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#91
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DS and eating
"toypup" wrote in message .. . On Fri, 25 May 2007 23:54:44 +0100, Penny Gaines wrote: (Rice pudding is a lovely bland dish of rice cooked into mush.) Is that the same as rice porridge? I love rice porridge. It's not so bland when it's cooked in chicken stock. No I don't think so. I haven't heard of rice porridge. Rice pudding is a sweet dish (you can buy it tinned which is not very good). It's pudding rice cooked in milk (in the oven) with a bit of butter and nutmeg on the top. You stir brown sugar or jam into it. I haven't made it for at least 15 years so I can't remember the recipe offhand. Debbie |
#92
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DS and eating
"enigma" wrote in message . .. Clisby wrote in link.net: Rosalie B. wrote: First - when I was cooking, mixed vegetables were significantly nastier and also more expensive than buying the vegetables separately. I think mixed vegetables are still pretty bad (assuming you mean the frozen kind). I don't know about cost, since I don't buy them. i bet she meant the canned ones. Veg-All YUCK! and i never could figure out canned potatoes? why, why? potatoes are available pretty much year round & they keep well. we happen to like frozen mixed veggies (i won't buy frozen potatoes either, except tater tots...) lee We have one recipe which uses tinned potatoes. Didn't know before dh produced that recipe you ould get tinned potatoes. Frozen potatoes? Never noticed them except as chips. The only frozen veg I would get it frozen peas (to eat raw mostly, we all enjoy that) and the only tinned veg is sweetcorn which at one point was the only food item #2 would consistantly eat in quantity. Frozen sweetcorn is horrible. Debbie |
#93
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DS and eating
"Penny Gaines" wrote in message news Ericka Kammerer wrote: [snip] We never had that many choices. more than 2 veggies? More than one would have been Thansgiving. I don't know how "normal" your dinners were. I didn't know anyone who made that much stuff. My grandmother was doing the cooking, and there were six of us at the table. I think this was common for my grandmother's era (though not so much for my parents'). You don't even want to know what Thanksgiving looked like ;-) I think the way my grandmother cooked was very common for her time. Food was mostly prepared relatively simply and there were more different things on the table. I think that is far less common today (or during my childhood-- my friends begged to eat at our house). When there's more variety on the table, there's less cost to telling a child "eat it or go hungry" because the child will likely find something to eat. If you've only got a couple things on the table, it's much harder for the parent to say "eat it or go hungry" and the parent has much more of an incentive to either cater to the child's limited preferences or push the child to eat. Surely that's due to the number of people eating. If you are preparing enough food for six (without using much in the way of ready-prepared food), you are much more likely to have a wide variety. If you are only feeding four, then you need less food. My parents made more food by increasing the volume of the individual items rather than increasing the number of items. Add to it that you might be buying pre-weighed packs of vegetables, and that you are feeding people who are less physically active (my Dad walked from our house to the station, then from the station to his office, my husband drives), then the quantity of feed needed is significantly less, and hence the number of dishes will be less. -- Penny Gaines UK mum to three |
#94
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DS and eating
"xkatx" wrote:
"Ericka Kammerer" wrote in message ... Rosalie B. wrote: "xkatx" wrote Yes, and if I'm not looking at her, I'm looking at the 7 month old. Or trying to concentrate on nursing the 7 month old while I try and feed myself and keep her hands out of my food or whatever. Or I'm trying to listen to N tell me about his day at work or DS's day at school. I shouldn't have to be watching the 6 year old like a hawk, but I seem to have to anyways. Also, I've noticed, he's sneaky as can be. If, keeping to examples already out, I am taking DD2's tray and plate away, he'll do it then as it only takes a second for me to turn my back and it to happen. This strikes me as a lot more complicated than just an eating problem. He's either doing this on purpose to be annoying or he has to do it for some reason of his own. It does sound like there's an element of a power struggle. It seems like for whatever reason, he doesn't like the rules (reasonable as they may be) and this is his way of pushing back. Best wishes, Ericka This might seem fair and reasonable. I have noticed that the worst time for this is at dinner, and I've also noticed his behaviour in general seems to be less than desireable at this time of the year when the kids are all outside playing. DS has picked up a real mouth and attitude, and it does seem to stem from these other boys. Yes, I know DS is the only one who should be responsible for his own behaviour like this, but it's just frustrating. The food is the first battle I would like to pick and conquer with him. I know we always say to pick your battles, but I'm not sure that conquer is the word I'd use for that. He's already proved that he doesn't have to do what you want. It will be three or four times as difficult to 'win' this