not CIO but Cry-In-Arms?

Ericka Kammerer wrote:



Does Will cry a lot at night? Or does he just
wake a lot? What exactly is he doing?

Just waking a lot (every sleep cycle) - well, he sort of cries, but not
really. If I left him, he'd escalate and CRY. He wakes in his sleep (if
that makes sense!) and makes noises to get my attention, and I assess
the situation when I get to him - eyes open? feed. Eyes closed, dummy
back in and rewrap if necessary. If that doesn't work, or he does it
again soon after, he gets fed. He usually only properly wakes (eyes
wide open) once or twice in the night - I am assuming these are the
times he's actually hungry.


Maybe there are babies for whom that works,
but I can't say that my babies ever behaved as that
article suggests they would, so I'm a bit skeptical.

See, he doesn't behave like that *because* we use the dummy and
wrapping. If we removed either of those things, he probably would
behave like that. He only needs wrapping so that his hands don't knock
the dummy out, now. He won't suck on his hands for comfort, but he pats
his head/face for comfort while going off to sleep if I don't wrap, and
the dummy comes straight out - then he gets shirty again.

Best wishes,
Ericka

Thankyou

Jo

I know that for my daughter, there were times when she'd cry, and cry, and
cry if being held/rocked, but if I put her down, she'd be asleep within 5
minutes. It was very easy to tell when she was crying because she needed to
cry and was falling asleep-it was like a wind up toy winding down where it
got softer, slower, and then stopped, while if she needed something else, it
escalated, and quickly.

One annoying thing we're dealing with right now is that our new neighbors
have what must be a huge subwoofer-you don't HEAR the music, but you can
absolutely feel the vibrations in our house, and it seems to come on right
about at the time Alli is trying to settle down. As a result, she doesn't
settle and go to sleep as she normally does, and by the time the guy
finishes his post-work album, I have a really unhappy 10 month old who is so
tired and so stressed that all she can do is cry until she falls asleep. The
thing is, it's too early in the evening to really complain about, and would
be only a minor annoyance if I didn't have a baby.

--
Donna DeVore Metler
Orff Music Specialist/Kindermusik
Mother to Angel Brian Anthony 1/1/2002, 22 weeks, severe PE/HELLP
And Allison Joy, 11/25/04 (35 weeks, PIH, Pre-term labor)

On Mon, 17 Oct 2005 08:12:33 -0500, "Donna Metler"
wrote:

One annoying thing we're dealing with right now is that our new neighbors
have what must be a huge subwoofer-you don't HEAR the music, but you can
absolutely feel the vibrations in our house, and it seems to come on right
about at the time Alli is trying to settle down. As a result, she doesn't
settle and go to sleep as she normally does, and by the time the guy
finishes his post-work album, I have a really unhappy 10 month old who is so
tired and so stressed that all she can do is cry until she falls asleep. The
thing is, it's too early in the evening to really complain about, and would
be only a minor annoyance if I didn't have a baby.

Have you ever tried a white noise machine? We had a neighbor with a
teenager that had a noisy 'fast and the furious' wannabe car that was
LOUD and he came and went at all hours of the day and night. Plus
during naps it's great for naps during the day when my idiot dogs bark
when the doorbell rings.

We got a Timex 'nature sounds' clock radio and we use sound #4 which
is a waterfall which sounds just like static. It was between $20-$30
dollars at Best Buy. A true white noise machine is between $50-$60.

Jo wrote:

See, he doesn't behave like that *because* we use the dummy and
wrapping. If we removed either of those things, he probably would
behave like that. He only needs wrapping so that his hands don't knock
the dummy out, now. He won't suck on his hands for comfort, but he pats
his head/face for comfort while going off to sleep if I don't wrap, and
the dummy comes straight out - then he gets shirty again.

If all you're doing is wrapping and giving him
the pacifier, I'd just hang tough with that. It will
get better soon. His need to suck so much will diminish
a bit, and his ability to replace his pacifier will grow,
and things will smooth out a lot. With babies who take
pacifiers, you do tend to go through a phase where you're
up every little bit to replace it, but it does pass.
That doesn't make it feel any better while it's going
on, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel ;-)

Best wishes,
Ericka

Jo wrote:

Just waking a lot (every sleep cycle) - well, he sort of cries, but not
really. If I left him, he'd escalate and CRY. He wakes in his sleep (if
that makes sense!) and makes noises to get my attention, and I assess
the situation when I get to him - eyes open? feed. Eyes closed, dummy
back in and rewrap if necessary. If that doesn't work, or he does it
again soon after, he gets fed. He usually only properly wakes (eyes
wide open) once or twice in the night - I am assuming these are the
times he's actually hungry.
See, he doesn't behave like that *because* we use the dummy and
wrapping. If we removed either of those things, he probably would
behave like that. He only needs wrapping so that his hands don't knock
the dummy out, now. He won't suck on his hands for comfort, but he pats
his head/face for comfort while going off to sleep if I don't wrap, and
the dummy comes straight out - then he gets shirty again.
Thankyou

Jo

Ok--he sounds just like Alexander at that age. Here's my suggestion
since it sounds like he is in another room from you. We couldn't
co-sleep when Xander was younger because he had reflux, but he was
waking so often that there was no way I could handle getting up, going
in another room, etc., so his bed was in our room, but not in our bed.
That way (since he was in the cradle--it's huge--until he could sit
around 6 months old, he was in that thing), I rolled over, leaned over,
found the pacifier, stuck it in, and rewrapped if necessary. Then I
was just able to roll back, and I didn't really fully wake up so it was
a *lot* easier to fall back asleep. Still majorly tired in the morning,
but no where near as crabby as when we tried him in another room for
all of two nights. ;-)

HTH!

