A Parenting & kids forum. ParentingBanter.com

If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.

Go Back   Home » ParentingBanter.com forum » misc.kids » Breastfeeding
Site Map Home Authors List Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read Web Partners

not CIO but Cry-In-Arms?



 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old October 17th 05, 05:20 AM
Jo
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default not CIO but Cry-In-Arms?

Anyone heard of this?

What are your thoughts?

http://www.awareparenting.com/answer13.htm

Its all so confusing! I thought it would be much kinder to them if they
didn't cry - a dummy/boob/rocking/wrapping helps that, but what do we
really know about how much a baby *needs* to cry?

Am I just delirious with lack of sleep for even considering this?


Jo (Mum to a cat-napping Will, 4.5 months)
  #2  
Old October 17th 05, 06:27 AM
Mum of Two
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default not CIO but Cry-In-Arms?

"Jo" wrote in message
...
Anyone heard of this?

What are your thoughts?

http://www.awareparenting.com/answer13.htm

Its all so confusing! I thought it would be much kinder to them if they
didn't cry - a dummy/boob/rocking/wrapping helps that, but what do we
really know about how much a baby *needs* to cry?

Am I just delirious with lack of sleep for even considering this?



I'm skeptical that a four-month-old baby only needs one or two night feeds,
and possibly only if he/she was small for age. It doesn't sound like the
author BF, but I could be wrong. I'll give her that though, that she does
recommend checking for hunger first, disapproves of CIO and isn't
anti-cosleeping.
The AAP recently came out in favour of dummies/pacifiers in SIDS prevention,
but stupidly IMO were against even safe co-sleeping and didn't mention
comfort sucking at the breast, which is the obvious biological SIDS
prevention strategy for those who are BF and happy to let their babies
comfort suck.
I think some babies need to suck, and I can't see a problem with it unless
it's becoming too much for the mother to handle. I've also heard that babies
that age typically cry for an hour and a half a day. Sure, if nothing else
works and they're still going to cry, it's probably nicer for them to cry in
someone's arms, and there's no point feeling guilty about why your baby is
*still* crying.
If it's driving you insane to the point where you can't cope, I also think
it's acceptable to put them in their beds for 15 mins or so and take time
out where you can't hear them. No CIO is the ideal IMO, but we can't be
perfect all the time.


--
Amy
Mum to Carlos born sleeping 20/11/02,
& Ana born screaming 30/06/04
http://www.freewebs.com/carlos2002/
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/ana%5Fj%5F2004/
My blog: http://spaces.msn.com/members/querer-hijo-querer-hija/



--
Amy
Mum to Carlos born sleeping 20/11/02,
& Ana born screaming 30/06/04
http://www.freewebs.com/carlos2002/
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/ana%5Fj%5F2004/
My blog: http://spaces.msn.com/members/querer-hijo-querer-hija/


  #3  
Old October 17th 05, 07:18 AM
Jake Mysterio
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default not CIO but Cry-In-Arms?

Have you ever actually left your baby to....cry it out. My baby 4months will
cry for all of 5 minutes and she is asleep. Maybe she only needs that little
time. I would never leave her for more than that though. I hate to hear her
cry but at the same time I know she is tired and she woundnt go to sleep if
I was there with her. I personally couldnt see cry in arms working for my
baby.

Cheri
"Jo" wrote in message
...
Anyone heard of this?

What are your thoughts?

http://www.awareparenting.com/answer13.htm

Its all so confusing! I thought it would be much kinder to them if they
didn't cry - a dummy/boob/rocking/wrapping helps that, but what do we
really know about how much a baby *needs* to cry?

Am I just delirious with lack of sleep for even considering this?


Jo (Mum to a cat-napping Will, 4.5 months)



  #4  
Old October 17th 05, 07:28 AM
Jake Mysterio
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default not CIO but Cry-In-Arms?

I'm skeptical that a four-month-old baby only needs one or two night feeds,
and possibly only if he/she was small for age. It doesn't sound like the
author BF, but I could be wrong.


