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#1
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not CIO but Cry-In-Arms?
Anyone heard of this?
What are your thoughts? http://www.awareparenting.com/answer13.htm Its all so confusing! I thought it would be much kinder to them if they didn't cry - a dummy/boob/rocking/wrapping helps that, but what do we really know about how much a baby *needs* to cry? Am I just delirious with lack of sleep for even considering this? Jo (Mum to a cat-napping Will, 4.5 months) |
#2
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not CIO but Cry-In-Arms?
"Jo" wrote in message
... Anyone heard of this? What are your thoughts? http://www.awareparenting.com/answer13.htm Its all so confusing! I thought it would be much kinder to them if they didn't cry - a dummy/boob/rocking/wrapping helps that, but what do we really know about how much a baby *needs* to cry? Am I just delirious with lack of sleep for even considering this? I'm skeptical that a four-month-old baby only needs one or two night feeds, and possibly only if he/she was small for age. It doesn't sound like the author BF, but I could be wrong. I'll give her that though, that she does recommend checking for hunger first, disapproves of CIO and isn't anti-cosleeping. The AAP recently came out in favour of dummies/pacifiers in SIDS prevention, but stupidly IMO were against even safe co-sleeping and didn't mention comfort sucking at the breast, which is the obvious biological SIDS prevention strategy for those who are BF and happy to let their babies comfort suck. I think some babies need to suck, and I can't see a problem with it unless it's becoming too much for the mother to handle. I've also heard that babies that age typically cry for an hour and a half a day. Sure, if nothing else works and they're still going to cry, it's probably nicer for them to cry in someone's arms, and there's no point feeling guilty about why your baby is *still* crying. If it's driving you insane to the point where you can't cope, I also think it's acceptable to put them in their beds for 15 mins or so and take time out where you can't hear them. No CIO is the ideal IMO, but we can't be perfect all the time. -- Amy Mum to Carlos born sleeping 20/11/02, & Ana born screaming 30/06/04 http://www.freewebs.com/carlos2002/ http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/ana%5Fj%5F2004/ My blog: http://spaces.msn.com/members/querer-hijo-querer-hija/ -- Amy Mum to Carlos born sleeping 20/11/02, & Ana born screaming 30/06/04 http://www.freewebs.com/carlos2002/ http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/ana%5Fj%5F2004/ My blog: http://spaces.msn.com/members/querer-hijo-querer-hija/ |
#3
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not CIO but Cry-In-Arms?
Have you ever actually left your baby to....cry it out. My baby 4months will
cry for all of 5 minutes and she is asleep. Maybe she only needs that little time. I would never leave her for more than that though. I hate to hear her cry but at the same time I know she is tired and she woundnt go to sleep if I was there with her. I personally couldnt see cry in arms working for my baby. Cheri "Jo" wrote in message ... Anyone heard of this? What are your thoughts? http://www.awareparenting.com/answer13.htm Its all so confusing! I thought it would be much kinder to them if they didn't cry - a dummy/boob/rocking/wrapping helps that, but what do we really know about how much a baby *needs* to cry? Am I just delirious with lack of sleep for even considering this? Jo (Mum to a cat-napping Will, 4.5 months) |
#4
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not CIO but Cry-In-Arms?
I'm skeptical that a four-month-old baby only needs one or two night feeds,
and possibly only if he/she was small for age. It doesn't sound like the author BF, but I could be wrong. Every baby is different. All 3 of my children slept through the night from a young age. Jas 6weeks Sean 7weeks, Tara before we left the hospital (3days) And all my children have been or are breastfeed. So just because one child needed night feeds doesnt mean the next will just as it doesnt mean that many dont need many night feeds. And I think the emphase is on NEEDS they probably only do NEED one or two feeds but the probably WANT many more. Cheri |
#5
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not CIO but Cry-In-Arms?
What exactly are you considering doing... not using a pacifier or swaddling
any more? Your Will is still a tiny baby, and I think you need to follow your gut. Wrap him tight, nurse, rock, pacify, etc, and if he wakes in the night, it's likely that it's because he's hungry, so feed him. Hugs my friend. It's only going to get easier and easier. 6 months is so much easier than 4, I promise! -- Jamie Earth Angels: Taylor Marlys, 1/3/03 -- My Big Girl, who started preschool, and loved it! Addison Grace, 9/30/04 -- My Little Walker, who wants nothing more than to go explore the world! Check out the family! -- www.MyFamily.com, User ID: Clarkguest1, Password: Guest Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up your own User ID and Password "Jo" wrote in message ... Anyone heard of this? What are your thoughts? http://www.awareparenting.com/answer13.htm Its all so confusing! I thought it would be much kinder to them if they didn't cry - a dummy/boob/rocking/wrapping helps that, but what do we really know about how much a baby *needs* to cry? Am I just delirious with lack of sleep for even considering this? Jo (Mum to a cat-napping Will, 4.5 months) |
#6
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not CIO but Cry-In-Arms?