Sharalyn

Hugs Jo. Perhaps try swaddling him tighter, and then double wrapping him so
that he can't break free? We swaddled Addie until 5 months, because she
really just slept better and longer while tightly wrapped. I was also lucky
in that she learned pretty early on how to find her own paci and put it back
in. By about 4 months old she could follow the paci leash to the end, grab
the paci and stick it in her mouth. Of course, in the middle of the night,
tighly swaddled, she couldn't, but the tightness of the swaddle kept her
sleeping longer.

Hugs and good luck.
--

Jamie
Earth Angels:
Taylor Marlys, 1/3/03 -- My Big Girl, who started preschool, and loved it!
Addison Grace, 9/30/04 -- My Little Walker, who wants nothing more than to
go explore the world!

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"Jo" wrote in message
...
Jamie Clark wrote:
What exactly are you considering doing... not using a pacifier or
swaddling any more? Your Will is still a tiny baby, and I think you need
to follow your gut. Wrap him tight, nurse, rock, pacify, etc, and if he
wakes in the night, it's likely that it's because he's hungry, so feed
him. Hugs my friend. It's only going to get easier and easier. 6
months is so much easier than 4, I promise!

Jamie, I don't even know what I am considering doing! I just know I need
more than 15 minutes sleep every 45 min overnight... and I know that often
all he needs is dummy back in and re-wrapping. If he wakes again not long
after, he gets fed (whether he's properly awake or not - he usually cries
in his semi-sleep). If he wakes awake, he gets fed. I wouldn't mind if
he actually needed feeding that often overnight - I'd at least know his
waking was for a purpose, but just for the dummy seems silly to me, to
keep it up. Co-sleeping doesn't work - he can comfort suck now, but it's
constant - like all night on and off. I can't sleep at *all* then.

Jo

I'm skeptical that a four-month-old baby only needs one or two night
feeds,
and possibly only if he/she was small for age. It doesn't sound like the
author BF, but I could be wrong. I'll give her that though, that she does
recommend checking for hunger first, disapproves of CIO and isn't
anti-cosleeping.

really? Ada has been sleeping through from 9 weeks, with no training at all,
she's just started waking for 1 feed and is 4 months and 1 week. Nathanael
slept through at fairly much spot on 4 months, and he only weighed just over
10 pounds at four months, again, no training. It's probably not normal, but
it's certainly possible.

Anne

quickly. Either way, situation fixed! And I got a shower in, to boot!
: )

Absolutely! If they are not being soothed by being in your arms, then why
get yourself stressed out too, it's been incredibly rare for one of mine to
get like that and the problem not be solved by putting them down and leaving
them alone

Anne

Only in the car when I couldn't pull over. Admittedly, it *was* only 5
min before he slept. I couldn't imagine doing it on purpose though...

I wouldn't worry about a few minutes of crying.
My kids definitely had a different "blowing off steam"
cry than a hungry cry or a frightened cry or whatever.
All you get if you try to soothe them through a "blowing
off steam" cry is a whole lot of work for you and less
sleep for them.

I totally back up everything Ericka says, with my first I rarely let him
cry, until I got to the point when I just couldn't hack having him screaming
in my arms, then almost always putting him down and setting a timer for 15
minutes worked, when I came back he would be asleep. Now I've got 2, I can't
always jump up every time Ada cries and I've noticed she'll have a little
grump and I'll do nothing and if she really needs something she'll make sure
I know, but quite frequently she'll just be saying I'm bored of playing,
time to go to sleep and she does, but had I interfered, I would have made it
worse, which means with Ada I've never got to that crisis point, I've had
her very cross because she really has needed me but I've been tied up with
Nathanael, but that's life with 2 children and you get there as soon as you
can!

Anne

One annoying thing we're dealing with right now is that our new neighbors
have what must be a huge subwoofer-you don't HEAR the music, but you can
absolutely feel the vibrations in our house, and it seems to come on right
about at the time Alli is trying to settle down. As a result, she doesn't
settle and go to sleep as she normally does, and by the time the guy
finishes his post-work album, I have a really unhappy 10 month old who is
so
tired and so stressed that all she can do is cry until she falls asleep.
The
thing is, it's too early in the evening to really complain about, and
would
be only a minor annoyance if I didn't have a baby.

actually I would pop round and have a word, you are not asking him not to
listen to music, just if he could not use his subwoofer at that time of day,
which is quite different.

Anne