anyone heard of this?

What are your thoughts?

http://www.awareparenting.com/answer13.htm

Its all so confusing! I thought it would be much kinder to them if they
didn't cry - a dummy/boob/rocking/wrapping helps that, but what do we
really know about how much a baby *needs* to cry?

Am I just delirious with lack of sleep for even considering this?


Jo (Mum to a cat-napping Will, 4.5 months)

Haven't had time to read all responses or the article (sorry), but I have
tried CIO with each of my kids (although I think I must have been insane to
give it a go with H after what happened with K).

I will never do that to another child of mine. It may work with other
children, but it sure as hell doesn't work with mine.

I do, however let them cry with me there. Both my kids were great sleepers
at night, but only napped on me during the day. I was prepared for this
with H and now I use a combination of NCSS and cuddling the child whilst
lying down where I want them to sleep.
If H is tired but past getting himself to sleep, I hold him against me and
sing songs until he relaxes and falls asleep. If he's at the "past it"
stage (won't bf, won't lie down etc) it might take 5 minutes of crying and
cuddling for him to settle down, but he'll fall asleep and stay asleep for
either a 20 or 40 minutes sleep cycle ... and then I continue with NCSS
where I dash in the minute he rouses and pat, cuddle, bf him back to sleep
immediately. Like is says in NCSS, we have those microwakes at night and
put ourselves back to sleep ... babies just need a little help with the
getting back to sleep after the little wake-up.

At the moment, he's giving me a 2 hour sleep most days with a second nap of
shorter duration.
K is now an old hand and puts herself to bed for a nap after lunch which is
usually 2-3 hours

Amanda

"A&G&K&H" wrote in message
...

If H is tired but past getting himself to sleep, I hold him against me and
sing songs until he relaxes and falls asleep. If he's at the "past it"
stage (won't bf, won't lie down etc) it might take 5 minutes of crying and
cuddling for him to settle down, but he'll fall asleep and stay asleep for
either a 20 or 40 minutes sleep cycle

....just to be clear ... he will *not* fall asleep after 5 minutes of CIO
....so its not the same thing for us.
A

"Jo" wrote in message news:dj03k0 I'm
still look for the magic answer on how to get him to nap longer
than 45mins at a time, but I'm not sure there is one.

I don't find it hard to get him to sleep either, just keep him asleep.

Jo - maybe I'm being dense but have you read NCSS? She talks about going
back at around 40 minutes and soothing as soon as he stirs.
I've read somewhere else that sleep cycles are in multiples of 20 minutes,
so 40-45 minutes might be the end of a sleep cycle and an immediate bf /
cuddle/ rock/ pat whatever you normally do to get to sleep in the first
place might do the trick.
I've been doing this with H in the day (and at night but he co-sleeps so I
barely wake up long enough to remember it) and he'll go back for another 40
minutes (which is plenty for his nap). Its getting easier and he's starting
to sleep for 2 hour naps now.

Having said that, 11 months was the "sleeping thought the night" age for my
kids. They both absolutely *did* need 2-4 bf at night until then.

Amanda

A&G&K&H wrote:
"Jo" wrote in message news:dj03k0 I'm
still look for the magic answer on how to get him to nap longer

than 45mins at a time, but I'm not sure there is one.

I don't find it hard to get him to sleep either, just keep him asleep.


Jo - maybe I'm being dense but have you read NCSS? She talks about going
back at around 40 minutes and soothing as soon as he stirs.
I've read somewhere else that sleep cycles are in multiples of 20 minutes,
so 40-45 minutes might be the end of a sleep cycle and an immediate bf /
cuddle/ rock/ pat whatever you normally do to get to sleep in the first
place might do the trick.
I've been doing this with H in the day (and at night but he co-sleeps so I
barely wake up long enough to remember it) and he'll go back for another 40
minutes (which is plenty for his nap). Its getting easier and he's starting
to sleep for 2 hour naps now.

Having said that, 11 months was the "sleeping thought the night" age for my
kids. They both absolutely *did* need 2-4 bf at night until then.

Amanda



No, I haven't read it yet, but it is something I'm going to follow up on
when I'm out and about tomorrow - bookshop!

When he does stir at 45 min or so, I do go to him asap. If I don't, he
escalates (which I've only experimented with a few times!) and wakes up
completely. That is my only concern, really. I'm sure he'll grow out
of it - he grew into it, so I'm sure he will!

When I cosleep, I hate the idea of using the dummy, so we BF, and I
don't wrap him. He still seems to rouse much more often than in his
cot, and goes to sleep easier in his cot because I wrap/dummy. I have
decided to partially co-sleep

Thanks for the comments - it's good to know that what I have been doing
(at the 40 min intervals) is what she says in the book I haven't read
yet It's great to know that it's so common

Thanks,

Jo

I have just finished reading a book called the No Cry Solution guide to
sleeping. I always wondered about letting them cry... seems they would
just get more ****ed off and get too upset to sleep. Also, the author
recommends setting them down as they are about to fall asleep and
likens it to an adult falling asleep in bed and waking up in another
room on the floor... all confused and worried. I am yet to have the
baby so who knows. Just from the book though, it seems like a good idea
to minimalize crying.

"Jo" wrote in message
...

Jo - maybe I'm being dense but have you read NCSS? She talks about going

Amanda



No, I haven't read it yet, but it is something I'm going to follow up on
when I'm out and about tomorrow - bookshop!

i also 2nd reading NCSS. i found it really helpful!
--
elizabeth (in australia)
DS1 20th august 2002
DS2 26th September 2005

"In raising my children, I have lost my mind but found my soul."
--Lisa T. Shepherd

"arachne" wrote in message
...

"Jo" wrote in message
...

Jo - maybe I'm being dense but have you read NCSS? She talks about
going

Amanda



No, I haven't read it yet, but it is something I'm going to follow up on
when I'm out and about tomorrow - bookshop!

i also 2nd reading NCSS. i found it really helpful!

I'm thinking that this book and Pinky McKay's books should be handed out to
new parents at their first antenatal check-up!

..oOrachOo. wrote:
I have just finished reading a book called the No Cry Solution guide to
sleeping. I always wondered about letting them cry... seems they would
just get more ****ed off and get too upset to sleep. Also, the author
recommends setting them down as they are about to fall asleep and
likens it to an adult falling asleep in bed and waking up in another
room on the floor... all confused and worried. I am yet to have the
baby so who knows. Just from the book though, it seems like a good idea
to minimalize crying.


Just read it, and implementing plans now Working fairly well so far
after one day. I'll have to stick to it!

THanks

Jo