If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. |
|
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
#1
|
|||
|
|||
All those principles I left behind
I was having a conversation with myself the other day (hey, I'm a good
listener) and I was pondering all those principles I have sent down the drain since my pregnancy... I just thought I'd make a list. Feel free to add yours! 1. Medicalised birth. I was totally against the very idea of it. And I ended up induced, with the epidural, with a full medical staff around me. No Birth Centre comfortable room, nor music playing while giving birth... And I don't regret it one bit: it was the best birth I could get given my situation, and I am glad the way it went. No regret, even though I'll try again for "natural" next time. 2. Clothe diapers. I had bought a second-hand kit (10$, so no big risk), and was very intent on starting up after the first week of DD's birth. And then after two weeks... And then the Swaddlers seem so comfortable to her... and well, I just gave my kit away to my mother's step-niece, who's a big environmentalist. In a way, I do have some regret that I didn't do this. However, I do believe in indulging once in a while, and this is one of these times. I feel a slight bit guilty, I must admit. 3. Pacifier. My mother raised me without a pacifier (but she let me cry to sleep, too!), and I abhor one year old babies who still go about with their paci and who can't live without it. So I vowed never to give a pacifier to DD. Guess what? She's a paci-happy baby. She goes to sleep with it at night, and we realised how it calms her when she's upset. I will try to rid her of it by four-five months, but well, if she likes it that much, I'm ready to walk over that principle as well! 4. Co-sleeping. I thought I would co-sleep for a long long time with DD. Well, after a week, and being unable to breastfeed her in bed, we let her sleep in her moses at the foot of the bed. And after a month, we introduced her to her own bed in her own room, and she has slept there ever since. She sleeps for much longer periods since we sent her there (and it's not because we can't hear her, she's next door and her door is a screen door). So much for co-sleeping, another principle gone beserk in the face of my reality. That's on top of my head. More will resurface, I'm certain. Now, I don't want to start discussions on the pros and cons of each practice. Only find out what you found you just had to let go of in matters of principles, in *your* baby-world, as I did in mine... Isabelle Mother to Catherine, Nov. 27 2004 |
#2
|
|||
|
|||
Zaz wrote: "Before I was married, I had a hundred theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three children and no theories." John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester I've been a "perfect parent" for so long (criticizing friends and relatives behind their backs, and feeling smug about how I was going to do it So Much Better (tm)) that I am confident that it will come back to bite me in the ass within a week of actual parenthood. Amy |
#3
|
|||
|
|||
Zaz wrote:
I was having a conversation with myself the other day (hey, I'm a good listener) and I was pondering all those principles I have sent down the drain since my pregnancy... I just thought I'd make a list. Feel free to add yours! Honestly, I didn't have a lot of cast-in-stone principles to start with, other than wanting to meet my baby's needs and provide lots of love. I think that makes it easier--other people will knock your choices enough. You don't have to knock your own choices even before you've made them! 1. Medicalised birth. I was totally against the very idea of it. And I ended up induced, with the epidural, with a full medical staff around me. No Birth Centre comfortable room, nor music playing while giving birth... And I don't regret it one bit: it was the best birth I could get given my situation, and I am glad the way it went. No regret, even though I'll try again for "natural" next time. I have a quibble here, though--having a medicalized birth because you need one is not an acceptance of "medicalized birth" as a concept, which usually is more to do with the routine medicalization of birth. One can accept that medical technology is appropriate and necessary and desirable in some cases without accepting that all birth should be medicalized ;-) I could have had a necessary c-section with all the bells and whistles and still be anti-medicalized-birth and pro-low-intervention birth. 3. Pacifier. 4. Co-sleeping. I think these are pretty silly to decide on in advance. Different babies and different families have different needs. I don't see the point in being rigid about this sort of thing. Frankly, while I have preferences, there aren't a whole bunch of things I'm particularly rigid about as a parent. I'm all for whatever works, with the caveat that there are certainly some things that work short term that create more hassle long term. FWIW, my babes have all been attached to their pacifiers. I generally don't do anything about it the first year and start limiting use in the second year with a goal of removing it entirely in the third year or so. I found them very useful, though I can understand why some don't like them. I've also not chosen to co-sleep. When they were tiny, they'd sometimes end up in our bed, but it wasn't great sleep for any of us and they've all slept well and happily in their own beds. Frankly, the only principle I hope doesn't go down the tubes for me is flexibility ;-) Best wishes, Ericka |
#4
|
|||
|
|||
On Fri, 11 Feb 2005 12:54:46 -0500, Zaz wrote:
3. Pacifier. My mother raised me without a pacifier (but she let me cry to sleep, too!), and I abhor one year old babies who still go about with their paci and who can't live without it. Hehe, it's funny how having a baby changes your life ;-) Personally, I can deal with a 1y/o with pacifier, but once they get to preschool age, it should be gone. Or at best only at night. DS outgrew his all by himself a couple of months ago (he's now 2.5y/o). He stopped having it in the house when he was ~1, and suddenly stopped asking for it in bed as well. Only when he's feeling sick he sometimes wants it back, and that's fine with me. -- -- I mommy to DS (July '02) mommy to four tiny angels (28 Oct'03, 17 Feb'04, 20 May'04 & 28 Oct'04) preggers with twins EDD August'05 guardian of DH (33) |
#5
|
|||
|
|||
Zaz writes:
: Now, I don't want to start discussions on the pros and cons of each : practice. Oh, Damn! Larry |
#6
|
|||
|
|||
Zaz wrote:
I was having a conversation with myself the other day (hey, I'm a good listener) and I was pondering all those principles I have sent down the drain since my pregnancy... Love this thread! 1. I read Ezzo because a friend recommended it to me and I told DH I was going to follow it to the letter. When Pillbug actually got here, it all flew out the window! 2. Co-sleeping: never knew about it, just thought that babies slept in cribs. Until my mom kept saying (gently) that babies sleep better with their mothers and we ended up doing so just so I could get more sleep. 3. Breastfeeding: I thought FOR SURE my personality was such that I could only handle it for 2 months. It was squicky and, golly, I had to go back to work. Well, SIL lent me her PIS, and once I got the hang of it after a month (and with my pediatrician's encouragement), there was no looking back. I ended up nursing for 17 months and stopping only because my supply dropped in pregnancy. But, here are a couple of things I have kept firm on from observing my cousins with their children: When one cousin's toddler fell, he sobbed a couple of times, then got up and played. The cousin ran over to him, saying "oh, mommy's bad, mommy wasn't watching, it's my fault, don't cry" and caused the kid to have a crying fit... I swore I'd never do that! And another cousin would ASK her child when we were done shopping, okay, we're finished, do you want to leave Target now? Come on, don't you want to leave? The child put up a huge fuss! I swore I'd never ask my child something that he didn't have a choice in. So, yes, he can choose which pants to wear, pick one toy in the store, and whether he wants apple juice or milk, but he does NOT get to decide if it's okay for me to leave the store! -- Anita -- |
#7
|
|||
|
|||
|
#8
|
|||
|
|||
Zaz wrote:
I was having a conversation with myself the other day (hey, I'm a good listener) and I was pondering all those principles I have sent down the drain since my pregnancy... I just thought I'd make a list. Feel free to add yours! Mine don't really pertain to babies but to preschoolers and older kids. I wonder how many more I'll add before they are teenagers :-O I was pretty sure I'd work with my kids on some brain enriching activity at least once a day. I'd have a calm and peaceful house where we would read, draw, tell stories, learn amazing things every day. My children would love to do these things simply because I wanted them to and I exposed them to it. They would quietly bring me art supplies and then sit and make art. That hasn't really happened, lol. -- Nikki |
#9
|
|||
|
|||
wrote in message ups.com... | | Zaz wrote: | | "Before I was married, I had a hundred theories about raising children | and no children. Now, I have three children and no theories." John | Wilmot, Earl of Rochester | | I've been a "perfect parent" for so long (criticizing friends and | relatives behind their backs, and feeling smug about how I was going to | do it So Much Better (tm)) that I am confident that it will come back | to bite me in the ass within a week of actual parenthood. hehe. I KNOW that when the Tapdole is born, I will eat EVERY word I ever said about "what I will do when....." |
#10
|
|||
|
|||
"Nikki" wrote in message ... I was pretty sure I'd work with my kids on some brain enriching activity at least once a day. I'd have a calm and peaceful house where we would read, draw, tell stories, learn amazing things every day. My children would love to do these things simply because I wanted them to and I exposed them to it. They would quietly bring me art supplies and then sit and make art. That hasn't really happened, lol. LOLOL! As a former teacher I had all these ideas for "enrichment" at home also. In fact, I have stacks and stacks of teaching supplies in my basement because I was *sure* that I'd be using them. Bah! Ds is plenty happy with a pair of scissors, and a stack of paper. A piece of twine from the Christmas tree, an empty water bottle turns into a spaceship, etc. My big activity with him the other day was to make one of those tornados in a bottle. It was something he saw on Zoom and he initiated it, lol. JennP. |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
Former foster child crusades for those left in the system | wexwimpy | Foster Parents | 0 | April 5th 04 04:48 PM |
Should I let left side dry up? | Cheryl S. | Breastfeeding | 10 | December 17th 03 09:32 PM |
Boys getting left behind in school? Well, DUH!!! | Dusty | Child Support | 8 | November 30th 03 06:27 PM |
baby always looking left | teapot | Breastfeeding | 7 | November 15th 03 04:24 PM |
More milk on right than left? | Kathy | Breastfeeding | 19 | October 20th 03 02:31 PM |