battle. Winter comes, the neighbourhood kids aren't all outside, and he turns back into the little boy that he can be - listens and is just a typical boy for his age. Spring comes around and the other kids come out and well, it just seems to bring along some major issues, and yes, at times, it does appear that he just doesn't like the rules. I think this *might* have something to do with the simple fact that he does have rules and expectations from us. Is it like that RL Stevenson poem about going to bed when it is still light out in the summer? Are the kids outside during your dinner time? These other kids, OTOH, don't seem to have that from their parents. It's not uncommon for me to see one or a few of these boys in the neighbourhood out wandering around at 9, 10pm. On a school night. Not that it matters, but I wouldn't wander aimlessly around at that hour, I would never allow my child to either. Many of the other kids - 97% of the time the other parents have no idea (or seem to care) where their children are or what they're doing. What age are the children that are out? I don't think that there is that much bad about having children unscheduled at some point. Or they could be bad parents or they could be overstressed parents who have no options. Maybe he is a little depressed in the winter when the days are shorter, and he has more energy in the spring and summer. Maybe if you loosened the control a little bit, he would relax about the food hiding thing. Or maybe you could use going out after dinner as a reward for not hiding food. Or you could feed him his dinner separately from the rest of the family - after everyone else has eaten or just feed the two kids at the same time and you and your husband eat afterwards by yourselves. Or you could let him pick a snack and watch TV while the rest of you ate, and then feed him on his own afterwards. If he were my child, I would just put plastic down (I used to use old plastic tablecloths backed with fabric that I had for picnics around the high chair) all around his chair so that it would be impossible for him to put food anywhere except on top of the plastic and then let him do what he wants, and just take up the plastic and put any food that was in that area in the garbage. I used to wash the tablecloth also. I would refuse to fight about it, or even acknowledge it. I know that this is not age appropriate, but if it has the effect of making less work for you, then you will feel less stressed about it. When you are less stressed, he will realize that he's not getting to you and may eventually stop. What might happen next, of course, is that he will act out in some other and equally inappropriate, destructive and irritating way. You may prefer the problem that you have now to some problem in the future. .. |
#95
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DS and eating
xkatx wrote:
"Ericka Kammerer" wrote in message ... It does sound like there's an element of a power struggle. It seems like for whatever reason, he doesn't like the rules (reasonable as they may be) and this is his way of pushing back. This might seem fair and reasonable. I have noticed that the worst time for this is at dinner, and I've also noticed his behaviour in general seems to be less than desireable at this time of the year when the kids are all outside playing. DS has picked up a real mouth and attitude, and it does seem to stem from these other boys. Yes, I know DS is the only one who should be responsible for his own behaviour like this, but it's just frustrating. The food is the first battle I would like to pick and conquer with him. Winter comes, the neighbourhood kids aren't all outside, and he turns back into the little boy that he can be - listens and is just a typical boy for his age. Spring comes around and the other kids come out and well, it just seems to bring along some major issues, and yes, at times, it does appear that he just doesn't like the rules. I think this *might* have something to do with the simple fact that he does have rules and expectations from us. These other kids, OTOH, don't seem to have that from their parents. It's not uncommon for me to see one or a few of these boys in the neighbourhood out wandering around at 9, 10pm. On a school night. Not that it matters, but I wouldn't wander aimlessly around at that hour, I would never allow my child to either. Many of the other kids - 97% of the time the other parents have no idea (or seem to care) where their children are or what they're doing. Is it an issue in the fall as well? Have you considered allergies as a possible culprit? I know when DS1's seasonal allergies kick up, not only is he dealing with itchy eyes and a runny nose, but it affects his mood and behavior as well. He gets generally cranky and resistant. In fact, I usually notice the behavioral change before he notices the eyes/nose/ throat issues. Are you implying above that the food hiding thing wasn't happening in the winter, and is a new phenomenon? I understand from your past posts that he's a bit of a challenging child to deal with, and that you have to be fairly firm with him. There are some areas where kids a traditionally very capable of mounting a resistance if they feel (rightly or wrongly) that they've been too controlled. Potty training and eating are the prime examples of those. They know they hold most of the cards with these two areas. You can't make them eat, and you can't make them go in the potty...and they know it. It may be helpful to back off on the "you must eat X or else Y" rules for a bit and instead concentrate on the