Every baby is different. All 3 of my children slept through the night from a
young age. Jas 6weeks Sean 7weeks, Tara before we left the hospital (3days)
And all my children have been or are breastfeed. So just because one child
needed night feeds doesnt mean the next will just as it doesnt mean that
many dont need many night feeds. And I think the emphase is on NEEDS they
probably only do NEED one or two feeds but the probably WANT many more.

Cheri


  #5  
Old October 17th 05, 07:28 AM
Jamie Clark
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default not CIO but Cry-In-Arms?

What exactly are you considering doing... not using a pacifier or swaddling
any more? Your Will is still a tiny baby, and I think you need to follow
your gut. Wrap him tight, nurse, rock, pacify, etc, and if he wakes in the
night, it's likely that it's because he's hungry, so feed him. Hugs my
friend. It's only going to get easier and easier. 6 months is so much
easier than 4, I promise!
--

Jamie
Earth Angels:
Taylor Marlys, 1/3/03 -- My Big Girl, who started preschool, and loved it!
Addison Grace, 9/30/04 -- My Little Walker, who wants nothing more than to
go explore the world!

Check out the family! -- www.MyFamily.com, User ID: Clarkguest1, Password:
Guest
Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up your own User ID and
Password

"Jo" wrote in message
...
Anyone heard of this?

What are your thoughts?

http://www.awareparenting.com/answer13.htm

Its all so confusing! I thought it would be much kinder to them if they
didn't cry - a dummy/boob/rocking/wrapping helps that, but what do we
really know about how much a baby *needs* to cry?

Am I just delirious with lack of sleep for even considering this?


Jo (Mum to a cat-napping Will, 4.5 months)



  #6  
Old October 17th 05, 07:32 AM
Jamie Clark
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default not CIO but Cry-In-Arms?

I couldn't even do "cry in arms"...I don't have enough patience. I mean, if
baby is hungry or tired or wet, I get that, and I can fix it. But if baby
is just cranking, and needs to crank, and won't be settled or noticeably
comforted by being held, then I lose patience (I'm talking about after a
long time, not 5 minutes) and need to put them down. I figure if they need
to let it out, they probably also don't need a lot of outside stimulation,
so I lay them in their crib in a darkened room, and shut the door. Then I
go turn on the radio in the bathroom and get in a hot shower, so I can't
hear any crying. After 15-20 minutes, I feel much more relaxed, and baby is
fast asleep. And if not, I feel so much better that I am capable of going
in and "saving" them, and once I pick them up, they tend to calm pretty
quickly. Either way, situation fixed! And I got a shower in, to boot! : )
--

Jamie
Earth Angels:
Taylor Marlys, 1/3/03 -- My Big Girl, who started preschool, and loved it!
Addison Grace, 9/30/04 -- My Little Walker, who wants nothing more than to
go explore the world!

Check out the family! -- www.MyFamily.com, User ID: Clarkguest1, Password:
Guest
Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up your own User ID and
Password

"Jake Mysterio" wrote in message
...
Have you ever actually left your baby to....cry it out. My baby 4months
will cry for all of 5 minutes and she is asleep. Maybe she only needs that
little time. I would never leave her for more than that though. I hate to
hear her cry but at the same time I know she is tired and she woundnt go
to sleep if I was there with her. I personally couldnt see cry in arms
working for my baby.

Cheri
"Jo" wrote in message
...
Anyone heard of this?

What are your thoughts?

http://www.awareparenting.com/answer13.htm

Its all so confusing! I thought it would be much kinder to them if they
didn't cry - a dummy/boob/rocking/wrapping helps that, but what do we
really know about how much a baby *needs* to cry?

Am I just delirious with lack of sleep for even considering this?


Jo (Mum to a cat-napping Will, 4.5 months)





  #7  
Old October 17th 05, 08:46 AM
Jenrose
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default not CIO but Cry-In-Arms?


"Jo" wrote in message
...
Anyone heard of this?