I couldn't even do "cry in arms"...I don't have enough patience. I mean, if
baby is hungry or tired or wet, I get that, and I can fix it. But if baby is just cranking, and needs to crank, and won't be settled or noticeably comforted by being held, then I lose patience (I'm talking about after a long time, not 5 minutes) and need to put them down. I figure if they need to let it out, they probably also don't need a lot of outside stimulation, so I lay them in their crib in a darkened room, and shut the door. Then I go turn on the radio in the bathroom and get in a hot shower, so I can't hear any crying. After 15-20 minutes, I feel much more relaxed, and baby is fast asleep. And if not, I feel so much better that I am capable of going in and "saving" them, and once I pick them up, they tend to calm pretty quickly. Either way, situation fixed! And I got a shower in, to boot! : ) -- Jamie Earth Angels: Taylor Marlys, 1/3/03 -- My Big Girl, who started preschool, and loved it! Addison Grace, 9/30/04 -- My Little Walker, who wants nothing more than to go explore the world! Check out the family! -- www.MyFamily.com, User ID: Clarkguest1, Password: Guest Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up your own User ID and Password "Jake Mysterio" wrote in message ... Have you ever actually left your baby to....cry it out. My baby 4months will cry for all of 5 minutes and she is asleep. Maybe she only needs that little time. I would never leave her for more than that though. I hate to hear her cry but at the same time I know she is tired and she woundnt go to sleep if I was there with her. I personally couldnt see cry in arms working for my baby. Cheri "Jo" wrote in message ... Anyone heard of this? What are your thoughts? http://www.awareparenting.com/answer13.htm Its all so confusing! I thought it would be much kinder to them if they didn't cry - a dummy/boob/rocking/wrapping helps that, but what do we really know about how much a baby *needs* to cry? Am I just delirious with lack of sleep for even considering this? Jo (Mum to a cat-napping Will, 4.5 months) |
#7
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not CIO but Cry-In-Arms?
"Jo" wrote in message ... Anyone heard of this? What are your thoughts? http://www.awareparenting.com/answer13.htm Its all so confusing! I thought it would be much kinder to them if they didn't cry - a dummy/boob/rocking/wrapping helps that, but what do we really know about how much a baby *needs* to cry? My opinion on baby crying is that they should never be left to cry alone, but crying in arms is not necessarily "bad". The idea that they need to cry to release tension is bunk for many babies, but you can sort of get a feel for whether they are "winding up" or "winding down". There's crying, and then there's crying. Full blown hysterical fit needs addressing and comfort and help winding down. Putting a baby down and letting them "grumble" for a little while while they sort of fade out is no big deal and I do that on occasion with Shiny. If they're going to cry somewhere, in arms is better than not. I think the idea that you're "putting off inevitable crying" with a pacifier or extended nursing is silly--it may be true for some kids, but never was for mine. Jenrose |
#8
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not CIO but Cry-In-Arms?
When H was little, I tried all that rocking and patting business - sometimes
it would work, but more often than not, he would just cry and cry and cry. After a quick visit to sleep school, I discovered rocking and patting just ****ed him off. As soon as I stopped that - like Cheri said - five minutes of waaaaa and he was asleep. Depends on the kid entirely, so just do what works for you |
#9
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not CIO but Cry-In-Arms?
*sigh* It's so frustrating isn't it. ds has a hard time with naps as he
fights sleep all the way and mostly only sleeps for 45mins. He never just falls asleep if he is tired but just gets more grumpy and overtired until he just cries continually. So it's vital we catch his tired signs and whisk him into his cot asap. But he still cries most of the time we put him down. We have found it all depends on the time of day as to what will soothe him. For instance, just now I put him down, he didn't cry, so I left him to wibble (moan a little) and after 10 mins he is asleep. I am always in the next room readly to rescue if he starts crying. By the early evening he is far more cranky and it usually takes a dummy, a lot of comforting strokes and shh.... to get him of for his evening nap. If he really cries I pick him up and cuddle and soothe for a minute or so until he is calm and put him back down again. I have never left him to cry for longer than a couple of minutes (usually if I am downstairs or on the occasion I really need to leave the room for a deep breath) because he just gets worse rather than crying himself to sleep. For some babies this works, for William it doesn't. Having read loads of stuff on the trying to find the magic answer I have become a firm believer in doing whatever a parent feels works best. I've come across a few new mums elsewhere who feel guilty for bf to sleep, but bloody hell, if it works and their baby is happy, stuff the 'expert's. I'm still look for the magic answer on how to get him to nap longer than 45mins at a time, but I'm not sure there is one. Jeni |
#10
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not CIO but Cry-In-Arms?
I found this article quite funny, I can see where she is coming from on the
crying being stress and sometimes just needing to cry to get rid of it, as an adult I feel like that sometimes, but equally there are alternatives, sometimes sleep, sometimes a good meal, sometimes some company, so I don't see why it shouldn't be like that for a baby too. What I found really hilarous was "A four-month-old is too young to be left to fall asleep alone.", I never planned it this way, nor trained Ada this way, but she will only fall asleep alone, it makes things difficult if we are out, because if I am holding her, she will not fall asleep, I have to make a concious decision, she is tired, I need to put her down and then find somewhere to put her. Anne |
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