table rules that have to do with him being a pleasant dinner companion. For some kids who are prone to engaging in power struggles, you may be better off being very strict about a minimal set of rules that are absolutely necessary, and then let him make his own decisions in areas that aren't as important. For instance, of the table rules you described, the ones that seem more expendable to me would be the ones about him having to finish every bite of what he takes and an "acceptable" amount of what he's served. If he goes wild eating between meals, you could specify particular snack times so he's not eating all day and spoiling his meals. He's going to decide what to put in his mouth anyway, so why create a power struggle over it? And if he is responsible for cleaning up what he drops/ hides, then that isn't an effective way of getting back at you for the rules he's resenting. Making a mess doesn't create more work for you. It just creates more work for him. Of course, being a clever sort, he's likely to find a way to make the cleaning more work for you as well, so if you go in that direction, you'll need to have a strategy in mind for how you'll deal with it when he balks at cleaning and makes it five times as much work as if you'd just taken care of it yourself. Best wishes, Ericka |
#96
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DS and eating
Welches wrote:
[snip] (Rice pudding is a lovely bland dish of rice cooked into mush.) I take it you don't like it. You need it properly made not school dinners or Ambroisier. [snip] Oh no, I do like it properly made. You can now get it in Waitrose etc in the readymeal range. Seems a bit pointless (like ready cooked jacket potatoes). -- Penny Gaines UK mum to three |
#97
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DS and eating
"RivahGal" wrote in message oups.com... On May 23, 9:49?am, "xkatx" wrote: Alright, this is driving me absolutely bonkers. I really don't know what to do with this one, so I'm hoping someone has some ideas! I'm x-posting (alt.mothers & misc.kids) - hope no one minds. DS is now 6. He seems to be a fairly fussy eater, and has been for some time. He doesn't like mushrooms. He doesn't like much for vegetables. Not crazy about too many fruits, other than a rare banana, watermelon, apples. Doesn't like yogurt, etc. I tend to 'sneak' these foods into his diet, though, so it's not too big of a concern at times. The problem is, though, I am getting sick and tired of certain things he does. When eating, if he doesn't like it (and I know he doesn't) rather than fight about it, I tell him to just pick it out and put it on the side of his plate. Example, eating spaghetti and I put mushrooms in it. Just put it on the side of his plate, and let it be. The problem is, he seems to 'hide' food he doesn't like or want. I find the toast crust shoved in the corner of his chair at the table - same with the green beans or lima beans or whatever out of his meals. He'll discreetly 'drop' the stuff he doesn't like under the table, under his chair or on his chair. It makes a huge mess, and quite frankly, doing a full vacuum of the table area EVERY meal, 3x a day, shouldn't be necessary, I don't believe. But I have to because there's a huge mess. It isn't always stuff he doesn't like. To me, it almost seems like he's gone back to the toddler stage of when he just doesn't want anymore, he'll drop it. His cereal at breakfast - if he doesn't want to finish it, he will do the same dropping or hiding thing. I don't know why. I have never forced him to eat anything more when he claims to be full, nor have I ever forced him to eat anything he doesn't like. He knows the rules are that if you try it once and don't like it, fine. He also knows the rules are that if he serves himself food (and he is definitely at that age where he likes to serve himself) then he must eat all he takes - he knows to start small and have seconds and is usually real good with this, with the exception of the 'dropping' and 'hiding'. If someone else serves him, he needs to eat an acceptable amount and if he says he's full before the plate is done, then there are no snacks until next meal (although he is more than welcome to snack on the previous meal he filled up on) I'm just wondering why he is dropping and hiding this food. It's really starting to drive me insane. I've always thought that the food thing wasn't an issue. He has been doing this for quite some time - I'd say he started about 2 years ago, but lately it seems to be getting worse. We had to put DD1 back into her high chair to remove her booster seat partly because he was hiding food under her booster seat. (other reason is this booster has no straps to tie her in, so she stands or gets up) He definitely makes more of a mess at any given meal than DD1 does, and she is only 22 months. Sorry this is so long. Tried to offer as much info as possible! Any ideas? I wouldn't try to figure out WHY he's doing it (this is just my take!), but I'd sure make him clean up the mess each time. Witht he vacuum or cleaning it up with paper towels. But if he makes the mess, he should clean it up. He's old enough. I would also begin giving him very small portions of whatever you're having. Ridiculously small. If he eats it all and wants more, give him another small portion. In any case, I'd certainly put it on him to clean up after himself. But then, I'm the Mean Mom. Julie askmeanmom.com If he is 6 one would assume he can say why he is doing what he is doing. You might want to try asking him. |
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