What are your thoughts?

http://www.awareparenting.com/answer13.htm

Its all so confusing! I thought it would be much kinder to them if they
didn't cry - a dummy/boob/rocking/wrapping helps that, but what do we
really know about how much a baby *needs* to cry?


My opinion on baby crying is that they should never be left to cry alone,
but crying in arms is not necessarily "bad".
The idea that they need to cry to release tension is bunk for many babies,
but you can sort of get a feel for whether they are "winding up" or "winding
down". There's crying, and then there's crying. Full blown hysterical fit
needs addressing and comfort and help winding down. Putting a baby down and
letting them "grumble" for a little while while they sort of fade out is no
big deal and I do that on occasion with Shiny.

If they're going to cry somewhere, in arms is better than not.

I think the idea that you're "putting off inevitable crying" with a pacifier
or extended nursing is silly--it may be true for some kids, but never was
for mine.
Jenrose


  #8  
Old October 17th 05, 09:15 AM
Arte
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default not CIO but Cry-In-Arms?

When H was little, I tried all that rocking and patting business - sometimes
it would work, but more often than not, he would just cry and cry and cry.
After a quick visit to sleep school, I discovered rocking and patting just
****ed him off. As soon as I stopped that - like Cheri said - five minutes
of waaaaa and he was asleep.

Depends on the kid entirely, so just do what works for you


  #9  
Old October 17th 05, 10:30 AM
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default not CIO but Cry-In-Arms?

*sigh* It's so frustrating isn't it. ds has a hard time with naps as he
fights sleep all the way and mostly only sleeps for 45mins. He never
just falls asleep if he is tired but just gets more grumpy and
overtired until he just cries continually. So it's vital we catch his
tired signs and whisk him into his cot asap. But he still cries most of
the time we put him down. We have found it all depends on the time of
day as to what will soothe him. For instance, just now I put him down,
he didn't cry, so I left him to wibble (moan a little) and after 10
mins he is asleep. I am always in the next room readly to rescue if he
starts crying. By the early evening he is far more cranky and it
usually takes a dummy, a lot of comforting strokes and shh.... to get
him of for his evening nap. If he really cries I pick him up and cuddle
and soothe for a minute or so until he is calm and put him back down
again.

I have never left him to cry for longer than a couple of minutes
(usually if I am downstairs or on the occasion I really need to leave
the room for a deep breath) because he just gets worse rather than
crying himself to sleep. For some babies this works, for William it
doesn't.

Having read loads of stuff on the trying to find the magic answer I
have become a firm believer in doing whatever a parent feels works
best. I've come across a few new mums elsewhere who feel guilty for bf
to sleep, but bloody hell, if it works and their baby is happy, stuff
the 'expert's.

I'm still look for the magic answer on how to get him to nap longer
than 45mins at a time, but I'm not sure there is one.

Jeni

  #10  
Old October 17th 05, 12:10 PM
Anne Rogers
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default not CIO but Cry-In-Arms?

I found this article quite funny, I can see where she is coming from on the
crying being stress and sometimes just needing to cry to get rid of it, as
an adult I feel like that sometimes, but equally there are alternatives,
sometimes sleep, sometimes a good meal, sometimes some company, so I don't
see why it shouldn't be like that for a baby too.

What I found really hilarous was "A four-month-old is too young to be left
to fall asleep alone.", I never planned it this way, nor trained Ada this
way, but she will only fall asleep alone, it makes things difficult if we
are out, because if I am holding her, she will not fall asleep, I have to
make a concious decision, she is tired, I need to put her down and then find
somewhere to put her.

Anne


 




Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Texas mom cuts off the arms of her baby daughter, calls 911 U3 General 5 November 24th 04 03:24 AM
how long can i use my arms reach co-sleeper? Karen Breastfeeding 4 October 15th 03 10:06 PM
| Safe in the arms of love Kane Foster Parents 0 August 27th 03 04:20 PM
Arms & Sockets Corinne General 0 August 15th 03 12:53 PM
Arms & Sockets Corinne General 0 August 15th 03 12:53 PM


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 09:19 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright ©2004-2024 ParentingBanter.com.
The comments are property of their posters.